The winter season is finally coming to an end. There were a few good shows, but there were also a lot of really, really bad shows. Well, time for some spring cleaning. Out with the old, in with the new.
There was a Cute Girl in the Hero’s Party, so I Tried Confessing to Her Ep. 13
I don’t want to even talk about the Beast guy trying to imitate Yoki’s Black Swordsman. It’s a stupid subplot that adds nothing other than to give Yoki and Cecilia a chance to work together and thus make up. Afterwards, Yoki reaffirms his feelings for Cecilia and asks her to go with him. She says she’ll give him an answer after she officially turns down the arranged marriage request, which I personally want to see. I want to hear her words as she rejects the other guy. But when we cut to the next day, the deed has already been done. We’re only getting the tail end of the meeting. When the other guy says, “Did you not have a special someone already?” Cecilia stammers out, “Huh? N-no…” So she still can’t be upfront about it. Sure, when Cecilia and Yoki are alone together again, she returns his feelings. But I dunno, she doesn’t exactly inspire confidence. I have a soft spot for romances, and I would normally root for the primary couple. But like I said last week, Cecilia ain’t it.
Anyway, this was a pretty low stakes show that revolved around odd pairings finding each other and falling in love. Some are a little off-putting, like the girl and her gargoyle. The rest, however, were pretty bog standard. A show like this needs a cast full of strong, lovable personalities, but these characters lack charm in general. I can’t think of a single stand-out individual. I can’t think of a single memorable thing they did all season, i.e. “Wow, that arc really hit me in the feels.” Nope, not even once. Even Yoki’s chuuni bit feels played out like it’s been done before and better. The show is utterly forgettable.
Easygoing Territory Defense by the Optimistic Lord Ep. 12
In a bizarre move, Van barely gets any screentime in the season finale. When we last left off, Arte’s homeland was in trouble. The invaders had a three-prong approach, and her homeland just happened to be one of the unlucky targets. She insists, however, that she must save her family without Van’s help, because… uh, her family might lose their status if a lowly ranked noble came to their assistance? Is that really the utmost concern right now? Really? Plus, these are the same folk who drove Arte out of town because… uh… (checks notes)… she can control puppets. You can make inanimate objects move?! I HAVE NO DAUGHTER! But seriously, they sound like shitheads. Why would we want them to continue to be in power?
“Aw, but she’s just a kid! You can’t expect a kid to turn on her parents!”
But I can expect her to go to war and wipe out a bunch of soldiers?! Which, by the way, is exactly what happens. Sure, the adventurers lend a hand. But they’re pretty much powerless against the army’s fleet of wyverns. But a little girl with no combat training whatsoever can totally remote control two puppets to take the enemy out!
In the end, Arte doesn’t even confront her shitty parents. Hell, she doesn’t even pay them a visit so that they can personally thank her. She’s a complete doormat to her own abusers! What kind of message are we sending? That our family can treat us like dirt, but we still have a duty to protect their status and power?
The Invisible Man and His Soon-to-Be Wife Ep. 12
Tonome and Yako finally make the big decision: they’re going to move into Tonome’s place instead of finding a whole new apartment. Cool, this is a huge milestone for any couple. I can’t wait to see how they cohabitate. But suddenly, it’s all about Light and Karma. Remember them? Remember Light disappearing outta nowhere, but then it just turned out she was pregnant? Man, I honestly forgot these two existed. Unfortunately, they have the spotlight now. It’s all about Karma being scared that he’ll curse the babies, so he curses Tonome instead. The problem is that I want more time with the primary couple. It’s the last damn episode, man! Why are we taking time away from Tonome and Yako for a bunch of side characters? But this is indicative of the anime’s problem as a whole. The relationship between Tonome and Yako is cute, but we simply don’t get enough of it. And the side characters aren’t strong enough to make up for them. Some of them, like Karma, are just downright annoying. All in all, The Invisible Man and His Soon-to-Be Wife is a decent time waster, but nothing memorable. Also, the “Soon-to-Be Wife” part was a total lie. Soon, my ass.
