Everything Else, Spring ’14, Week 4: T-two friends at once?!

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Uh, looking good there… In other news, I’m going to leave JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure out from now on. Sure, I’ll keep watching it, but try as I might, I just have nothing to say about the show. I even went and read about the show on other blogs, but none of those posts seem like anything I’d ever want to write myself. It’s not a slight. It’s just a difference in how we operate. So there we go.

Atelier Escha & Logy – Alchemists of the Dusk Sky Ep. 3

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Our quest this week is to explore these ruins over here, because somehow, a village’s entire supply of water runs through it! Whoops, we run into a golem, but it’s okay! Good guys are everywhere, and they’ll certainly help us defeat the big, bad golem!

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You get to be the good guys!

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And you get to be a good, uh, gal!

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And you get to be the good guys too! And even though Nio’s sister is wanted by the Central, it’s just one silly misunderstanding, and she’s truly a good person too! There isn’t a single ill-intent in this entire anime!

Bokura wa Minna Kawaisou Ep. 4

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Sayaka is evil, Kazunari tries way too hard, Ritsu is an introverted tsundere, and somehow the giant pervert ends up being the wise man. What’s new, right? Right. This anime just hates progress, so we’ll slowly inch our way to the finish line where the tsundere bookworm will suddenly realize that she’s been in love with the clingy bastard all along.

Fuuun Ishin Dai Shogun Ep. 3

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As always, this is a pretty stupid episode. Susanoo finally reveals its true powers when Chiharu sits in Keiichiro’s lap. Somehow, this makes Kiriko secretly jealous because she really wishes it had been her in Chiharu’s place instead. The evil lady then gets turned on by the sight of the unleashed Susanoo. What exactly is the anime going for here? Am I supposed to be turned on by her rubbing her comically large breasts? Or am I supposed to laugh at the idea of a woman being turned on by a mecha? In the meantime, there’s a bunch of unsexy qusai-lesbian scenes littered throughout the episode, but I’ve no idea why I would ever resort to a PG-13 anime for titillation.

So I got curious. I wanted to know what exactly other people saw in this anime? As a result, I took a look around, and other bloggers apparently found this shit incredibly funny. Yeah… I don’t think I’ve laughed once in all three episodes.

Kindaichi Case Files R Ep. 4

The mystery has more or less been solved last week, so this is really just an episode to tie up the loose ends. Of course, I’m only watching this for the mysteries, so Ran Yan’s tragic backstory makes no lick of difference to me. Anyway, I just want to add that this sudden bit of nationalism really made me laugh:

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As well as this goofy-ass face:

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I know I already used this screenshot at the start of the post, but I can’t help it. It’s just so fucking goofy. Alright, alright, onward to the next case, please.

Mekakucity Actors Ep. 3

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I guess this episode is slightly more enjoyable to watch than the first two. By this, I mostly mean that the characters actually spend the majority of the episode speaking to each other instead of being trapped in their own neurotic heads, a fate typical of most Shaft characters. It’s just that the second half of this episode is nothing more than a retelling of the second half of the first episode. Sure, we get to know the rest of the team, but… c’mon, that by itself doesn’t make an episode interesting to watch. Especially not when one of the characters is a clumsy crybaby of a girl who needs other people to protect her. After three weeks, an overarching plot has yet to take shape. Oh sure, there are hints here and there of something deeper, but really, you’re just watching a cast of beautiful misfits and the powers that make them unique from the rest of the conforming masses. Not good enough, man. Just not good enough.

Nobunaga the Fool Ep. 16

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Well, both Caesar and Mitsuhide are now stranded on the Star of the West. I’m really only watching at this point to see how these two will die. Well, that’s assuming they stick to history, of course, but last I checked, Machiavelli wasn’t a pathetic woman. So who knows! Maybe Caesar will get back to Ichihime one day. Sad to say, if I had to pick between the two, I think I’d rather Mitsuhide bite the dust even I’m personally not too keen on Caesar either. Oh well!

