Sword Art Online II Ep. 18: A-1 Pictures gives up

Sword Art Online II - 1823

New arc, you guys. And if this first episode is anything to go by, it’s even worse the previous two.

— Did these girls log into a video game just to do homework? I’m all for the idea that virtual realities will take us to new heights in the future, but some of these scenarios are just downright silly. If anything, it looks like these characters are seriously addicted to these VRMMOs. Log the fuck out. Get some exercise and fresh air. See each other in real life at some other location than that stupid bar.

— Asuna: “Ever since he came back from GGO, it seems he’s been working really hard.” How lovely. The topic quickly turned back to Kirito. Plus, what an absolutely dull way to kick off a new arc. Why on earth do I need to know that they’re studying? Why do I need to know that they’re sleepy? Seriously, who cares? Every scene should be purposeful.

— Even the bartender’s sick of them: “You know, you don’t have to come to a dingy place like this for a date every time.” But he’s right. Kirito and Asuna are in their school uniforms, which means they came straight here after school. They came straight to a real-world bar run by some guy they used to play a VRMMO with. C’mon. I know this is an anime about MMOs, but this can’t be healthy. Every waking moment shouldn’t be about MMOs.

— But of course, Kirito can’t stop talking about VRMMOs because, again, these characters are horribly addicted to this shit: “Compared to your place in Algade, this place is fashionable.”

— Then as this Agil guy tells us his life story, A-1 Pictures lazily pans across still images of the bar. I thought this shit made a ton of money. Did the budget nevertheless get slashed or something?

— Kirito: “Yeah, my desire to return to my family saved me.” Uh, when did that happen?

Sword Art Online II - 1822

— Basically, Asuna doesn’t get along with her super-rich parents, and as a result, she didn’t feel as though she fit in anywhere. Then here comes the groooooooan: “But Kirito gave me a home.” You mean that one episode? That one episode out of the entire first season? But that’s the thing. The first season had ample amounts of opportunity to show us exactly why and how spending time with Kirito in Aincrad felt like home to her. But instead, we watched Kirito build up a veritable harem before he even got with Asuna. As such, the “romance” doesn’t really feel authentic. He basically played the field until he settled with the best waifu of them all — the one with the maxed out cooking skill.

— And that’s why the romance here is trash. Even now, Kirito is going around, playing the field and recruiting more babes to his harem. He has agency, and he continues to exercise it. What does Asuna get to do? Nothing… except people’ve been telling me that this arc is all about her… and her right to stay by Kirito’s side. barf

— So apparently, they can rebuy their stupid log cabin from the first season. Meh.

— We somehow cut to some battleground. Yeah, that’s right, they’re poopsocking on Christmas Eve. You know the animation has gone to shit when you can barely see anything but the characters’ faces. Then colored slashes appear on a black background before you finally see a golem with red scratches all over it. It’s a failure of the imagination through and through. As a series, what does SAO even do well anymore? What is its calling card? It can’t even do action properly.

— Even when Asuna personally enters the fray, she’s poking away at a stationary golem that doesn’t even fight back. It’s so boring. Her triumphant moment is about as good as hitting a training dummy. And the scene has no drama in its composition:

Sword Art Online II - 1804

The colors are completely one-note. The background has nothing but some lazy-looking stars for a night sky. I mean, shit, you can’t even make the night sky look nice? Moving on, the worst part is that the framing is terrible. This is just your average David vs. Goliath scenario, but SAO does everything in its power to downplay the drama. You never get a monstrous sense of the enemy’s scale, because the show uses such flat, uninteresting angles to approach the fight. Case in point:

Sword Art Online II - 1805

Plus, we get a huge dab of Asuna’s ass, and her outfit obscures everything else about her. So not only does the golem look tiny and dinky, you can’t even see the heroine herself!

— Then what happens next? We literally alternate between these two images:

 Sword Art Online II - 1809Sword Art Online II - 1806Sword Art Online II - 1807Sword Art Online II - 1808

Where’s the drama? Where’s the drama when all I can literally see is the stab point and Asuna’s grimacing face?

— Do we see Asuna go through the golem? No. We see her after she has already gone through it:

Sword Art Online II - 1810

Asuna has also pulled the same pose twice, because we saw something similar earlier:

Sword Art Online II - 1803

A fight scene is a story, so when the girl repeats the same pose in the same fight scene, it tells me that this is a boring, repetitive story. Hell, there’s even less to look at now. The golem has turned into nothing but indistinct debris trailing behind Asuna. The background is just completely washed out in white. You gotta be kidding me, right?

