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Wash It All Away Ep. 3
Oh no, Wakana’s store is closed for the day. What should we do? Well, maybe she just needs a day off. We should just check back tomorrow. But what if she’s dead?! Well, that might be too extreme. Fine, what if she needs medical assistance?! Whoa, that sounds serious! Should we call the police and voice our concerns? Nah, let’s not do that either. Obviously, the correct answer — the Goldilocks option — is to have some random teenager precariously climb a tree and risk breaking his neck in order to sneak in through Wakana’s bedroom window! It’s fine, it’s fine! Said kid now gets to see a grown woman in her negligee! Consider that payment for services rendered! Are you ladies happy now?
Can you believe they wasted half of the episode on that incident? Well, this is a true slice-of-life anime after all. Then in the second half, we get to watch Wakana hand out fliers. She will literally ring your doorbell just to get you to drop your dirty clothes off at her store. Ah yes, the personal touch of a local business.
Ahem, please respect the sign. In the process of handing out fliers, however, Wakana also returns the special fishing banner that only she can clean. Alas, I have my own laundry machine, so no sexy, amnesiac onee-san for me. What a pity. Well, I’m not a teen boy, so I’m too old for her anyway.
Only at the very end of the episode do we catch a glimpse of Wakana’s forgotten and apparently painful past. Three whole episodes, and all we get is one teeny, tiny, contextless morsel. Bruh.
As an aside, Wakana is played by Sayumi Suzushiro, who has four other major roles this season. Four! Emphasis on the “major,” too. She’s really putting in the work. I don’t particularly like this show, but her performance isn’t the issue. Plus, you gotta respect the hustle. I hope her vocal cords are okay.
You Can’t Be In a Rom-Com with Your Childhood Friends! Ep. 3
I always hate it when male anime characters freak out over girls pressing their chests up against them. Some stupid squishy sound effect always has to play in the background, too. Just in case you didn’t know that boobies are boobing all over the place. These characters then proceed to act as though they’re feeling those breasts straight up. Bro, they’re under multiple layers of clothing. Who gets bricked up over this? Apparently, we all pathetic hornballs who can’t handle something as basic as a hug.
Anyway, I said I would drop this show after giving it three episodes, and I’m going to keep my promise. This week’s offering epitomizes everything I hate about these shows. For once, Eiyu thinks he’s in a “romcom” with his two childhood friends. Unfortunately, he overhears an embarrassed Shio lying to Akari about her feelings. Rather than admit that she likes Eiyu, she tells her rival that she’s just teasing the guy. Ah, what a classic misunderstanding. A similar situation occurs in You and I Are Polar Opposites, but what does Suzuki do instead? She chases after her crush and confesses to him. No such thing happens here. So why watch the inferior “romcom?” It’s neither romantic nor funny.
There was a Cute Girl in the Hero’s Party, so I Tried Confessing to Her Ep. 3
At one point, the mage (I think her name might be Mikana but I’m not positive), Raven, and Yoki sit down to have a chat. The way she talks about Yuga, he sounds like a real shit head. Dude constantly walks in on them while bathing, so he’s a sexual predator. Nevertheless, she’s still in love with him. If the anime wanted to impress me, Yoki should’ve talked her out of it. Real bros prevent their friends from dating losers, right? But no such luck here. Instead, he simply tells her to have a talk with Cecilia. After all, the mage was the one who convinced the party to leave their priestess behind in the first episode when Yoki made his offer. Sure, rekindling a friendship is better than nothing. But she’s still doomed if she somehow manages to hook up with Yuga.
Tune In to the Midnight Heart Ep. 3
“Kowtow?” That’s the word you going with? Tsk, tsk, Crunchyroll. Also, this happens because Yamabuki walked in on them changing. Afterwards, Himekawa says, “He pretty much saw me in my birthday avatar.” Huh? Does she mean “birthday suit?” Ugh, whatever. After all, the story is the real cringe. The girls tail Yamabuki in hopes of catching him in an embarrassing situation. For some reason, Nene keeps hoping that he’ll be watching porn or whatever. But instead, he’s simply working at his part-time job. The cringe part, however, is when Yamabuki’s manager/boss starts peppering the kid questions — the exact questions where the answers would paint the latter in a good light. Rich, but still knows the value of hard work! Not content to get a free ride from his loaded daddy! Devoted to the club! Believes in the girls and their potential! Holy fucking contrived, dude. I thought at one point, Yamabuki would turn to the girls an say, “Hey, I know you guys are there.” But nope, he didn’t.
