Everything Else, Spring ’14, Week 7: Harem Hill is leaking

Kanojo ga Flag wo Oraretara - 0701

Fine, fine. I’ll do the damn flag show this week. I’m not going to do an extended recap, though.

Bokura wa Minna Kawaisou Ep. 6 & 7

Bokura wa Minna Kawaisou - 0701

Nothing ever really happens in shows of this nature. The sixth episode involves some little girl who thinks she’s in love with Shiro, but luckily, the pervert is just a pervert and not a child rapist. So that’s good, I guess… Speaking of perverts, the first half of the seventh episode deals with a serial flasher. Apparently, some creepy guy has been showing his junk to random women he meets in public. You can tell where this is going. Ritsu always has her head buried in her books, right? So if a dangerous person ever pulls down his pants around her, what ever will she do! Meh… In the second half of the episode, Kazunari gets roped into taking on a part-time job he never really wanted, but because Ritsu is into old-timey uniforms, he reluctantly agrees to it anyway. Yeah, that’s pretty silly.

If they were dating, then maybe I’d understand taking on a part-time job you likely won’t even enjoy. Maybe. No, actually, I still wouldn’t understand it. Considering how Ritsu still has a hard time just having a casual conversation with the guy, it’s just laughable to see what lengths he’ll go to in order to please the girl. Nevertheless, I’m sure he gives hope to all the idiots out there who thinks they’re being friend-zoned (psst, she’s just not into you). After all, it’s fiction so he’ll get the girl in the end. So as a result, people will think this could be them as well! They’ll just have try harder — sacrifice harder — and the girl will come around eventually! Especially those cute, quiet ones who read books all day… sigh…

Kanojo ga Flag o Oraretara Ep. 7

I don’t know why some of you guys wanted me to “review” this episode so badly. All that happens is two more girls are now in love with the harem lead. And it’s the same thing every time too. Oh man, this girl doesn’t have a flag. It’s so much easier to interact with people when they don’t have flags on their head! Welp, time to blow her mind with a compliment!

Kanojo ga Flag wo Oraretara - 0707

Aw shit, what the fuck! Now she has a flag too! Man, who would’ve guessed! As you can see from the screenshot above, Souta gets to woo Mimori at the start of this week’s episode. If you’ll recall, this dashing harem lead got himself yet another sister after of last week’s shenanigans. So he’s up to… what, three siblings now? Well, four if you count Sakura, the mysterious girl who had given him his flag-seeing powers. And they’re all girls too because boys are just icky! Other boys, that is. And like every God-fearing Mormon family, all of Souta’s haremettes must live under the same roof! There’s just one problem: Kurumiko’s a child. She has no reason to live at Quest Hall… unless, Souta goes on a date with Mimori! And yes, one compliment was literally all it took to win her over. Yawn.

Afterwards, Ridiculously-Long-Surname Mei shows up and it’s her turn to fall in love with Souta. Yeah, she’s supposedly from a different world or some shit. I don’t even know anymore. Nevertheless, she has the same silly power that he has. You’ll notice, however, that the tone of the story has taken a turn for the serious. Mei takes Souta to another dimension in which none of his haremettes recognize him. How horrific, I know. But it gets worse! In this same dimension, Nanami gets killed at the very start of the series by the runaway truck! Not only that, Akane falls to her death in the rundown Quest Hall. After all, without Souta around, who’s there to save these poor haremettes? It’s like an anime version of It’s A Wonderful Life but Jimmy Stewart has been replaced with a bland harem lead!

Kanojo ga Flag wo Oraretara - 0702

But wait a minute, what the hell is Akane even doing in the rundown Quest Hall anyway? Without Souta, she has no reason to even go there. But whatever. The details are obviously not important. What’s important is that Souta sees his poor haremettes all dying, and these sights all shock him to his very core. Boy, you just gotta feel for those poor harem leads. Eventually, Mei takes Souta to a sinking cruise ship. Naturally, you think our hero has gone back in time, but just hold on for a second. There, he thinks he has found a young version of himself just cowering in one of the ship’s halls. Souta thus goes forward, and encourages his younger self to live on! Fight on! So that you can meet all those special people!

