Bro, that is just patently untrue.

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My Status as an Assassin Obviously Exceeds the Hero’s Ep. 6

I think a show needs compelling villains just as much as it needs heroes worth rooting for. Either the villain is someone with a great motivation to be evil, or it’s someone you can’t help but love to hate. Oh yeah, it helps if they have a great character design. So, y’know, it’s hard to get hyped when the bad guy is a little kid in boy shorts. Hm, yes, very demonic. Then his “master” shows up and it’s just another nerd you wanna bully. Yeah, I can’t take this story seriously.

Plus, this show’s storytelling leaves a lot to be desired. Just so much yapping between the beastgirl’s backstory to history about the demon lord. I’m glad every dungeon is big enough to fit all this exposition in.

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Campfire Cooking in Another World with My Absurd Skill S2 Ep. 6

Mukoda comes across a pair of kids putting themselves in danger, because they’re desperately trying to earn enough money to save their ailing mother. Not only does he feed them, he eventually lends a hand by giving the children a magical cure-all elixir. This is the probably the most I’ve ever paid attention to this anime outside of the food. It’s a simple story, but it is a story. Usually, episodes of this anime is just Mukoda wandering aimlessly with his familiars, doing whatever he feels like doing. Having a little direction is nice. I was almost afraid they wouldn’t actually show us the mother recovering from her illness. After all, Mukoda and his familiars kept yapping about desserts.

Apparently, Mukoda’s newly acquired skill from dungeoning is the ability to buy pastries. It’s such a chefy thing. Oh, I can cook everything, but don’t ask me to make dessert or bake! I dunno how many times I’ve eaten a great dinner at restaurants only to be let down by the dessert (usually some uninspired tart). Maybe what Mukoda ultimately needs is to meet someone who can be his pastry chef.

Anyway, time for the food. First up is a teriyaki cockatrice tsukimi burger. Not sure what makes it a “moon-watching” burger. More importantly, I feel like burgers require a ground patty. Otherwise, it’s just a sandwich. But I learned today that other countries think of burgers in terms of the bread, i.e. round buns = burger. Huh. If I slapped peanut butter and jelly between two buns, would that make it a peanut butter and jelly burger? But hey, it ultimately doesn’t matter. A rose by any other name, right? Plus, a teriyaki chicken sandwich sounds pretty damn good right now. I dunno about the cheese, though. Cheddar and teriyaki…? Yeah, I guess I gotta try it first, but in my head, it feels like they would clash. Maybe it’s a really mild cheddar.

As for the soup, this is the first time I’ve seen anyone make one out of soy milk. I’ve literally never seen such a thing before. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone cook with soy milk. Well, the more you learn…

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Yano-kun’s Ordinary Days Ep. 7

So they confessed to each other, but they haven’t officially started going out. Sigh, these fucking idiots. Chiyoko proceeds to take relationship advice from an elementary school kid. I thought she was supposed to be smart. So once again, she and Yano-kun shake on it. Stop shaking hands! Just hang out! You don’t have to overthink it! Spend time together and hang out!

The two idiots then go to the movies and have a good time. Yano-kun doesn’t even hurt himself… too badly (he does give himself a paper cut just getting his movie ticket out of his shirt pocket).

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Kakuriyo -Bed & Breakfast for Spirits- Season 2 Ep. 6

Lots of lousy Odanna backstory in this one. I hate it when anime characters get all dramatic and say shit like, “Oh, if you only knew my true self, you would hate me.” But the “true self” is nothing worth writing home about. Basically, he belongs to a race that everyone hates, so people are prejudiced against him even though he has personally done nothing wrong. Yawn.

Ginji also has a moment with Aoi, but it feels pointless because she seems pretty locked into the Odanna romance route.

Anyway, we get sushi and a wasabi don. I’m a boring nigiri-only guy, so those rolls don’t excite me. I’d like to try the latter, but I’ve never seen it on any of the menus around here. I also doubt any Japanese restaurant in San Francisco that serves donburi would also carry real wasabi. I’m not trying to trash them, but low end places aren’t exactly going to spring for the good stuff. I guess I could buy wasabi and make the dish myself, but meh, I can’t see myself using up all the wasabi before it spoils.

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Hero Without a Class: Who Even Needs Skills?! Ep. 7

According to Reiner, three years have somehow passed, but none of the characters look any older. What’s the point of a timeskip if nothing changes? Well, that’s not entirely accurate. One thing has changed: Arel once again leaves without saying his goodbyes. HIs mom calls him a free spirit, but judging by his single-minded obsession with getting stronger and his deadpan personality, I think our boy might be a bit neurodivergent.