Anyway, the girl problem of the week is that Kirino’s view count isn’t growing. At first, Yamabuki updates her Live2D model, but it doesn’t solve the problem because she herself is unexpressive. So during a livestream, he deliberately makes her mad, which allows viewers to see her “real” side. I dunno, man. I know the people who get into vtubers, and I feel like a vocal minority would throw a shitfit over a random male’s voice suddenly showing up in their oshi’s stream.
The Case Book of Arne Ep. 3
This show wildly oscillates between being childishly silly and strangely dark. Anyway, Lynn seems to give up on protecting the family name as well as the servants when she realizes that none of them mourn her father’s death. Yeah, she should contact the police. At the same time, however, her father sucked so I’m not surprised that nobody care. Gordon literally just told her that he was prostituting his maids. I know you usually don’t lose your love for your parents in an instant, but I feel like this is one of those instants.
The Demon King’s Daughter is Too Kind!! Ep. 3 & 4
Yeah, I’m not going to keep writing about this show, ’cause it’s just a little kid being silly. There’s little to talk about even if there’s much to enjoy. I’ll just watch it on my own. After all, we’re 4 for 4 on musical numbers.
Jack-of-All-Trades, Party of None Ep. 3
This feels like RPGs for babies. Thanks to a recently published article, everyone now knows that the Hero’s Party had banished Orhun rather than him leaving on his own accord. As a result, one of the kids that he has to babysit now doubts his capabilities. Orhun quickly impresses the kid, however, by simply casting an Agility Down spell. Apparently, this seemingly simple debuff is considered an advanced spell. Even top tier enchanters like Selma seldomly use debuffs. In this universe where people never multi-class — where people never considered assigning party roles until Selma came along — debuffs are a rarity. It’s just odd. The kid is impressed again when Orhun reminds him to maintain proper positioning, i.e. a support class shouldn’t be up in the front lines where the mobs can hit him. I don’t get it. You don’t need advanced RPG tactics to know that. This is just common sense. But if we really have to start from square one, I can’t really see future conflicts being very interesting. If they think this shit is advanced, any superboss from your average JRPG would probably fry their brains. May I introduce you to Absolute Virtue from Final Fantasy XI?
Okay, okay, the show doesn’t need to have challenging boss fights to be good. In fact, it should focus on delivering strong characters. Unfortunately, Orhun’s self-doubt is wearing thin. It doesn’t help that we’ve seen plenty of low self-esteem characters like him in recent “banished from the hero’s party” shows. This is an overused, tired tropes for people who desperately fish for compliments. As for the others, Selma was barely in this episode. Her sister Sophia hasn’t done much either. It’s just underwhelming all around.
Easygoing Territory Defense by the Optimistic Lord Ep. 2
When Van and his party first arrive, they find his village under attack. At the beginning, everyone was like, “No, lemme sacrifice myself for Lord Van!” But at soon as the fighting starts, the bad guys are getting knocked into the air as if we’re in a Dynasty Warrior game. All that nonsense at the start just for the ensuing battle to have no drama whatsoever.
Speaking of no drama, guess what? Van’s special talent is mega OP. Shocking, I know. Apparently, production magic is useless in other people’s hands, because it’s supposed to cost a ton of mana just to produce a single object. But this isn’t a problem for Van at all, because he’s an anime protagonist. C’mon, we can’t possibly burden the anime protagonist with weaknesses and drawbacks! As a result, he starts turning wooden logs into nano fiber cubes that are damn near indestructible.
I don’t get it. I really don’t. The whole point of this premise is to take a small, dilapidated village and build it up into something grand and majestic through hard work and ingenuity. But our hero can make anything he wants, so it’s like we’re playing the game with cheat codes enabled. Where’s that copypasta when I need it? Oh, here we go:
You cheated not only the game, but yourself. You didn’t grow. You didn’t improve. You took a shortcut and gained nothing. You experienced a hollow victory. Nothing was risked and nothing was gained. It’s sad that you don’t know the difference.