Again, all girls. Icky boys need not apply. Well, if you simply have to apply, you better be a trap. But whoops, it’s not him at all. It’s his teacher Miyuki. But wait, this version of Miyuki is a descendent of… him! Now, you’re probably wondering what’s going on. I would too if I cared. But I guess Mei’s point is that our bland harem lead has the power to change the course of the world. His flag-seeing ability allows him to alter people’s fates! And that’s why she has to keep a close eye on him! He’s just so, so very powerful, and Mei has to make sure he bears no ill will towards the world! Well, of course he fucking doesn’t. When Mei tries to literally pull Souta’s death flag off of his head, she gets a glimpse of his despair. She then realizes that the flag-seeing ability is a curse because Souta feels as though he’s responsible for everyone’s well-being. And because Souta has shouldered that burden for so long…

Kanojo ga Flag wo Oraretara - 0704

…yep, Mei falls in love with him too. Ridiculous. So then Sakura shows up out of nowhere, and seals Mei’s memories. And by everything, it includes all the shit she knows about the House of Seven Virtues, her own flag-seeing ability — yep, she loses it — and why they’re even on the rooftop! But you can bet your ass one thing definitely did not get erased. That’s right! Souta has won this haremette over for life! But since she no longer knows jack shit about all the important plot stuff, she can join the rest of the girls in being stupid. Like, y’know, getting a sea cucumber stuck between her breasts, ’cause that’s the fucking height of comedy.

Nobunaga the Fool Ep. 19

So after getting his ass soundly kicked by Alexander, Nobunaga will have to make a quick detour to Yomotsuhirasaka where he can acquire the power of a dragon. Oh yeah, this Yomotsuhirasaka place will also double as the land of the dead, so you know what that means…

Nobunaga the Fool - 1903

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ raise your personal demons ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ

Nobunaga the Fool - 1904

In fact, everyone gets to face their demons. Kenshin gets to face his demons, which is apparently his lack of humility or something.

Nobunaga the Fool - 1905

Our hero has to confront the people he failed to protect.

Nobunaga the Fool - 1906

Hell, Mitsuhide didn’t come along on the trip to Yomotsuhirasaka, but he still gets personal shit of his own to deal with.

Nobunaga the Fool - 1907

Last but not least, even Jeanne gets to-… whoa, hold up there, baka gaijin! I’m sorry, but you’ll have to face your demons out here! Now strip down to the nude and let us whip you… sexily:

Nobunaga the Fool - 1908

Yeah, this is seriously what happens. But we’ll get back to Jeanne in a bit, I promise.

Anyway, it’s pretty obvious why Kenshin has tagged along with Nobunaga and his faithful retainer. After all, the story hypes Yomotsuhirasaka up to be this scary place where if you fail, you’ll never leave. On the other hand, however, Nobunaga’s the main character, so he can’t fail. Likewise, Jeanne’s his main squeeze, so she can’t fail either. It’s obvious, then, isn’t it? You can’t just have two people waltz into the land of the dead, acquire superpowers, then walk out scot-free. Someone has to pay! And, well, pay he does:

Nobunaga the Fool - 1909

Kenshin ends up maiming himself when he goes to strike his dragon, so it’s this zen-like shit where you have to accept your personal weaknesses and failures in order to become stronger in life.

Nobunaga the Fool - 1910

Naturally, Nobunaga succeeds where Kenshin could not. And in the process, he gains honor, I guess. Neat-o. Now, let’s get back to our suddenly naked bombshell getting whipped by the ghosts of her former villagers simply because she doesn’t accept that her prophecies are a part of herself. Somehow, this also involves a spiny vine rubbing up against her breasts. Yeah, really:

Nobunaga the Fool - 1911

It’s great that our hero could overcome his demons. That’s really cool! What I find especially weak, however, is that Jeanne doesn’t get to succeed on her own terms. Nope. She totally would’ve given up had Nobunaga not managed to pass his trials and thus call out to the girl just in time. As a result…

Nobunaga the Fool - 1902

C’mon, man…

selector infected WIXOSS Ep. 7

selector infected WIXOSS - 0701

Just look at these lines:

“I felt it. I understood it. I savored it. That feeling… It was the first time I ever really felt alive.”

