Wizard Barristers Ep. 7: A whole lot of nothing

wizard barristers 0705

Raspberries.

Episode summary: Butterfly Law Office is heading to Boston so that they can share their knowledge and experience with another law firm. Cecil then takes a trip to Canada. Natsuna is forced to come along. A whole lot of nothing happens. A whole lot of nothing happens some more. Then the girls run into the guys at the rival law office in some Canadian diner. The end.

Notes:

• Quinn: “The suspect fired at point-blank range and missed, but Shizumu landed all of his shots… What is this uneasiness I’m feeling?” Oh you know what it is. C’mon, you know. It’s like Shizumu’s a… magician!

• Meanwhile, Cecil needs to catch a plane to… Boston? Wha?

• In fact, the whole gang’s going to America. Well, not the whole gang, but most of them. I wonder what customs would say about familiars.

• Hachiya goes, “But this trip is only five days and three nights.” Wait what? Are the subs wrong or did he really say that?

• Wow, this is some first class shit:

wizard barristers 0701

• Idle banter on a plane… pretty dull scene.

• So both of Cecil’s parents are alive. Dad’s just somewhere off in America, apparently. I don’t even know; I’m just grasping at straws to find anything even remotely interesting about this episode. As you can probably tell, I’m not having much luck.

• Yes, “Welcome Butterfly Low Office.”

• Man, look at our killer billboards. One says “OPPORTUNITY.” The other says “FAMOUS BRANDS FAMOUSLY EASY.” What are these billboards trying to sell? Who knows!

• Really? Our heroes get picked up in a Volkswagen Bus? Of all the cars to choose from, this is the one you guys pick?

• Holy shit, look at the steering wheel on that thing:

wizard barristers 0702

Everything is bigger in my country!

• I thought we were going to Boston, so what’s with the “Holly wood Fwy” and “San pedro” exit signs. This looks suspiciously like southern California to me.

• Yay, montage of a law office. Riveting! The soundtrack during the montage sounds like something straight out of a visual novel.

• So while the rest of the girls go sightseeing in Boston… y’know, right down “Holly wood Fwy,” Cecil will apparently be taking a detour to Canada. That doesn’t seem like much of a detour, but hey, it’s a small world! Not only that, she’ll be taking a rental car to Canada. Oh, it gets even better. Cecil and Natsuna are driving from Boston all the way to Lake Huron. What the Christ? Yeah, just an 11-hour drive to Canada during our five days and three nights trip to America. What of it?

• So the car breaks down on the freeway, and we waste two minutes to learn that Natsuna knows her way around a car engine. Yep, I’m glued to my seat.

• Now the girls are sharing childhood stories.

• At the 14-minute mark, the girls come across a hitchhiker. Oh how convenient! Not only is the hitchhiker a cute girl, she’s also Japanese! Lucky! This means everyone can understand one another! It’s like we never even left Japan! So anyway, our hitchhiker’s name is Kaede, and she’s a cute Japanese girl somewhere between Boston and Lake Huron. Why? ‘Cause she’s even going the same way as our heroines! And to top it all off, she’s even studying to become a wizard barrister! Wow, Disneyland was right. It is a small world after all!

• The girls are now talking about their favorite horror-action movie, Lethal Vampire. There’s only about four or five minutes left in the episode. Fuck me.

• At the 17-minute mark, the girls stop at a store with a killer name:

wizard barristers 0703

Oh I’ve been there!

• Yes, I know the implication here is that Cecil started studying for the bar exam since she was 13, because she wanted to clear her mother’s name. This isn’t, well, very interesting. We kinda already knew this. Of course, we didn’t know Cecil’s exact age for when she started down the path to becoming a wizard barrister, but we all knew she is in it for her mom. The exact age is honestly an unimportant piece of information that only serves to add to Cecil’s “Mary Sue-ness.”

• Natsuna: “To get a guy, you have to get them by the stomach first.” Or, y’know, a guy could cook for himself and not reject a girl with tons of great qualities just because she can’t cook.