The first thing Van does is build himself and his servants a mansion to live in. Considering how the rest of the village is still living in squalor, I hope he “produces” some food, clothes, and medicine soon. If you’re going to cheat, at least cheat with a heart.
The Invisible Man and His Soon-to-Be Wife Ep. 2
At the start of the episode, Tonome takes Yako to a tea shop where you can create your own custom tea blend. That sounds like a good idea. I wonder if there’s a place near me that offers the same service. I generally prefer coffee, but maybe being able to craft my own tea blend would change that.
He later invites her to try one of those restaurants where you eat in complete darkness. There was one near me, but it closed a few years ago (probably due to covid). I don’t think I would want to try it anyway. I dunno, it just sounds gimmicky. Anyway, the couple had to take their food to go, because Tonome just now realizes that he’s actually scared of the dark due to a past trauma. Why hasn’t it come up ’til now? But credulity aside, Tonome does finally ask Yako to be his girlfriend. Still a cute show.
Roll Over and Die Ep. 2
All of the action takes place at night, so it’s already dark and difficult to see. I can’t really tell what Flum is fighting. This is the anime equivalent of the shaky cam technique. The audience can’t nitpick the animation if they can’t really see what’s going on! But even when everyone is standing still, they censor the monster. Weak.
Also, the narration is inane and completely unnecessary.
The episode more or less plays out how I expected it to. Flum surprises everyone by coming back alive. Meanwhile, her former party is already missing her presence, because no one else can apparently cook. The only part of the episode that is remotely intriguing is when the decapitated werewolf head starts speaking outta nowhere. Now why would it go and do that?
In any case, I expect Dein to attack our two girls. After all, how dare they survive?
Champignon Witch Ep. 3
Bah, the narrator is already calling Luna his beloved. I’m not interested if that’s the direction we’re taking. C’mon, he looks like a child. Alright, forget it. I tried to at least finish this episode, but my heart’s not in it. The kid is supposedly destined to become “The End of All Things” — I at least got that far — but to be honest, I’m already checked out. I have never referred to anyone as my beloved in a platonic way, so yeah…
Dark Moon: The Blood Altar Ep. 2
More pretty boys show up, and this time, they’re from a rival school. Not only that, they’re werewolves. Ugh, it’s Team Edward vs Team Jacob all over again. One of the bishies is even a half vampire, half werewolf hybrid. But there’s just one small problem: Sooha can currently kick all of their asses. Not only that, her voice alone compels them to obey. See, Bella could’ve had her own harem too if she wasn’t so weak. Instead, she had to let Jacob groom her child.
Anyway, the boys don’t want Sooha to hate them, so they make the group decision to keep their distance. Sure, sure, play hard to get. One of the boys, however, goes against the pack and makes a move. Tsk, tsk, violating the bro code.
Jokes aside, I don’t really get the appeal. One side is undead, the other side has you fucking a dog. Hard pass. Also, do you ever notice how we never ever see female werewolves?
HELL MODE: The Hardcore Gamer Dominates in Another World with Garbage Balancing Ep. 2
It’s time for the appraisal ceremony, which I always find stupid. Basically, a crystal ball lets you know whether or not you have a talent. But what if you don’t want to be a merchant? And what about the talentless kids? Are they just doomed to a life of servitude? It’s asinine. Well, Krena ends up being a Sword Lord, which explains why she’s been kicking Allen’s ass everyday. But when Allen touches the crystal ball, the text glitches out so they think he’s talentless. Welp, back to serfdom for you, boy. Sorry, just following the rules.
Allen’s father gets some praise afterwards for slaying that great boar from last week’s episode, but what does praise get you? Does it keep you warm at night? Does it put food in your belly? Nope. The nobility still keeps them destitute. So fuck the praise. I’ll never be impressed with any of these shows unless an isekai hero finally stages a revolution and upends one of these feudalistic societies. Unfortunately, they actually desire this sort of thing — to rule over others like a lord — so this will never happen.
Reincarnated as a Dragon Hatchling Ep. 2
Our dragon protagonist manages to save the girl and drag her back to a village, but the villagers attack him. I mean, he’s a mob. What do you expect them to do? After running off, the dragon grinds enough exp to evolve, but he then spends the last third of the episode just trying to figure out what to evolve into. Pretty boring stuff. By the way, does he even have a name? I can’t recall if he ever named himself. Oh well.
