Just a bunch of shows that don’t deserve their own post.
New Saga Ep. 9
At the start of the episode, Kyle begs Urza to summon her gnome in order to find the secret passage. In order to do this, she’ll have to chug mana potions, which supposedly tastes like shit and makes you queasy. But it’s for the greater good, Urza! We need to save Gazus, and we’re short on time. But as soon as they find the secret passage, our party begins to stroll through the underground tunnel at a very leisurely pace. Yo, I thought we were on a time-sensitive mission. What gives? Well, “what gives” is the bane of most anime storytelling: exposition. The boys need to talk about how demons are really scary in combat. I can’t help but laugh at this point. I mean, you still could’ve pulled this off by having them run down the tunnel while talking. At least this would’ve maintained the sense of urgency.
In fact, this is a pretty exposition heavy episode. The group finds a mountain of dried-up corpses, because the bad guy made a deal with the devil, sacrificed people, blah blah blah. He’s doing it all for the city, blah blah blah. The city is in danger of losing its independence because their ore veins are running empty, blah blah blah. Ugh, spare me. Seriously, when has cozying up with the devil ever worked out? Bro, have you even read your German folklore? What an uncultured swine. Also, I had to chortle when one of the demons was like, “Well, I don’t have to tell you about the deal, but sure, why not!” And thus he spoke and spoke and spoke.
The demons are actually at odds with one another, because the female demon is displeased with all the murder and violence. You don’t always have to redeem or subvert expectations when it comes to villains, but when anime does it, it’s almost always the cute, hot woman who turns out to have a heart of gold all along. Case in point, the female demon finds herself in combat against Liese and Urza, but she has no desire to hurt them. Unfortunately, our girlies charge in anyway. Can you really blame them though? They haven’t been able to do much all season. They’re just eager to contribute. Yawn. Whatever, just have the demon girl join the party already.
Onmyo Kaiten Re:Birth Verse Ep. 7
Big lore dump episode. Basically, there are no time loops. Rather, Seimei somehow has the ability to create parallel worlds, and he’s been pitting them against each other in a twisted tournament — something about trying to achieve the perfect civilization through ruthless competition. Naturally, people don’t want to fight each other, so he has to cast an illusion to make you see your foes as onis. Once one of the worlds comes out on top, he repeats the process. Seimei admits that he’s pretty much insane.
Anyway, as usual, Takeru is the dumbest person alive. Why does this idiot keep greeting people at the start of every episode as if they should know him? How many damn time does he need to jump to a new world before he gets it through his fucking head that these people are different from their previous counterparts and thus they have never met him? He even gets told that Atsunaga in this world is dead, but later in the episode, he still asks, “Buuuuuuh, isn’t Atsunaga supposed to be in that shikigami?” I’m at my limit, man. This guy is so dumb. The saddest thing is that he’s probably right in a way. After what Seimei has revealed to us, there probably is an Atsunaga in the other shikigami. It’s just not this world’s Atsunaga. Unfortunately, Takeru’s one brain cell isn’t capable of connecting those dots.
Dealing with Mikadono Sisters Is a Breeze Ep. 6
Kazuki is such a brilliant actress. She gives her all to every role, and as such, she and Yuu need to go on a date. This is the only way she can tap into her dainty, demure feminine side. Nope, there’s no other solution. This is the only way. Naturally, the other two sisters aren’t clued in, because why would you ever tell your family what you’re up to? The truth, i.e. “I’m just doing this in order get into my role,” is way too embarrassing. Better to just lie. So of course, Nico and Miwa start freaking out due to, uh… latent feelings they now have for Yuu? Feeling left out of their sister’s life? Some combination of the above? Well, nothing we haven’t seen before in similar shows. In fact, I just binged a few episodes of that shrine maiden anime (more on this below), and there’s a very similar scenario in that show as well. It’s all regurgitated crap.
Look, while it’s true that actors often draw from their own lived experiences in order to get into their roles, it’s not a hard and fast requirement. This is an extreme example, but you don’t need to become a serial killer to play one. In fact, definitely don’t do that. Even just trying to put yourself in a serial killer’s mindset can lead to disastrous results. Also, I’m reminded of a funny anecdote:
“How did your week go, dear boy,” [Laurence] Olivier said.
[Dustin] Hoffman told him that he had filmed a scene in which his character was supposed to have been up for three days straight.
“So what did you do?” Olivier asked.
“Well, I stayed up for three days and three nights.”
Laurence Olivier then uttered this famous line, “Why don’t you just try acting?”
Anyway, most of the pretend date has Kazuki failing to fight her instincts. She keeps being gallant over and over even though she needs to practice being a girly girl. Some of those instincts are quite ridiculous too. For example, she dramatically jumps in front of Yuu to prevent him from getting wet at a dolphin show. But why would you sit that close if you have a problem with getting wet? I guess you can lay some of the blame on Yuu. If he had jumped to her defense first, she wouldn’t have to do it for him.
