Guilty Crown Ep. 2: Auto-generated anime

Oh, what’s that? Gai is jealous of Shu? Gosh, who could have predicted this:

“But Gai looks troubled as if it’s just the first damn episode and yet his authority — his superiority — has already been superseded by an upstart’s sudden ascendency.”

Unfortunately, it only gets worse from here. The anime goes way over the top in its portrayal of Japan’s oppression. Soldiers round up defenseless civilians in a ghetto just to shoot them at point blank range. A mother begging for mercy gets her face kicked in by a sadistic officer. Gosh, this is so reminiscent of something… something I watched a long time ago.

Ah yes, what a potent metaphor for the ways in which Japan has been victimized by foreign nations. In any case, Guilty Crown‘s nationalistic vibes are hardly the worst thing it has going for it. Rather, it seems like T&A are being shoved into my face at every single opportunity.

What sort of person would undergo a dangerous mission in assless chaps?

Inori would, that’s who! You’re not a good terrorist unless you have to get a bikini wax. Yep, that’s why bin Laden failed….

Gee, anime combat sure does make a girl twitch and moan a lot these days.

Thumbs up on the breast physics! The fact that she’s in a wheelchair is like a tiny, little moé surprise!

Ah yes, here’s the girl in nekomimi mode.

What? You’ve never seen a butt control sphere before? No worries! Her extremities will jiggle for your delight too!

It’s as if the executives furrowed their brows over Eden of the East‘s less than stellar performance and decided that they had to hit every single nerd button in Guilty Crown. Pathetic, introverted schoolboy turned uber superhero? Check. Mechas? Check. Improbable alt-universe in which Japan is enslaved by foreign forces? Check. All sorts of objectified women in skin-tight outfits? Triple checked. Worst of all, Gai seems to be this alpha male that all the girls bow down to… well, until Shu takes over anyway.

“Please, Gai, if anyone is to be blamed, it’s me! You’re too perfect to do any wrong! I’m just a floppy pair of boobs who doesn’t know any better!”

“What about me, Gai? Give me approval, Gai. OH GOD GAI TELL ME I DID GOOD, GAI!”

And as if the the show wasn’t already chock full of clichés, the episode’s ending quickly reminds you that you’re watching anime. Yep, only in anime could terrorists wake up the next morning and find themselves going to high school. Wait, what’s that? We have a new transfer student?

It’s okay, Production I.G. — you guys can just admit it. Yoshino Hiroyuki isn’t a real person, is he? He’s actually a machine somewhere in your basement. It’s full of anime tropes and an algorithm to arrange said tropes into all the derivative dreck we know and love. Why, all you’d really have to do is fill in the names!

“Gentlemen! According to the machine, a (high school student) saves a (hot babe) who then gives him (generic anime shounen power). And… and she then transfers into his school…. brilliant! Get me two seasons worth of the noitaminA block!”

19 thoughts on “Guilty Crown Ep. 2: Auto-generated anime

  1. Kim

    For once I agree with you. I don’t really have much to say except this had me laughing out loud. Although I was happy when Inori transferred to Shu’s school. At least now I can see her with some clothes on (of course I am sure they will be off in the next episode).

    I am beginning to think that Guilty Crown might be enjoyable on the level of so bad it’s good. Well maybe not!

    Reply
    1. E Minor Post author

      For once I agree with you.

      Oh, so that’s why San Francisco just had a couple of earthquakes recently. The cataclysm is coming!

      I am beginning to think that Guilty Crown might be enjoyable on the level of so bad it’s good. Well maybe not!

      I’m not sure the human eyes are designed to roll as much as they do during every single Guilty Crown episode. The anime might just be bad for your health.

      Reply
  2. Shall

    Oh lord this entry had me laughing out loud, excellent. Pretty much my thoughts as well. It’s hard to enjoy something so predictable.

    Reply
  3. Caitlyn

    You hit every nail on the head with this entry. I’m pretty sure I actually did throw up in my mouth a little when Inori said “I belong to you now.”

    I refuse to believe that this is a noitaminA show. I’m gonna go watch Yojouhan…

    Reply
    1. E Minor Post author

      I’m pretty sure everyone at Moe Sucks would have thrown popcorn at the screen during the “I belong to you now” scene if we actually had any.

      Reply
  4. hurin

    The animation budget must be insanely high considering this is a series and not a movie, so I guess that’s one reason they’re playing it safe.
    It’s not that anything in it is actually bad, I just wish it could be a bit more original.

    Who would have thought that Ben-To would become the best show of this season?

    Reply
    1. E Minor Post author

      It’s not that anything in it is actually bad

      I’m not sure we’re watching the same anime.

      Who would have thought that Ben-To would become the best show of this season?

      I’m definitely sure we’re not watching the same anime.

      Reply
      1. hurin

        I’ll agree that being made up of cliches and tropes means it can’t be great, but it does not by definition make it bad, just look at Avatar.
        From a pure technical viewpoint it’s a solid effort.

        Ben-To has everything you complain Guilty Crown has not, what more do you wan’t?

        Reply
        1. E Minor Post author

          I wasn’t just complaining about the cliches in Guilty Crown. Did you miss all the parts about the piss poor portrayal of females in the anime?

          Reply
        2. hurin

          But it’s portrayal of women doesn’t make it bad per se. Kare Kano had a piss poor portrayal of males, but a brilliant portrayal of women.

          GC is a mediocre effort except for the animation, but so far it’s not bad. But if the next episode has Shu end up in the same room as a naked Inori I’ll change my position and agree it’s garbage.

          Reply
  5. A guy from /m/

    I almost stopped watching after the amazing piece of dialogue consisting of Submissive Pink-haired Girl (she’s too bland and nonexistent to remember by name) saying that she’s nothing more than property for our Generic High School Boy #582.

    I would love to see this industry direct more focus on stories that aren’t the end result of some database-driven checklist of popular (in other words, obnoxious) anime tropes and conventions. Eccentric cat girls, subservient yamato nadeshiko’s with the personality of a doormat, stoic-faced leaders acting out of a sense of juvenile jealousy, etc. it has all been done before… a lot, making the obligatory school setting seem like overkill.

    Reply
    1. E Minor Post author

      I would love to see this industry direct more focus on stories that aren’t the end result of some database-driven checklist of popular (in other words, obnoxious) anime tropes and conventions.

      Problem is that it won’t sell. The industry has put itself between a rock and a hard place by, at times, refusing to be inclusive. Even if you went against anime tropes, most non-anime fans have already regarded the genre as niche or strange and are unwilling to give most anime a shot. On the other hand, the nerds cry that their niche genre is trying to be mainstream or selling out.

      Reply
  6. Meh

    They really want to be Code Geass; they they can’t even wait for the second season to fully start the train wreck.

    Reply
  7. A Day Without Me

    Just wait, I predict hentai doujin with Gai fucking the lead character I can’t remember the name of.

    Also, pink haired girl looks like Yuno. If she started swinging an axe, it would improve the show, at least, although Yuno is hardly a feminist hero.

    Reply
      1. dl18

        Lol, wut? Although it’s true, I really don’t want to believe so.

        I believe the fact that yaoi would come up stems from the fact that we have pretty animations/designs, even if the story is shallow. Fangirls who create yaoi LOVE pretty designs. And then there comes the argument about who is in which position. Personally, I do NOT want to go there.

        Reply

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