Anyway, Arel is off to the city of magic, and it’s the same ol’ schtick again… mostly. Mages are apparently less discriminatory so our hero is allowed to join any magical school he wants. Y’see, most people are confined to a single element. Not our overpowered MC, though! And in the process, he meets a cast of kooky characters. I’m not sure how I feel about three of them being children, though. Plus, are we really gonna leave Reiner and Lilia behind for good? They voiced by talented voice actresses, so it just feels like a waste if both characters sit this arc out. Most of all, quality over quantity. You haven’t even given me two good supporting characters yet, but you’re already going to put them on the shelf in order to introduce a bunch more? Meh, I guess we’ll see. Reiner has already followed him once, so why not twice? Not sure what business she would have in a city full of mages, though.

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Dusk Beyond the End of the World Ep. 6

It’s the second time this week where a woman breaks the straps on a geta, which then necessitates the man to come up with a quick fix. Weird. Funny how they’re so flimsy in anime. Anyway, a good chunk of the episode is all about Akira and Yugure’s date. I’m happy that I stopped taking this show seriously. I can’t imagine trying to write up several paragraphs about their romance. Plus, I don’t like the idea of Akira going on a date with Yugure if he’s so insistent on not marrying the android. I know it was her idea, but you still don’t wanna string her along and give her false hopes.

Afterwards, four-eyes — see, i can’t even remember his name anymore — joins the trio in order to help them find useful books in a library. Ho hum. Again, I’m glad I threw in the towel. This show isn’t worth the effort.

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Pass the Monster Meat, Milady! Ep. 6

In this week’s episode, they dice up a rather ugly fish into nuggets, which are then battered and deep fried. The ugly part doesn’t matter. Have you seen monkfish? Those are ugly as sin too, but they taste pretty good. Anyway, Melphie’s dish sounds alright as a base for a good meal, but it feels incomplete. Personally, I need more veggies. No, the lettuce wraps don’t count. Lettuce is pretty much nothing. It’s a nice, refreshing conveyance for food and that’s it. Just the fish nuggets alone seem so dry. Could’ve added some slaw or relish. Or maybe something like tartar sauce. I just can’t imagine eating deep fried fish nuggets wrapped in lettuce alone. There needs to be a third component. A spritz of lime juice doesn’t count.

I’m also surprised that Melphie has Astride nuke the fish head. Why wouldn’t it be edible? You can usually make soup out of fish heads along with the rest of the bones, can’t you? As for the organs, sure, I wouldn’t eat them, but they would make decent fertilizer. This is, of course, assuming that once you’ve drained the monster meat of the toxic magic, it is no different from any other meat we consume. I mean, the anime hasn’t told me otherwise. I’m nitpicking because our heroine claims she doesn’t waste any part of a monster’s life so… yeah.

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My Gift Lvl 9999 Unlimited Gacha Ep. 6

Sigh, just as a I thought, Kyto goes after the kids and butchers two of them. Only the siblings get to survive but they’re going to be traumatized to hell and back. In true anime fashion, the racist elf even plans to rape Miya. Luckily, she manages to escape. I guess there are some lines even this anime won’t cross. Still, this is the exact problem I was talking about last week. What’s the goal of this mini arc we have on our hands? To eventually torture Kyto, of course. That’s what the writer really wants. But you can’t just outright torture somebody. That makes you evil! So you need to somehow justify it. You need to make the elf just as heinous as his punishment. So what do we do? We create a scenario in which we kill kids. We create a scenario in which we threaten to rape a child. All this in order to justify whatever happens next. That’s right, we don’t even know what’s in store for Kyto. Somehow, all this nastiness can’t be contained in a single episode. We’re going to have to wait till next week for the anime to get this brutish plot over and done with. Hey man, torture takes time. You can’t rush it!

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A Wild Last Boss Appeared! Ep. 7

For some reason, Lufas is having dreams about his avatar’s past. That’s right, even though he created this character, it somehow has a villain origin story that he never had a hand in penning. Well, this mystery is the only thing about this show that is remotely interesting. Everything else is still pretty bland.

In this week’s episode, the gang makes a pitstop at a city gripped by a race war. Honestly, it’s just a bunch of world-building that I’ll quickly forget before the day’s over. Also, Lufas once again holds out hope that one of the seven legendary heroes will be another player like him. Keep dreaming, buddy. Last but not least, a goatman tries to lure our sheep boy away from the party.