By the way, the short bit of contrived drama at the start of the episode is really dumb. By this, I’m talking about Jeanne’s bout of insecurity: “Is it because Nobunaga came here? Is it true that Nobunaga is… That can’t be true. It can’t. But I saw it with my own eyes…” Right, because the guy traveled to another star just to save your dumb ass, and might have inadvertently caused the village to be destroyed — might is the keyword here — all of a sudden, he’s the Destroyer-King! To have this title, you don’t actually have to destroy anything by your own hands. You just have to show up! Yeah, that’s just stupid as fuck.

selector infected WIXOSS Ep. 4

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Akira still wants to battle Ruuko, so she pays a visit to our heroine’s school. Unfortunately, our heroine keeps going home early! Gosh, what a darn pity! But y’see, Akira’s popular. And because she’s popular, the girls at Ruuko’s school will do anything for her. Wow, what a bunch of sheep! Yazuki realizes that Ruuko’s classmates will thus do whatever it takes to get Ruuko to battle Akira. No, you don’t get it. Whatever it takes, man. All of sudden, Ruuko is being chased through the hallways of her school by a pack of Akira’s minions. After all, if she gets caught… if she gets caught… uh… well, actually, what actually would happen if she gets caught? Seriously, I don’t even get it.

First, Ruuko and Yazuki already know that they can just turn down Akira’s request for a battle. What is Akira going to do? Force Ruuko to battle? Hold a gun to her head? Second, what exactly can Akira’s minions do either? Tie Ruuko up and carry her kicking and screaming to Akira? Give her a swirlie if she doesn’t comply? I just don’t fucking get it. What are our heroines even running from? Third, what exactly are wrong with Akira’s minions? Ugh, this popular model wants Ruuko’s attention so badly. I’ll definitely waste my time and energy to literally chase Ruuko down just for… just for… what exactly? They think doing this will make Akira like them? Do we really think high school girls are this retarded and shallow? No, really, is this what we think of schoolgirls? Did a grown ass woman actually write this fucking travesty of a story?

And at the end of it all, Ruuko’s just like, “It’s okay, Yazuki. I’ll just go and battle her.” Yeah, you better! Or else! And would you like to see Yazuki’s response?

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“Well, gurl, sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do!”

But when Ruuko goes to challenge Akira, Iona crashes the party and gets all up in Ruuko’s grill. Oh my, yuri undertones… After all, an anime isn’t worth shit unless you can force retarded couplings all over the place. Anyway, Iona can sense a person’s wish, and she realizes that Ruuko has no wish! Therefore, Ruuko shouldn’t battle! Battling without a wish is blasphemy!

Soredemo Sekai wa Utsukushii Ep. 4

Endure, my poor princess! Endure! You must force yourself to wear a terribly constricting corset, because it is the height of fashion! After all, a princess can’t go around dressed like that! You must be demure yet sexy. I don’t know how, but a good woman should be able to do it all!

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You must then actually starve yourself in order to lose a couple inches on your waist! Yes, starve. I’m hardly speaking hyperbolically here like how some people with poor willpower will whine about a perfectly adequate chicken salad (without the ranch dressing, of course). Nope, you will be fed nothing but literally a few kernels of corn.

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After all, nobody wants a fat ass! Or a chubby girl. Or a normal-sized girl. Or a girl who is already thin like yourself. I know, I know, it sounds like we don’t want any girl, but trust us! We do! You just have to be this tiny. It’s not that bad!

Finally, you must undergo a cruel and bizarre ritual to prove yourself worthy of a man boy you never really wanted to marry in the first place!

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Tsk tsk, you are in a new country, after all. So what if your betrothed is literally emperor of his own kingdom? He simply cannot do anything about the contemptuous Ministry of Preisthood! D-do you expect him to set a new precedent and not placate those evildoers? Puh-leeze, that’s just creating trouble for your future husband.

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Like I’ve said, it is your duty as a woman to endure!

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5 thoughts on “Everything Else, Spring ’14, Week 4: T-two friends at once?!

  1. flamerounin

    Wow! Akira in Wixoss could easily fit in as a standard viliain in a Filipino teenage soap opera with that kidnapping stunt of hers (I am Filipino, and I tell you those characters are just plain horrid.)

  2. Soulstriker R Vanquish

    I think Susanoo’s appearance and power is wasted on the way everything goes in Fuuun Ishin Dai Shogun. I don’t remember laughing at their jokes either. I thought Graham Aker (Gundam 00) saying he’s in love with a Gundam was awkward. But that lady getting turned on at Susanoo… the world of anime keeps getting more awkward.

    Idk if there are a separate articles (or non at all) about Daimidaler but I’m too lazy to check around so I’ll put the comment here too. They’re using the idea of Daimidaler having to use High Ero particles to justify sexual harassment… and is it just me, or are the penguins slightly more decent by comparison to the Parlor people?


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