The Holy Grail of Eris Ep. 12
As I figured, Cecilia gets her last second redemption. She frees the kids, then happily accepts her death at the hands of the cult. Right before the light fades from her eyes, she sees her dearest friend call out to her. Probably just a hallucination induced by her brain running low on oxygen. I mean, c’mon, she doesn’t deserve a happy ending after all that she’s done. But this isn’t even the episode’s biggest sin.
Farisian royalty crash the site of Constance’s execution, then start yapping. From the sounds of it, a whole ass political thriller happened offscreen. This happened, then this person got involved, then that happened, blah blah blah, it’s all resolved! Just trust us! Everything’s been taken care of and this woman is innocent! If this show had been twice or even thrice as long, then maybe seeing everyone come together to save Constance in the nick of time might have been the story’s crowning moment of glory. But instead, the whole thing goes down like a lead balloon.
Finally, some weird time traveling plot device gets thrown in at the last second. Right before Scarlett was executed, they fed her a mysterious drink that allowed her mind to travel through time. As a result, she saw what would happen to her in future, i.e. meeting and bonding with Constance. This was why she was able to face her death with a smile. Why is this necessary? What does this revelation achieve? How does it actually improve the story? I don’t get it.
Anyway, to make a long story short, it’s a happy ending. Constance gets both her man and her lesbian ghost girlfriend who is too spiteful to move on to the afterlife. If they hadn’t half-assed the adaptation, this might’ve been a pretty cool outcome. But none of it feels earned, so whatever. Time to memory hole this show in a couple of months and forget it ever existed.
Roll Over and Die Ep. 12
Milkit believes in Flum, who then arrives just in time to save her. Even though something invisible yanks the mean, bad lady into a pit of spikes, this part is still mostly fine. Not the most exciting battle to end all battles, but whatever. We can work with it. We then finally meet Mother, who tries to get Ink to return to the “family.” This scene is so bizarre to me. The music is swelling up as though the heroes are spittin’ mind-blowing revelations. I mean, sure, they’re not wrong. But this isn’t exactly a contest of competing wills. It’s a poor girl being asked to choose between a normal loving family and complete dogshit. Why do we need a grandiose speech and a triumphant BGM just to speak out against complete dogshit? Flum should’ve never even allowed Mother to speak. Just start throwing hands, because these people are obviously evil. But no, Mother gets to deliver a swift kick to Ink before walking away. What? That’s it? Alright then, time for the denouement.
Guess what? Nobody important died! Yay! Sorry Ed and Jonny, you two weren’t important. I mean, Sara was too embarrassed to tell them how much she cared about them, right? So there you go. Speaking of Sara, she was saved by that demon lady… who then proceeds to fall in love with her. What is this stupid shit? Sara is a child, is she not? Lemme check the Wiki since the series is over, so who gives a damn about spoilers anymore. Ah, here we go: “A naive ten-year-old paladin of the Church of Origin…” Ten. TEN. Why do these shows feel the need to throw in degenerate, pedophilic nonsense like this? If anyone ever says to me, “Hey, gimme a recommendation for a fantasy adventure series that has an LGBT couple,” I can’t exactly mention this show anymore, now can I? I mean, I probably wasn’t going to recommend it to begin with because the show is kinda mid as hell, but I definitely can’t now!
We then get an exposition dump about how Origin is some magical ass piece of technology from the past. It made all of our dreams come true until it didn’t. There’s more to this. At this point, I had maybe a good quarter of the episode left to go. But after the whole Sara debacle, I’m done. I’m completely checked out. End it. Whatever happens from here on out with Flum and Milkit, I don’t care anymore.
