Welcome back to our very belated installment of Harem Hill. Which one of these shows will take home the Crown of Shit Harem when it is all said and done? Last week, Estetica and Dekinai were just pulling too far ahead for the other competitors to keep pace. Out of nowhere, an unholy triumvirate sprung up to challenge the two frontrunners. With Imouto leading the charge, will the underdogs upstage the two AT-X shows? Let’s peep that leaderboard:
Hagure Yuusha no Estetica — 4510
Dakara Boku wa, H ga Dekinai — 3800
KKK! — 3595
First up, Koi to Senkyo to Chocolate.
A… are you even trying anymore, Chocolate? An entire episode without so much as a boob bounce or an upskirt shot. I’d reward the anime points for stupidity, but then I would actually have to care enough to pay attention to the plot. Quite frankly, that is impossible without fanservice. The closest we get to any sort of action is in the screencap above. No Crown of Shit Harem for you! Okay, fine, you get some pity points for this ridiculous scene:
You see that hat in the lady’s hand? She’s going to chuck it.
And that tiny speck is now the hat sailing through the air.
The hat’s a little harder to see now, but it’s still there, and it looks like it’s going to just miss the water. Oh well, still one helluva throw…
Wut (250).
Hagure Yuusha no Estetica — 4510
KKK! — 3845
Dakara Boku wa, H ga Dekinai — 3800
Last week, Estetica managed to regain the lead. The harem hopes to continue its strong push for the top by literally having its students battle a giant cock:
Let’s see if it works. First things first, the anime reminds us of last week’s urine-soaked fun. Such riveting water sports action can’t be limited to just one episode (250). Unfortunately, the first half of the episode revolves around the tiny girl shown below and her problems fitting in at high school:
Is anyone else slightly creeped out by the fact that she’s barely half as tall as the harem lead (100)? Of course not. If anything, she’s actually blessed! No painful knees for her, nope.
To fix her problems, the harem lead takes her to a suspicious manga cafe with rooms specifically designated for couples. Maybe such manga cafes really do exist in the real world, but in the meantime, I’m going to note that as mild stupidity (100). When the girl starts to feel uncomfortable, and begins resisting, the harem lead just lets her go on her merry way. Pfft, yeah right:
With magical wrist-squeezing power, the harem lead renders the girl weak in the knees and immobile. Sweet, I love overtones of rape (250):
In the meantime, their snooping friends try to eavesdrop, but the lesbian takes the opportunity to grope the other girl. Without anime, I would’ve never known that lesbians are so slutty (250):
Toss in another hundred points for the panty shot, I suppose. Back to our main couple, he pretends to rape her just to show her that he can’t read people’s moods either. Gosh, who would’ve known girls don’t like being physically imposed upon? Ergo, he’s not an adult. Wait, what (250)? Welp, existential crisis solved. Little girl is no longer concerned that she’s not an adult.
For the rest of the episode, the students undergo combat training. As I noted above, this involves a giant cock, but while it has no problems turning most of the students into stone, the scene does nothing to get me hard. As a result, no points!
Hagure Yuusha no Estetica — 5810
KKK! — 3845
Dakara Boku wa, H ga Dekinai — 3800
Only 1300 points this week for Estetica? That looks like a weak showing. Campione! decides that now’s a good time to jump into the ring. Like its brethren, however, this week’s episode is light on fanservice and heavy on plot (something about a divine instrument that can destroy the world). It’s as if Campione! and Chocolate are content to let Imouto carry the team all by its lonesome!
Now, Campione!‘s third episode isn’t without its (pathetic) moments. Every anime needs a deadpan, diminutive pettanko, but this is also an anime about Greek gods and godslayers. Ooh, what can we do? I know! We’ll just make Athena a deadpan, diminutive pettanko!
Brilliant! We wouldn’t want creativity to get in the way of tried-and-true anime tropes (250). Oh, and here’s a stomach-churning french kiss:
Greek goddesses secrete buckets of saliva at the drop of a hat. Buckets (100). After that, nothing of note happens. Another disappointing week for Campione!. If it hadn’t been for the KKK! alliance, this harem would have been out of the game a long time ago.
Hagure Yuusha no Estetica — 5810
KKK! — 4295
Dakara Boku wa, H ga Dekinai — 3800
With the gap between KKK! and Estetica swelling to 1515 points, Imouto has a lot of shitty ground to cover, but next up, Dekinai!
Dekinai relies upon a simple formula of boobs, bewbs, and more b00bz. This harem isn’t into the kinky stuff like water sports and giant cocks. Dekinai knows where its strengths lie and is all too pleased to exploit it.