• Out of nowhere, we learn that Natsuna has an unrequited love for one of her former professors. Ah geez…

• And now they’re stargazing.

speechless

• So anyway, the cat’s finally out of the bag: Cecil tells the other two girls about her mom’s situation. Boy, can you imagine how Natsuna must be feeling at this very moment? She’s been giving Cecil shit all series long because she thinks the young girl’s full of herself or something. But whammo, it turns out Cecil’s only a prodigy because she has to be. Wooboy, Natsuna must feel like a total jackass… yeah, in terms of analysis, I’ve got nothing.

• Man, I just don’t care about Natsuna. I equally don’t care about her budding friendship with Cecil. Who gives a shit? What about the weirdo Wud prophecies? What about Shizumu’s two-faced character? What about something actually related to the goddamn law? Nope, nope, we gotta go on a camping trip with three cute girls instead!

• Oh boy! The girls have finally made it to Canada! And they’re hungry. Might I suggest poutine?

• Of course, in a Canadian diner, the girls come across Geah Grim, the notorious serial killer that they were warned about in Boston. But who else should they find there?!

wizard barristers 0704

The guys from the rival law office!

• Somebody just shoot me please.

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3 thoughts on “Wizard Barristers Ep. 7: A whole lot of nothing

  1. IonCaron (@IonCaron)

    Hey, remember when this show was about magic in the court of law and involved barristers?
    What the hell happened?

    Your review saved me from dieing from boredom. 20min wasted on characters “doing things” and false character development. wow. I swear that the writing in this show is heavily deteriorating fast. The cases were never much to write home about, but now they’ve dropped them completely, along with action and plot development. I’m firmly convinced the writer of this show is just adapting their niece’s stories for the screen.
    -And I’m starting to think that the hitchhiker is likely a part of the upcoming plot, maybe a plant from the two rival barristers or just a face that needs to die the next episode to give the drama a false sense of weight, but fuck that. It’s still contrived and stupid.

    “Natsuna: “To get a guy, you have to get them by the stomach first.” Or, y’know, a guy could cook for himself and not reject a girl with tons of great qualities just because she can’t cook.”
    Not only do I agree, but I’d like to add that if said girl also had magic powers as a quality, almost all superficial stuff goes to the wayside. haha

    Though I guess in the end something useful was learned, but it was just a small fact about Cecil:
    When asked about the hitchhiker, Cecil says it’s fine because she’s a girl (because girls are never killers, right?) and Japanese (because Japanese people never kill each other, right?) and that, either way, they “can just use magic”.
    –It’s like someone that thinks they’re always safe because they carry a .45. She’s starting to get in a horrible habit of “magic solves everything”, as…some character or another (I forget) had warned.
    Then again, seeing as how the show keeps proving this point, I can’t blame her logic.

    I wonder what would happen if Law and Order took whole episodes out to just have characters meander about and shoot the shit with no real payoff? No courtrooms, no crime scenes. Just have McCoy and Briscoe take an 11hr ride up Canada way…
    SOUNDS SO EXCITING!!!

    Reply
    1. E Minor Post author

      The cases were never much to write home about, but now they’ve dropped them completely,

      Wizard Barristers probably guesses rightly that most of its audience doesn’t really give a shit about the cases. As such, more slice-of-lifey bullshit with Cecil is the name of the game.

      Not only do I agree, but I’d like to add that if said girl also had magic powers as a quality, almost all superficial stuff goes to the wayside. haha

      Hey now, cooking’s not superficial! I can cook. I can make a mean pasta dish.

      She’s starting to get in a horrible habit of “magic solves everything”,

      There’s nothing wrong with using magic in the first place unless it’s being done ethically. The only problem lies in the fact that the anime keeps pretending as though it wants to criticize Cecil, but we know it absolutely does not.

      wonder what would happen if Law and Order took whole episodes out to just have characters meander about and shoot the shit with no real payoff? No courtrooms, no crime scenes. Just have McCoy and Briscoe take an 11hr ride up Canada way…

      Well, I don’t think Briscoe would be fondling McCoy’s dick randomly as a form of fanservice, so we’re kinda talking apples and oranges here.

      Reply
      1. IonCaron (@IonCaron)

        “Well, I don’t think Briscoe would be fondling McCoy’s dick randomly as a form of fanservice, so we’re kinda talking apples and oranges here.”
        Oh dear God the mental imagery! Hahaha!! You certaintly do have a point, mate

        Reply

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