Dark Moon: The Blood Altar Ep. 12
Dardan is kicking everyone’s ass, but the vampy boys suddenly remember their true powers. Y’know, the ones they conveniently forgot about. As a result, they start kicking ass. Yeah, I don’t get it. So the vampy boys were jobbing this entire time? Well, this results in Dardan becoming nihilistic. He no longer even wants to rule the world anymore with Sooha by his side. He’ll just destroy everything instead. As a result, he starts kicking ass… um, again. I don’t get it. Apparently, nihilism is a power up. Sooha ends up sacrificing herself to protect Heli. With the little time that she has left, she tearfully tells Heli that this is it. She can’t reincarnate anymore! They thus confess to each other before it’s too late, and seal the deal with a kiss. This somehow unlocks Sooha’s true powers, which she then uses to kick Dardan’s ass once and for all. But I thought she was dying. I thought this was it for her. You guys told me that this was it. A snog from some gross vampy boy suddenly fixes all of that? I really, really don’t get it.
In the end, I guess Sooha and Heli are officially together, but the rest of the boys (including the furries) continue to profess their love to the girl. Um, don’t you guys have your own lives to live? Or are they gonna live the rest of their lives pining for a girl who already has a partner? Just watch yourself get cucked in real time?
But look, other female characters! They actually exist! Amazing! But jokes aside, this show was ass from start to finish.
HELL MODE: The Hardcore Gamer Dominates in Another World with Garbage Balancing Ep. 12
All of Allen’s training has led up to this episode, and he still barely survives. So if I gotta give the show any credit, it’s the fact that Allen is merely destined to be overpowered, but he’s not actually overpowered yet. Just in some key areas like, y’know, clearing out a colony of armored ants, which an entire army can’t do. Skilled fighters, however, can still easily work him over. Even so, all those training scenes could’ve been an email. Obviously, not literally, but I don’t need to see every painstaking detail of Allen’s grind sessions. It’s just not interesting. Still, some people like that sort of nonsense. I once saw someone wax poetic about Mushoku Tensei‘s approach to magic. But unless it lends itself to better characters or a better story, I really don’t care.
Even in this final episode, Hell Mode suffers a lot from just plain bad storytelling. Immediately after Allen returns home with Cecil all safe and sound, we get a massive exposition dump. Here’s the current state of the world, here’s why something like a Noble’s Duty is necessary, here’s a brief snippet about the Hero, blah blah blah. It’s so dry and boring. Fine, all of this information is necessary to understand the next season of the anime, but you’re not supposed to literally lecture the audience. Plus, it’s not like the social studies lesson was particularly interesting. Maybe the Hero and the Demon Lord are also isekai’d individuals. After all, they’re both classes that you can pick during character creation. Even then, however, this sort of thing has been done before. Previous shows have already pitted multiple isekai’d characters against each other. Even if Hell Mode pulls out this gimmick, it wouldn’t exactly be fresh and interesting.
Most of all, I’m disappointed that the first season doesn’t come full circle and has Allen paying his dear family a visit. Instead, we end on Cecil’s father asking Allen to accompany Cecil to the academy in order to continue being her bodyguard. It doesn’t sit right with me that he never once returns home. Hell, we don’t even see him write a letter to send back to his parents. Without them, he wouldn’t have made it this far. Have a heart, Allen. Go see your isekai parents, because you certainly seem to have abandoned your actual parents in the real world.
Dead Account Ep. 12
I sat down to watch the season finale, and I came away from it feeling nothing. Absolutely nothing. What a pointless show. Anime is littered with series about exorcists. Go watch any of them instead. You’d have a far better time than watching a single second of this utter train wreck.
Reincarnated as a Dragon Hatchling Ep. 12
Oh, okay, the divine voice has also been telling the evil slime to get stronger. And unlike the dragon protagonist, it is more than happy to follow the voice’s directives. To save everyone in the forest, the dragon protagonist decides to body slam the slime from like a thousand meters in the sky. Since we don’t see a slime corpse, however, who can really say that the bad guy is truly dead? Either way, the dragon then gets washed out to sea and ends up on some desert. The end. Yup, that’s how the season ends.
