Oh good, the general is just another clichéd anime babe!
— We kick things off with the Jaegers just outside a bandit’s fortress. Honestly, I don’t expect to see anything but a bunch of gratuitous slaughtering of human life to follow. But hurr, we gotta see the Jaeger’s powers firsthand!
— Tatsumi sees Seryu and rage insantly washes over him. He totally wants to avenge Sheele, but still, he holds himself back; he obviously can’t pick a fight here. Unfortunately, it sure as hell doesn’t look like he’s holding himself back.
— Tatsumi is clenching his teeth and shaking with anger, and even though Esdeath is in love with the guy, she doesn’t notice a goddamn thing. I think that’s just stupid.
— It’s just one of many quirks or flaws of the medium, depending on how you want to look at it. Characters always telegraph exactly how they feel through their facial expressions, and no one around them will notice. Personally, I don’t think this sort of facial emoting is necessary. You should just let the voice actor convey his feelings and emotions through the delivery of his lines alone.
— Speaking of Esdeath, she’s busy blushing because she’s put her hands on his. U-uguu… I’m in rabu~
— By the way, I don’t normally look at anime forums, but one of them linked to me and I couldn’t help but notice this brilliant gem:
“Esdeath is such an intriguing character, she’s supposed to be the enemy after all because she’s the wall that houses all these demons in the empire. Yet I have to say I really like her because she knows she’s dealing with demons, and realizes how weak they are.”
What a joke. Let’s just blithely ignore that Esdeath is a piece of shit herself.
— So Seryu’s gain a gigantic drill for a weapon. Something something pierce the heavens. She has other weapons but they’re too boring to even mention. And yeah, the Jaegers are just slaughtering scores upon scores of faceless bandits. There’s no real point to this scene other than to see the bad guys rip people to shreds. Not only is this scene pathetic in its cruelty, it’s also boring. ‘Cause, y’see, being over-the-top means you literally go over the top to the point of ludicrousness. Akame ga Kill! isn’t really offering up anything new, though. I’ve seen bloodier and more gruesome action elsewhere, so it isn’t over-the-top. It’s just a cringeworthy pretender. That’s why it has to rely on gimmicks like mass rape for shock value. The action just doesn’t hold up. And if anyone ever complains, “That’s just war for you!”
— The rest of the Jaegers show themselves off one-by-one, but I don’t care enough to describe any of the “action.” None of it is interesting enough to comment on. I don’t even care what their Imperial Arms are and what they do anymore. This scene is just neither interesting nor necessary. The whole thing is just masturbatory. There’s nothing important being conveyed here other than “Look how cool these mass murderers are!” And why would I be impressed? What am I, 12?
— Yeah, it’s escapism, but that’s the thing. Akame ga Kill! isn’t taking me anywhere I haven’t been. I can easily find a manga with a lot more fucked up shit than Akame ga Kill! Or I can just as easily start up Saint’s Row 4, murder people on the streets with a giant, purple dildo, and scream out stupid made-up names for my moves as if I’m in a terrible shounen. Escapism should take me somewhere I can’t go. Indulging in shallow, juvenile fantasies, however, is not that difficult.
— Uguu, it’s the first time Esdeath has experienced being in love. She’s not just literally a virgin when it comes to sex. Rather, she’s a virgin in every way! The lady who commands her troops to rape and murder a village is just so pure and untainted by the touch of a man… People, people, she’s a monster, not a whore. Let’s keep our priorities in order!
— Tatsumi then stupidly thinks he could convince Esdeath to become an ally. Yeah, seeing the suffering of thousands upon thousands of innocent people won’t even stir the tiniest of heartstrings, but this bland motherfucker over here thinks his shounen charms will do the trick.
— Our hero says it’s time he steps up and becomes a man. We then cut to him sitting on Esdeath’s bed as she showers nearby. Oh boy! Convince her with your dick, bro! Implant those seeds of contrition in her! REPENT WOMAN, REPENT FOR YOUR CRIMES!
— The sad thing is, Tatsumi’s just as big of a virgin as Esdeath, so what you’re about to see will just be maddening and dumb. He’s already wondering to himself how he got to be in this oh-so-messed-up situation. James Bond, Tatsumi is not.
