Yeah, I’ve seen Uranus before, and this is definitely not it. Good call, Akari.
— Apparently, our heroes have stumbled upon Hyperion, which is one of Saturn’s many moons. Y’know, if they where this close to Hyperion, you’d think they’d be close enough to notice Saturn too. But more importantly, why have we stopped all the way out here? Oh god, please don’t tell me that the story is still stalling for time. I mean, we can’t stall for time, right? There’s nothing here but a lumpy moon! The story has no choice to push on, right?
— The characters speculate that last week’s episode was due to a psychological attack from the enemy. Psychological attack or not, there’s still some grain of truth in what Daichi saw. I stand by the idea that he had doubts he had to clear away. The Designer Children wouldn’t have been able to trap him for that short bit of time if he didn’t.
— So Baku shows up to intercept our heroes. According to him, because human lives are so short, they’re no different from dreams. Well, okay, that’s not really deep or anything, but we can pretend it is, if you want. But seriously, just by virtue of the fact that the Kiltgang are having a tough time dealing with Daichi and crew, you’d think they’d come to the plainly obvious conclusion that human beings can nevertheless leave a mark on history even if their lives are finite. I know he’s hung up on the fact that his true love died, but therein lies yet another problem about Baku’s philosophy. By degrading humanity, he also degrades the woman he once loved. That’s the problem with these shows. Instead of making the villains smart and multi-faceted, the writers opt instead to have them spew out catchy quips. These quips will sound smart and whatnot the first time you hear them, but there’s no substance to them, and thus no substance to the villains.
— Teppei magically warps in front of Daichi, thereby allowing him to fire a blast strong enough to repel Baku. Captain Earth fights are now just silly. Because of the magical powers of the Livlasters, anything can happen. Baku is literally beating the tar out of Daichi, but it doesn’t matter. Ironically, nothing the immortal being does even matters. Thanks to our heroes’ feelings — and I’m not even being snarky — anything can literally happen. Remember when Teppei slipped into another dimension temporarily just to save himself from Daichi’s powerful attack during the asteroid strike? Well, the kid can now warp from one location to another. Of course, he didn’t really warp; Teppei managed to Entangle Link out of nowhere. Still, an asspull is an asspull, and anything goes because of the Livlasters. You don’t really have to construct a coherent fight scene that eventually results in one side winning through a gradual accumulation of tiny advantages. You can have any result you want with the Livlasters; Entangle Link or not, the end result is that Teppei still appeared out of nowhere to beat Baku even though the latter had been winning the fight without much trouble. But seriously, while these asspulls might be easier on the writers, how can this be remotely satisfying to watch for us viewers? And shouldn’t that be the most primary concern?
— By the way, it looks as though they’ve destroyed Baku’s Ego Block. That was, uh, easy? And so much for Baku, huh? He finally shows up to fight, and he’s down for the count before the episode is even half over…
— Our kids then proceed to sit around and discuss the fact that the Livlasters can Entangle Link. Great, great, we’re still stalling for time.
— Then all of a sudden, Teppei tells us that he’s found God… or rather, a god to believe in. Still, really, Captain Earth? Sigh…
— Now, I don’t know what’s going on at all. Daichi says again that the Designer Children were trying to shake him up in his dream. Akari turns to Teppei and asks if this is possible. Teppei says no, and this is because they have Ego Blocks… I don’t follow. So were the Designer Children fucking with Daichi’s dream or not? But whatever, I don’t even care that much about the story anymore anyway.
— I just want the anime to get on with the story, but the kids are still talking.
— Oh hey, I was wondering where the OP was. It’s just ten minutes into the episode. Great.
— After the OP, our heroes finally make it to the bad guys’ ship. Also, I could’ve sworn that they had been calling the enemy ship the Oberon for the past twenty-three episodes. Why the sudden change to Auberon?
— Both the Earth Engine and the Nebula Engine kick off to carry out the mission. I can’t help but think how wasted the Flare Engine was, though. Hana got to use it like once… and now she’s stuck like this. Kind of an unfortunate position, no? The boys get to hop into their mechas and do cool shit. Meanwhile, Hana just gets to float there all naked and everything as electricity continuously surges around her. And hell, Akari’s role is boring too. All she ever does is sit in one place and type away on some keyboard as though her keystrokes-per-minute is what truly defines her character.
— With the help of a bunch of explosions, the Kivotos manages to penetrate the enemy ship. Yep, yep, the symbolism is very meaningful. I bet you the Kiltgang didn’t see this coming. Heed the lesson, kids: no protection out there is a 100% effective.
— Inside the Auberon, it’s all purple for some reason. And there are a bunch of purple spikes, too. The writers’ imaginations are really going out of control. Eventually, the kids reach the core, a.k.a. the bad guys’ cocoon.
— Naturally, the bad guys won’t go down without a fight, so the rest of them — minus Baku — finally show up to do battle. The dialogue sounds like something you’d find in a cheesy 16-bit RPG. So naturally, Amara will make Daichi an offer he will refuse. Yes, why not join the bad guys and destroy all of humanity! What? You don’t want to? You’ve been spending the entire series trying to save humanity, so you’re kind of attached to it? Gosh darn, I didn’t think you’d turn me down!
— Setsuna shows up, cries some tears, and Baku magically returns to life. Laaaaaaaame. I guess the good guys aren’t the only ones who can perform asspulls. And blah blah blah, Setsuna can give everyone Ego Blocks. Join our nakama, guys! Just throw down your Livlasters! Here’s where we awkwardly zoom into Hana’s Livlaster.
— All of a sudden, Puck shows up! And he attacks Setsuna, because she’s somehow a threat to the AI. What’s going on, guys? What is the AI even doing here? Hell, do the good guys even know Puck exists? I’m not sure if Daichi and crew have ever even interacted with Puck once in the entire series. Is this where the Kiltgang realizes that Puck is the true villain of the series, and they must reluctantly join the good guys in order to take down the rogue AI once and for all? Puck now has the ability to install his ego into every sentient life form in the galaxy, so I guess he’s god. And since this is anime, god is always the biggest threat. This is a bit of a lame turn in events. I mean, the true villain is just a powertripping AI. Two lifeforms went at it, but in the end, it’s technology that we must be wary of. And again, the good guys don’t even know who or what Puck is. It’s just lame. Daichi tries to take Puck out in one shot, but oh no, you haven’t seen my final form yet! When the smoke clears, Puck reveals his next iteration!
And… it’s a giant Ego Block…
— Tune in next time for the exciting conclusion to Captain Earth. I’m excited! Aren’t you?