Only in anime can you find a character who is brazenly in love with a dog.
My Status as an Assassin Obviously Exceeds the Hero’s Ep. 3
Last week, Akira got himself a pretty elf waifu by the name of Amelia, so it makes perfect sense that he earns himself a pet mascot this week. The dragon they had been fighting was really a giant black cat demon thing. To make a long, boring story short, Akira basically makes it his familiar and names it Night. Real creative, this guy. Well, I suppose the black cat is sorta cute. Sadly, I don’t like its voice in either the English or Japanese audio track.
Anyway, we learn that Amelia was chased out of her kingdom by her own sister. Since Akira is super protective of his own precious imouto, he instantly tells the elf that she needs to mend things with her sister. It’s family! You gotta! You just gotta! I hate people like this. They’re the sort of people who will “surprise” you by inviting your estranged parents to a dinner and try to give you an intervention. Not all family relations are worth mending. Some people cannot be redeemed. Some families are straight up toxic. He knows nothing about Amelia’s situation other than what she is comfortable enough to divulge, so he really shouldn’t be giving any advice.
Nevertheless, when they step into a teleportation circle, it sends the trio right back to Amelia’s kingdom. We’re told that the teleportation circle responds to one person’s wish and one person’s wish only. According to Amelia, she isn’t ready for a family reunion. So who’s fault is it, huh? Is she lying? Or is Akira being a little naive busybody? Whatever. Even if it’s his fault, she’ll forgive him anyway. Amelia already seems to be attached to our isekai hero. Like your average anime protagonist, he’s too dense to realize she’s pretty much throwing herself at him. In the worst case scenario, he’s a siscon. For Amelia’s sake, let’s hope that isn’t the case.
Elsewhere, Tsukasa’s gang reaches the country formed by the previous isekai hero, so of course, it’s Japanese as all hell. Nothing too interesting happens with them. They ultimately decide to stay in place and train, because Tsukasa thinks Akira would spurn them at the current level. Weird, but whatever.
If I relegate a show to casual status, I usually prefer to listen to the English dub. It’s killing me, though. Akira uses the word “sus” at one point. One of his classmates then uses the slang “nom” when eating his rice bowl. Ugh.
Campfire Cooking in Another World with My Absurd Skill S2 Ep. 3
When Mukoda finally takes a bite of earth dragon meat, he just says it’s an amazing umami combination of beef, pork, and chicken. That description doesn’t really help my imagination much. Well, he prepares it like a hunk of roasted red meat — something like prime rib — so I guess I’d have to lean towards it being kinda beefy. Hell, he even dumps steak sauce on it. The only thing that gives me pause is that we generally do not eat pure carnivores down to a few exceptions, and I can’t imagine an earth dragon munching down veggies. But maybe they do, shrug. It’s a fantasy world, after all.
Anyway, Mukoda and his pets are about to go dungeoning, so the gods and goddesses make him even more OP. Wouldn’t wanna lose out on his otherworldly goods, I guess. They should just invade our world. Reverse isekai themselves and go to town.
Yano-kun’s Ordinary Days Ep. 4
Kiyoko is getting complacent, so we need a catalyst to push things forward. Enter Hashiba, a strait-laced student very much like Kiyoko. They both like the same drinks, they both attend after school committee meetings, they both have to care for their younger siblings, they both text the same way, blah blah blah. So naturally, he likes her. But this isn’t the type of show to have bitter love rivals or over-the-top melodrama, so he already knows he doesn’t have a chance. He already knows she likes Yano. He just wanted to confess his feelings to her in order to get it off his chest. How utterly pragmatic of him. Very befitting of a strait-laced student.
