Cross Ange Ep. 3: Ange finally admits defeat

Cross Ange - 0313

Welcome back to our favorite trashy anime of the season.

Here is a reminder of just how trashy this show can be.

— Naturally, Ange still wants to escape, but now they tell her that she only has enough fuel for one battle. Basically, she wouldn’t be able to reach her precious homeland even if she tried.

— Someone of you guys predicted that Miranda, Coco’s best friend, would end up hating Ange. Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, ’cause that won’t be happening. Here she is, getting eaten by three dragons at the same time. Talk about overkill.

— All this dogfighting against the dragons wouldn’t be half bad if not for the anime’s constant need to shove the girls’ crotches in our face. Yo, get your hideous ass out of the way. I can’t see shit!

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— But like most shows, the CGI is a trainwreck. It’s this plastic-looking mess that just doesn’t mesh very well with the rest of the show’s aesthetics.

— It’s basically a bullet hell shooter come to life. I can’t help but think I’m watching a Touhou with a lot more sex and a lot less silly hats.

— Oh Ange… she comes running to Zola with a bunch of dragons in tow. Yeah, it’s painfully obvious that the show wants us to hate her, but this is just shameful.

— And thanks to her antics, both she and Zola get smacked down by the big dragon. Yep, Zola the Rapist is dead. I’m not sure how to feel about this development. On the one hand, Ange has now gotten three people killed if you count Miranda. But on the other hand, it’s Zola the Rapist.

unsure

— “We’ve failed to retrieve the bodies of the two rookies.” Yeah, uh, one got ripped in half and the other is currently in a bunch of dragons’ stomachs. I don’t think you’re finding those bodies.

— Oh come on, she’s injured! Do we really need hot patient fanservice? Underboob and everything! I love how her boobs are bandaged, but they’re magically not flattened. Our sixteen-year-old princess got a boob job.

— Aaaaand the hate train continues as Ange insists that she did nothing wrong. Well, you can argue that she didn’t get the two rookies killed, but she definitely got Zola killed. Whether or not Zola deserved to die, well… But this doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things. What matters is that Ange continues to be a complete idiot.

— Some of last week’s commenters don’t really get it. I’m not saying she has to change her mind overnight about the Normas. I’m not saying she has to suddenly accept them as people. I’m just saying… is she fucking stupid or what? You don’t go up to a hornet’s nest and hit with a bat. Likewise, when you’re wrapped in bandage, strapped to a hospital bed, and surrounded by Normas… you don’t insist that Normas aren’t human. Needless to say, she gets a swift kick to her shoulder.

— Besides, I’d still feel bad if I got a dog killed, and a dog is certainly no human.

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— We see a flashback that “explains” why Ange never realized she was a Norma. Her father had told her that members of royalty did not have to use the Light of Mana, so she just left everything up to her maid. I just don’t really get it, I guess. I mean, it’s fucking magic, man! Even if my father, the king, had expressly forbade me from using magic, why wouldn’t I try anyway when nobody was looking? Again, it’s magic.

— I’m surprised that Jill actually sent Ange’s petition to the various nations. Unfortunately for the princess, they all deny any knowledge of a Princess Angelise. Hell, they even deny knowledge of the Empire of Misurugi. Apparently, the empire has ceased to exist, but I’m not sure I buy the idea that the citizens have revolted. Hell, because of that alone, I’m not sure I buy Jill’s story. Who’s to say she didn’t just stamp those petitions herself…?

— Ange has to pay for the victims’ gravestones. I feel bad for the rookies, but… fuck Zola.

— “Zola. Her impulsiveness was her only fault.” Uh… They go on to name all her positive attributes. C’mon, it’s not like her skinship with the rest of the girls was a well-kept secret or anything. I love how the story does its fucking best to make us hate Ange, but we’re now trying to honor Zola’s memory.

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— Again, we see Ange try to exercise her Light of Mana powers to no avail. Ho hum. I thought she already claimed last week that the Light of Mana didn’t extend this far. C’mon, just stick to your story, girl!

— Eh, there’s not much to say about this scene. After all, it’s the umpteenth time we’ve tried to convince the princess that she’s a pathetic Norma. I have a feeling that this will be the last time, though. After all, just how many more times can you rehash the same pathetic argument? You’re a Norma! No, I’m Princess Angelise of the Empire of Misurugi! Rinse and repeat.