In the aftermath, it sounds like the human girl will embark on a journey to find the dragon. She seems obsessed with it. Does she not have a family…? Meanwhile, the black lizard takes over the monkey army. It seems to have absolute faith that the dragon protagonist will return to the forest one day. The black lizard — blazard? — is also obsessed with the dragon but in a different way. Even when the main character isn’t exactly a bog standard human boy, all the girls fall for him.
So what is the divine voice up to? Trying to create the strongest killing machine? But for what? Well, we won’t find out anytime soon. Any potential sequel is likely going to be more of the same, i.e. 90% exp grinding and 10% plot. That’s not enough to keep my interest. Hell, I barely got through this season.
Scum of the Brave Ep. 12
I automatically assumed that this would be a one-cour show, but no, this series will continue well into the spring season. Will I keep watching it? It depends. If upcoming Saturdays have a lot of shows to cover, then no. For some reason, this past season’s Saturdays was quite barren. There was literally nothing interesting to watch. Dead Account? Worse than ass. Maybe one of the worst shows I’ve seen in a long time. Dragon Hatchling? Painfully generic. Then we have Scum of the Brave, which hasn’t exactly been commanding my interest. Plus, I don’t like Yashiro one bit.
Speaking of the devil, Yashiro killed one of the people involved in Ishino’s murder, but not everyone. Not only that, Jougamine’s missing eye magically reappears. It didn’t just heal up, ’cause the damn thing was destroyed. But then outta nowhere, the eye reconstitutes itself. A miracle from one perspective, witchcraft from another. Yashiro wonders if Jougamine is even human. But why now after the battle is well over? I mean, isn’t that timing kinda convenient? And when Yashiro tries to ask his colleagues about his master, i.e. Jougamine’s father, nobody really has any relevant info. Or they’re lying about it. So great. Mysteries upon mysteries.
Plus, I prefer it when stories have consequences, so I’m not sure I like the fact that Jougamine gets her eye back. Fine, there’s something off about her and it’s not just her personality. Her strange healing factor is the big question that the second cour will probably spend most of its time exploring. But I dunno, it just feels cheap that the good guys, i.e. not side characters like Ishino, always make it through every fight relatively unscathed. I mean, c’mon, it’s a show about bounty hunters and crime lords. There should be a palpable sense that any battle could be their last.
If you’ll recall, Indo has trauma associated with the monsters they fought at the party, so this is Yashiro’s new lead. Apparently, they’re going to travel all the way up north to Hokkaido to do more sleuthing. We also get Indo’s backstory, but it’s nothing particularly remarkable. Orphan adopted by mercenaries, childhood friend sacrificed himself for her, etc. You know the drill.
In the Clear Moonlit Dusk Ep. 12
Sigh, here’s one last dose of drama before we hit the road. Takiguchi admits that it was wrong of her to hide the fact that Oji confessed to her. She also admits that she shouldn’t have passed up spending time with Ichimura to help Oji. But when he reveals one of his securities, i.e. he thinks she would’ve started dating Oji instead if the guy had met her first, Takiguchi runs off in tears. She’s so offended that they both stop talking. She’s mad that he thinks she would date anybody. Then tell him that! Because you literally did hang out with some other dude instead of your actual boyfriend. I mean, am I crazy to think Takiguchi is making a big deal outta this when she also fucked up? C’mon, man. This sort of drama is so exasperating.
But it’s the last episode, so you know they’re going to make up. Which they do. Muh senpai makes me feel girly. I can’t believe that’s the grand epiphany to seal the deal.
In general, I never liked how clueless Takiguchi acted throughout the series. It’s one thing to be inexperienced, but she was dumb about everything. We are bombarded with love stories left and right through all forms of media — books, films, social, or otherwise — and somehow, cultural osmosis just isn’t a thing for Takiguchi. She is completely unaware of any relationship dynamic. “Wuh, why is he acting this way?” “What does it mean when a guy takes an interest in you?” “What’s this feeling?” It was like watching an alien attempt to interact with humans and human culture for the first time. But she’s not an alien. She’s a Japanese teenager with a family and friends. To put it simply, Takiguchi took me out of the show. I don’t think she’s remotely a believable character.