So what does finally work? Ah, the classic anime scenario where the guy has to protect his girl from — you guessed it! — other guys! According to anime, women can never protect themselves when they receive unwanted advances. Men only respect other men, so Yuu needs to mark his territory or whatever you wanna call it. This is the only way to drive other men off. Naturally, this bullshit scenario works on Kazuki.
If you’re still interested, the moral of the story is that Kazuki is afraid to fail (thanks to her dickhead of a father), so Yuu has to tell her that she’ll still be loved if she stumbles once in a while. Sure. This is a pretty standard life lesson to learn. It comes up in anime all the time too.
To the show’s credit, it did get a big laugh out of me: when Yuu saw dolphins performing tricks, he said, “They’re definitely smarter than me!” Well, he’s not wrong.
The Water Magician Ep. 6
Just another show where I’m casually consuming the dub. It’s one of those isekai series where the main character is overpowered, but he is clueless about it. This is the anime for people who wish they were talented enough to humble brag.
I guess if there’s one saving grace for this show, it’s that Ryo, the main character, can’t just join the best party and go on the best adventures. Where I’m at in the show, only a single person, Ryo’s first friend, is actually aware of his true abilities. Everyone else can’t quite believe what they’re hearing. As a result, there are two major plot threads going on at the same time. There’s Ryo putzing about on his own most of the time, investigating alchemy I think? Meanwhile, a bunch of notable adventurers and guild officials are trying to deal with a scary monster event known as the Tidal Bore. Yeah, I guess Tidal Bore is a pretty apt description of this show. But seriously, while it’s somewhat novel that Ryo isn’t the center of attention all the time, his day to day activities are honestly pretty dull.
Welcome to the Outcast’s Restaurant! Ep. 9
I want to relegate this show to dub status as well, but alas, no dub exists. Well, when we last left off, it almost seemed like the perpetrators were returning to the scene of the crime. But surprise, it’s actually Dennis’s loyal and supportive customers. Feeling emboldened by their kind words, our outcast does an about face and decides to stay after all. It’s kind of a quick turnaround, isn’t it. Sure, he was never gonna tuck his tail between his legs and run. That wouldn’t be very heroic of him. At the same time, however, why even bother with the whole “will he stay or will he leave” song and dance if it’s only going to last for less than half an episode? What was the point? You can’t even edge me correctly.
Anyway, Katie (great fantasy name like Dennis) confirms that our hero’s former party leader is behind the arson attack. Well, that jerk is kind of a big deal, so Dennis will need to use the power of friendship for any hope of justice. At the very least, the evildoers need to pay for burning all but one of Atelier’s precious books. They were all she had left from her dad! Well, most of this week’s episode is just everyone running around, seeing if anyone in their social network can lend their assistance. For example, Henrietta consults with a lawyer on whether or not they can build a legal case. Dennis even pays a visit to the woman who took him in all those years ago. Apparently, she might just be able to help him crash a dinner where all his enemies will be conveniently attending.
This episode is basically all setup, so there’s not much I can say about it except for one thing: why did it take Dennis so long to see his foster mother again? What’s up with that? Where would he be without her? From a very brief flashback, it seems as though Dennis left because felt he thought he could only go so far in her kitchen. He needed to leave in order to grow even further. Sure, that’s a classic scenario. You need to broaden your horizons in order to be come a better, more well-rounded person. At the same time, however, you should still routinely check in on your loved ones. Unless she’s objectively a horrible person, I don’t care what mission you’re on — or what you’re searching for in life — bailing on your mother is universally inexcusable.
Tougen Anki Ep. 8
Kuina is fighting for her life, but at the same time, the show keeps shoving her massive tits and ass in my face. Even when she’s lying bloodied on the floor, her assets are just so pronounced. Like bro, are we fighting or are we fapping? What do you want me to do? Make up your mind.
Tougen Anki‘s battles also epitomize everything I dislike about your average shounen. Characters voicing their thoughts mid battle. The enemy monster stupidly staring at our hero as he tells us over and over how scared he is. There’s also the classic move of wasting nearly half of the episode on an inane flashback as a last second attempt to build a backstory and garner sympathy for a character I didn’t previously care about (and still don’t). I’m sorry, but Rokuro became a massive coward because his former girlfriend got sick and died? How does that follow? “With her, I could do anything. Now she’s dead so I will almost let a classmate die!” I guess if I squint, I can maybe see the logic…? Ugh, you can’t even get me to feel bad for the wimp.
Then to top it all off, he bites into his finger to unleash his blood, which then shapes itself into the likeness of the dead girlfriend. Holy cornballs, my guy. Who wrote this shit? And what is the monster doing this whole time? Rokuro’s just talking to the bloody figment of his dead girlfriend! LOOK, HE EVEN HAS TIME TO BE EMBRACED BY HIS DEAD EX. JUST HIT HIM. JUST FUCKING HIT HIM.