Hashiba even befriends Yano and decides to ultimately support Kiyoko in winning over the oft-injured dork’s heart one day. What a nice guy. But it’s all kinda boring, isn’t it? So how exactly does he serve as a catalyst? Well, he wants to know how Yano feels about Kiyoko. Yano obviously hasn’t thought of Kiyoko in that way, but sometimes, you just someone to plant the suggestion in your head before you eventually become consumed by it. It’s like that hit movie Inception! Well, if only. Inception‘s kinda overrated, because the first hour or so is just overladen with exposition. But another week, another Yano-kun episode nearly puts me to sleep.
Kakuriyo -Bed & Breakfast for Spirits- Season 2 Ep. 3
Progress? Are we actually getting progress in the romance? So of course, Odanna has to fuck off and disappear for unknown reasons. Oh he will be back eventually. I just wonder how long it’ll take. Anime and manga love doing the same schtick over and over where characters will declare their love for each other only to be separated for an extended period of time. Writers somehow think this separation can only make their bond stronger, but as a viewer, it’s frustrating to see the same damn plot device over and over again.
There are so many variations of it, too. Someone declares their love, then the other character loses their memories. Or both of them become amnesiacs. Or maybe they are in two different places, but conveniently decide not to use the myriad technological advances at their fingertips. Y’know, calls, texts, emails, etc. You can even just hop on Discord nowadays and have a chat. Fuck it, even snail mail would work. Just do anything besides complete silence. But instead, you usually get some bullshit like, “I’ll work hard, and you’ll work hard, and we’ll just keep each other in our thoughts until we can finally be together again~~~~” Ugh, I hate this trope so much. But I digress.
I’ll be annoyed if Raiju tries to steal Aoi away in Odanna’s absence just because anime can’t get enough of NTR. Oh, I definitely don’t think he’ll succeed, but it’s still maddening nonetheless.
Hero Without a Class: Who Even Needs Skills?! Ep. 4
I actually laughed a few times during this week’s episode, and it always involved Lilia. First, Lilia told Arel all about an upcoming tournament and encouraged him to sign up for it. But when she handed him an application, he promptly tore it apart. Why? ‘Cause it was really a marriage application. Next, she attempted to surprise him in bed. He quickly called her out for being a sexual predator. This is such a painfully generic show, but seeing Lilia fail and be the butt monkey is the lone bright spot.
I think this is because everyone else is just so serious. Arel only talks about getting stronger. Again, for what? Why are we on this hero’s journey with you? And Reiner isn’t exactly a party animal either. She’s about as mirthful as Arel. So y’know, someone’s gotta inject a bit of fun into this story. It comes at Lilia’s expense, but I’m okay with that.
Speaking of which, maybe Arel does legitimately like Reiner. He flat out says he’d rather marry her over Lilia, he trains with her everyday, and when they go dungeoning, he’d rather have her by his side over, again, Lilia. Unfortunately, Arel is so deadpan that Reiner can’t take him seriously. Or maybe it’s the heroine’s turn to be dense this time around.
Anyway, if you care about the plot, our heroes go down into a dungeon in order to train. Georg, guild leader of the Black Blades, ensnares them in a teleportation trap. The kids get sent to the deepest level where they fight a “Sword God,” but it just looks like a Dark Souls player character. Unsurprisingly, even a Sword God can’t beat Arel. It turns out his mother is also a Sword God herself. She was just pretending to be a lesser class to avoid getting any unwanted attention. Welp.
Pass the Monster Meat, Milady! Ep. 3
I think a problem I have with this anime is that the seemingly taboo monster meat doesn’t actually look gross. After Melphy works her magic, the monster meat looks positively normal. And sure, maybe that’s the point the show is trying to make, but even granting that, the message isn’t as salient as it could be. Starving people having to eat less than appealing foodstuff is nothing new. For instance, some cultures have to turn to bugs and other creepy crawlies as sources of cheap protein. Therein lies the actual problem: can you get past the ick factor? But in this show, the “gross” food looks like well-marbled, succulent red meat. Yes, I know the in-universe people can’t stand it. I know the people her mom saved still feel the need to lie about what they ate in order to survive. But I just wish the food actually looked gross. It would drive the point home better. Right now, I just see a bunch of snobs turning their nose at steak skewers.