What is odd is how the Divine Voice actually tries to prevent our dragon protagonist from saving the girl. Welp, it sounds like we’ve got an evil goddess on our hands. Wonder why she’s so invested in the dragon’s survival and growth, though. Sadly, we won’t find out anytime soon, because that sounds like a season three or four revelation. But that’s even assuming we get that far. We probably won’t, and even if we did, history tells us I’ll probably have gone on yet another hiatus from blogging by then.
Scum of the Brave Ep. 2
This show doesn’t seem to have a plot hook. What I mean is that once the dust settles, i.e. now that they’ve defeated Lord Amber Thorn, what keeps me coming back for more? Seeing Yashiro take the girls under his wing? Eh, I don’t think that’s enough. When Yashiro cut off Amber Thorn’s arm, eldritch-like tentacles did briefly emerge. Even the bad guy was surprised by this development. So maybe there’s a mystery here to uncover? But I wouldn’t say it’s compelling. Yeah, I dunno. Next week’s episode is going to have to give me a good reason to keep going or the show gets dropped.
In the Clear Moonlit Dusk Ep. 2
These two girls actually walk up to Yoi just to ask her if she is female. Am I weird for thinking Yoi still looks feminine? Is she a frilly, girly girl like, say, Carol Olston from that tomboy anime? No, of course not. But she still exudes femininity (see, Crunchyroll, that’s how you spell the word). On the other hand, you have her father trying to play wingman without even first getting to know the guy he’s wingmanning. What if Kohaku is a shithead? What if he’s a player who’s just trying to get laid? Is her father afraid that she might end up gay, so he’s recklessly pairing her up with the first boy he sees? It’s ridiculous. Anime fathers are such letdowns. I’m reading a manga where a guy adopts a high elf, and I swear, if I get Usagi Drop‘d one more time…
Anyway, I don’t find this pairing all that charming, because 1) Kohaku’s way too aggressive, 2) he’s mostly drawn to her looks and barely knows her, and finally, 3) she’s only befuddled because no one has ever treated her like this before. In other words, it could’ve been anybody. So far, this doesn’t have the foundation of a healthy relationship.
Also, both kids sleep together in the same bed in the nurse’s office, but not once did an adult drop by? Who’s running this joint?
Kunon the Sorcerer Can See Ep. 4
Early in the episode, Kunon is reminded that he needs to tread carefully, because he might find himself embroiled in a battle of succession. But it’s never that serious. All we do in this week’s episode is goof off. He turns his shoes into ice skates, he creates a cat and a trampoline out of water, he scares a maid half to death by having a water doll fly past a window, so on and so forth. Nothing interesting ever happens. Well, this is already the fourth episode. Maybe it’s time to call it quits.
Hana-Kimi Ep. 4
Fellas, is it gay to be considerate of your roommate? But seriously, girl, that’s not the problem. The problem is that you’re even here in the first place. Again, if a guy flew to another country, snuck into a girl’s only school, started following his “favorite” athlete around, and randomly clinging to her, he’d be arrested. But this isn’t an anime only problem. Invisigal is the popular romantic option in Dispatch, but could you imagine a guy having a wet dream about his coworker, then following her into the women’s restroom the next day just to tell her about his fantasies? He’d be the most hated person in the game. But make the character an alt girl, and now she’s the fave.
I guess Mizuki’s actions fit right in with the rest of the cast, ’cause everyone here is a creep. Like the wildly inappropriate school nurse. Or this guy who picks Mizuki up against her wishes and even spanks her. Does it matter that he doesn’t realize she’s a girl? Of course not. I can’t help but wonder if these mangakas are touch-starved, so they think any contact is hot and exciting even if it’s unwanted.
As for the plot, uh, Mizuki tries to encourage Sano when a jerkass rival shows up and starts talking shit. Sano inadvertently gets drunk at a hot pot party, and plants a kiss on Mizuki. Welp, there you go, underaged drinking and stalking pay off once again.
