At the moment, I’m about a little over halfway through the episode. I decided to take a short break because I really couldn’t believe what was happening before my very eyes. Alright, I will admit that the first half of the episode actually does a pretty decent job of setting the mood and establishing an intriguing atmosphere. On Ryota’s way to see Neko, he spots a bunch of Self-Defense Force vehicles driving by. Unbeknownst to our hero, two girls are naked and bound in one of those vehicles. It’s a little exploitative (is it really necessary for them to be naked?), but it also tells you that this top secret lab that these girls had once escaped from are not messing around.
When Ryota finally locates Neko, he finds her hidden away in some abandoned village. Sure, she’s doing some cheesy song and dance as she hangs up some laundry to dry, but it’s no big deal. Our heroine warns Ryota to stay away from her lest he wants to die ’cause those big, bad military people will kill him if they find out he’s been associating with her. In the distance, a strange cry suddenly rings out from one of the nearby buildings. Not only that, the cry sounds rather inhuman. Still, Neko remains secretive. She even blows up a chunk of the ground near Ryota’s feet to scare the dork away. Our protagonist initially aims to leave the village, but he eventually thinks better of it. He then sneaks into the building to investigate the source of the inhuman-sounding cry. From his perspective, it looks as though Neko is having a one-sided conversation with no one in particular. Oooh, how spooky.
So okay, let’s take stock. We just saw some military people drive off with two girls bound and gagged in one of their vehicles. That’s pretty messed up. That thing that cried out for help also sounded pretty messed up. Neko is clearly hiding something that she doesn’t want the world to know. To top it all off, she’s hiding her secret away in a dark, rundown building. Everything is right there! All the horror elements are right fucking there! Is this the most original set-up? No. Am I even scared at the moment? No. But you know what? The show had my attention. Had. When Neko leaves the room to go get a glass of water, Ryota slips by to find out whom Neko had been talking to. The guy even stares into the camera and gasps. Can you guess? Can you guess whom Neko’s been talking to?
A fucking girl in a gothic lolita outfit. Okay, okay. It’s not the end of the world. This could be one of those creepy-ass dolls or something. You never know! Maybe it’ll be an homage to Le Portrait de Petit Cossette! It’s improbable, but not impossible! But no, as soon as the gothic lolita girl is allowed to speak through a electronic device, everything goes downhill from here:
Kano: “What were you doing sneaking into my room? I thought I was gonna get raped! You hypocrite! How the hell does a peeping tom become a hypocrite, anyway? … Why’d we save such a perv?”
Great. That’s just great. There’s nothing potentially creepy or disturbing here. What you see is exactly what you get. It’s just a fucking tsuntsun girl in a fucking gothic lolita outfit.
Still, I press on; I keep watching. The next day at school, the teacher calls on Neko to read out a passage from a book to the whole class. Welp, it turns out our heroine can read about as well as she can do her multiplication, so Ryota concocts an excuse to save Neko from the oh-so-embarrassing situation. Don’t forget the suitably wacky music in the background as well! This is where I decided to take a break and write all the words that you see above. I can’t, man. I just can’t. It’s like reading a real page-turning thriller, then when you get to the next chapter, the book suddenly turns into 50 Fucking Shades of Grey. Why, cruel anime gods, why? Why must you hurt people like this?
I may as well finish the episode. So gothic lolita girl gives Neko a ring and lets our heroine know that some lady will die in fifteen minutes unless something’s done about it. We then get treated to cheesy running montage as Neko and Ryota hurry to save this lady. Don’t worry, the lady doesn’t die. The resolution to this particular excursion is also cheesy as hell. Yawn.
We suddenly cut to Kanade, one of the bound and gagged girls from earlier in the episode. She’s now strapped to some operating table as a creepy guy interrogates her. He demands to know the location of the rest of the witches, but Kanade feigns ignorance (or maybe she doesn’t really know but I doubt it). So the guy removes from her neck that thing on the back of all the witches’ necks. You can see what I’m talking in the screenshot directly above. Apparently, removing this metal screw thing causes a witch to liquify into a white, gloopy soup. I’d be suitably disturbed if the anime hadn’t already ruined the atmosphere of the episode, but it did so here we are. I’m just staring at liquified shoujo. Plus, the OP already told us this would happen, so the scene doesn’t even have the surprise factor going for it.
Still, you’d think the episode would cut its losses and end on a high note. Honestly, how can you top liquified shoujo, y’know? But oh no, we’re not done with the silly stuff yet. Y’see, gothic lolita girl is hungry and she’s tired of eating wild mountain herbs. Well, guess who shows up to save the day! Good ol’ Ryota! He’s even bought the girls caeki! Motherfuckin’ caeki! And y’know, to mirror the liquified shoujo, Neko proceeds to liquify all the caeki in a blender in order to feed it to gothic lolita girl. There’s one caeki left for our hero, but then the girls pout at him. Uguu, Ryota-kun, you won’t let this tsuntsun girl liquify all of the delicious caeki? So he relents, because gosh, for some reason, he totally wishes he could stay with these two forever in this dark, dank building!
Afterwards, Neko tells our hero that she would love to go on the school field trip to the beach. Not for him or anything like that–… UGUU, DON’T GET THE WRONG IDEA, BAKA! But then our heroine gets a nosebleed so she doesn’t show up to class the next day again. Ho hum.