Being the number one card-carrying member of the Church of Tamon, Utage wholeheartedly believes that her oshi belongs to everyone. One of their precepts is that Tamon should never, ever direct his love and affection to one person and one person alone. As a result, she now wants to be professional and maintain boundaries between her and her oshi. Sure, sure. But a teeny, tiny part of her still desires Tamon for herself, and this is enough to trigger a crash-out. I’m torn too. I’m torn between “Girl, it’s just a popstar” and “This guy is weird and manipulative, so you should stay away from him.” In the end, however, it’s too late for Utage to back out. Well, no, she can always back out. But that would require her to switch off her fandom.