So there’s no real mystery with Ono. Puberty simply kicked in, and as a result, she feared what that sick headmaster might do to her in this weird, twisted world that they inhabit. Fair enough. I can understand her actions from that perspective. Nevertheless, I’ve got some… conflicting thoughts about these revelations. First, this rather seems anticlimactic. I’m sorry, but that’s just how I feel. No weird conspiracy. No bizarre kidnapping. She didn’t get sent to that dark and scary place. Y’know, the punishment Oshibu had threatened Amaya with back in the second episode. Nah, the reality is that she simply went through puberty, so she ran away because this society has an unhealthy relationship with youthfulness and aging.

Second, she’s still a kid! I know this is a weird, twisted world where youthfulness is idolized and young kids are coddled to an extreme degree, but puberty doesn’t make you an adult! You can still treat her normally! Getting your period doesn’t make you an adult! Undergoing certain changes to your body doesn’t make you an adult! A girl having developing breasts doesn’t make her a woman! You’re still a child legally and spiritually! Only weirdo ass creepers would even dare to think otherwise! Hell, I look at people in their early twenties and still think of them kids. What? You think being able to legally drink makes you a grown-up in my eyes? Pfft.

Anyway, there’s definitely something serious brewing between Ono and Fuyumura, but most of it is currently on Ono’s end. The jury’s still out on Fuyumura. After all, she might have conflicting feelings about Santa. Shrug, sexuality is fluid for a lot of people, and having never seen an adult body in the flesh before, who can really say what Fuyumura really desires? Maybe she desires both. Hey, lots of people do. Either way, it gets even more complicated when we find out that our boy Sanda already has a fiancee, but this revelation shouldn’t be surprising. You don’t exactly need a dystopian society to have arranged marriages. That practice is still alive and well in today’s Japan. Maybe it’s not as prevalent as it used to be, but I think roughly 15% of marriages still results from an omiai.

Let’s briefly consider Sanda and his fiancee for a moment. Does Sanda and his fiancee Niko have any chemistry? Her opinion of Sanda flips on a dime just because he followed her out into the storm, but can we really take her seriously? I can’t say, since this is the first time I’ve ever seen them interact with one another. We don’t know her all that well other than that she wants to go wild while she still can. Everyone in this show has a distinct fear of growing old, and she’s no different. Still, considering his alter ego, this “relationship” can’t really continue. He has a hard time breaking up with her, though. Eh, just send her an email. I mean, you’re not close to begin with so who cares?

Anyway, Fuyumura confronts Niko and tells the latter to stay away from Sanda. But she’s not actually interested in Sanda like that. She simply doesn’t want him to have any distraction as long as he’s helping her with the whole Ono situation. Nevertheless, her phrasing is a bit suspect, so it understandably leads to a misunderstanding between the two girls. Fuyumura has never been quite sure about her identity, since she obviously doesn’t have the sort of feminine body that society idealizes. The tall and angular girl has only ever felt normal around Ono, and Niko pestering her about Sanda is allowing those body image anxieties to creep in again. It’s only when she’s at her lowest does Ono finally show up.

Their relationship is interesting, because as much as Fuyumura’s body confuses her, it’s also something that Ono desperately covets. In a world where kids are unhealthily treasured, growing up can only mean death. After all, Oshibe does everything he can to deny his actual age. We even learn that Yagiuda will be punished with “old age” should he fail to capture Santa. This world creates a strict binary between the young and the old, and this somehow leads to Ono desiring a body that not only defies the young-old binary, but the male-female binary as well. But her complicated feelings for Fuyumura doesn’t exactly resemble a healthy form of love. For the moment, Ono seems to care more about what Fuyumura and her body represent than the actual person beneath the facade. So for now, I can’t really root for this relationship. Ono’s got deep issues she needs to work out.

Well, she won’t really have a chance to do that, because Oshibe suddenly jump scares both the girls and the audience. Yep, that’s our cliffhanger. So let’s talk about the B-plot.