— Most of all, this is such an amateurish effort; A-1 Pictures isn’t even trying. They’re just going through the motions, because they know people will give every single one of these episodes a high score anyway. Once you win your core fans over, all you have to do is maintain the same SAO feel. So long as that feel is there, no one will care that the budget has been slashed, the parts are now made out of cheap substitutes, and the show has thus become a cheap knock-off of its own self. McDonalds has perfected this art, and it looks as though A-1 Pictures is doing the exact, same thing. They know what they have on their hands: a burgeoning franchise that the studio can milk for all its worth. SAO has already achieved brand loyalty, so who gives a shit about putting in real effort? Even the soundtrack is the same recycled shit we’ve heard over and over.

— And what’s their reward? A generic landscape:

Sword Art Online II - 1811

— Ughhhhhhhh:

Sword Art Online II - 1812

— PAIED:

Sword Art Online II - 1814

This is the height of kitsch. The horribly misspelled word in the background that they’ve kept from the first season. Then out of nowhere, the fucking loli fairy parks her ass in front of the entire image and smiles at you. She can’t even be upright or anything. Your own daughter is on all-fours for God only knows why. She’s just so happy to see her e-parents buy a log cabin. Ahhhh, I’m in hell. This is truly hell, isn’t it?

— Also, in an MMO, there’d be a race against other players to claim these player-owned houses. Good thing SAO has no such competition. We wouldn’t want any of our characters to actually have to break a sweat.

— Everything is overly dramatic as fuck, but they can’t even execute that correctly:

Sword Art Online II - 1815

The key to the log cabin literally has to float down from the skies and into Asuna’s hands. But look at the goddamn key. Look at it! It looks like a key for some personal jewelry box, not a house. Even something that’s supposed to look dramatic is done horribly.

— There are so many things the story could’ve done to make this scene feel more meaningful. The fact that the log cabin still exists in its entirety is actually a misstep. All we see is our heroes defeating a golem to reach this area. Like A-1 Pictures, it thus doesn’t feel as if Kirito and company have put in any effort to reclaim their oh-so-special home. Imagine if the log cabin was no longer there. Imagine if our characters had to gather material and actually craft their log cabin like how it’s done in an actual sandbox MMO. Make the characters work for this shit, man. By working for this shit, it actually means something. And in turn, getting their home back will actually mean something. At the moment, it means nothing. They poopsocked through Christmas Eve, floated through some generic forest landscape, and found their log cabin just sitting there, waiting for them. Again, the drama was there for the taking, but the story does its best to downplay it.

— Asuna cries tears of happiness. How does that work? Does the VR headset detect your emotions and somehow translate it to the video game? Or did Asuna literally type out “/happycry?” I hope it’s the latter.

Sword Art Online II - 1821

— Lisbeth: “I wonder why looking at that makes me so sleepy.” I concur. Watching this anime makes me more sleepy than any bottle of Nyquil could.

— She then tells Asuna all about Zekken, some awesome duelist. No imagination here. Just exposition straight from Lisbeth’s mouth. This is boring. Next.

— Unfortunately, there’s no next. We’re sticking with this bullshit story. Not only that, we get to see all these generic goobers attempt to court Asuna because she’s a rich girl in high society:

Sword Art Online II - 1816

Thankfully, they all approach her in a line, so she can turn them all down at the same time. Her kokoro belongs to Kirito.

— Again, the story doesn’t even try. Right off the bat, we’re led to believe that these guys are assholes. It’s like the story has to allay our insecurities. Don’t worry! Asuna-waifu won’t dare cheat on you! See? They’re all jerks! There’s no threat here!

— There’s snow all around them, but Leafa still wears that shoulder and cleavage-bearing number. Apparently, it’s not so cold after all.

Generic cake shot to accompany our equally boring talk about this Zekken.

— How can one person bogart a sword skill to himself? Why does it matter if he refuses to teach anyone else how to perform said sword skill? With MMOs, people will eventually figure everything out, including the game’s many damage formulas. More importantly, I doubt this fact will change whatsoever even as MMOs get more and more complex. I thus find it hard to believe how anyone can have a unique skill all to himself.

— And again, this is just a bunch of characters sitting around in a room, going on and on about this Zekken. Their words are accompanied by still shots of half-eaten caeki. This is so dumb. Shit, if you’re going to adapt this in the lamest way possible, I may as well just read the light novel.

— But I won’t. There’s no fucking hell I’d do that.

