Hope that helps.
But of course, I’m sure it doesn’t.
“Perhaps the best trait about Mio is her fragile nature, which is an obvious contrast to her usually mellow image. Never have I found cowering and curling up in fear to be so adorable to watch.”
I love my women cowering like a bitch, halfway to a complete breakdown. How do you spice up the stale, ol’ tsundere? By making her a quivering sack of meat.
Ho ho ho, weren’t you the confident, little Miss Know-It-All? BAM, son, barnacles up in here. There, there… my thick otaku arms will protect you from the harsh world out there. Rest your dear head on my chest and listen to the rhythmic thumps of my clogged heart (ad hominem, I know; I don’t care).
I understand your worries. Sixteen already? Shouldn’t you be taking flower arranging? Or maybe home ec? Shouldn’t you start worrying about finding a man to take care of you?! Fine, fine… I guess I’ll let you play guitar with your girlfriends. Isn’t that cute–she thinks she’s talented. It’s okay that everyone saw your shimapan. Even though you’re ruined for marriage, I’m a big enough man to look past that and marry you.
No, don’t say anything. The tears streaming down your cheeks say it all. Just get it out now, singing your saccharine lyrics about nothing–silly, fanciful trifles of an immature girl. Don’t be like Sawako-sensei though; she was too wild and now she has no man. Moderation! Cause, I mean, I have my limits too and you don’t want to be ruined for me as well. Then what will you do?! Unable to bag any man, you’d truly be a failure of woman.
Look, the basic gist of K-on! is that Kyoani has lost its soul. Every studio caters to fanservice to some extent, but nothing could feel more “by the books” than what K-on! demonstrated in its twelve uninspired episodes. The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi had its fair share of moe, but it was, at the very least, self-aware of its harem qualities. You could even call it meta, but that might be giving Kyoani too much credit. K-on! is unabashed in its moe glory.
Kanon and Clannad indicated a disturbing trend in Kyoani’s development, one that I didn’t take seriously for a while. After all, this was one hell of a talented studio in a sea of poorly animated shit (what’s that one soda mahou shoujo show called again?), but they also proved they could pair their eye candy with damn good humor (FMP, Haruhi and Lucky Star to some extent). I didn’t think they would completely lose the plot and even Clannad had its moments.
K-on!, however, just feels so empty, lacking any humanity. Here’s your prepackaged moe polished to a complete sheen with hardly an ounce of shame. Oh oneechan, I just want a happy Christmas! Maa~ maa~ let’s stop fighting and play dress up. No, we’re not being tongue-in-cheek! Am I wrong? Or is this just a fluke? The new Haruhi episodes imply (to be explained in another update), however, that this isn’t just a Kyoani fluke. This is for real. Old Kyoani is dead, new plastic Kyoani is cashing in.
K-on! is just dumb. You can have moe and be smart about it. You can have fanservice and be smart about it. Haruhi was somewhat clever about it; Maria+Holic was clever about it. K-on! is just dumb. It’s like getting a big puff of pink cotton candy and cramming it all down your throat in one go. So what if Kyoani made it with the best of sugar. At the end of the day, its content is pure fluff, fake and absolutely bad for your health. But man, how little boys eat it up.