Anyway, on the romantic front, Melphy thinks that someone like her would be a burden to Aristide, but he’s undeterred. Good for him, I guess.
My Gift Lvl 9999 Unlimited Gacha Ep. 3
This episode is just one big dick-measuring contest. “Yeah, your level is 150 whatever? Well, mine is 9999! Yeah, you have a pet dog? Well, my pet dog is bigger! Yeah, the world’s army might be too much for little ol’ me to handle? Well, look at my army.” Sure, whatever you say, lil’ bro. I just find it weird that you prioritized making some wolfman piss his pants over, oh… I dunno, checking in on your family who you haven’t seen in years.
Also, Light having a massively overpowered army is like downloading a save file for a JRPG where all of the characters’ levels are maxed out, and all of the best weapons, armor, and accessories have been found. Bro, what’s even the point? Where’s the fun in that?
Shabake Ep. 3
Well, I learned something new this week. I normally don’t watch period pieces, but if I hadn’t watched this show, I never would’ve learned that people used to grind up bits and pieces of mummies to put in their medicine. Ugh, I’ve definitely lost my appetite. I thought it was bad enough when my mom made me eat pig’s brain as a kid. Chinese herbal remedy, my ass. There was nothing herbal or remedial about it.
That being said, I’m still not vibing with this anime. It’s too much of a slow burn, but that’s not an entirely accurate assessment either. It’s one thing to be a moody slow burn, but Shabake likes to subject its viewers to tonally dissonant slice-of-life scenes intermixed with grisly details like a decapitated cat. The first season of True Detective was a slow burn, but I loved every second of it. On the other hand, each Shabake episode is only a little over twenty minutes, but somehow, it’s a struggle to get through them.
What the hell did we even learn this week? Someone is being cruel to animals? The killer has been selling the victim’s tool piecemeal? I need more than that, man. And the drama surrounding the young master’s servants aren’t enough. Which reminds me of another problem I have with this show: I have a hard time telling the men apart, because they all have the same hairstyle. Shabake is so different from most of the slop we get, so I want to give it a chance. At the same time, however, being different doesn’t automatically make it good.
A Wild Last Boss Appeared! Ep. 4
The first half of the episode involves Mars, the demon who manipulated the crybaby sheep into attacking the surviving heroes. Not much to say about our new demon buddy. Lufas kicks his ass without breaking a sweat, so as usual, it’s pretty boring. Typical power fantasy bullshit from anime. Mars then gets killed by some lady. I think it’s the goddess.
In the second half of the episode, our hero finally has a face-to-face talk with Megrez, but the elf isn’t the former player they used to game with. He’s like… a simulacrum based on the former player’s personality? I don’t even know. It’s weird. Imagine having to comfort your friend’s FFXIV character. They might sound like your friend, but it’s not the real thing. There’s no real connection there. I don’t know how I would react in this specific situation. A part of me would have a hard time taking any of it seriously. Anyways, Lufas is still the only isekai’d individual in this fantasy world, and if I had to make a bet, it’ll probably stay that way.
My Friend’s Little Sister Has It In for Me! Ep. 3
MC wants to throw a welcoming party for his cousin, but she hates his guts. Welp, what can you do, right? Well, what he does do is harass her nonstop for a week straight. What a prick. But this isn’t surprising, since he pretty much blackmailed his teacher into joining the team. And since this is an anime romcom, everything always works out in the end for the MC. The results are all that matter! Who cares how you get there as long as you get there! Iroha even encourages his behavior. She can’t take a no for an answer either, so why should she have a problem with him harassing Mashiro?
