Yes, I sip the haterade. I sip it well.
• Remember that Kirito’s only 16. The cold open is supposed to represent his fantasy… his fantasy of sitting in a rocking chair with his 17 year old e-waifu as the gentle breeze caresses her che–… 
• Yes, I know his real name isn’t Kirito. No, I’m not going to bother referring to him by his real name.
• An apple, a symbol of love and the heart (and sexual desire), finds itself mysteriously rolling on a table until it falls! No, not my subtlety-veiled metaphor. Anything but that! And so the apple shatters!–… er, from falling just three feet to the ground? In dramatic slow-motion too. So y’see, this is a very deep and powerful metaphor for how Kirito’s heart has been broken! His horror then metaphorically spills out from his broken heart and turns his dream world into a nightmarish phantasmagoria!
My bloodstained Aincrad!
• Well, at least Kirito’s honest about himself.
• Oh sweet, a new OP. *skip*
• I kid, I kid. I watched it. And you know what I saw? Elf ears. I see Kirito flying around with precious, little elf wings. But they’re black wings, ’cause c’mon, anything else would be gay, right?
Again, everyone’s going to be a goddamn elf. And they’ll fly. Y’know, when I made fun of Kirito for being a dual-wielding Gary Stu, I didn’t mean, “Go become Tinkerbell Sue.”
• Nyoron: “Did you notice in the picture you linked that the elf girl has a camel toe?” No, no I didn’t. I could’ve lived without that little nugget of information.
• Oh boy, Kirito has an “imouto.” This development is going to go places, ’cause if there’s anything anime has taught us, it’s that imoutos are multi-faceted characters with a lot to contribute. Nah, I’m just shitting you. The imouto probably has a crush on her brother. They always have a crush on their brothers.
• I have a feeling that someone’s going to chime in to tell me that Sugu’s really his cousin, but so what? Yeah, that totally makes it all better. I’m not a sister-fucker, I’m just a cousin-fucker.
• “Heh, this weak, little bamboo sword ain’t nuthin, sis. Come here so I can tell you all about the e-swords I was using in the MMO. Uh, what do you mean that doesn’t count? And they’re not imaginary, they’re digital!”
• So even though Kirito’s been bedridden for the past two years, he can still wield a sword like a badass after just a bit of rehab. Sure, he loses, but c’mon, who rehabs quickly enough to spar in kendo with an alleged quarterfinalist of said sport? According to Kirito himself, it’s only been two months since Heathcliff’s defeat. People who are bedridden for just a month can hardly walk afterwards, but I guess Kirito’s just too badass for that. Plus, he doesn’t have the luxury to wait, what with elfland looming on the horizon. Yeah, you show that plastic bottle who’s boss, Kirito-kun!
• Just two months after escaping from the best MMO ever, swordfighting is still “second nature” to Kirito. Uh-huh, I’ll bet. I mean, c’mon, I’m sure a virtual reality game does wonders for your muscle memory. In the future, star football players won’t be going to USC or Alabama. They’ll be playing virtual Madden.
• Sugu tightens up at the sound of Kirito visiting Asuna. I knew it. I fucking knew it. Another Gary Stu fanfiction where even his sister wants to bone him. Way to go, author.
• What’s this?! Is this Nobuyuki guy going to netorare our precious Asuna?! My heart is with you, brother!
• Ah yes, Heathcliff was never a suitable villain. He just lacked that certain je nais se quoi, which is apparently sniffing Asuna’s hair and licking his lips creepily at Kirito.
• Why would Nobuyuki tell Kirito anything before he completes his silly plan? Why not wait until his ceremony with the comatose Asuna comes and goes before rubbing his nefarious schemes into Kirito’s face? Well, I’ll tell you why. ‘Cause that’s what villains do. They’re full of hubris and always reveal everything to the protagonist. Since every crappy story does this, I guess I have to do it too. I’m a legitimate author, after all!