“Once you feel that excitement, there’s no way you can quit.”

“Try as you might, you can’t keep the urge down… You want it… You want to DO it, right?”

Can you get a high from playing WIXOSS as if it is a drug? You could explain the high through some sort of magical mumbo-jumbo, but the idea would still sound ridiculous. The fact of the matter is, the comparison simply doesn’t offer us anything revelatory about the nature of addiction, so it would be a hollow analogy. The drug angle simply doesn’t work. What else might the anime be going for then?

Well, the way Iona would have you believe it, she and Ruuko are just a pair of poor girls trapped in a world without any purpose. With their senses dulled by their first-world trappings, battling is simply the only way they can feel alive! Now, this particular angle might make any damn sense if the whole “their senses [are] dulled by their first-world trappings” had actually been portrayed with any efficacy. But it simply has not been. Iona’s a fucking model for Christ’s sakes. She’s not exactly a pitiful girl ensnared in the banality of suburbia or some shit like that. Likewise, Ruuko doesn’t have it all that bad either. There’s nothing here to make me think, “Oh man, I can totally get why these girls feel the need to put their dreams on the line in order to feel alive.

selector infected WIXOSS - 0702

Anyway, Ruuko manages to win against Iona, but the latter isn’t mad or bummed out by the results. In fact, she’s positively elated as she keeps repeating to herself, “I’ve found it!” Found what? Meh, I guess we’ll just have to wait and see. Elsewhere, Yazuki has been ignoring everyone’s attempts to contact her since she’s too busy looking for other Selectors to battle. But honestly, who cares about that incest-loving reject? Eventually, she meets up with Ruuko and tells her friend that Akira wants to meet both of them at some sketchy location. And you know what? Ruuko goes along with it! Cool! I’m so scared, but man, I’m just too stupid to turn anyone down! Even when it’s obvious that I’m just walking into trouble! Oh well, Akira finally shows up in the episode, and–… wait, hold up. She’s lost three times right? So her wish has been reversed, right? Okay, well, she’s always wanted to be a popular idol, so you would think that a reversal of Akira’s wish would render her ugly and ghastly to look at. Well, you’d also be wrong:

selector infected WIXOSS - 0703

Anime has no fucking guts, man! If you’re going to make a girl ugly, you could do a whole lot better than this sorry-ass attempt. But ah, we simply can’t scar a cute girl that badly! You still have to be able to recognize that she’s cute! Oh man, whatever.

12 thoughts on “Everything Else, Spring ’14, Week 7: Harem Hill is leaking

  1. Jovian Dreamer

    I’m ashamed to admit that sex was the first thing I thought of instead of the drug angle. My mind is so dirty. I don’t know if you wrote something like that about Weaksauce prior to this post, but could this be like a sexual awakening kind of thing? Nah, that doesn’t make sense. They totally should have gone with that though. Little teenage girls playing competitive card games as a metaphor for sex. Agh… my mind is too dirty. Anime has corrupted my mind with sinful desires of people that don’t exist!

    1. E Minor Post author

      I can’t really see the sex angle because the show isn’t particularly sexual. The LRIGs are scantily-clad, I guess, but in a very inert sort of way that you come to expect from anime.

      1. Alberenza

        I would personally be inclined to go for the sex angle, since the card game is a recreational activity between two people whereas with drugs, you can get high alone.

        My initial reaction upon seeing that scene was ‘Hey viewers, this card game is so good that you’ll want to play it forever!’
        But not that it really matters, it’s just dodgy writing.

        Incidentally, I was under the impression that Akira wanted to ruin Iona’s career with her wish rather than bolster her own. Surely Iona should now be the most popular idol that ever lived? But nope, a *shocking* scar. Truly, being a selector is suffering. They put so much at risk! And to think some people would have taken this opportunity to wish for world peace or something.