Yaguida somehow worms his way into becoming a teacher. Oshibe obviously had a hand in this. We’re even treated to a scene where he threatens to implant his decrepit heart into Yaguida’s body should the latter fail to capture Santa before the typhoon is over. Weird and gross. Weird because growing old should be a noble and respected thing. People always talk about how we should age gracefully. I’m getting some grey hairs in my thirties, but I don’t mind it one bit. But I suppose as Japan’s population curve continues to shift ever so slowly to the right, more and more people will unfortunately adopt the perspective that old people are nothing more than a burden on the system.

Obviously, Yagiuda as a teacher is going to call Sanda out in order for him and Santa to duke it out. But why do it solo? Why isn’t he calling his team in to back him up? So he can get all the credit? I dunno, man, if failure means getting some creepy dude’s heart transplanted into my body, I wouldn’t risk fighting a seemingly immortal mythical figure mano a mano. Unfortunately, Santa quickly reverts back to Sanda after eating a single punch. I assume the kid’s doubts about his identity are holding him back. Logically, he knows that he needs to be Santa in order to fight against this world’s injustice and thus protect all the kids. Mentally, however, he just wants to be an innocent kid again, and can you blame him? Up until recently, that’s literally who he was.

All of a sudden, Yagiuda is now hanging with the boys and being all chummy, because eliminating a kid isn’t his mission. In fact, it’s an anathema. It’s funny how quickly foes can be come friends with a flip of a coin, especially when you remember that he’ll immediately be at Santa‘s throat again should Sanda ever resolve his issues.

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Stray thoughts & observations:

• Huh, two shows this week featuring a typhoon. What an odd coincidence.
• Rumor says Santa will die if he falls in love with a kid. Uh, how does such a rumor even start? And why are we talking about an adult loving a minor? Santa’s not allowed to even have those thoughts. Let’s keep it that way. Granted, Santa’s alter ego is a teen boy, but still, I really hope this story doesn’t go there. Sadly, the show’s OP doesn’t give me much hope. I think Sanda is just going to have to suck it up and embrace his Santa persona. The only other option is for Santa to go away, and personally, I’m fine with that as well. I never grew up believing in Santa Claus, and I don’t think my childhood was any less fun. But I also don’t think that’s a route the story is going to take, so the only alternative is to make Sanda celibate.
• Bro, finding a job anywhere is next to impossible these days. And these CEOs are just salivating at the thought of replacing more people with robots. I know technological advancements have always disrupted the workforce, but it doesn’t feel like those at the top give two shits about giving us a safety net when the ground inevitably crumbles beneath our feet.
• Not a ramen bar, but a cup ramen bar. How sad is that. Sheesh, that’s like going to a spamhouse instead of a steakhouse.
• Does more marriages actually lead to a higher birth rate? Or are the same things driving down marriages also driving down the birth rate? Something to think about.
• I feel like a lot of people were forced to make their marriages work, and as a result, people were forced to convince themselves that they were happy in those marriages. Yes, as it currently stands, society needs people to have more babies. But maybe we have society configured incorrectly. Maybe we shouldn’t expect continuous and endless growth on a limited planet. But this is a whole ‘nother can of worms. I don’t really want to get into a debate about how society should be built.
• Niko seems to wear a cat-like grin at all times.
• Huh, so it was Niko who lied about Ono being dead. She claims to have lied simply to get the meeting over with, but can we really take anything she says at face value? Again, I feel like in order to lie, you need to also know the truth. Simply yelling out something that could possibly be wrong shouldn’t really count as lying. So what does Niko actually know?
• I understand that a show about teens going through puberty will naturally talk about how they perceive their own bodies. This is something every kid has to go through, including myself back in the day. Nevertheless, watching this scene does make me uncomfortable.
• Likewise, teens are going to explore their sexuality and have certain sordid fantasies, but boy is it also uncomfortable to watch.
• What? Vaccines and an “advanced diet” have led to kids not needing to sleep? Brother, what are you even talking about?
• Yo, boobs don’t grow that fast, but maybe we can blame it on the vaccines again. Just don’t tell RFK Jr about this show. That weirdo doesn’t need more crazy ideas floating around in that worm-ridden head of his.