Once again, Lisara is looking for her special person. This week, we take a closer look at a potential candidate: a girl with the uncanny ability to discern the size of another woman’s breasts. Whoa, really? A girl? Yeah, a girl! See, girls are perverts too! Dekinai is an equal opportunity shit anime!
The episode starts us off nice and slow with a series of buxom babes in tight clothing or bikinis (200). The girl refuses to shake Lisara’s hands, however, because Lisara’s boobs are apparently too small. You can see where this is going! Even though Lisara hasn’t enjoyed any second of the harem lead groping her body in the previous two episodes, she’s now very jealous of the fact that he has eyes for other women (100)! This then gives the harem lead an opportunity to give a rousing speech about how he has an appreciation for boobs of all sizes.
See? Who said romance was dead? You can’t blame a guy for getting excited around boobs. According to Dekinai, that’s just raw “animal instincts.” Man can’t overcome his beastly nature. We’re just basically hairless monkeys. Evo psych to the max!
So let me ask you who the real victim is here? MEN (250)!
Oh, just don’t mind the fact that every girl in the anime has “perfectly”-sculpted breasts. We celebrate breasts of all sizes, but that doesn’t include shape. Like, ew, am I right (250)?! Every girl has a unique treasure so long as she’s within the approved range of body shapes (and weight). That’s just common sense, y’all.
Anyway, you’ve got the childhood friend going semi-topless just to form a pact (150), massive amounts of cleavage in nearly every scene (100 times… oh, I dunno, let’s say three), the same ol’ transformation sequence since the start of the anime (300 times two), slow-motion breast physics (100), a declaration that large breasts are “filled with the dreams and hopes of all men” (100), and a faceless villain going “Omoshiroi” (100). Wow, 2150 points in one week!
Dakara Boku wa, H ga Dekinai — 5950
Hagure Yuusha no Estetica — 5810
KKK! — 4295
And Dekinai pulls ahead of Estetica yet again. A giant cock should’ve been worth a ton of points for the latter, but alas, it went to waste. Nevertheless, is the newly-forged KKK! alliance already doomed to failure? Can Imouto turn this ship around?
We start the show off with a naked undercover agent paying the harem lead a visit. Couldn’t she have just showered at her own place?
Right. Breaking and entering to shower at a home closer to school makes more sense than simply showering in one’s own home (100). Using her amazing powers of deduction, she also suggests that she and the harem lead marry. This way, he won’t accidentally marry his sister… unless Mister X is his sister, but does the harem lead pick up on this? Being the densest mothersisterfucker to grace anime in a long time, he’s more worried about the fact that they’d have to have sex as a married couple.
Please… don’t sully this shounen’s innocence with such lewd ideas (100)! Naturally, the girl doesn’t know how to make babies; it’s just not something they teach you at undercover school (100). After a quick lesson, she nevertheless insists that they have sex anyway. Yet again, the harem lead is the only person in the room who doesn’t realize that people are desperate for his wealth.
Of course, two classmates immediately barge into Shougo’s room just as he and Mister X find themselves in a compromising position. Mister X had to use a hairpin to get into Shougo’s apartment. How did the other two girls get in? Like the Imouto’s identity, 
. Or, y’know, this is just a stupid anime (100).
Still mistaking Mister X for a guy, the other two girls are alarmed at the idea that their wealthy love interest might actually be gay. The tsunderekko can’t help but drool anyway (100), but golly, how can we cash-in if the harem lead’s gay?! Commence the conversion therapy!
“So a woman’s body is better, right?”
“You came here to train me so I can realize how attractive women are.”
“We’re here to guide you back to the light. Back to liking women.”
“We’ll help cure you, Shou-nii.”
“At this rate, you won’t be able to marry a woman and have kids with her!”
“It was shocking to find out you were a siscon, but we figured it was better than being gay.”*
“I want you to like women again.”
“I’ll do all I can to help you realize just how attractive women are.”
“We’ll teach you everything that’s good about women.”
“Shou-nii, you need to be cured.”
*Of all the lines above, this one takes the cake.
It’s not enough that most anime cater to us straight men. It’s not even enough that there are usually five to six hot babes for every male lead. Y’know, just like how it is in real life — I need six body pillows to keep me warm.
That’s one hell of a bachelor’s pad.
Nonono, we cannot allow the encroaching threat of homosexuality to threaten our precious anime shows any longer! Birth rates continue to fall, people! Do we really want more able-bodied young nipponjins being lured to the dark side?
We have a code rainbow, and it’s time to bring out the heteronormativity (250 times ten).