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My Friend’s Little Sister Has It In for Me! Ep. 6

Mashiro is initially prejudiced against Iroha, because the gyaru looks like all of the girls who used to bully her. But when Iroha goes to bat for her, she realizes she shouldn’t judge people by their looks. They quickly become friends. The end. Huh? You say they’re supposed to be fighting over the main character? Eh, let’s just pretend he doesn’t exist.

But in all seriousness, Mashiro’s bullying backstory is nothing we haven’t seen before. Iroha defending her felt equally trite and obligatory. If you’re going to do the overused bullying scenario, you gotta come up with something new. This shit has been done to death.

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The Banished Court Magician Aims to Become the Strongest Ep. 6

In the first half, Yorha takes Alec on a tour of the city. It’s kind of like a date, but unfortunately, he’s your typical dense anime protagonist so nothing comes of it. Besides, Yorha is silly to expect anything romantic from a friend who just came back into her life. At least spend some more time together before you expect a kiss. I just think it’s stupid how the dense character never notices the other party puckering up. Like how blind are you?

In the second half, a bunch of injured adventurers return from the field. Apparently, they were betrayed and attacked by other humans. A boy suddenly shows up outta nowhere and has a proposition for Alec. Hm, I wonder if he is the aforementioned traitor…

All in all, a pretty lowkey setup episode for the next major story beat.

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Hands off: Sawaranaide Kotesashi-kun Ep. 6

Oh hey, it’s the “Damn, bitch, you live like this?” meme. Anyway, table tennis girl hasn’t been doing so well, because she often stays up late to game. Sounds like my people. Like always, the MC has to touch these girls, and the solution this time is to massage her armpits. Like with feet, I don’t really understand the appeal of armpits. But I guess that’s why they call it a fetish. Some people’s brains are just wired to be sexually aroused by… armpits. Shrug.

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Alma-chan Wants to Be a Family! Ep. 6

Again, we get three short stories. I can’t say I liked any of them. For instance, the first one has Alma trying on her backup bodies, one of them being a JK-type. So of course, anime has to make the obligatory boob joke. Haha, my child has large breasts now. So funny. In the third short story, Suzume falls ill, so Alma becomes a worrywort and asks everyone around her for advice. Toko is also sick, and well, Machina gets a little too gungho about one of the home remedies. Again, just weird. I don’t want these raunchy jokes in a show that’s supposed to be wholesome. I was watching people play Dispatch the other day, and they got to the part where Invisigal just peppers Robert with nonstop lewd jokes and references. If Dispatch had been an anime, the writers probably would’ve made Invisigal like fourteen or some shit. Robert would strangely be the same age.

Oh yeah, Alma also befriends an arms manufacturer. I’m sorry, but you can’t make Lockheed Martin moe.

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Dad is a hero, Mom is a spirit, I’m a reincarnator Ep. 6

So the former king tortured spirits in order to try and force the Spirit Queen to serve him. As a result, he got himself cursed. Said curse should’ve died with him, but because the tortured spirits had nowhere else to go, they continued to cling to the royal family. I dunno, sounds like a massive oversight on the Spirit Queen’s part. Letting the curse affect innocent children seems pretty fucked to me. Sure, I get it, humans have not shown proper contrition, they only give a token prayer to the spirits once a year, blah blah blah. But you’re also letting those tortured spirits suffer for eternity just because some jerks (and children who don’t know any better) won’t or can’t properly say they’re sorry. It doesn’t make sense.

I often hear people say, “You should forgive. Not for them, but for you!” I don’t buy into that philosophy. Personally, I think it’s bullcrap. You can totally move on without having to forgive anyone. But that’s the thing, isn’t it? At some point, you do need to move on for your own sake. It’s the same thing here. The spirits don’t have to forgive the royal family, but there’s also no point in holding onto all that hurt and resentment. It’s not doing anyone any good. Anyway, I’m not a big fan of Ellen, ’cause she’s your typical busybody anime MC who has to stick her nose into everything. But she’ll probably disobey her mother’s orders just to help the tortured spirits (and in turn, also help the royal family), and I don’t think she would be wrong for doing so.

