More shows to watch? Yeah, more shows to watch. At the moment, I’m going to cover every show that interest me. Eventually, some of these shows will be relegated to my weekly “Everything Else” posts, so don’t worry. You won’t have to read eight gajillion posts from me every weekend.
— So what do I know about this anime before we start? Well, I know some princess gets exiled to some island because she doesn’t have special powers. And there, she will end up piloting a mecha to fight against dragons from another dimension. Yeah, really, extra-dimensional dragons. Who came up with this premise? Oh, right, it’s Sunrise. I guess I’m not so surprised after all. Still, not that I didn’t want to watch this show anyway, but man, where are those Garo subs? Yeah, I’m still waiting.
— We go from a sweet, little memory of a little girl riding a horse to, well, this:
I still have the image of the little girl in my mind, so this boner is all wrong. All wrong! But seriously, c’mon, is this really necessar–… oh right, it’s Sunrise. Still, the T&A here are just too strong for my sensibilities.
— A portal opens, and a bunch of dragons of various sizes come pouring through. A fleet of girls then start attacking said dragons with their mechas. The mechas look pretty whatever to me, but I’m not a connoisseur of mechas to begin with so take that with a grain of salt.
— So, uh… why all girls? Y’know, other than the obvious fanservice reason. But surely, since they’re all girls, we’ll pass the Bechdel test, right? So at least we’ve got that going for us.
— The OP is nothing too speci–…
…oh man, I don’t know if I want to watch this anymore. This was a bad, bad idea.
— Holy fuck:
What am I watching?
What am I watching?
— So we’ve established that there will be some guys in this story. Weird, dickless, Ken-doll guys. All of a sudden, the prospects of passing the Bechdel test just took a major hit.
— Right after the OP, we see a bunch of girls compete in what looks like space-age lacrosse. Or polo. It’s some combination of the two, but with hover crafts! But yeah, we’ve turned back to clock to see Ange before her life has been turned upside down.
— That’s a pretty lazy-looking crowd for such a new anime. They’re just… dots.
— Our princess didn’t win the match because she had to help a teammate in need. Everyone still praises the ground she walks on, though… except for her brother. I guess he’ll soon become the primary antagonist of the show. Was that him in the OP? Y’know, the part where the girl runs away only to have the burlap sack she was wearing burst into pieces? T-there’s not going to be creepy incest in this, right? Oh wait, it’s anime…
— As the royal siblings leave the place, we see Ange’s face pretty much plastered everywhere. It’s apparently her birthday, so this will make her fall from grace hit even harder. Apparently, she’s at the right age for some Baptism Ritual, and that’s when we’ll find out she has no magical powers. How much you want to bet, however, that she really does have powers but they’ve just been sealed in some way or fashion by her evil, evil brother?
— Their trip suddenly hits a snag when they run into a Norma baby. Just a baby. And yeah, that’s the term for people who can’t use Mana. And apparently, Normas get treated like shit. That’s right, I read something about how the world is so prosperous and everything, but at the same time, people exploit the Normas. Funny how that works. So the princess is going to become one of the Normas and learn to fight for the underprivileged people, huh? This is really a story about revolution, right? We just have to battle dragons in skimpy clothing for a while before we overthrow the ruling class. Makes perfect sense to me.
— But for now, Ange is just a bitch like the rest of them: “The Light of Mana, the ultimate evolution of humanity… The Norma reject it. They are instinctively violent, antisocial monsters.” She says that as she walks towards a mother desperately trying to protect her daughter from a bunch of men armed with nightsticks. Hilarious. The irony is lost on her, I guess.
— The Norma baby will be taken away, because, uh, it’s apparently not human. This is despite the fact that the princess just explained to us that Normas are simply humans who don’t accept the Light of Mana. But maybe it’s the true Scotsman argument! Yeah, Normas are not true humans! And uh, the baby somehow rejected the Light of Mana. Even though it’s just a baby. I’m sure it stomped its cute, little feet and said, “FUCK THE LIGHT OF MANA.” I can see that. Hey man, don’t ask me about the logic behind this show. Just wait until the T&A show up again.
