Another season, another shoujo… Another beautiful heroine, another drop-dead gorgeous bishie, another unlikely romance born out of unsavory circumstances. Why is it unlikely and why are the circumstances unsavory? ‘Cause Erika’s the wolf girl, and Kyouya’s the black prince. More specifically, Erika uses Kyouya’s picture to pretend as though she has a boyfriend. Ah, the dangers of trying to impress your peers. Unfortunately for Erika, however, Kyouya goes to her school, so he quickly finds out about her ruse. He’ll agree to play along so that she can impress her not-so-impressive friends, but on one condition: Erika will have to endure as he torments her over and over and over. Man, aren’t these two characters just absolutely likeable right off the bat? The sad thing is, it’s a shoujo, so they will fall in love with each other. There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it. It will happen, and well, I find that sort of sad.

Because honestly, Erika is so young. She has so much to learn, so many people to meet, so many mistakes to make, so on and so forth. So why would you settle for this jackass? Now, now, I realize that this is a shoujo, so we’ll eventually see Kyouya’s good side. But why would you even bother to wait that long? In fact, why would you suffer abuse just for love? Even if it pays off, doesn’t that establish a dangerous precedent? How long are we supposed to stay in a toxic relationship and hold out hope that everything will magically work itself out? My point is, there are plenty of guys out there. There are plenty of hot, smart guys out there who won’t treat you like shit. And you’re just a high schooler. So why would you settle now? Yes, again, I’m sure Kyouya will eventually show us that he’s not that bad, but yo, wouldn’t you rather be with someone who treats you well right from the very start?

The OP is just a microcosm for the rest of the series. For most of it, you predictably see the bishie treat our heroine like shit. But what do you see at the very end of the OP? Well, the poor girl has fallen and scratched up her knee! Awwww! And what does the bishie do? He extends a hand out to help her up, but he totally won’t look at her. He’s so tsundere, y’all. But because he’s extending a hand out to her, m-maybe there’s some good in him after all. Ganbatte, girl! Stick with this relationship! You can totally fix this bad but supermega hot boy! Seriously, that’s so bullshit though. I don’t need to be in love with anyone to help them up, and I’m sure this is the case for most people too. So what’s so special about the bishie doing it for Erika? Nothing. It’s not special. But shoujo anime would have you believe that he’s just a flawed diamond waiting to be cut and polished. And Erika’s just the girl to do it!

Anyway, the first episode kicks off with the first day of a new school year. Erika seems rather desperate to make friends, but maybe that’s just me. She’s the sort that talks a big game, but can’t back any of it up. Her one true friend even warns her that her boasts will bite her in the ass one day, which is just some not-so-subtle foreshadowing from the story. So when a pair of classmates talk about their boyfriends, our heroine can’t help but pretend as though she’s an expert on boys, relationships, and love in general. What’s perplexing is the logic behind her actions. She feels as though she has to put on airs or her newfound “friends” will kick her out of their group. But she hardly knows them. She has no clue whether or not her two classmates are even worth befriending. And if you get kicked just because you don’t have a boyfriend, what does that say about those classmates of yours?

I mean, I could understand it if she was trying to impress Mother Theresa, but she’s not. So why would you go to such lengths to impress random people? Erika’s excuse is that all of the other groups have already formed, and she doesn’t want to be left out. Yeah, this is the sort of thing you have to endure when you watch a shoujo. You sadly have to watch young people make young, stupid mistakes. And yeah, I don’t deny that there are a lot of teenagers with Erika’s mindset out there. They worry so much about the appearance of having friends without realizing at all that some of those friends just aren’t, well, good friends. Sure, we can grant this. Plus, it’s not the major quibble that I have with this anime, anyway. As flawed as Erika is — and to be fair, she’s just a kid — I’d never wish anything bad on people. So even though she’s rather shallow and superficial, she doesn’t deserve the treatment she’s about to suffer at the hands of the hot bishie.

Erika then uses Kyouya’s picture to prop up her lies, he finds out, he starts taking advantage of her, so on and so forth. First things first, he wants her to spin and bark like a dog. Right there and then, you’d cut your losses, admit you lied about having a boyfriend, and preserve your dignity. But this is a shoujo, so it’s all about dumb teenagers! Erika doesn’t allow herself to become a dog, but she does end up performing a bunch of menial tasks for Kyouya’s sake. And for what? What does she get out of it? Oh, right, he takes the heat and admits that he likes BDSM. When Erika’s “friends” tease him about being a big pervert, Erika feels so bad that she almost revealed the truth. But the bishie coolly admits to everything the girl had said about him, so our heroine stupidly comes to the following conclusion: “He said it was nonsense, but he went this far… for me?” C’mon, where’s your common sense? In Kare Kano, Soichiro made Yukino run around and do stuff for him too, but that lasted one whole episode before the girl stood up for herself. Here, Erika simply digs herself a deeper hole.

I know, I know. Not everyone is stupid. Not everyone will pattern their lives after some throwaway shoujo anime series. But some will. And I can’t help but feel as though Ookami Shoujo to Kuro Ouji teaches us that some shitty relationships are worth it. They might not have to treat you as badly as Kyouya treats Erika, but some hot people are just worth the craziness that comes along with the whole package. And I’m not bagging on hot people. There are certainly hot people out there who are also very nice people. My point is, have some pride in yourself. Have some self-respect. Nobody is ever worth it if they treat you poorly. We don’t even have to wait until they treat you like shit. Just cut the cord if you’re not happy. These shows will have you think, however, that happiness is just around the corner. They’re fantasy for a reason.

Stray notes & observations:

— They grow up so fast, don’t they?

— The animation is a bit embarrassing, especially considering how this is the very first episode.

— Plus, if you’re going to fake a boyfriend, why would you pick the hottest possible guy in the area and thus make it even harder to keep up the lie?