Frieren’s been teasing an onsen since the first episode of the new season, but her sense of time is so different from ours. Her “[it] used to be here” could mean anything. Girl, be specific. Rather than “Where’s the village?” how ’bout we start with “When’s the last time you’ve been to the village?” Ten years ago? Twenty years ago? Well, in this specific case, only “over thirty years ago.” But that still means the village is long gone by human standards. But for some odd reason, Stark remembers hearing a thing or two about the legendary hidden hot spring deep within the mountains, so… all hope is not lost? I dunno, I don’t really care about hot springs. I don’t really care about seeing these characters get naked and jump into one either.

Well, after a long and arduous trek through the wilderness — one that includes slaying a three-headed hydra — the gang finally arrives at… a foot bath. Hell, Stark was freakin’ told all along it was just a foot bath. It must be nice to be so carefree. Our lives are not only so busy, they’re also incredibly regimented. Work every five weekdays of every week. Rent and other bills due at the end of every month. Responsibilities upon responsibilities upon responsibilities… I can’t possibly imagine fucking off for an entire week just to go look for a hot spring in the mountains. Stark isn’t disappointed, however, because life’s a journey for him. He wants to relive his master’s memories, and Frieren is happy to oblige. We’ve got all the time in the world, after all. Well, not all the time, but plenty enough. Our boy’s just gotta make it back to Eisen before the dwarf kicks the bucket. Other than that, he hasn’t got a care in the world.

Once the trio finally arrive at actual hot springs, Frieren decides to take a short break. This gives the kids an opportunity to hang out as a couple, but Stark isn’t particularly bright. He can’t pick up any of her obvious hints. Even when Fern directly tells him, “Pay attention to me,” he stares at her like a dullard. Bro, c’mon. I’m beginning to think he wants to be insulted, because he only jumps into action after she calls him inconsiderate. It’s just funny how he dreads her “tantrums,” because there’s no way she can physically hurt him. His imagination makes them look more like a massage than anything.

But great, we finally have a date. I bet Stark’s gonna screw it up somehow, though. The main problem is that he didn’t really intend to ask her out. He just wanted to get back at her, but she took it seriously. Stark’s just… I wouldn’t use Fern’s exact words and call him inconsiderate, ’cause that makes it sound like he’s selfish or self-centered. He’s definitely not that. But if we’re talking about romance and romance specifically, he’s just predictably dumb and inexperienced. How many girls did he know while growing up? Probably not very many. After the demons attacked his village and when Eisen took him in, he probably never spent any significant time with a girl his age until Fern came along. But you can also say the same about Fern. She does read a lot, so her expectations are probably (and perhaps wrongfully) drawn from fiction. These two kids are basically two awkward beans in a pod. Fern shouldn’t expect much from Stark, and Stark could stand to try a little harder.

So Stark does the typical thing and start asking Frieren for advice. First, he wants to know if the elf thinks Fern is mad. No…? If anything, her completely dropping and forgetting her book in Stark’s room is probably the closest you’ll ever get to her being outwardly excited. Fern “ran” off, because she’s likely mentally preparing herself for the date. Second, now that he’s locked into the date and can’t back out, Stark starts asking for suggestions for places they could visit. Frieren takes on the challenge, because she wants to prove that she’s learn a thing or two about her apprentice. As a result, she and Stark take a good look at the town they’re in, hoping to find places where Fern might like to go.

Look, I’m no casanova, but you can’t take any dating advice you’re given word for word. When someone agrees to date you, they want to date you. I know it sounds crazy, but it’s true! So what you’re doing when you just follow tips and suggestions is that you’re making them date the person behind said tips and suggestions. Your partner doesn’t want to do that! Again, they’re in this for you! But this is exactly what’s going to happen if Stark does whatever he’s told. Yes, Frieren is trying to pick out a spot that she thinks Fern might like, but she wants Stark to understand her! He needs to come up with his own ideas! But again, you wouldn’t expect someone as inexperienced as Stark to realize that. He’s going to fuck this up, and it won’t be the only time he fucks up. This is the only way he’ll learn, and Fern will have to be patient with this boy. I mean, what choice has she got? You’re not going to find other boys to date on this 10-year journey to Aureole.

Case in point, when Stark expresses his amazement at Frieren’s advice, the elf confesses that she doesn’t actually know anything about Fern. This isn’t actually true, but we get her point: most of what she knows about her apprentice actually comes from Heiter, a man who has been dead for… what, a decade now? Or nearly a decade? Either way, this is exactly what I mean. And if Stark does exactly what Frieren has told him, then he’s just piggy-backing off of that same knowledge from Heiter. Stark needs to be his own man, though. He needs to understand Fern on his own terms, and help their relationship grow in his own way. Frieren might be clueless in general about humans, but she tried her best when it came to finding the girl a birthday present. Stark needs his own moment with Fern where he tries his best.

But the flip side is true as well. Even Fern has to ask Frieren what she should do about her upcoming date with Stark. These kids have no one else to turn to, so they keep going to the one elf who doesn’t really understand relationships. Frieren claims, however, that she has been on a date. Spoiler: she hasn’t; she was just doing a quest alone with Himmel. Nevertheless, she goes on to elaborate, “[W]hen two close friends of opposing sex go out with each other and nobody else, that’s a date.” This kinda implies that men and women can’t hang out one-on-one without strings attached. Nah. Hard disagree. By that logic, she just went on a date with Stark. But Frieren doesn’t actually know anything. This is just what her master told her. And that’s the recurring theme in this week’s episode. Nobody knows if there’s a hot spring in them mountains, just what their grandpa used to tell them. No one in this party knows what Fern really likes, just what Heiter used to tell Frieren. And Frieren certainly doesn’t know what a date is, just what her master told her. Nobody actually knows anything. They just know what they’ve been told. But we make it work.

---

Stray thoughts & observations:

• First thing Stark does is run around and play with the boys. Oh well, at least you know he’s good with kids.
• Obviously, as a city boy in America, I’ve never taken a dip in a hot spring. A quick Google search shows that California has plenty, but I bet it’s terribly expensive. I mean, it’s California. Also, any hot spring would likely be a long drive from the city, which I’m also not excited about.
• We’re tracking Stark’s growth by measuring the size of the fish he catches. Still no progress, it seems.
• My first thought here was, “Bro, give her a boost.” But if he touched her, she’d probably call him a pervert.
• Every time Frieren sleeps…
• You think they would put up a tent at least. What if it starts raining in the middle of the night, y’know? But maybe they’ve got magic to divine the weather or whatever.
• Literally the same ledge.
• Even though they’ve been on the road for god only knows how long, it’s funny how you never see these characters’ hair get longer or shorter as we jump from memory to memory. Like with anime outfits, anime hair length almost never changes. Their hairdos are always so immaculate despite them being on the road all the time.
• If you thought the trip up was bad, wait till you gotta go back down. But why did you guys wait until it was dark to start heading back?
• I’m glad the show isn’t fanservicey.
• That’s a fun way to put your hair up.
• Good point.
• I really want to know what caused this tantrum.
• Even time is warped for Frieren’s tantrums. Three whole days? Is she keeping herself hydrated so she can keep crying? How is her throat not completely obliterated from all the wailing?
• Do you think Flamme has ever been on a date? I’m thinking no.