Kaya-chan Isn’t Scary Ep. 12
Last week, I wasn’t quite sure what Mirai wanted, because Mutsu was already dead. What is the point in continuing the curse? Well, it turns out she also intends to have Kaya die. One, because the curse would also go after Kaya since it targets all Ebisumori women. But two, because she thinks Kaya will eventually end up like Mutsu and Nana. Sheesh. I guess it never occurred to me that Mirai would want to die with her daughter, because… I mean, how can you even consider killing your own kid? Plus, if the rest of the clan is dead, then what are we worried about? The knowledge to continue the ritual is all but gone. But I’m thinking too rationally when Mirai has had a mostly terrible life up until now.
Well, there’s no need to worry, ’cause in the end, love redeems everyone. Chie saved Kaya with her love, so it’s Kaya’s turn to save her mother. It’s a bit sappy, but I’m not interested in seeing a kid suffer. So it’s fine. Kaya gets her mother back, and even the thing in Mirai’s belly just ends up being a normal baby brother in the end. I’m not sure how Mirai will cope with the fact that she basically killed her own mother. She’s held this hatred within her for so long, it’s hard to think you can just wake up one day and act like everything’s completely normal. But I guess all’s well that ends well. It’s hilarious that the father remains completely clueless from start to finish. Dude’s only job is to bring home the bacon. Chie’s more of a parent to Kaya than him.
My major quibble with this anime is that they waited way too late to get the main plot going. Mirai is barely in the story until the final few episodes. The same is true with Mutsu and Nana. Midway through this episode, Nana reveals that Mutsu was really trying to free Mirai all along. But again, this revelation happens so late that it’s hard to swallow. Why now? Why didn’t Nana say anything earlier especially when she knew how much her sister had been struggling? It just doesn’t come across as credible even though she’s probably telling the truth. For what it’s worth, Mutsu did help Namu out right before she kicked the bucket. But like with Nana, why did you guys wait so long to do anything? It’s a bit ridiculous.
Kaya-chan Isn’t Scary is better than I thought it would be, but it still could’ve been a lot better. But I’m glad I watched it, which is more than I can say for a lot of shows.
The Villainess Is Adored by the Prince of the Neighbor(ing) Kingdom Ep. 12
In last week’s episode, we got Pearl’s backstory. Basically, she was in love with a human man, but he left her for another woman — a human woman. Wait a minute… Tiararose is human… and a woman! Argh, down with human women!!! Surely, I’m jesting right? Classic me, always being absurdly reductive about these innocent anime series! Once we tuck ourselves in and watch the twelfth and final episode of the series, Pearl’s motives will become crystal clear like the ocean that she lives in! Wait, she blackened it… point is, Pearl is no idiot! She has real trauma! Alright, roll the tape! Let us see what’s in store for us in the finale!
Sigh. At this point, I speedran the rest of the episode at 4x speed. Who even cares how the rest of the story plays out when the conflict is literally this simple — the conflict literally is just “Argh, I hate other women for even existing even though it was the man’s fault for being too cowardly to date a fairy king!!!” Pearl’s punishment for this whole mess is to give her blessing to the main couple, thereby granting Tiararose magical powers. Woo. Icilla gets all sad when Aquasteed rushes back to Tiararose’s side, but I mean, she’s like 14. Stop trying to steal a grown man’s heart and go be a kid. Go squee over some boy band or whatever.
Villainess shows are hardly fresh and original these days. They can be as painfully derivative as any other genre. Even so, villainesses are supposed to be aspirational in some form or fashion. Some of them learn how to properly manage their kingdom. Others become one of the top merchants (i.e. businesswoman) in the world. Some pick up a sword and learn how to fight. What does Tiararose do after they settle things with Pearl? She makes candy from scratch, which she personally brings to her hubby in the field. Like come the fuck on, our villainess is an aspiring tradwife TikToker.
There are already new anime to check out, so I have to get going on that. I was kinda hoping for a short break between seasons, but alas, the show must go on.
