Fall 2014 Harem Hill, Week 7: Does milady require assistance?

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It would appear that she does.

Our current standings:

Grisaia no Kajitsu: 26+5 = 31 points
Ushinawareta Mirai no Motomete: 21+4 = 25 points
Trinity Seven: 14+3+1 = 18 points
Madan no Ou to Vanadis: 11+2 = 13 points
Daitoshokan no Hitsujikai: 6+1 = 7 points

Yeah, I thought Trinity Seven had last week’s worst episode. Not much to say about the rest of the poll results. They’re pretty self-explanatory. None of the shows changed places.


Daitoshokan no Hitsujikai Ep. 6

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— Infodumping time. Shepherd 771 takes the harem lead to the Library of Prayer. Yeah, it’s that fancy. And there, Shepherds from across all time and space (?) work together to help shape and guide humanity’s progress or something silly like that. In particular, they focus on individuals who can effect the greatest change on the course of history. Having said that, they can’t play favorites! They have to help everyone just the same… so long as this individual can greatly impact mankind’s future. This probably explains why Africa is still locked in bitter conflicts, plagued with dangerous diseases, and suffering from deadly malnutrition. It’s because these insightful anime Shepherds don’t see the point in helping them.

— Anyway, Kyotaro comes across a book that contains his past. As a child, he was bullied a lot, so he turned to books to find a solution. He thought some magical book out there would help him gain the confidence he needed to face his bullies.

— Needless to say, Nagi is rather bitter towards Kyotaro. Hey man, she can ignore third world countries in need much better than the harem lead can! What sucks even worse for her is that Kyotaro isn’t sure if he even wants to become a Shepherd: “It’s not like I want to make anyone happy…” Yeah, don’t get the wrong idea! It’s not like I care for humanity’s flourishing or anything! It just happened that way! I believe him. Who even cares about humanity? The endgame for this story is to get those juicy h-scenes:

motherfuckin shepherd

Aw yeah, motherfuckin’ Shepherd!

— Nagi continues to brood some more. I don’t know why she even cares. Can’t they both become Shepherds? So why does she want to discredit him so badly? In any case, she hopes to pair him up with one of the haremettes, because dating someone will disqualify you from Shepherd-hood or something. Well, the harem lead’s not going to bang these haremettes by himself! Are you going to wingman for him or what?

— That cat then shows up in a trillby, and tries to put the moves on m’lady. No, I’m fucking serious:

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— The next day, the Library Club fulfills more inane tasks. This is how you truly shape the course of humanity, yo. While looking for the gecko, however, Senri does that haremette thing where she trips and falls on the harem lead. Miyu, a girl from Senri’s past, just had to show up and bitch and moan about how the Song Princess has given up on her musical talents in order to flirt with someone like Kyotaro. Yo, don’t hate the player…

— Even though they have a gecko to find, Kyotaro almost finds himself taking Senri some place else… some place fun. He didn’t really stand a chance, really. What harem lead can resist such doleful eyes? Luckily for him, Nagi comes to the rescue.

— Nagi and Kyotaro have to prevent Sayumi from getting hurt. ‘Cause y’see, the midget girl will go on to develop a program that can totally change mankind forever! But that won’t happen if her hand gets injured? C’mon, you can still write the program in other ways if you truly have the passion for it. But hey, that’s the story for you.

— Unfortunately, Nagi screws up somehow, and Sayumi would’ve died! But quick thinking from the harem lead prevents this from happening. So is this better or worse than that event flag anime? I can’t even tell.

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— Nagi is of course bummed out that she nearly killed someone, but a pat on the head is all she needs! But then she tells herself to focus because she won’t become a Shepherd if she keeps this up. I dunno, man… I think this shit is pretty simple. And being jealous of the harem lead is probably one of those big impediments to becoming a Shepherd. Just a thought…

— After a hard day of saving cute anime babes, Kyotaro returns to the club room and eats one of Tsugumi’s cookie. Unfortunately, he was supposed to do it together with her or something, or else their love will never blossom. Oh well!

— But there are good news! The library has officially recognized the Shiori Happy Club! Oh boy! But then there are bad news. For some reason, this girl, the Vice President of the Student Council, wants to crush said club. Oh my.