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Mechanical Marie Ep. 6

In the first half of the episode, we get the cliche scenario where Arthur hates his birthday, so Marie tries to give him fond memories of it going forward. She tries to bake him a cake, but she fails terribly. What kind of robot can’t follow instructions and bake a cake? But it doesn’t really matter, because what Arthur really wants is to switch things up: for one night, he’s the help and she’s the master. Yo, don’t involve me in your weird roleplay sessions. But seriously, I still can’t root for this pairing, because Arthur’s so stupid. The battery gag was funny the first time, but now it’s just sad.

In the second half of the episode, Marie gets captured by a club full of rapey clankers, so Arthur has to save her. Meh.

Pretty weak episode even by Mechanical Marie‘s standard. It felt like no progress was made whatsoever.

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Li’l Miss Vampire Can’t Suck Right Ep. 5

Apparently, the reason why Luna can only suck Otori’s blood for now is because it hurts too much for everyone else. But it’s different for Otori. He finds it soothing. Again, he mostly sees himself as her parental figure. Even others, like the obaachan in the screenshot above, feel the same way. Luna clearly sees him differently, though. She’s definitely interested in him. At some point, something’s gotta give.

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Tougen Anki Ep. 17

In the first half of the episode, Mudano fights a Momotaro, but he looks bored the entire time. Nah, I feel him. This shit is boring.

In the second half of the episode, we get Kougasaki’s sob story. Basically, his dad is a Momotaro, and when he found out that his entire family were Onis, he decided to murder them all. Like with every other conflict in this anime, this shit is so pathetically one-sided. Just another Momotaro being dogmatically evil. They literally can’t think for themselves. Derpy derp derp, the woman I married, impregnated, and lived happily with for years was really an Oni all along. Guess she’s evil too! At this point, the Momotaros are both equally dumb and evil enough for the Onis to justify genociding them. But ah, you can’t think like that! You gotta treat these one-dimensional villains like they’re people or else you’re just as bad as them! Ho ho ho, what a moral quandary!

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Gachiakuta Ep. 18

Oh man, Riyo just Indiana Jones’d her opponent. I appreciate the fact that a former assassin wouldn’t bother to fight with honor. The fisticuffs prior to this was fine, but y’know me, I’m not really interested in shounen battles. What’s more fascinating to me is how earlier scenes between Riyo and Rudo have been recontextualized. So she was pretending to be asleep in the car that one time with Rudo? She was creepily scoping him out right from the very beginning? And she snuck into his room that one night and just stood there… doing what? Soaking in the atmosphere?

Does Rudo simply attract crazy girls? Or has she lost a family member and he reminds her of that person? Oh well, this is a shounen, so we’ll only get her backstory when she’s about to die. Too bad crazy hair lady — I think the raiders called her Noerde? — couldn’t be a bullet. What a loser.

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Everything else about everything else:

• Well, I finally beat Dragon Quest I HD-2D. It was a struggle. Y’see, there are no party members. You’re all by yourself, so it’s an incredibly lonely affair. Gameplay-wise, there simply isn’t much you can do in terms of tactics when you only have a single character. Technically, once you save the princess, you can keep her with you. Bizarrely enough, you literally princess carry her everywhere. Gwaelin adds a bit more flavor dialogue to various cutscenes, which helps. Still, they should’ve given her a bigger role. She should’ve been an optional second party member just to spice things up. The original Dragon Quest (or Dragon Warrior as it was known here) wasn’t a very complex game either, but at least you could beat it in a few hours. It took me roughly twelve hours to get through the remake. The story and gameplay just aren’t interesting enough to stretch the game out that long.
• Naturally, I’m onto Dragon Quest II HD-2D, and it’s obvious that the devs spent way more time on it than its prequel. This time around, they let the Princess of Cannock join the fun, so the decision to keep Gwaelin an NPC is even more baffling. Anyway, my only problem with the sequel is that the encounter rate is obscene. At times, I’ll run into a battle every two seconds. Yeah, yeah, I can cast Holy Protection, but it doesn’t work if the enemies aren’t weaker than me.
• I’m kinda intrigued by Inazuma Eleven: Victory Road. I might get that next once I’m done with Dragon Quest II HD-2D. It can hold me over until Octopath Traveler 0 comes out.
• My friend and I started playing Diablo IV. She loves it, I hate it. It’s so brown and grey. But everyone bitched about Diablo III being too cartoony, right? Tch. Anyway, the story bores me to tears.
• The State of Play Japan will be done and over with by the time this post goes up. Still, I wonder if any major titles will be announced. People are hoping for glimpses of FFVII Remake Part III, but I would kill for anything from Atlus. Doesn’t need to be Persona 6. I’ll take a Digital Devil Saga remaster too.