— Esdeath: “Well, I’m not quite sure what to do in this situation, either.” Trust me, I’ve always closed my eyes after telling my troops to rape people. I-I have no idea what it is that they do, uguu…
— Yeah, yeah, Tatsumi tries to turn Esdeath to the good side, so the lady just slaps him across the face. But let’s be honest: it’s pretty fucking stupid to try to convert the fucking general of the Imperial Army to your cause. But she quickly goes back to deredere form by licking the place where she slapped him, then assuring the shounen hero that she won’t have any other lover. ‘Cause that’s what’s important here.
— Truth is, Akame ga Kill! is too chicken shit to even take Esdeath’s character where it needs to go. She’s this super cruel, take-no-bullshit general, and yet she turns into just another boring lover in bed. Ah, but she’s a virgin! So she wouldn’t yet indulge in the cruel side of sex just yet. But that’s exactly my point. Even when a woman is a fucking mass murderer, God forbid she has a harem. God forbid she knows a thing or two about sex. We have to please the fans! And the best part? The implication here is that raping and killing people won’t piss the fans off, but making the general a sex-haver? Ugh, no!
— It’s always funny when people preach survival of the fittest without realizing that helping the weak survive ensures survival of the fittest civilization. But I suppose that shit doesn’t matter. We only care about the fittest individual. In any case, Esdeath will try to change Tatsumi, but we all know she won’t be able to because he’s the hero. It’s just too predictable, I’m not sure why the story even bothers. A better story might have the hero waver, unsure of what to do because he’s only human. But then again, a better story wouldn’t have Esdeath, so we’re back to square one. So we get to watch Tatsumi pout as he swears to Esdeath that he won’t ever change. Sweet.
— It doesn’t even matter what Tatsumi does anyway. The more he defies Esdeath, the more she just falls in love with him.
— Bols: “The trick to capturing your beloved heart… Never give up!” A restraining order means she’s just playing hard to get!
— The next day, our genius protagonist has a very difficult time coming to the conclusion that Kurome might just be related to Akame. The girl pretty much has to tell him straight-up that they’re related.
— Esdeath: “Mount Fake is Fake Mountain, of course.” ‘Kay.
— Lulz, we’re so meta. Needless to say, they have similar Imperial Arms.
— I then get to watch Tatsumi and Wave find off a bunch of sentient trees… one-eyed, walking pieces of wood… there’s a joke in here somewhere.
— So our protagonist uses his Incursio to escape, but Wave still chases him down. The latter just doesn’t realize that the Incursio user before is none other than Tatsumi. At the same time, I’m amazed Esdeath even let the main character out of her sight. So much for breaking his spirit and making him hers. Lots of intelligent people in this anime.
— Wave accuses Night Raid of committing murders and assassinating people. Tatsumi’s only retort? “No, we’re not evil!”
— Since Tatsumi won’t fight back, Wave does enough damage to the hero that he even starts to cough up blood. But it’s okay, because you can go into stealth with the Incursio! As a result, Tatsumi hides out long enough that… that…? Akame shows up to save him? Where the fuck did she come from? How did she even know where to find him? What? You’re going to tell me she just had a feeling she would find him atop this “Fake Mountain?”
— And just like that, Tatsumi has escaped from Esdeath’s clutches. That’s pretty lame, isn’t it? The badass general can’t even keep her own man secured.
— Afterwards, Wave gets punished, and Esdeath tells her underlings she won’t prevent them from killing him if they feel the need to. But the truth is, she doesn’t think he’ll die anyway. After all, if he did die, he wouldn’t be much of a man anyway! Survival of the fittest, after all! ‘Cause who’s the little, wittle shounen hero? That’s you! That’s yoooou!
— Elsewhere, Akame tells her team that Esdeath does have a weakness. Oh yeah? Let’s hear it. What’s her weakness?
Akame: “That she’s alive. She has a heart and a pulse. Given that, I’ll slay her.”
Wow, you really thought long and hard on that one, huh?
— And to put an end to this week’s episode, we see Dr. Stylish hot on Night Raid’s trail. I guess we know who’s dying next.