With just one show now, no need to call this nonsense Harem Hill anymore. Let’s just laugh at Kamito and his merry band of tsundere girls. As for the future of Harem Hill, it doesn’t look too bright.
— When we return to the action, Kamito and the bad guy are still fighting, but we’ve seen it all already. The bad guy taunts Kamito for being weak because he cares about others. So y’know, the sky is blue, water is wet, anime villains still suck…
— All of a sudden, Fianna gets in the way and her breasts start glowing. Yo, I’m not even joking.
— The girl then attacks the bad guy with a move called Magna Carta. Yeah, Magna Carta, a.k.a. the Great Charter. Yeah, take that, bad guy! Eat… uh, a list of promises that you won’t abuse your power, asshole?
— When the harem lead asks Fianna what that was all about, she answers, “The blood of the spirit god, a blood stone.” Makes sense.
— All of a sudden, the discussion turns to Fianna’s fake breasts. No, she doesn’t haven implants. She apparently pads them to make them look bigger. It’s to hide the blood stone, y’see. And “I heard all guys like girls with large breasts.” Look how Claire beams when Kamito tells Fianna that some guys like small breasts. Her expression quickly turns, however, when he adds, “Though personally, I do think it’s better to have some than none.” Welp, you know what that calls for:
But thanks, Kamito, on telling us what you think of breasts.
— So Fianna reveals that she’s lost her contracted spirit. As a result, she’s been hiding spirit stones in her body. Yeah, that’s how she cheated her way through the school’s entrance exam.
— Why, Claire wonders, why! Why would you cheat just to enter this school? Fianna half-jokingly suggests that she did it just to kiss Kamito, so of course, Claire prepares to murder him. Haha, so funny, you guys. Abuse is cool! But really, that’s the thing. These shows normalize this sort of thing and make you believe that they’re commonplace. These shows suggest that guys’ eyes are always going to wander, and it’s okay if their main lover abuses them for it. ‘Cause blah blah blah, girls are girls, and they can’t hit hard or some bullshit like that.
— But the more serious reason as to why Fianna is here is because she wants to win the Blade Dance. In a moment of clarity, Claire admits she doesn’t understand why Fianna would want to join her team. Well, Fianna wants to join them because she’s a reject too. You’ve got yourself the Calamity Queen’s sister, a male elementaler who likes to cross dress, and now a princess who’s lost all rights to being a princess. What a winning group.
— This entire time the three of them are having a conversation, I keep thinking, “Where the hell are Fahrenfart and Rinslet?” Didn’t they come here with Kamito and the rest of the harem?
— Despite all her latent jealousy for anything with boobs, Claire accepts Fianna onto the team: “You’re my comrade in arms.” Aw, how sweet… With that out of the way, they quickly begin to argue about their breasts sizes.
— There’s no time! There’s no time! Jormungand is about to awaken… and bore the hell out of all of us with its boring characters.
— Oh, there’s Fahrenfart! I guess she was just chilling in the corner, listening to all this delicious talk about breasts.
— Sword girl knows where to find Jormungand’s altar. Why? ‘Cause she just does. Isn’t that convenient? And for her troubles, she requires a reward. Yeah, the show is full of bullshit like this. The plot never gets going because our harem lead has to stop every once in a while to placate these caricatures with boobs. Still, a pat on the head is enough to make the other girls sad. C’mon, it’s a sword spirit. What’s the guy going to do? Fuck a sword? Best you can get is a sword fight.
— Meanwhile, Fahrenfart admits her team’s defeat, and leaves the rest of the mission up to Kamito and gang. C’mon, just get it over with and join the harem lead’s team already.
— Somehow, Rinslet drops out too. I guess the animators can’t be assed to animate too many girls at once. I’m dying to see how the Blade Dance tournament will play out.
— Elsewhere, Restia tells the bitter Jio that Kamito is the true demon lord, so the former won’t able to defeat the latter. It’s hilarious how every demon lord in anime seemingly has a harem, but because it’s anime, there’s never any sex. This badass demon lord can’t even get laid.