After all that bullshit, Rokuro does major damage to the monster by twirling and dancing. Then the narrator has the gall to chime in and describe what we just saw. I have eyes, bro. I literally just watched it happened. What do you mean you’re telling me about the move? Who fucking asked? By the way, as if you couldn’t guess, Rokuro wins. Not before letting the monster stomp Kuina’s face in, but that’s okay. It’s anime so there won’t be any scars or anything.
A bunch of stuff happens in the remaining few minutes of the episode, but my mind is dazed from the abject shit I just consumed. The last battle in Dandadan lasted less than three minutes, but I’d rather watch it over and over for the entire length of an episode than what I just saw in this week’s episode of Tougen Anki. Look, I don’t want to glaze Dandadan over and over, but can you blame me? How can you not draw comparisons when they’re airing in the same season?
Kaiju No. 8 Ep. 19
It’s the Iharu and Reno show. Both characters are dealing with self doubt and feelings of inadequacy but for different reasons. Iharu thinks he’s hit his ceiling; he’s not as naturally gifted as his peers, so he’s afraid that they’ll leave him behind. Insecurities and jealousy can bring out the worst in us, so a part of him was glad to see Reno fail in mastering No. 6. Yeah, you’re right, man; that IS a pretty scummy thought to harbor.
Meanwhile, Reno is supposed to be the prodigy, but he hasn’t quite reached his true potential. If he was stronger, his friends wouldn’t need to suffer. Well, it’s good to reflect and identify our shortcomings, but we can’t torture ourselves over what ifs. That’ll just make us do something reckless like ignoring our body’s warning signs. Reno ends up breaking one of his legs by pushing himself too hard. Now he’s even farther way from helping his friends. Way to go, hero.
In the end, Iharu comes to Reno’s aid. You know the deal: teamwork is crucial, everyone has a role to play no matter where they are in the pecking order, people develop at their own pace, blah blah blah. But it’s kind of a weird situation. So what if the commander gives them more time? So what if Reno still manages to take the kaiju out? He was so reckless that he broke his leg. He needs to prove he won’t do that next time. Defeating the kaiju doesn’t answer that question. We’re worried about his mental state. But whatever, this is supposed to be a heartwarming moment about teammates lifting each other up. Just nod and enjoy.
Anyway, Kafka doesn’t show up once in this week’s episode. Does he have to? No, not necessarily. At the same time, however, when you shift perspectives to this extent, you run the danger of diluting the emotional core of your story. I’m barely invested in Kafka as it is. My care levels for Iharu and Reno are even lower. Frankly, I don’t really care about either of them. I wish I could sit here and type shit like, “OMG RENO IS CRACKED!” I wish I could pretend that I just saw the most amazing action scene ever, but I’d be lying.
Scooped Up by an S-Rank Adventurer! Ep. 9
We’re still setting up for the final arc of the season (assuming there is one), so once again, the focus is on the rest of the S-rank party. if last week’s episode was all about Silica and Daggas, then this week’s episode naturally shines its spotlight on Cross and Yui. They both manage to get stronger in their own way. Cross mentors a green adventurer who can barely fire his bow and arrow. Meanwhile, Yui learns a thing or two from a friend of Lloyd’s former teacher Merlin. I guess she’s here to check up on the kids. If the above sounds lowkey, that’s because it is. We could have done without the past two episodes. Nothing all that important happens in them. At the very least, these super exciting events could have been condensed into a single week.
Funnily enough, the show has a lot of time to spare because it hasn’t wasted its time on girls falling in love with Lloyd left and right. Anything can happen in the future, so we’re never truly safe from harem antics. But for now, Lloyd isn’t particularly close to, well, anyone. We don’t even get so much as a blush! Unfortunately, I don’t think the show has utilized its free time very well. The whole debacle involving monsters attacking Ishtar wasn’t even that tense to begin with, but what little momentum it built has instantly dissipated in the last two episodes. I feel like I’m stuck in traffic, counting down the minutes until something happens and I can finally move my car a few scant feet.
Apocalypse Bringer Mynoghra: World Conquest Starts with the Civilization of Ruin Ep. 9
Watching Atou scold Takuto, the twins, and the medics makes me wonder why she isn’t the ruler instead. She should just flat out run this whole charade. She’s even going to lead the charge into battle. That sounds like the MVP to me. Again, what does Takuto really bring to the table other than the ability to summon units? I feel like I ask this every week, but he also keeps does nothing every week so I think the question is merited.
