Well, I was hoping for a more interesting anime to write about, but it hasn’t gotten subbed yet. So for now, another episode of Terra Formars will have to do. It’s not a show I’m terribly excited about, to be honest. For instance, I think I’d have more fun laughing at the twintails anime than this one, but the former doesn’t come out for another week. Oh well…
— Thanks for the quick health lesson at the start of the episode. There’s no new information here other than that the virus is called the Alien Engine Virus. Silly name.
— For all the talk about viruses, terraforming, and space travel, it’s kind of odd to see the anime refer to the year as “Christian Era 2620.” I guess the BCE/CE thing has gone by the wayside in this alternate universe.
— What’s our first bit of character development? Sheila is in love with Shokichi. Uh-huh, sure, the exotic foreigner has a crush on a man twice her age. I’m not saying it’s impossible. I’m just saying it feels a bit like wish fulfillment. I guess I’m just too cynical to comprehend love in the anime universe.
— Who the hell stumbles upon a half-dressed anyone then proceeds to gawk at said person for long, uncomfortable seconds? The lady has some mega-sage advice for Sheila, though: “Women are meant to love at any time.” I don’t even know what that means. But as she walks away, Eva goes, “I wonder if she’s considered positive boobs.” Who write this dialogue?
— With twenty days left until they reach Mars, people are already starting to pick fights with each other. For such an important mission, there are hardly any attempts to lead or establish camaraderie between the team members. Ah well. I never thought Terra Formars would be a very intelligent show, but I was hoping for at least average intelligence.
— I guess we’re content to burn time, ’cause now the anime cuts to a bar in Japan. A guy and the bartender talk about how they’re going to talk about Annex 1, but then we cut back to said expedition without that talk ever taking place. Okay then. That was a great scene. Totally eye-opening. I learned a lot.
— It also doesn’t seem like these guys have anything to do but to mill about and play catch with a baseball. You’d think that by the year 2620 they’d have some killer virtual reality simulations or something.
— But hey, with six minutes left in the episode, we’ve finally reached Mars! They sure are focusing heavily on Sheila’s crush, though. What, is she going to die soon or something? Haha, Terra Formars wouldn’t be that predictable, right?
— Eva is scared, you guys. There’s a stark lack of, well, either of the two main characters. Shokichi has made two announcements thus far. Other than that, he’s been a ghost. As for Akari… where the hell is Akari? Sure, a story should develop its side characters. But it’s only the second episode and the main character is taking the backseat already? Michelle hasn’t said a damn thing either. I just think that now’s the golden time to convince the audience to care about these three characters. After all, it’s painfully obvious that we’re going to be stuck with them for the long haul. On the other hand, I don’t care about Sheila when the death flag is so obviously hanging over her head.
Furthermore, her story sucks. She has a crush on Shokichi, but she’s too scared to tell him her feelings. Really? That’s it? What is this? A slice-of-life anime about high school students? No, they’re goddamn adults on a trip to fight potentially racist caricatures of black people. As such, why the fuck are you feeding me this bullshit schoolgirl crush nonsense? Honestly, a bunch of men and women stuck on a ship for 39 days…? They’d just start fucking like rabbits. So it makes this schoolgirl shit even more lame.
— Oh no, some security cameras have gone out! Don’t tell me the terraformars are somehow aboard the ship. You’d think the ship would have various ways to detect additional lifeforms in 2620… Oh yeah, the terraformars have disabled the surveillance system too. That’s… that’s something, alright. The terraformars are apparently this intelligent, but due to… plot contrivances, any attempt to communicate with them is just impossible. Okay.
— A pair of guys (I still haven’t learned all of their names) are curious why someone is still showering at this point in time. One of them comments, “It’s not exactly a shampoo… but the scent of a woman.” Again, what does that even mean? Apparently, it means to creepily violate someone’s privacy: “And is it wrong as an organism to be drawn by such a scent?” Cool!
— It turns out that scent of a woman is really just a terraformar killing the hell out of some poor Chinese girl. We don’t even know her name. She’s just some Chinese girl. Anyway, the terraformar had apparently snuck into the showers just to club the girl to death. Where did it even find such a huge club on a spaceship? We not so subtly cut back to the bar in Japan, where the bartender “clubs” a cockroach to death after saying how these bugs just seem to be able to get into everything.
— Elsewhere on the ship, everyone’s just getting slaughtered left and right. Y’see, even though they’ve all undergone the special surgery to give them powers, they still need some medicine to activate their powers. So they’re just sitting ducks. But scenes like this one are all you can expect to see.
— Here’s how the episode comes to an end: the two wannabe peeping-toms finally reach the storehouse where all the medicine is stored, but when they open the door, they see that the terraformars are already smashing everything up. One of the terraformars even picks up a vial of medicine, then snaps it in half in front of everyone as if to taunt our “heroes.” It’s so goddamn corny. Was I supposed to roll my eyes at that? ‘Cause I rolled my eyes at that. I don’t know, man, the show is just so hard to enjoy. It’s just… kind of a stupid.
— I gotta say, there wasn’t much to talk about this week. For 75% of the episode, everyone just dicked around on the ship, talking about nonsense. Oh great, Sheila has a crush… who even cares? Then terraformars start wrecking shit up. For such a bloody, violent anime, it’s actually kind of dull.
— C’mon, someone sub the Garo show already. I want to see if it’s any good.