— Apparently, even Kirito lost to this Zekken. BUT DON’T WORRY! HE TOTALLY WASN’T SERIOUS ABOUT THE FIGHT. The show’s insecure as fuck, basically. Kirito can never lose. If he loses, it just means he is dicking around. In other words, he fought Zekken without his awesome duel-wielding powers, so the results of their duel aren’t even legit. All you Kirito fans out there can rest easy. Don’t fret. Your Gary Stu is still a beast.

Sword Art Online II - 1820

— Leafa has a different account of the fight–… ah man, I don’t care. I’m done. Fuck the rest of this episode. Why should I waste my time watching this shit when A-1 Pictures is going to be this lazy? Characters sitting in a room, chatting it up for more than half the episode. What a joke. I’m going back to sleep.

Advertisements

32 thoughts on “Sword Art Online II Ep. 18: A-1 Pictures gives up

  1. anabchamploni

    Don’t worry E Minor, when the anime adaptation reaches the reboot it well get better, I swear. But Not.

    This anime is not even shitty anymore, it’s just boring. They will try to trick us showing why we should care for Asuna character but in the end it will be just about Kirito. Again.

    Reply
      1. anabchamploni

        Yeah, man SAO has a reboot.

        I don’t know if it’s because the massive amount of criticize he received, (which give us the best response ever) but the author decided to make a reboot of he LN starting on the Aincard Arc. Apparently, the epic history of Kirito and his haremettes still need be told one more time, but this time it will be absolutely perfect and more super mega awesome than ever. I bet you can’t await until the anime adaption reaches the reboot. I dare say that you more excited with this than Christmas.

        Ps: “If people think my LN’s terrible, write something more successful” – Reki Kawahara

        http://www.crunchyroll.com/anime-news/2012/12/17/sword-art-online-author-hits-back-at-critics-in-interview

        Reply
        1. E Minor Post author

          “If people think my LN’s terrible, write something more successful”

          Haha, that old, tired defense.

        2. anabchamploni

          Like I said the best response ever. This guy for me is awesome hillarious , he has the same mentally of the hard core fans of SAO, that’s why he make so much success with them.

    1. Anonymous

      If we literally took out Gary Stu the show would be a tad better. That’d mean a whole different story also.

      I would rather watch a typical Charlie’s Angels set-up than The Gary Stu Show.

      Reply
  2. mochirochi

    I was looking forward to this arc, because Asuna will finally do something. But I find it interesting that Shino is hardly in this episode. It’s almost like the studio knew that people like her with Kirito more than Asuna, so they didn’t include her with the girls. Even though I want Asuna to actually have her moment to shine, I find myself liking Shino more, but still. At this point I’m not even sure Shino knows that Asuna and Kirito are even dating.

    When those guys showed up my first thought was, “Ah, some more rapey guys.” I find it sad that this show has made me feel that way about every guy who isn’t liked by Kirito.

    Reply
    1. E Minor Post author

      And if they’re not rapey, then they’re pathetic like Leafa’s admirer or goofy like Klein. There’s no in-between, which just smacks of insecurity.

      Reply
  3. eternia

    I like this kind of post best.
    When E minor ripping a shitty show apart.
    A-Pictures has practically given up on SAO.
    They even put more effort on the kid show Magic Kaito.

    Can they please remove that shitty flying loli?
    Not only it’s a hax, it’s also a disgusting bait for pedo bear.

    Reply
  4. Anonymous

    It is completely inconceivable how sao is in any way popular or evenly still popular with just how awful every single piece of the story is. How much shitty light novel must one read to have their brains degenerate to point where this is actually watchable?

    Reply
    1. starg09

      I was going to make a eparate comment, but I prefer replying to you.

      I’m a fan of light novels. I’ve read all 14 translated ones, and I’m totally sad about these last 2 arcs. In Calibur, what should have been an story about the capabilities of the Cardinal system a it’s full state was reduced to a shitty adventure looking for a sword for the Gary Stu. In this arc things seem like will go the same. Now we hardly even care about animating, it seems like.

      The entire “Original Sword Skills” was a main topic in this arc’s novel, and they basically removed it: It’s meant to be skills not automated by the system, which you must record them manually, with a big speed, and you can then have them as automated, and share them to others if you want. Obviously they’re pretty hard to make, and the 8-hit skill from Eugene was a pretty rare one. The 11-hit combo is an almost impossible skill, that’s why it’s so rare. You may be asking: What about Kirito? Why hasn’t our Gary Stu made a 15-hit skill? Welp, he hasn’t managed to make a skill bigger than 5 hits, and it was already too complicated for him. Maybe this is why this topic was removed, we can’t let the poor Gary Stu look bad, right?