• So the company in charge of SAO went bankrupt, and had to turn their dangerous technology over to the authorities. Ha, I’m shitting you again. This is SAO, so why would people do a sensible thing like that? They’ll just turn it over to another company. What’s the worst that could happen? And what a coincidence! Nobuyuki just happens to be a high-ranking member of this company!
• “I accidentally told him about his dead mother and father. Hahaha, so funny.”
Seriously, what is up with this scene? What is so ticklish about this story?
• Aaaand now we get to see Sugu creepily yearning for her brother’s love.
• Sweet, under-aged cousin cleavage there, A-1 Pictures. Keep lowering that bar. Even in an episode that is supposed to be sad and tragic, anime just can’t help itself. Potentially losing your soul mate to a skeezy guy in a suit? Well, here’s some fanservice to perk you right up!
• WE HAVE TO GO BACK!
SHE’S STILL IN THERE! WE HAVE TO GO BACK! SHE’S MY IZANAMI!
…
Just let me finish fapping to the cousin’s cleavage real quick.
“Yeah, that totally makes it all better. I’m not a sister-fucker, I’m just a cousin-fucker”
Implying there’s something wrong with consensual incest.
You think I’m just implying? Damn…
But you know what is better ? A mother.
I’m happy you’re living the dream.
Pretty sure that is what you call “implying”, since you didn’t directly say it.
Implying I was serious in my previous comment.
Most people think there’s something wrong with incest, consensual or otherwise. There’s nothing weird about E Minor’s position – The only thing weird is how some anime fans seem to think that incest is the most normal thing in the world. Would it really kill anime to have a platonic siblings (you know, like how the overwhelming majority of the world’s siblings are like?) just once in awhile?
@e minor what Sugu did to asuna in this episode is just a minor ugly things compared to what he will do to her in the next episodes belive me he will be the most disgusting and dirty villain you sew. in fact you wont belive it but everyone hated this arc becouse of him.
…what did Sugu do to Asuna?
@e minor it so ugly but i will try say it in a easy way first of all like you seen he trapped asuna in anoudher world in a cage but it get worse becouse he will fondles her and licks her tears and more ugly stuff like that
Oh, my bad. Don’t mind my previous comment. I was confused because Sugu is very similar to Sugou, and I thought you were talking about the cousin.
Enjoy the suspense with me.
Ah, my page hadn’t refreshed and thus I didn’t see the elaboration.
I’m pretty sure my sister doesn’t want to one me, is there something wrong with her :/
Make that bone rather than one.
Give her the Clockwork Orange treatment.
She’ll come around.
Must be fun gaining an inner sickness to psudo-incestrous sex rather than actually getting used to it.
The current main team is Kirito, Yui and the sister/cousin. Oh, and she’s in love with him.
*Slowly takes glasses off and places them on the table with trembling hands.
*Looks at the computer screen while holding his chin with his right hand. His eyes seem out of focus.
*Facepalms with all his might.
Thanks for reminding about Yui.
SAO: Tropes in spades
I actually got bummed out by this update,though. Not because I thought SAO was going to suddenly be realistic as to show the brutality of waking to reality after living in a fantasy where you’re the ubermensch. No, no. I got bummed out because your lines of “they always have a crush on their brothers” and “just a cousin-fucker” made me realize how painfully true they are. They also revealed the second worst part of what otherwise would be a really damn good game: Persona 4.
-If you Max out Nanako’s SLink and meet her on the last day, the warm sibling bond suddenly changes when she says, “Someday I’ll marry you.”
Fine, she’s a kid. It’s excusable (I guess?). But then Dojima, her father and the Protag’s uncle, says, “You’re a stud [insert name]! But that will have to wait until you’re older.” Narrows his voice menacingly, “…Right?”
…Dude, what is it with the “We’re not really -brother- and -sister- by blood, so it’s okay” idea and anime?
Good game though, that P4 (after that moment is mentally expunged). That said, the SAO’s take on “muscle memory” makes sense to me. I was still able to summon my persona and masterfully wield a katana well after putting the controller down.
