So the cooking class has the most ridiculous requirement ever: you have to finish everything you make or you fail. But oh dear, the girls just had to make too much chestnut rice. As a result, they’re going to fail! Doot doo doo, hungry boys are here to show everyone how to eat! Look how happy the girls are to serve:

Ridiculous harem plot aside, there’s just something off about Mashiro-Iro Symphony. It almost feels like the anime is taking itself too seriously. Case in point, the episode repeatedly does a slow zoom-in on Uguu-kun’s (I know his name is Uryuu but I don’t care) glossy face as if to suggest that something poignant is occurring onscreen. This is no Clannad though; Mashiro-Iro Symphony has just as much eroge schlock as any cheap harem. So why does it feel so uptight?

I mean, I never expect these harem series to be any good, but I do expect them to have a little more energy. Mashiro-Iro Symphony is, however, strangely lifeless and slow-paced. Uguu-kun is honestly proud that he can peel chestnuts and wash rice. So then he takes a moment to survey the peaceful classroom as if to pat himself on the back for a job well done. It’s almost as if the anime wants to be contemplative about its Stranger in a Strangeland scenario without understanding that it’s a goddamn harem. Meanwhile, where’s the witty banter? Where’s the comedy? But by comedy, I don’t mean stock harem hijinks.

What do I mean by stock harem hijinks? Well, you guys should know the drill by now. Uguu-kun has a good heart, but he just can’t help himself if he happens to faceplant into a rack of breasts. It’s not his fault if he “accidentally” walks into a classroom full of girls in a state of undress. Hell, just trying to pick up a piece of chalk is an adventure all in itself — an adventure that leads to an upskirt pantyshot. God forbid Uguu-kun tries to tie his shoelaces; he might “accidentally” impregnate one of his classmates in the process.

The show’s biggest offense is probably its take on the maid stereotype. The overly cheerful girl doesn’t mind the sudden integration of the sexes at all, but why not? After all, most of the other girls sure as hell aren’t pleased. Well, why don’t we ask the maid herself (yes, she refers to herself in third person):

Angie: “No, Angie doesn’t mind having more students here. To Angie, there are more people who can potentially become her master.”

Look how happy they are to see a subservient female.

Generic best friend character in harem shows: “It’d be nice if all the girls here were like you, Angie.”

So I guess some girls are just born as maids and thus spend their entire lives looking for the right master to serve. Yep, being a maid isn’t a job or anything.