      ——————–

      Now I’ll write some personal opinion on this anime in general, and the LN. You can ignore this if you want:

      I discovered SAO in December of last year, and got really pumped at the beggining. Later on I got really hyped with the novels, and noticed the many incoherences in the anime. (in many ways…)

      A few months later, when I ended the 14th novel, I had already started to read other novels, whch I found more interesting to read than SAO’s. Then I noticed: the one thing that kept me reading until Alicization was the many topics analized on the novels: AI evolution, the possibilities in VRMMOs (like Unique sword skills)… And the anime hasn’t given a shit in ANY ONE OF THESE. It’s all about Gary Stu’s harem, and shitty scenes playing a VRMMO as if they would still die from a brain shock if they stopped playing for 3 seconds.

      I sincerely wait for SAO3, only because (sorry for the spoilers) the bastard will lose all contact with his harem, and he will have fights were blood will be spilled, and limbs will be lost, and just being Gary Stu won’t be enough to stay alive and get out.

      Anyway, that’s about it. If you read this far thanks for doing it :)

      Reply
      1. Anonymous

        I would like to think you are telling the truth but the excuse of how much the better next arc has been so utterly soiled by ggo i can possibly bring myself to believe. In addition to the contrasting statement of many general fans and what you have said, it is impossible for me to accept what people say unless i check the light novels for myself. But im am never going to because i believe that sao isnt just flawed in its adaptation, the core of the work is what severely flawed.

        Reply
        1. starg09

          I must agree with you on that. As I said above, what kept me reading them was those topics usually analized in deep detail. Without that, it’s just books written to make money. The plot has many holes, just as the anime, and some situations are just plain stupid… The only positive thing is that there’s much less harem (or at least less explicit harem), and Gary Stu is around 60% less Gary Stu than in the anime.

          What really makes me sad is that (even if you don’t believe me), the story that follows after this shitty season ends is a pretty good work by the author, at least better than the novels already animated. I at least feel like if one saw only the second half of currently published novels, and knew nothing about the first half, that person would probably be more attracted by the plot and development, tahn someone who has gone through all this story, and feel already exhausted of boring repeating stories…

  5. BoyTitan

    “Ahhhh, I’m in hell. This is truly hell, isn’t it?” Another mans hell is someone else greatest form of entertainment. I thank the heavens for making shit like this to get made fun of. You poking fun at SAO beats out screenjunkies making fun of twilight when it comes to entertainment.

    Reply
  6. Pia

    Is funny how Asuna doesn’t even ponder about asking Kirito what’s the deal with this Zekken guy, this is evidence of how shallow and one-sided their relationship is, also that battle OST was cool in first season, but now is annoying, they play it almost in every battle no matter how meaningless the battle could be.

    Reply
  7. Senpai will never notice you.

    Dear E Minor: Do you have any “rainy day” anime that you are saving for when you have no hope for anime? I am holding a couple, including Legend of The Galactic Heroes and Neon Genesis Evangelion, which I have intentionally put off watching.

    Reply
  8. Nicholas Kapur

    I was actually hoping that the next arc would be Kirito and the haremettes getting banned from SAO for haxxing with Yui, and then we follow Klein and Skuld for the rest of the season.

    Sure, it would be one of the stupidest fucking things ever put to film, but it would also be amazing.

    Reply
    1. beavis2323

      but then since klein is with kirito wouldnt he be banned also i just want someone in the anime to call out kirito for why the fuck does he has a fucking fairy telling him stuff

      Reply
      1. Nicholas Kapur

        Oh, there’s no reason that Klein wouldn’t be banned other than plot demands. But by this point, who cares anyway, right?

        To stretch a metaphor unreasonably, I feel like we’ve been watching this particular train wreck keep grinding along in one direction for a while now. Having someone drop another train on the tracks wouldn’t be any better, but it would be a nice change of pace.

        Reply
  9. Anonymous

    Had this mmo been Archeage, all land would have been occupied the second the area would have opened. Fk sunset gazing.

    Reply
    1. Hakaze

      If this was archeage, Asuna, Kirito and the haremettes would’ve demanded a refund three days after launch because they couldn’t get land and quit, the end. But Yui the hackbot loli would still be farming to this day. We wouldn’t have had to sit through this rubbish. Dang it, Trion. This was your chance at redemption.

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s