— Welp, they’ve found the dragons again, and no, I’m not going to capitalize the word ‘dragon’ every time they show up. Instead of fighting, Ange just wants the rest of the Normas to kill her and thus end her pathetic fate: “Then kill me, please. I can’t take it.” C’mon, can’t you do anything for yourself? You gotta take the first step. Start by killing yourself. In fact, they’ve just found the dragons, right? So here’s your chance to throw yourself right at those dragons.

— Oh lord, they’re going to give Ange the fancy mecha Villkiss. Of course she gets the fancy mecha. Oh, the characters tell us that the Villkiss is all screwed up and everything, but just you wait. In Ange’s hands, it’s going to turn into a dragon-killing, ass-kicking mecha of doom. It’s how these stories always work.

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— Yo, look how this anime has two fight scenes in one episode, and it’s not even a good anime. Other shows have no excuse.

— Needless to say, the second battle doesn’t go too well for Salia, the unit’s new captain. So here comes Ange to save the day… even though she wants to die.

— Check that. She wanted to die, but now she doesn’t. Make up your mind already! But even now, we have to see the girl piss her fucking suit. Goddamnit, Cross Ange.

— Ange doesn’t even do anything amazing. Thanks to her pathetic crying, her blood splashes onto her ring, which somehow awakens Villkiss’s true form… or something. I don’t even know.

— Our princess singlehandedly defeats the dragon, and that is that. The action’s honestly not bad. Where was this Sunrise when we were watching Buddy Complex? Still, Sunrise has to feed us all sorts of delicious angles in the aftermath to convey the extent of Ange’s true feelings. Did they really have to make her nipples stand out so much? Was she turned on or what? A cathartic moment for the girl is apparently still a boner opportunity for the audience.

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— Finally, she cuts off her hair, so she now looks like how she does in the anime’s OP. She also says her goodbyes to her family and her old life. Still, one must naturally wonder if this means the end of incredibly stupid Ange, or will she continue to look down on her allies?

— As an aside, I bet a lot of girls wish they could cut their hair so perfectly with a single stroke of a knife.

— Oh come on, how long has that pudding been sitting there, unrefrigerated? Yeah, no shit it’s disgusting. What did you think it was going to taste like?

— Hm, still no signs of the male love interest in the previews. I wonder when he’s going to rear his ugly head.

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29 thoughts on “Cross Ange Ep. 3: Ange finally admits defeat”

  1. I cannot put into words the utter indignation I have for Ange. A haircut and a main mecha will not shake the stigmata of her terrible personality.
    She is going to be the literal “Virgin Mary”-sue of anime (….ironically) along side with Kira “Jesus” Yamato with ass pulls, and BS powerups.
    Aww, welll…I made my bed and going to lie in it. I have to watch this to the end.

  2. Dear Sunrise, I can’t take in a supposed serious scene of a girl being tormented by the death of comrades if you keeping shoving her wet, see-through, top (with no bra nonetheless) into my face. I hope you understand (probably not -_-‘ ).

    I’ll forgive Ange pissing in her pilot seat, though. Think of it as a more serious take on G-Reco’s, umm, toilet joke.

    Gotta say, I actually like the mecha designs. They’re rather sexy. Too bad the CGI can’t do any justice to them.

      1. I like Salia too. If only they would give her a good storyline, it would make me bear Ange (and probably the show) easier.

    1. “I’ll forgive Ange pissing in her pilot seat, though.”

      Should have opted for the Excelion Shorts. Anyway, I’m really happy that the new Captain and Lieutenant will get more screentime. I’m sorely disappointed that the best character, Sylvia, isn’t getting more screentime.

    2. I’ll forgive Ange pissing in her pilot seat, though. Think of it as a more serious take on G-Reco’s, umm, toilet joke.

      I don’t know what people’s problem with G-Reco really is, though. If you’re on a long flight, well, you gotta shit somewhere, right? With Ange, on the other hand, I just feel like someone out there is fapping to her pissing herself.

      1. I don’t have any real problems with that one in G-Reco either. Neither this one in cross ange. It’s just Ange getting so frightened that she wets herself, which is also natural. Anyone who gets the kicks out of this is one demented fella.

  3. i agree, this show tries WAY too hard to make the MC unlikable to the point where it’s almost cringe-worthy.