— What’s Ange’s solution to the crying mother’s problem? Just bear another child — a proper child, she adds! Subtlety is a fine art, and we’re like raging bull in a china shop. Childbearing is so easy, man! Why, I do it all the time, and I’m not even a woman!
— This is how Ange’s mother greets her late at night:
Wowza! Oh, Sunrise, Sunrise, Sunrise… Child, I see that you are burdened with anxiety. Gaze upon my perfectly-sculpted breasts. Perhaps they will calm you.
— Ange goes and says she loves this world. Yeah, she loves a world where babies get hauled off: “This world, freed by the Light of Mana from war, inequality…” Freed from inequality? Freed from inequality?!
Ah man, I can’t even finish quoting the rest of the sentence. I’m just laughing my ass off. Why have they written such a fucking stupid character? I know this is supposed to contrast the change that she will undergo when she realizes that she herself is a Norma, but c’mon, this is ridiculous.
— Oh, only women can be born Norma. Fancy that. Our princess then tells her mother that she wants to exterminate the Norma. She literally thinks this will make the world more beautiful. She’s beaming as she says it. Today’s the first day she’s ever seen a Norma in person, and it’s a crying baby reaching out to her mother. And this is the conclusion our super gracious princess comes to? Between all the T&A and the princess advocating genocide, I don’t know what to think anymore. This premise has been thoroughly ridiculous from the very start. Seriously, though, a-are we sure we really want to watch her become a good person? She is just so thoroughly despicable at the moment, why even bother! Let’s just cut our losses! She’s so ugly on the inside, and this is such a beautiful world!
— We cut to Ange’s brother snooping around in the darkness. Yep, he’s going to fuck with the Baptism Ritual, and Ange will be screwed out of her rightful place as the eventual ruler of this kingdom. But honestly, it couldn’t have happened to a better person!
— So the very next day, Ange gets inside this contraption:
I like how it’s a bit of a crucifixion. But alas, the machine suddenly shuts down and sounds the Norma alert. Oh no!
— Ah, I was wrong: it turns out she was always a Norma, and her father was trying to disguise that fact. But the resentful oniichan will have none of it!
— Is it really necessary for the wheelchair-bound imouto to bare her “cleavage” too? According to Sunrise, yes… yes it is.
— So now we have a reversal of fortune: Ange’s mother tries to help her Norma daughter escape from their pursuers. In the end, she gets captured anyway. Not only that, her mother dies trying to protect her.
Welp, karma is a bitch, isn’t it?
— The evil oniichan then walks up to the imouto who has since passed out from all the shock. As he rubs her lips, he says, “We’re about to get busy, Sylvia. We have to rebuild the tainted royal family. Just the two of us…” Hoo boy…
— So that’s where the extradimensional dragons come in! Basically, they force Normas to become soldiers on some island. They thus have to wear practically nothing and fight against said dragons! Cool!
— Even now, the princess just isn’t very endearing:
Yeah, she still thinks she isn’t a Norma. Sunrise has a helluva job on their hands. It’s going to be very difficult to convince me that I should root for our heroine after such a start.
— So the Norma officer slices Ange’s dress right down the middle, then pins the girl down on a table…
Sigh. Yeah, she gets a cavity search for some reason. Up until this point, the anime had been so ridiculous, it was even kind of funny, but this… this is just too much. As unlikeable as Ange’s character had been, I don’t need to see the girl get violated in such a fashion. Just gratuitous. Ugh.
— Welp, that left a bad taste in my mouth. Right off the bat, our heroine probably got anally violated, and her brother intends to do something nasty with their imouto. I don’t even want to know what they did to the baby after dragging it off to god knows where. Honestly, I’m not sure I want to watch another episode.