There’s also a silly moment when Shougo screams “I love my sister” over the phone and we see the Imouto’s bath overflow with water. Very subtle, guys. Very subtle (100). And we can’t forget his dreams of seven different girls in the nude, all calling him “Onii-sama.” Incestuous and arrogant (150 times seven)! Somehow, the homeroom teacher is included just for good measure. In Japan, everyone’s your sister!
So what’s the final verdict?
KKK! — 8345
Dakara Boku wa, H ga Dekinai — 5950
Hagure Yuusha no Estetica — 5810
Goddamn. Well, can’t say I’m surprised. When it comes to winning the Crown of Shit Harem, it’s hard to beat gay-bashing. I kind of want to just end the competition now and give Imouto the victory.
Our Crown of Shit Harem lesson of the week:
Campione’s a mess of jumbled up pacing. Watchable, but barely.
Chocolate is drama that might not be up some people’s tea. Though I saw someone who had the cheek to suggest that Chocolate needed more fanservice. If not for the super-skewed Male-Female ratio, more likely, it would have been compared to Kokoro Connect and Tari Tari, though it’d definitely be the weakest.
This was Estetica’s best episode in my opinion, though given that Estethica has only premise going for it and two fanservice laden poorly done two episodes, that’s not saying much.
I’m very surprised Dekinai hasn’t taken the lead. That’s the most arch-typically stupid Fanservice Harem for the entire season.
And Imouto,,,, the highlight for me was the entire business with Miyabi. And the first real meaningful conversation with the Student Council President. There is potential at this point for a stronger late game plot, but then again, it’s still Harem. The best Harems in recent years tend to be parodies and Meta-commentaries on the genre (TGWOK) , or merely one plot element in another genres (the Later Negima chapters).
“I kind of want to just end the competition now and give Imouto the victory.”
Does this mean you are ending Harem Hill? If so, it’s been an entertaining run (=, though I’d think many of your readers would have liked to see it continue.
At this point, you’d be hard-pressed to call it a harem. None of the girls are necessarily all that into the main character besides his childhood friend. In hindsight, I should’ve just dropped the show entirely from Harem Hill, but I’m in too far. Besides, KK! just doesn’t have the same ring to it.
The show just seems to have no general thrust to it. It’s very much a series of loosely-related events. There’s a plot, but there isn’t much of a story. Stuff just happens, which usually allows for the main character to come across like a mega-badass. Usually, however, he just resembles a giant creep masquerading as the alpha dog (perhaps there’s no difference between the two).
It’s very hard for me overlook the massive amount of offensive nonsense permeating Imouto this week. A constant barrage of boobs is stupid, but it doesn’t quite measure up to the shit that Imouto tried to pull. I know it’s Japan and Asian cultures in general aren’t very accepting of homosexuality, but c’mon.
Probably not. I was just trying to get across my complete exasperation with Imouto.
Chocolate:
Well. Ebiten could take it’s place. My proposal for Kokoro Connect was a bit of a joke there, but the Male-Female imbalance is very much a staple of anime now of days. At this rate (mind you, the phenomena may be peaking) the next big Shounen may well have four females for every male, Negima style. It says something when Nichibros is considered a Novelty.
Chocolate is Drama and Intrigue, and I think has to be judged on that count. Romance is a sub-plot, a potentially big one, but Romance is not the Backdrop, even if Love is the first part of the title.
Love = Romance/Comedy
Chocolate = Drama
Elections = Intrigue and attempted Political Commentary
It’s too early at this stage to say whether it succeeds or fails. It certainly is more ambitious than Kokoro Connect, and definitely Tari Tari. And ambition and One cour often can be a bad sign, though there have been notable exceptions.
Estetica:
And execution is ultimately the whole problem. It’s boringly directed, it’s overly focused on fan-service and silly sexual jokes, with a few patches of good- where they actually try to focus on the premise.
But I fully agree with you that Estetica’s wavering between Yuri and Sexual Fanservice, and focusing on what they should be selling: the Premise of exploring a rare Main Character type for it’s Fantasy-Harem Genre. The MC is meant to be the Anti-Saito and basically a character at the Level Cap, there are times where this comes off clearly, but there are times where SEX SEX SEX buries the whole thing at creates the “Creep” part.
That being said, I was surprise you didn’t deduct points for the subversion of the averted H-Loli scene. I actually thought that the Directors would have gone through with it, with what happened in the last two episodes.
The Second premise of Esthetica was the matter about the Many Worlds, and Many magical systems, and what would happen if there were tens of thousands of Sliders with magical powers running around. Again, sacrificed to the deafening background of distracting, irrelevant Fanservice, and executed with Talking Heads and a poor imitation of SEELE. Now, if those hints of the larger world took the Fairy Tail Approach of illustrating the Magical Council, that would have been better.