    I know it’s not a parody but it’s so unintentionally hilarious and with all that fanservice you might as well be playing fetish bingo. I cant believe this is gonna be a two cour show..

    im not a big mecha fan either but even I think the mech designs are stupid, the pilots are defenseless and can easily fall off like that miranda girl that got eaten attack-on-titan style but i shouldnt question it’s logic..

    1. I actually get the point of the open cockpits though. The Normas are supposed to be treated as replaceable tools, so there is really no reason for whoever is funding the base to spend on safety features. Salia said it herself bluntly to Ange in the simulator scene in ep 2. “Paramails. Coffins for us Normas.”

      1. i thought that the mecha being their coffin could’ve applied to any pilotable giant robot since they’ll die in there(paramail, knightmare frame, gundam or whatever they like to call their mecha)

        you’d think that they’d put more funds into their “dragon” protection program than revealing suits.

        1. you’d think that they’d put more funds into their “dragon” protection program than revealing suits.

          If we go by the Mizurugi empire’s logic, this deals with two problems at once. They consider both the dragons and the normas dangerous things, so just let them destroy each other. If a pilot dies just because she was “stupid” enough to fall out of her cockpit, shrug. No one cares. Even the pilot suits are a testament to the disregard of the outside world for the Normas, giving them nothing more than bikinis with some fabric on the side. Note that the helmets don’t even provide real protection.

          But when the pilot is thrown off the cockpit, your precious mecha will drop unto the ocean and go missing. Those things are expensive to make, yo.

          That’s why they cut off the safety features. That way, it would be less expensive to manufacture paramails if you don’t have to worry about the girl piloting inside needing to survive.

          Besides, needing to provide protection for the pilots is tantamount to acknowledging that they have rights too, which I highly doubt would jive in well with the bigoted views of the outside world on Normas.

  4. I’m not entirely convinced that Miranda and Coco are dead. No body = Not dead.

    Anyway, one of the better shows of this season. It’s like Code Geass on Meth.

      1. Yeah, exactly. Nobody saw them die. I’m just waiting for the Char-masked/mecha lower half mysterious character to be introduced in the 2nd half.

        1. Need a hand?
          ~points out Miranda’s severed hand~
          Also, thoes [LOST] signals at their base would tell them otherwise.

    1. Putting things on meth makes them worse, you know, and by now this show is so full of its own problems and weird decisions that the comparison doesn’t make any sense.

      Cross Ange is more like a retarded sex/violence exploitation version of Simoun, which had an all-girl team of pilots with sort of fetish outfits but wasn’t anywhere near this crass or stupid.

  5. This series confuses me…Boob shots then brutal murder. No really you have some one eaten apart by dragons then give me ass shot. Then give me a dead bodie with cleavage. Then you give me a injured girl and boob and vag shots. This is either the work of a retard or the work of some extremely sick kind of pervert.

    1. Considering that Fukuda is working on the show, I would say both.
      If they wanted to make a hentai, make a hentai. They don’t BS our intelligence.

  6. Ughh… okay, the gore is WAY to much for me, and I only read the review because you’re a great & witty guy. But… even Zola didn’t deserve to die that way with her eyeball dangling like that. Just the standard “vague vaporized” death would’ve been okay. And, she was killed by Ange’s stupidity.

    Mitsuo Fukada, I hate your fucking guts.

  7. Oh nooo they killed Zola, now who’ll give us our share of gratuitous rape action every week?

    “why wouldn’t I try anyway when nobody was looking? Again, it’s magic.”

    Well, she has proven to be so damn retarded, perhaps she did and obviously failed then as usual she made up an excuse to explain why she failed, something like: well I failed because I was too nervous, or I failed because the mana signal is weak this night. Of course any logical person would realize that he or she is a fraud, but our heroine here is way too dumb.
    But yeah, I also think that royal anti-mana restriction is weird, it’s so tempting to use magic even for wordly things like reach something, or to scratch your back.

  8. “Oh come on, how long has that pudding been sitting there, unrefrigerated? Yeah, no shit it’s disgusting. What did you think it was going to taste like?”

    You’re taking things too literally. The pudding is actually a very clever metaphor for this show. You put together a bunch of big breasted lesbians with giant robots. What the heck did you expect?

    1. I can just as easily argue that you’re taking my comments too seriously. But I get the gist of your comments. Say no more.

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