Speaking of summoning, our hard-working king finally bring forth Isla to man the defenses. She is just a big honkin’ mantis. Well, at least this isn’t a harem anime. Not yet, anyways. I always have to add that little caveat, because all bets are off when it comes to anime. Make it an isekai and you simply increase the odds. But seriously, it’s nice that Isla isn’t another hot babe. On the other hand, Atou is supposed to be a sludge, but she gets to hide her true form. After all, waifus must always be cute and cuddly. I’m just glad someone actually looks like what they’re supposed to be. What’s a sludge anyway? An “evil” version of a slime?
The rest of the episode isn’t all that notable. Takuto has to run things for once without Atou’s assistance. This just means sitting on his ass and listening to his leaders’ proposals. Real back-breaking work, I know. As for Isla, she gets the lay of the land while bonding with the twins. Somehow, Isla feels more like a Mother Hen than the kingdom’s defensive leader. Meanwhile, Atou readies for battle against the horde of monsters attacking Dragontan. All by her lonesome? I guess so. Ho hum. Is this show building towards anything resembling a climax? Right now, the stakes are incredibly low.
Lately, I’ve been writing down the number of times I pause in the middle of these episodes. When I watch a good show, nothing distracts me (barring an emergency, of course). I’ll watch it from start to finish without any disruptions. Bad shows, however, are a way different story. Well, it’s the first of the month, so I remembered that I needed to pay my rent. I have five days to do it, but I paused the show to do it now. Then I felt like drinking some tea, so I got up and started a cold brew to quench my thirst later. I dared to go outside earlier today, so I got a mosquito bite. It has been aggravating me, so I got up to grab a cold pack to numb the area. I just remembered that tomorrow is Labor Day in the US, so I don’t need to wake early for stand-up and other inane work meetings. So I paused to disable my alarm, check to make sure Tuesday is enough to close out my remaining JIRA ticket before the sprint ends, etc. Well, you get the point. I paused the video a lot during this damn episode.
Gachiakuta Ep. 8
Rudo hears about a woman who might know a thing or two about how to get back into the Sphere, so he almost stupidly charges off on his own. He got his ass whupped just recently, and as a result, he nearly got kidnapped. But that’s expected from a hot head who still has a lot to learn about the world. For instance, did you know that bad people can also take good care of their possessions? But wait, there are more life lessons to be had. Now, this might sound crazy, but hear me out: it turns out you can’t fix things that aren’t broken!
Look, maybe Rudo should have to take a proficiency test before joining the Cleaners. I’m just sayin’, I think this kid should be going to school, not fighting on the frontlines.
After a big battle, you usually want to relax a little in order to give the audience a breather. This assumes, of course, that the past two episodes had us absolutely riveted, barely hanging onto the edges of our seats. Your call. But for the sake of the argument, let’s pretend that we are exhausted from all that thrilling action. So here, have some humor to lighten things up a bit! A bit of levity… as a treat! It turns out Rudo has never had sweets before, so given the chance to feast on pastries, he stuffs himself stupid. Stupid fat, that is. I think this is supposed to be funny, so by all means, please laugh.
Some thoughts on dubs I binged while doing the post-game for Triangle Strategy:
- First up is My Tiny Senpai. This show kinda sucks, but mostly because it’s a bunch of office workers masquerading as easily embarrassed teenagers. I’ve never seen such naive and innocent grown-ups before in my life. Anime can be bizarro land sometimes. Sexualize teenagers, but be absolute prudes with actual adults. I’ve also never seen a dude take a bigger L than the primary male love interest in this show. “My cute senpai can’t swim? Don’t worry, I’ll teach her! Oh no, I’m cramping up in the pool and now I’m going to drown. My senpai who literally has a trauma from nearly drowning as a kid now has to save me!” Then after she saves him, he nearly pulls her swimsuit off. Christ, just let someone else have your tiny senpai at that point. You fail but not as a man or anything chauvinistic like that. You just fail period.
- Next, I binged up to episode 13 of Tying the Knot with an Amagami Sister, so basically the first cour. This show actually cracked me up but for all the wrong reasons. For example, the three sisters get hit on after school. A crowd is gathering around them, so the sisters aren’t really in any danger. I mean, just walk away, right? Nope, the MC has to charge in and yell at the top of his lungs that they should walk home together. He totally saved them, bro. Yup, ain’t no way they could’ve escaped that awkward situation on their own. The three sisters are practically helpless. The way the MC screamed his words out, too. None of these dorks can ever be smooth, stoic, nonchalant, or any combination of the above. They can’t even pretend to hold it together. Every situation is panic-worthy. Every scenario is worth crashing out over. I basically rolled my eyes every few minutes listening to this show in the background.
Fun game, by the way. Not having the technical hiccups of the Switch version made me enjoy the game immensely more. It’s not my favorite SRPG (that’s still reserved for Tactics Ogre), but it was the perfect tune-up for the Final Fantasy Tactics remaster coming later this month.