Finally, production values aren’t high. That’s the least of Esthetica’s problems.
Wasted Premise.
On Imouto:
I don’t think they were being deliberately Homophobic, to be fair. It doesn’t seem like it’s going to come up again, so that was probably meant to be a comedy, than anything else, even if it was offensive to certain audiences.
The second half of Imouto caught my interest, actually.
But, at least we do get a plausible reason of how the MC acquires a Harem. Though I don’t think they have the balls to deconstruct that.
I tried watching the first episode. I couldn’t get past the first five minutes. I just think I’m all harem’d out at this point. I’ll stick with the five shows I have now and just see how long I can last.
I’ll probably never see the appeal in the show, but for people who can actually locate said drama and intrigue, they can take solace in the fact that the show doesn’t score very high in Harem Hill. So I guess it’s not much of a shitty harem… for whatever that’s worth.
Because it was still amazingly stupid in the way everything played out.
Who cares if it was deliberate or not?
“It was shocking to find out you were a siscon, but we figured it was better than being gay.”
The anime just basically said it’s better to fuck your sister than be gay. The show repeatedly used words like “cure” and “fix.” Just because it was “meant to be comedy” doesn’t excuse it. Also,
I hope “certain” here means anyone who has any sympathy whatsoever for others.
Maybe you could say something like “Chocolate” doesn’t meet the required minimum points to make it to the next round. Because it’s pretty obvious it’s not going to get any lazier and stupider with its fan service from here. Besides, you’re only 3 episodes in. There’s still time.
And I was hoping that the subs I read were a mistake regarding Imouto, but judging by the animation and sudden personality change of the twin-tailed girl, that’s going to be hard to prove.
Even if the translation is inaccurate, it’s hard to spin those words in a non-offensive way.
I told you it would get real in the third episode of Imouto!
No you didn’t!
I didn’t?! I THOUGHT I DID ;-;
No comment on the crab, though?
What difference does the crab make in terms of whether or not Imouto is a shitty harem?
It’s a crab bottle. It instantly powers up the show.
Man, bro, what about dat Ebiten?
Horrible.
Also, I’m just going to say it failed to meet the deadline for Harem Hill. Yeah, yeah, it takes too long for a subbed episode of Ebiten to come out. DQ’d from the start.
Man, so it was too bad even for you to attempt it week-to-week?
I’m watching 14-16 shows a week. The most accurate answer is that I’ve settled into a groove and don’t feel like squeezing in yet another show.
Man, don’t know how you do it, bro. I’m following four shows. I just dropped Moyashimon Returns because its so freaking boring, although I think I will pick NatsuVous back up again (why isn’t that name catching on yet???).
In actuality, it only means watching two to three shows a day. I stream to my friends and we shoot the shit about the bad shows.
At the moment, I’d say that it’s not a bad show to pick up. As for calling it NatsuVous, I wouldn’t know. I personally hate abbreviating anime titles. For example, HanaIro. For some reason, it just bugs me.
But it rhymes!
Anyway, you should definitely watch the show just so there’s another potential person to add to the discussion!
Freaking hilarious, every week.
Looks like Imouto is going to amass alot of points in week 4 too. TWO Child-hood Friend Cliches in a row, and the closing scene has to worth at least 500 or so points. And the plot-holes might be starting to pile up- one wonders whether Shougo asked Mr X to verify the stories of those two girls.
Don’t spoil the game for me, sir!
I never played the actual game (=. It’s just idle musings from Episode 4. Unless you haven’t watched it yet (=
I haven’t. I reserve Friday for watching the harems and then writing them up (with last weekend being the exception).
Chocolate: YEAH…I quit after episode 2. You’re basically entertaining me instead of the anime itself. Oh wait. There’s apparently little harem in the show anymore. NOW YOU CAN’T ENTERTAIN ME! (though how that hat made it to the river did make me lol)
Estetica: I apologize. I actually skipped the episode and went straight to Ep 4. The problem (aside from me skipping Ep 3)? I was supposed to drop it after Ep 2. So for no real reason, I’m blaming you. Sucks doesn’t it
Campione: Quit after Ep 2. But based on the kiss between Athena and Godou in your screencap, it looked hot. I think.
Dekinai: AW YEAH, this is what I’m talking abo–Oh wait, I dropped this too. Continue to entertain me E Minor.
Imouto: There is only one thing I can say: this is the absolute kind of dumb I…I can…get…behind (struggling to say the words)?
Ebiten: Y U NO LIKE SAINT SEIYA REFERENCES? Oh. I think I know why. It’s probably because Ebiten failed horrifically. In basically every aspect.
I’ve never seen Saint Seiya. Any references it had would have just gone over my head anyway.