Kaya-chan Isn’t Scary Ep. 2
I guess this episode is all about how appearances can be deceiving. Not all ojisans are evil even if they look and act extremely suspicious. And sometimes, your parents are literally not your parents. If the ghost hadn’t stupidly walked Kaya past the front entrance of the school, it probably would’ve succeeded in spiriting her away. She can exorcise evil spirits with a single punch, but she’s still just a kid. They hammer that home pretty hard in the first third of the episode. She gets rid of the ghost, but she doesn’t understand why the body is still staring at them from the window. In other words, she doesn’t understand death and suicide, and why would she?
One thing puzzles me, though. In the second half of the episode, we know that an evil spirit has been spiriting the children away. But we also learn that some of the kids will show up back home. How come?
The funny thing is, real life feels a lot scarier than all this talk about ghosts and spirits. Nothing in this episode really gives me the creeps. On the other hand, if a kid disappears in real life, I’m inclined to think there’s a killer in the area. Either that or they got trafficked.
Noble Reincarnation: Born Blessed, So I’ll Obtain Ultimate Power Ep. 3
*snort*
They keep showing us Noah’s stat screen full of F’s, but he already feels unstoppable. I mean, if this is what he can do with low stats, I’d hate to see what it’s like when he eventually upgrades them to SSS or whatever. Is he going to start blowing up galaxies? My interest in this show is draining and draining fast. Just another overpowered boy romping through life without having to break a sweat. Do the blu-rays for these shows actually sell? Does this tripe actually convince people to buy and read the novel series it’s based on?
The Villainess Is Adored by the Prince of the Neighbor(ing) Kingdom Ep. 2
At one point in the episode, Akari, i.e. the heroine, expresses her disbelief at how things have turned out. After all, the game should’ve ended by now with her living happily ever after. In other words, it sounds like she has knowledge of the game’s events. Imagine, then, if this applied to every single one of them, ie. Tiararose, Akari, the two bishie princes, etc. And as such, they’re all trying to metagame their way to the top. That might actually be a fresh spin on the tired villainess genre. Sadly, I don’t think that’s happening here. Hartknights seems utterly clueless. Aquasteed is no better; he only fell for Tiararose because he saw her reading from a window. The love interests in these stories always have the most shallow reason for being in love.
Everything else about everything else:
Lately, I’ve been playing Fire Emblem Engage. I actually bought the game when it first came out. I even got the expansion pass and everything. Unfortunately, the story bored me to death. Even now, It’s still offensively dull as hell, but the gameplay is… alright. Basically, I need something to keep my mind semi-occupied while I watch anime on the side. That’s honestly the only reason why I picked it up again. I briefly considered finishing up the Zero Escape series. The last time I touched it, I got all the endings for 999: Nine Hours, Nine Persons, Nine Doors, but hadn’t started Virtue’s Last Reward. The problem with VLR, however, is that I actually have to read the story and solve the puzzles, i.e. use more than a fraction of my brain cells. Kinda hard to pay attention to an anime on the side when you gotta do all that, y’know? Meanwhile, with Fire Emblem Engage, I pretty much ignore the inane story and just do the battles. I think I just have the wrong expectations for the Fire Emblem series. A lot of Nintendo franchises are so good that I expect the Fire Emblem series to reach the same heights. But it has always been a pretty B-tier franchise. Three Houses wasn’t that good. Y’all are just horny.
My real beef with FE Engage is just how little it cares about anyone but the Divine Dragon and their inner circle. Every other tactical RPG is so concerned with how war affects everyone, from the lowliest peasant to your rank-and-file soldier. I remember liberating a castle in Tactics Ogre just for an old man to ask you, “Tell me, Wallister, are these enemies of the heirophant your enemies as well?” He’s referring to dissenters of a different race — a race that has had a long history of repressing yours. Despite the bad blood between the Wallisters and the Galgastanis, you currently share a common goal. Are they still your enemy? And that’s a fucking SNES game! Even Triangle Strategy dares to invoke utilitarianism and ask if everyone’s happiness outweighs the suffering of a small, ethnic minority. The answer is a resounding “Of course not,” but it’s still miles better than anything FE Engage is giving us! This game is just happily trotting out the most basic bitch storyline ever. Rawr, evil dragon man thing want destroy world. You good dragon man/woman thing want save world!!! And between battles, you get to rub shoulders with members of royalty from each kingdom. It’s so pathetic.
