Oh boy, it’s Moe Sucks’ 1000th post extravanganza! And what do you guys win? A wrap-up of Spring’s worst series! Congrats!
— The dumbest thing about Takuto’s betrayal isn’t even the fact that he’s dooming himself and the rest of Tokyo in order to get his revenge on Rentaro. After all, maybe the guy is deranged. Unlikely, but if that’s the case, then why would he give a shit about himself or Tokyo? Rather, what’s utterly retarded is that he’s managed to convince other people to help him. One deranged individual? Sure. A bunch of them agreeing to doom themselves for one man’s mad quest for vengeance? Yeah… But it’s evident Black Bullet cares more about the twist than anything else. Just the fact that Takuto could show up and sabotage the entire operation is all the story cares about! Likewise, how plausible is it that Kagetane would now be working with the good guys? Not very, but the twist! The twist of him showing up out of nowhere to save Rentaro’s life! A story that relies on such cheap tricks for thrills is, well, cheap itself. By the way, the guy doesn’t even show up again for the rest of the story. Good stuff.
— Oh dear, what are we to do without any light? Out of nowhere, a bunch of floating lanterns descend from the sky and illuminate the area. These things are from the citizens of Tokyo, apparently. Even Cursed Children are amongst them. Don’t you just wanna go “Awwww!” at the sight of everyone working together in a crisis! They’re sending their hope Rentaro’s way (barf). Too bad the logistics don’t make very much sense. You’re telling me that people all sat together and gathered a bunch of material to make these floating lanterns? Yeah, I don’t know about that. And how are they floating? On another note, I thought only a select few were chosen to be saved. But, again, there are Cursed Children in this scene so who even knows anymore.
— Rentaro: “We will now commence operation ‘Rapier’s Thrust!'” Uh, poor choice of words for a show that sexualizes lolis…
— So the battle is finally underway, and you’d think our characters would wear more combat-suitable clothing. Ah, but don’tcha know? A skintight seifuku is the best outfit to fight in.
— Quality animation as always.
— It’s one parade of allies as Rentaro’s friends conveniently show up one-by-one to help him and Enju reach their destination.
— The bomb has been planted. I repeat: the bomb has been planted! Oh wait, we’re only seven and a half minutes into this episode! The bomb will fail. I repeat: the bomb will fail!
— Time for the main character to make a heroic sacrifice. He gives Enju a tearful goodbye, then knocks her out with a punch to the stomach. Uh, I don’t think it’s that easy. Yeah, you’ll knock the wind out of people by hitting their solar plexus, but c’mon. Why would she faint? But apparently, everything can be solved by punching, because our hero’s going to punch Aldebaran hard enough in the hopes that he’ll re-trigger the bomb.
— But don’t you worry about your heartstrings! Even in Enju’s sleep, she’ll whisper Rentaro’s name softly!
— Aldebaran finally remembers it can spew “Varanium-corroding fluid,” which takes out Rentaro’s special leg. It looks as though our hero has failed. Luckily, good ol’ Shoma-nii has shown up in order to sacrifice his life. Oh, the twists and turns of this narrative. Rentaro doth protest: “No! You’ll die!” Uh, which is exactly what you were aiming to do just moments ago?
— Even though Shoma’s power is the ability to destroy someone from in the inside, he still just punches Aldebaran. And that’s how the final fight comes to an end. What a failure of the imagination.
— And that’s that. What a lame final battle. Rentaro looks back at his troops and goes, “Is this… all that’s left?” But I like how the only important person to die is Shoma, who also willingly chose to die. War is so neat and tidy.
— Ugh, there’s still 10 minutes left in the episode. What on earth is left for the episode to cover?
— Well, Kisara confronts her older brother, who had commissioned the previous shoddy monolith. As a result, he’s the one responsible for the countless deaths in our latest conflict. Alright. Let’s use our evidence to bring him to trial… No, actually, I think we’ll have a duel to the death instead–… wait, what? But ugh, who even cares anymore? The big bad threat is over. Nothing is at stake for the viewers. I hardly know who Kazumitsu is, so I hardly give a shit that he’ll get his comeuppance at Kisara’s hands.
— Kazumitsu sure can talk rather coherently even though one of his legs has been chopped off, and he is likely bleeding out from the wound or going into shock from the pain.
— Of course, Kikunojo is linked to the crappy monolith. Of course, there’s a huge conspiracy surrounding the deaths of Kisara’s parents. The darkness of the Tendo clan! Sigh. Again, why on earth are we hearing this now after the series is just about over? Maybe the show wants to tease a sequel, but this just seems like poor pacing to me.
— Even better, Kisara reveals that she had cleaved her brother right in half:
Somehow, it was just delayed! So really, the guy kept talking even though he had suffered such an injury! Very impressive!
— Meanwhile, Kisara is utterly gleeful that she has killed one of the people responsible for her parents’ deaths. This is how Black Bullet wants to end? On some weird note where Kisara cruelly murders a guy? Instead of devoting any attention to humanity’s final battle, we’re instead watching some twisted form of justice being carried out. Man, who the fuck worked on this adaptation’s storyboards? “And then after everyone is happy that the big, bad Aldebaran has died, we’ll have Rentaro’s primary love interest go semi-psycho and murder someone in cold-blood. Rentaro and Kisara will then argue over it! Yeah, this is the best way to cap this series off!”
— Kisara calls herself evil then walks away from both Rentaro and the lolis. Rentaro tells the girls that they may have just become enemies. Okaaaaay… First, Rentaro goes all fascist on everyone as a military leader, and now this.
— Anyway, Seitenshi gives a crappy speech about lifting the burden on the Cursed Children. Afterwards, Rentaro and Enju share a moment on a train where our hero sobs into her lap. H-he doesn’t want his loli to ever leave his side! And with that, Black Bullet is over.
— Final thoughts? Like a lot of shows lately, there’s always potential for something passably entertaining. I mean, c’mon, humanity is on the ropes, and the enemy are giant, monstrous beasts that our heroes can hardly comprehend. The premise is pretty much nothing original, but you could still do something decent with it. Actually, how can you even mess it up? Action and monsters. Just doing it competently would get you at least an average score. Hell, the whole series is rather Attack on Titan-ish if you think about it. So maybe that’s why we needed to add a twist. Maybe that’s why we needed something to help Black Bullet stand out on its own. I know! Let’s add lolis!
I swear, half of these shows would be decent if you could just kill off anime’s obsession with lolis. I don’t enjoy Attack on Titan for various reasons, but I can at least respect it as a grim, serious work about humanity’s struggle to survive against a force of nature. Most of all, it had no lolis. Black Bullet takes the same idea, but then a loli pops out and goes, “HELLO I’M HERE TO RUIN DA SHOW.” Then you’re just like, “Holy fuck, kill me now.” Even better is when the anime tries to make you feel bad for the lolis with some very shitty depiction of discrimination. What truly takes the cake, however, is how sexualized these lolis are. Lolis are humanity’s last hope? Whatever. Lolis are being discriminated against? Pretty emotionally manipulative, but oh well. The lolis all want to marry the main character when they grow up because they’ve become dependent upon him? Alright, fuck you too, Black Bullet. Final grade? F-minus.