The Banished Court Magician Aims to Become the Strongest Ep. 3
When Lasting Period (snicker) find themselves in a battle, Ornest left a reaper around in order to test Alec. He wanted to be sure that his old friend could still hack it this far down in the dungeon. The girls were against the idea, but they didn’t exactly do anything to stop it. They didn’t even try. I find this whole situation a bit galling, because they’re on a rescue mission. That’s not exactly the best time to be testing a friend. So far, I haven’t found anyone to be particularly likable in this cast. Hard to watch an action/adventure anime with no one to root for.
As for the rest of the episode, I don’t think anything remarkable happens. They fight a dragon, meet some jackass, then yap a lot about what they’re going to do next week. Uh huh, great. Real scintillating storytelling you got there.
Hands off: Sawaranaide Kotesashi-kun Ep. 3
Soccer girl tries again to seduce the harem MC, but it’s not because she’s in love with him (yet). She’s just using him as practice for when she finally goes after the man of her dreams. It’s so stupid, because we know her dream man is just gonna be him. When he asks her to stop her bullshit because he doesn’t want to get fired, she just doubles down. Yeah, she’s kind of a horrible person. Not much else to say here, because we literally get nothing new. He works her body, she gets aroused and moans. The end. The only difference from last week is that she’s even more naked this time around.
Meanwhile, swimmer girl wants in on the fun. Unfortunately, it looks like she also wants to blackmail the harem MC. Kinda weird how blackmail is a plot device in two of these terrible shows.
Alma-chan Wants to Be a Family! Ep. 3
Alma helps a random girl by the name of Hana locate a bunch of lost puppies, and as a result, she gets her first friend. All of a sudden, our little robot girl wants to attend school. Her parents doesn’t need much convincing (they kinda spoil her), but how is this going to work longterm? Alma can’t age. Sure, she can blend in for maybe a couple of years, but kids grow up fast. I assume her parents are not going to slowly “age” her frame up every time a school year comes to an end.
In any case, this show’s flavor of domestic bliss has been kinda boring, so the show teases a potential rival/foil at the very end of the episode. I doubt the anime will suddenly take on a darker tone, though. New robot girl will probably end up being a friend after they fight a bit. Still, it looks like she only needs one inventor. Seems like the rival genius is already superior to Alma’s parents.
Dad is a hero, Mom is a spirit, I’m a reincarnator Ep. 3
The royal family has long been spurned by the spirits, so Ravisel needs Ellen to fix this inadequacy of theirs. He even manipulates Alberto into doing his bidding, i.e. the bodyguard was the one who leaked information regarding Rovel’s family. So yeah, this loser got off easy; he only got fired and justifiably so. In fact, I had to shake my head when Ellen insisted on her father forgiving the bodyguard. Good intentions or not, the man is traitor. How can you ever trust him again? It’s not like we’re branding him with a scarlet letter. We’re just dismissing his ass with prejudice. People have been fired for lesser offenses.
Nevertheless, this seems to be the fatal flaw of the Vankreift family: they are so easily susceptible to manipulation. The brother couldn’t do a thing against Agiel, and Rovel is powerless against his daughter. Even their bodyguard gets manipulated. Sure, Ellen wants her father to show a bit of clemency out of good intentions, but you know who else had good intentions? And it’s the principle of the matter! Stop manipulating people to get what you want! Convince people with your words, not your tantrums!
Worst of all, she’s not just a child who doesn’t know any better. There’s a grown ass isekai’d Japanese woman in there. It’s shameless. That’s why I always cringe when isekai MCs spend any significant time in their story as a kid. Everyone around them will inevitably coo over the “cute child,” and they’re anything but. Maybe they probably look into the mirror and are disgusted to see that “gross” adult body of theirs staring back at them, but the solution is not to fantasize about being a little kid again. Just get some therapy.
Mechanical Marie Ep. 3
Arthur thinks Marie has a girlfriend mode he can toggle on whenever he wants them to be lovey-dovey. Seems kinda pointless to me. If I gotta tell my girlfriend to act like one, then that isn’t much of a relationship. I think it sucks that everyone he trusts keeps lying to him, but at the same time, he’s so dumb that it’s almost like he deserves it. Is he really qualified to inherit a corporate empire?