Grisaia no Kajitsu Ep. 7

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— Is it Sachi’s turn to get all angsty on us? It would seem so. According to our maid, both Michiru and Yumiko have been acting sillier than usual lately. They’ve totally changed, and Sachi can’t be happy for them. But how can this be?! I could’ve sworn Yuuji solved them of their problems! If you go to the title screen of the game, you can click on the gallery and see that he’s earned those girls’ h-scenes fair and square! So y’know, maybe it’s time for Sachi to put on a dramatic show and dance, and thereby make the harem lead earn her h-scenes. We’ve already buried a girl alive, and faked another girl’s death in front of twenty or more people. I can’t wait to see how Sachi’s story will top the previous two. And remember, you guys, the original visual novel won the Grand Prize from the 2011 Moe Game Awards. Since 8-bit has been doing such an amazing job with this adaptation, you know Sachi’s story will be just amazing.

Time to roll your eyes, boys.

— A program on TV complains that kids these days have no perseverance. Makina thus comes up with a killer plan to prove those naysayers wrong… which Sachi literally takes up. What the Christ? She still ends up failing and collapsing in the bath. You just can’t get good help nowadays.

— The very next day, Sachi has recovered, but the harem lead is nowhere to be found. Instead, he revisits some old playground from his past and suddenly realizes that — dun dun dun! — he and Sachi used to be childhood friends! Well duh, at least one of these girls had to be his childhood friend. It’s a harem anime. To not have a childhood friend is tantamount to treason.

— Meanwhile, back at school, Michiru complains about an upcoming test. Suddenly, she turns to Sachi and asks our maid to get rid of the test. Sure, Sachi will go to any lengths to fulfill your requests — remember the milk incident? — but can she honestly make a test disappear? Amane smacks Michiru across the back of the head for making such an impossible request, but it is already too late. Sachi intends to make that test disappear somehow. I don’t know how, but I bet it’ll be silly and over-the-top. But you can already see Sachi’s story shaping up before your very eyes. She has this complex about helping people; in other words, she’s desperate for other people’s approval. I bet her parents don’t pay her much attention or something. Yeah, that’s probably it.

— Case in point:

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— We then see her running around the school at night, making notes about the floor plans and shit. Maybe she really does have a plan to make the test disappear. But she’s doing all of this in her maid outfit, so it just looks stupid. But what else is new? This whole anime is stupid.

— We then see her put on a gas mask and play with chemicals. How would a high school girl even get access to any of this stuff? Oh right, the internet.

— On the eve of the test, the girl eventually places these canisters all around the campus all by her lonesome. Quite a feat… But just as she arms these canisters to explode or whatever it is that they do, the rest of the haremettes show up. Sachi now tries to disarm the canisters, but of course, it won’t work. She then tries to get her friends to evacuate, but without telling them why they have to leave in such a hurry, it doesn’t work. Oh dear.

— In the middle of all this seriousness, we still get slapstick and not particularly funny slapstick.

— But we all knew the bombs wouldn’t go off. It’s the same as with Michiru. Yuuji lets Sachi believe that her actions will have dire consequences, so she’ll hopefully learn her lesson. Still, the episode is barely half over, so we can’t possibly be done with Sachi yet…

— How did Yuuji ensure that the bombs wouldn’t go off? It’s easy! Hurrrrrr.

— And of course, the water works turn on… no, not those water works. The worse kind. I dunno, Yuuji, I just don’t know… I don’t think this incident tops your “bury a girl alive” prank just yet.

— Michiru was right. They did end up doing pervy stuff.

— It’s dumb flashback time, because we can’t tell any of these girls’ stories without a flashback. And yep, her parents started paying less attention to her because they had to work long hours. Long story short, she tried to fill the void in her heart with the harem lead, but then Yuuji had to move away. A saddened Sachi then rejected her parents on her very own birthday, and afterwards, they died in an accident.

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A runaway truck or bus driving way too fast in a residential area, idiots standing in the middle of a street, a young loli seeing her parents’ (unintentionally hilarious) lifeless bodies in front of her — it’s literally that simple. The girl blames herself, yadda yadda yadda, she is forever striving to be a good girl, blah blah blah. Overly dramatic and angsty harem story… done.

— God, this is so contrived: “I have to be a good girl who does what she’s told!” There’s literally no subtlety to any of these stories. So super therapist Yuuji pats Sachi on the head, say a few nice words, and all is now okay. Literally, all is now okay.

— Then just to drive up the cornball factor even more, Yuuji says he’ll detonate the bombs, but fireworks appear in the sky instead. She’s fixed, boys! Time for that h-scene! I’m not even going to bother commenting on the episode’s last couple of minutes. It’s just substance-less schmaltz.