        1. E Minor Post author

          The sex angle might very well be what the story is going for. All I’m saying is that if the story is really trying to allude to sex, it’s also doing a poor job because any hint of sex is almost completely absent from the show besides these lines.

  2. IonCaron (@IonCaron)

    Nisekoi: “the locket is still broken.” At this point I’d have pried it open with a knife or just smashed the thing with a hammer. This is beyond the abyss of ridiculous.
    “Now, Chitoge can be a bitch all she wants, but as soon as Tofu even looks down(s),”
    It’s the subtle things like this that make me laugh the hardest. haha!
    -That episode, man. It’s like some writer last time looked over his shoulder, noticed the producer wasn’t around, and snuck in a chance at actual character development last time. He thought, “Raku is idiotic and would say this, and the only way to come back from this is to realize his faults and actually try to change into a fucking human being for Chitoge’s sake! Yes! It can’t fail!”
    And then the team came back from lunch, the producer beat him to death, and they all continued on in typical Nisekoi style.

    So, serious question: Tofu or Myuri (or “Tofu VS TuTuRuu~”)? One is written as delightfully dense while the other is written as legitimately retarded.
    Which is more unbearable?

    Can’t comment on the other one. Your last line says it all in all, I’d think. haha
    Nice work, mate

    1. IonCaron (@IonCaron)

      Oops. Replied to the wrong Harem Hill. My bad.
      Anyway, since I’m posting here too:
      “They’ll just have try harder — sacrifice harder — and the girl will come around eventually! Especially those cute, quiet ones who read books all day… sigh…”
      HAha! Come on, now, don’t be so cynical. It’s like they say, “If at first she doesn’t love you, keep trying harder and HArder and HARDer and HARDER AND etc.”

      Flag: Is it any wonder people wanted you to continue with this show? You’re really damn entertaining with it. haha

      But man, I can’t stop staring at the baby bonnet loli. I just… It’s like staring into a blackhole of moe bullshit

      NobuFool: Man I feel like a FOOL for having missed the last few updates on this one.
      A-anyway, what the hell is up with the Jeanne segments? Did someone awkward get too aroused in the scripting phase and they just rolled with it? It’s just awful in the worst ways.
      Nobu seeing a giant version of his grinning dad yelling at him is awful in a great way, though.

      I’m just disappointed no one got to summon their personas…

      selector infected Weaksauce: Seams that disappointment is the current flavor of most anime, huh?

      Welp, thank God for Mushishi.
      And JoJo, I guess. Never was into that stuff though.

      Anyway my hands are killin’ me now haha Again, Nice work mate!

    2. E Minor Post author

      Or, y’know, to fix the locket, the person doing the job likely would have to open it. But alas, who knows what that person is doing right now seeing as how we haven’t seen the locket since.

      So, serious question: Tofu or Myuri

      I made fun of Mayuri because people legitimately got so attached to her that I just had to. With Tofu though, I just really hate that dumb look she gives every time the anime tries to portray her as the cutest girl in the world. Instead, however, I just think, “No girl who looks that dumb can be cute.”

  3. Mocha

    It’s funny you liken Wixoss to drugs, because from the language they use (“do it”) and from Iona’s body language when she first confronted Ruuko in her studio, it seems that the angle they’re going for is sex. But either way, the drugs/sex metaphor probably exists to show that playing Wixoss feels great and you can’t stop. Hopefully they’ll reveal more of Ruuko’s past soon and why she finds Wixoss so enjoyable.

  4. Soulstriker R Vanquish

    Nobunaga the Fool:
    Hideyoshi actually survived… I wouldn’t mind if he was dead.

    “Jeanne doesn’t get to succeed on her own terms.” “She totally would’ve given up had Nobunaga not managed to pass his trials and thus call out to the girl just in time.”

    Too bad for Kenshin he doesn’t have a buddy to knock some sense into him. He’s either dead by now, or during a major battle he’s gonna show up late to steal all the glory (or fantastically fail and die anyway).


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