We also meet an assassin who instantly falls in love with Marie. He even tries to blackmail her with her past. Okay, so now we have three different shows utilizing the same plot device. But there’s not much to talk about here, because the new character is not an actual rival for her affections. He might come back in later episodes, but I also wouldn’t be surprised if he’s a one-off distraction.
Li’l Miss Vampire Can’t Suck Right Ep. 2
Sakuma, one of Ishikawa and Otori’s classmates, discovers their little secret, but she’s harmless. Actually, I’d say she’s more useful than Otori, because she easily convinces our vampire heroine that no one will think any less of the latter. ‘Cause seriously, who cares if you can’t suck blood properly? So just like that, the cat’s out of the bag. Ishikawa no longer has to fake being cool. She no longer has to pretend that she’s an expert sucker. She can just be herself. So of course, it’s Otori’s turn to be all angsty and dramatic.
Otori’s fine if he’s just interacting with one or two people, but he can’t handle everyone’s attention. Well, being friends with one of the most popular girls will garner you a lot of attention. So he does the classic bitch ass move of avoiding Ishikawa completely. Dude, it’s only the second episode. You’re giving up already? Luckily, this conflict doesn’t last very long. The two kids make up before the episode ends. But even so, I lost what little respect I had for him. I’ve never been so insecure that I stopped being someone’s friend.
Gachiakuta Ep. 15
Even though the Raiders have Amo’s boots, Zodyl, their leader, doesn’t have a damn clue who she is. He’s only here to try and recruit Rudo. He wants to harness the protagonist’s rage against Sphere. So I was right about episode 13’s ending being a red herring. Someone else snatched her, then Jabber swooped in afterwards to steal the boots. We essentially have a third party that is up to no good. I still think she’s alive, because how much more are you going to put the poor girl through?
The confrontation between Rudo and Zodyl is sorta interesting. Unfortunately, Gachiakuta does the classic shounen move of splitting everyone up, so we can have a bunch of 1v1 fights. Sure, the anime is self-aware; it knows what it’s doing. But that doesn’t make it any better. I don’t like this trope. I hate it precisely because it’s going to drag the pacing into the dirt, and now this entire arc is going to take weeks if not a month or two to resolve itself. It’s just gonna be a bunch of battles between side characters I don’t give a shit about. They might even throw in a sad backstory or two right before someone goes down. All of a sudden, the story wants me to cry over some jackass I just met.
Anyway, do we really need a Zanka vs Jabber round two? Plus, they stopped dubbing this show! I don’t wanna have to read the subs while sitting through all these boring fights! That’s pure torture! I’m sure the dub will probably be back soon, but that’s two weeks now where I’ve had to actually pay close attention to this anime and, ugh, read.
Everything else about everything else:
- I’m dropping A Mangaka’s Weirdly Wonderful Workplace. Basically, it’s just another “cute girls doing cute things” show, and I’m not down with that. I would also drop a show if it only had dudes in the cast except for one token female character. No mono-gender anime for me.
- The one silver lining about watching that gacha anime is that it’s on Hidive. Their video player lets me increase the playback speed up to 3x. That’s actually a little too fast for me, but 2x works perfectly. It’s really useful for watching trash anime, especially dubbed ones. I’m currently blasting through a bunch of really boring shows from previous seasons.
- I also recently got the platinum trophy for Trails in the Sky 1st, so I finally started up Ghost of Yotei. I try to limit myself to one or two open world games a year. I previously played Death Stranding 2 a few months back, so I’m not completely burnt out on open world games yet. So far, Yotei‘s first five hours aren’t as compelling as Tsushima‘s mostly because I haven’t found a companion quest yet.
- According to WordPress, I’ve used up 93% of my storage space. Man, I’m gonna have to figure something out that isn’t too costly.