— Even though Kamito’s on his way to reseal Jormungand or some shit, he’s still suffering from the effects from the last battle. He ain’t about to show weakness to Claire, though! So the girl gripes, “I mean… we’re partners–… actually, can’t you just trust your master more?” I-I’m really dismayed at the lack of trust between us, especially when I whip you all the time for looking at other girls!
— But damn, the harem lead cuts deep: “…you’ve got no friends, so I don’t think I should take you seriously.”
— Eventually, our heroes reach the seal that Fianna will have to reinforce. But ah, she can’t just dance and magically make things better! She’ll have to purify herself, which ironically requires her to strip naked in front of everyone. Naturally, Claire wants to bathe too! Shit, let’s all just get naked and frolic in this underground spring! Oh, what’s that? Jio, the bad guy, is still at large? B-but boobs!
— Here in Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance, we ask the controversial questions others are too afraid to ask!
— Obligatory girl-on-girl molestation, because if it’s hot, it’s not sexual assault!
— Of course the main character isn’t getting aroused as he hears the two girls frolic behind him! He’s too busy thinking of Jio. The harem lead just has a thing for bad boys and their tattoos, I guess. Plus Jio kind of looks like Kamito anyway. It’s not bad or lazy art! It’s just pure masturbation.
— Speaking of the devil, Jio finally shows up to crash the party. so we’re back to some shitty fighting.
— Kamito confronts Jio with the truth: he’s not an elementaler at all! Like Fianna, he’s just abusing sealed spirit. That’s right! There’s only one male elementaler in this universe, and it’s the harem lead. It’s funny how these stories always come down to the main character being an all-too-special snowflake. Look at how SAO’s Kirito is the only person in an entire MMO to use a sword. An entire MMO full of people, and not a single person uses a sword but Kirito. And here, Kamito infiltrates a female-dominated world and makes himself the only male elementaler out there. It’s ludicrous, really. But if we’re going to go this far, I can’t wait to see the first pregnant male in anime. C’mon, you may as well take that over too.
— I’m not really sure why Kamito is now beating Jio handily. Every previous fight thus far had been in the latter’s favor, and hell, the anime even made a point of highlighting Kamito’s injuries from the previous encounter. All of a sudden, our harem lead is winning this without breaking much of a sweat.
— This awesome animation, though…
— But then Jio does something to Kamito’s sword (it’s probably syphilis), and as a result, our harem lead hesitates. This leaves Kamito open to a nice, ol’ gutstabbing.
— Hey, isn’t that the relic from Mahouka?!
— But really, what’s the source of Jio’s power? “The power of Nebuchadnezzar that allows you to control many spirits.” I’ll never look at the Babylonian King in the same light again.
— All of a sudden, Fianna starts dancing, and because Jio’s body is like… a shrine to spirits or something? Anyway, it’s a shrine to spirit, so her dancing works on him. Ho-hum. Just watch the guy’s body twist unnaturally even though the animation budget can’t keep up.
— Unfortunately, Restia shows up to interfere with the fight. Does she want to help Jio? Not necessarily. She wants to awaken the demon lord in Kamito, so she lends her power to the bad guy. In the end, Jio lunges for Fianna, which forces Kamito to bear the brunt of the attack. And just like that, Fianna has already fallen in love.
— And somehow, even though Fianna had previously lost her ability to summon her contracted spirit, she can summon it now in this dire situation. Yeah, that’s right, you can’t summon a spirit if it simply means you can rule a country. You can only summon it if it will help you save a cute boi~!
— Well, that’s it. The good guys beat Jio, then the anime fades to black. When the show returns, we see that Kamito is back in bed. You think he’d find a naked Est under those covers, but in actuality, it’s (a clothed) Fianna instead. Oh boy, what a twist. So with that, let’s end the post here. Hope you guys enjoyed yet another slate of sharks pics.
I’d fuck a sword anyday if it looks like that.
i wonder what a pregnant sword would look like. Will it have a wider blade? Will the damage be blunt? OH the possibilities are endless…
it becomes a mace
It looks like a child.
First episode that isn’t boring, it was quite enjoyable, animation and plot execution still sucks though.
Agreed, I was surprised I was able to enjoy an episode for once instead of being somewhat bored or laughing at its awfulness