(image courtesy of The Fin)

Let me tell you of an old tale. It’s a tale of forbidden love, a love no women could understand. Trust me — I asked the father in Bakuman, an expert of all things women simply do not understand, and he agreed. This… this is a tale of brotherly love.

A maxim: every loli loves getting creamed.

Little girls just love ‘caeki’ and their oniichan. Bear amazoness Ui recalls a memory of her dear brother wiping cream off of her lips. Logically, she begins to remember her kiss with Kazuma. With that, welcome to the second episode of Brocesticon, a.k.a. Hoshizora e Kakaru Hashi, a tumultuous tale of manly affairs.

Kazuma gingerly introduces himself to his new class. As he settles into his desk, reluctantly next to the girl he accidentally kissed the previous day, Ui begins her scheme. “Kazu-kun,” she coos, blushing as she stares at him. Unfazed by her clumsy attempts of moe, Kazuma coolly asks Ui for her name in response. She grunts out an “Ui,” to which Kazuma silently scoffs, Kids nowadays — back in my day, we uguu’d with pride. Hinata, who totally doesn’t like Kazuma at all, butts in with her first name as well, but who cares what it is.

During a designated break period in class, the masses huddle around the new transfer student. Bombarded by prying inquiries, Kazuma is lost and can only stammer out a few meek responses.

Hinata suddenly accuses Kazuma of attempted debauchery, citing the shameful incident with Ui from a day ago. Burning with loyalty to his dear brother, Kazuma tries his best to deny everything.

Lunch rolls around and Ui brazenly slams her meal upon the desks they had pushed together as a makeshift lunch table. Her lunch: a fuzzy carpet littered with fungus and mold. Kazuma quips if she’ll be munching on her carpet alone, to which she answers, “Of course not.” She proudly presents her muffins to him.

Sensing his disinterest, Ui offers Kazuma a tour of the town after school has been let out. The thought of sight-seeing the pastoral countryside brings Kazuma’s thoughts back to his brother and he asks, “…would you mind if I brought my brother with me?” Young love pulses in his heart. He walks some ways when he notices Tsumugi, yet another tawdry siren, standing before him at the school gates.

Once upon the middle of some road, with school long out of picture, Kazuma finally asks Tsumugi, “So you were waiting for me?”

Their idle banter bores and disinterests him. Kazuma has other concerns — concerns of his beloved brother. In his mind, Kazuma can only picture Ayumu waiting alone on a bridge, a thumping heart hammering away in that frail chest. Kazuma imagines his brother’s nervous eyes darting to and fro across the horizon, desperate for any sight of his dear oniichan. Tsumugi tells Kazuma not to worry, however, for she had already made plans for her younger sister to occupy Ayumu’s attention. That wench, Kazuma cursed silently, trying to drive a gap between star-crossed lovers, will you? But before he can raise his voice in dismay, our prince, Ayumu, approaches:

“Kawaii,” one of them exclaims. Even the Itsuki-ripoff is bewitched by Ayumu’s entrancing shota charms.

In the corner, a proud Kazuma stands when whispers of Ayumu’s kinship reaches his ears.

Kazuma scolds his meddling interlopers, hoping only to retire to his home in peace with Ayumu in tow. Finding no escape, however, he is forced to continue his banal stroll with his classmates through the countryside. After some awkward moments of silence, Tsumugi observes that Kazuma slows his walking pace to match his petite brother.

Ayumu blushes at this discovery, shocked that his brother needs to treat him so delicately. Emotions well up in his heart as dragonflies and butterflies dance in the bright, blue sky. The others listen in with apparent glee:

Not wanting to draw any more unwanted attention to their forbidden love, Kazuma quickly changes the subject. He asks for that tour of the blissful countryside, unaware that he has just walked into the first step of Ui’s schemes. Not wanting to appear too bumpkin to the city slicker, Ui drags Kazuma to the pride and glory of Yamabiko: a combini. Such facts as “This convenience store is open from 7 A.M. to 10 P.M.!” and “Don’t you find it amazing that you can buy snacks after dark,” however, fall on deaf ears. Kazuma rolls his eyes, unimpressed.

Undeterred, Ui hopes to seduce the unsuspecting Kazuma with her skillful nibbling of cheese-flavored rods. Kazuma, a man of vast experience, is — again — unimpressed. Speaking of cheese, he is reminded of Ui’s cheesy muffins. He then taunts Ui, professing that her cheese-flavored muffins were nothing compared to Ayumu’s Kappa Ebisen’s.

A stubborn Ui stands her ground; the amazoness bear has never failed to capture the heart of any man she targets. She suggests that they revisit the twin mountains, the site of the unholy tryst from the day before.

Kazuma remarks that he has already been lost in the pair once before and thus there’s no need to see Ui’s twin mountains yet again. Hinata argues, however, that he had only wandered the base and as a result, he has yet to truly explore the renowned peaks of Yamabiko. Never one to be daunted by presence of adults speaking, Ui spits out the first brilliant thing that comes to her mind: “They call it Twin Mountains because they’re like two mountains stuck together.”

The group wander some more, visiting a shrine at one point, before retiring to a parlor to wrap things up. There, Ui plays her trump card:

Stuffing herself raw with cream, she hopes to impress Kazuma with one last ditch attempt. Ayumu, having been mostly silent all this time, can’t help but gasp, “That’s huge, onii-chan.” Absent-mindedly, Kazuma politely offers Ui a napkin.

As he lightly wipes the cream from her lips, Ui coos, “Thank you, oniichan,” much to everyone’s shock and Ayumu’s apparent dismay. She confesses that she couldn’t help it; after hearing Ayumu call Kazuma oniichan all day long, she too had the burning desire to utter that very word. Much blushing was had and the room fell silent. A distraught Kazuma has nothing to say. With that, we retire…

…to shota nipples. Ayumu turns to his brother and asks, “With all those girls around you, what was on your mind today, dear brother?” The two young men lock eyes for a second, a warmth swelling in their chests.

In their hearts of hearts, they both knew a worded answer was unnecessary as mirthful giggles echoed through the steamy bath.

In a distant and far less brotherly bath, the nefarious Ui schemes with her second command.

Yes, Ayumu’s older brother is Kazu-kun, the duck says back, but we shall have him yet. Ui nods to Captain Duckling and closes her eyes, pleased with today’s results. She feels that Kazuma’s resolve is weakening…