Maybe it’s just you that can’t retain videogame powers, E Minor.
Well y’know, it’s a game where you can make your decisions. Just don’t max out her social link then. I mean, the beauty of video games is that you essentially author your own experience, isn’t it?
Um, excuse me? Why do you think there are stars in the sky? Way to be ungrateful, jerk. Now if you’ll excuse me, I believe the King is calling for me.
I’m glad I’m not the only one who was disturbed by his mother’s laughter at revealing that he had no parents. Since it seems that players are able to create their own avatars in the new game, it would be funny if the blonde girl ends up being his sister/cousin.
Ding ding ding, tell this man what he’s won!
Wow. You are psychic.
And what makes the scene with the mother laughing about Kirito’s dead parents is the fact that they were laughing about it on his birthday.
To be honest, the new OP seemed to imply that there’s going to be a new love interest and that his sister was going to tag along. But that’s what happens when I give SAO the benefit of the doubt.
Er, I meant it makes the scene worse.
Spoilers, if anybody cares about this obnoxious show…
…
…
Do you mean the blonde girl? Cause she’s the sister/cousin. The black-haired girl tagging along is actually Yui. If you already knew this, my bad. In any case, the only girl who isn’t considered a love interest is literally physically too small to be a love interest.
No, I know. I figured it out by the OP’s end. Thats when I should stop hoping for something good from SAO other than a laugh.
I think it’s so obvious even for people who don’t read the LN. After Gary Stu is shown bonding together with the blonde elf for many scenes, it switches back to him and his imouto on the street, as if they are best partner / couple. SAO isn’t SAO if it’s hard to predict.
Let’s be real: I’m only in for the elf ears and incest this round.
…but really, I was wondering when they’d bring the IMOUTO factor in. Can’t do without it these days in any harem-I mean, er, action show! Yeah!
Action, harem… they’re all the same nowadays.
So, I’m guessing that he’s adapting to the change that has happened in the last 2 years, and maybe the traumatizing idea that he sees people die in front of him to the point of him being a murderer himself pretty quickly.
Who cares about rehabilitation therapy, psychological adjustments, and simply catching up on 2 years of school, family and life? I GOT A HOT IMOUTO LOVE INTEREST.
You’re worried too much about the details, man! Missed two years of school. No biggie. A hero doesn’t have homework. Psychological adjustments? It’s the goddamn Kirito! Oh yeah, two years of hospital costs must be expensive as hell, but I’m sure his family’s rich.
You see this magic wand? Poof! All those immersion-breaking things just went away.
Must be the cousin’s underage knockers that quickened the immersion-breaking.
@e minor but do you also agree it ugly things the bad guy going to do to asuna in the next episodes by what i said?
@e minor but do you also agree it ugly things the bad guy going to do to asuna in the next episodes by what i said?
SOA, now with family appeal!
Keep it in the family!
@e minor it so ugly but i will try say it in a easy way first of all like you seen he trapped asuna in anoudher world in a cage but it get worse becouse he will fondles her and licks her ears and her tears and more ugly stuff like that
No wonder normal people look down on anime when we got this one almost representing the whole medium. It just reeks of amateur plot, characters and tropes.
YESSS. This is it. This is it. The smartest anime ever created.
(according to kotaku.com, also mentioned in en.wikipedia.org)
Also, it’s rated 8.65 by 30,000 MAL users.
Smartest, my ass. No wonder general public give you weird look whenever they found out that you watch anime.
If you read through my entries for SAO, you can see me increasingly frustrate myself by trying to examine the smarter side of the show… up until we meet Lisbeth. That was the shark jumping moment for me. There was no going back after that.
Also, lol kotaku
LOL Tinkerbell Stu hahahaha you nailed it again dude, priceless!!!! XD
Your name keeps triggering WordPress’s spam filter.
Apologies :(
Basically, our villain is your Cookie Cuttter Sociopath.
I don’t actually find him unrealistic. Just boring and standard, and when it comes to that, the only saving grace is execution.