Haibara’s Teenage New Game+ Ep. 2: Instant gratification

Natsuki has an upcoming group hangout with his new friends, but he doesn’t have the clothes for it. Fortunately, he has a childhood friend to offer her expert advice. Not like we can just research it on the internet or anything. The thing is, you don’t even need to guess what the main character will be wearing. It’s always the same, drab get-up in every show. Yawn. Some series will push the envelope when it comes to female fashion, but the male characters are often doomed to be boring. Well, it beats a tracksuit, I guess.

To be fair, the rest of the group isn’t exactly dripped out either. They look… fine. Nevertheless, the CrushTM compliments him for looking sharp. Ah yes, a button-down shirt and chinos. What a killer combo. We then get this scintillating bit of dialogue:

“Y-you look good in that outfit, too. It’s cool.”

“Cool? Not cute?”

“Oh, uh…”

“I’m just messing.”

In the Muv-Luv trilogy, Takeru uses his multiple second chances to save humanity from the BETA threat. In Groundhog Day, Phil Connors at least acquires a bunch of amazing skills after messing around for god knows how many loops. All Natsuki seemingly wants to do is have vapid conversations with his CrushTM. His only real self-improvement thus far is what? Losing weight? That’s my biggest beef with this show. The premise is nothing new, but you can at least try to be ambitious about it. But Natsuki’s only goal seems to be enjoying his high school years. Anime in generall will make it sound like if you bomb just these three years, the rest of your life will be shit. If you’re a sad and depressed kid, I don’t think that’s what you want to hear.

We get a montage of the group having fun. Reita eventually notices, however, that Natsuki has been keeping Tatsuya at arm’s length. He wonders if Natsuki perhaps doesn’t like Tatsuya. It’s been one hangout. Kinda weird to jump to conclusions already. Still, we know from a flashback that Tatsuya used to cover for the MC, but he stopped at one point. In his previous life, they were on the same basketball team. Everyone bullied abs-less Natsuki except Tatsuya, but the guy still had his limits. Unfortunately, the story has yet to explain what really happened — what really broke their friendship. Maybe we’re still saving this plot point for a later episode. Nevertheless, you think the current Natsuki would want to prioritize making amends with Tatsuya this time around. After all, he should pay the guy back for protecting him when he was vulnerable. But no, wooing the CrushTM who rejected him back then is obviously far more important.

Natsuki picks up a basketball and starts hitting nothing but net. He even admits that he hasn’t touched the sport in a while, but “basKetbAll plAyers haVe a unIqUe seNse.” Well, this leads to Tatsuya challenging Natsuki to a quick 1v1. I guess this is how they’ll mend their relationship even though, again, this isn’t the priority. Natsuki is determined not to lose only because he has to impress his CrushTM. Like, bro, it all hinges on this pickup game. She won’t bang me if I lose this exact one!!! Our MC proceeds to pull off all these crossovers and spin moves as if he’s been playing regularly for years. He used to practice everyday as abs-less Natsuki. He even practiced a bit in college. Did he also practice after work everyday as a salaryman?

I’m just sayin’, everyone gets rusty when they haven’t done something they used to love in a long, long time. Everyone. It doesn’t matter who you are or what your hobby is. So why be greedy about it? Why not have Natsuki miss a few shots, but show potential. He can always work to get his game back and still impress his CrushTM at some later point in time. Hell, you can frame it as her being attracted to his work ethic and dedication. But no, it’s always about instant gratification with these shows. Gotta win and gotta win now. Win big, too. That’s why they call him Natsuki “Steph Curry” Haibara. It’s the one-month abs. They help you shoot better. So in the end, Natsuki beats the guy who is literally on the basketball team and practices regularly. Sure, we can make amends, but at least Tatsuya now knows he ain’t shit. We can have no less, because, again, if Natsuki didn’t win today, it’d be all over with his CrushTM.


Stray thoughts & observations:

For a quick, impromptu hangout with a friend? I certainly would. I ain’t getting dressed up for that.

— Bro, this is the second time you’ve had this thought. I get it, your CrushTM is super cute.

Third time.

— Natsuki wears this expression as he watches the girls headpat each other. Mmm, yes, this is exactly why I’m getting a second chance at life. Is nobody else in the group noticing this?

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