Madan no Ou to Vanadis Ep. 7

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— If you’ll recall, Tigre got injured in battle, so Sofya had to buy the harem lead some time to escape. Even though Roland is able to just shatter Sofya’s protective wall with a single slash from his legendary sword Durandal, Sofya can just up and disappear into thin air. Convenient.

— In a flashback, Roland says he cannot trust some shady-looking characters… and yet he follows their orders to crush and defeat Tigre anyway. Good man.

— Luckily for our heroes, Mashas and his army show up in the nick of time to force Roland to retreat. Who the fuck is Masha? Pfft, you think I’m paying much attention to these harem anime? Nah, man… nah.

— The latest crisis involves Tigre’s critical health. He’s not in good shape! Oh god, what do we do! He has a fever! Quick, someone get naked and huddle up close to him!

— According to Mashas, the king is so distraught over the prince’s death that he’s playing with building blocks. Hey man, I know people my age who still play with Legos. Don’t hate. Long story short, the king can forgive Tigre’s action if our harem lead can just provide a good justification for why he sought the help of a foreign army. It’s just too bad the king is somewhat out of his mind, and Tigre’s enemies are after his head.

— I sure do love this flashback-laden episode, though! Why wouldn’t you just tell these stories in an earlier episode?

— Even now, the haremettes are busy fighting for Tigre’s attention. Elen asks to be with the harem lead alone. When Titta reluctantly leaves her lord’s side, Bertrand reassures the maid that Tigre favors her. What? Her over a war maiden like Elen? Puh-leeze, Bertrand! What do you take Tigre for? That’s treason, you know.

— Elen: “…just hear the sound of my heart through the back of your hand.” We then get to literally hear her heartbeat, but it sounds absolutely terrible. Hilarious.

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— Elen promises to defeat Tigre’s enemies, and protect his people. Why would she go to such lengths? Because he belongs to her! Or is it the other way around? I can really tell anymore. In any case, she’s going to use her abilities against a human, which is supposed to be a big deal or something. Sofya also offers to help? Why? Pfft, why else: “My interest in Sir Tigrevurmud has been sparked quite deeply.” The metaphor doesn’t even make sense. How do you spark something deeply?

— Now, now, girls… save it for when the harem lead is actually conscious.

— We have to see Elen’s breasts bound as she rides her horse. A war maiden who often engages her enemies in close combat doesn’t need to wear heavy armor, I suppose.

— Tigre suddenly awakens and is led to some unknown location by his bow. Titta accompanies him because she has nothing better to do. As for everyone else? Bertrand is fast asleep, and he’s the only person assigned to watch over Tigre. It’s hilarious how easy it is for a lord to slip away from his camp unnoticed. Likewise, it should be easy for an assassin to slip in and kill him. It’s like his people don’t even care if he lives or dies!

— Somehow, there’s just this massive structure nearby that our heavily injured harem lead could reach on foot. Sure.

— As Tigre is exploring the shrine, his army — with Elen at the helm — is set to clash with Roland’s army. Our hero need not worry about such things. Right now, he has a date with Tir na Fa, “[t]he goddess who presides over night, darkness, and death.”

— Said goddess then takes control of Titta’s body! The only change, however, is that the maid now has red eyes. Very creative. She then tells Tigre that she can bestow upon him great power! But first, she’ll need a virgin sacrifice! Nah, I’m just joking… noooooot really. She dares him to shoot an arrow at his maid. But it’s Titta! How can he nail Titta with his arrow?!

— Very easily, actually:

Madan no Ou to Vanadis - 0705

Yeah, he shoots an arrow that merely rips her clothes to shreds. So I guess the goddess did require a virgin sacrifice after all.

— As Tigre leaves the shrine, it dissipates. Was this incident all in Tigre’s head or what? Still, with his newfound powers, he desperately rides back into battle.

— Even with their combined powers, Elen and Sofya are unable to defeat Roland. But when he sees Tigre riding up to him, he pauses the fight. He then asks Tigre whether or not Elen’s army is only here to protect Alsace. Even though Tigre insists that this is really the case, Roland still won’t relent. As such, the battle resumes.

— Tigre’s wound begins to bleed again, but remember, he just gained power! Glorious power!

— And like with Titta, Tigre’s arrow once again strips people of their clothing. What is this? The arrows of pervertedness? I do love the lack of detail in our heroes, though.

— Anyway, Roland admits defeat, and that is that for this week’s episode.


Trinity Seven Ep. 6

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— Harem anime loves their demon lord candidates, so Trinity Seven ups the ante by throwing another one at you. Isn’t that just great? Oh well. This just means Arata has one more haremette to tame.

— I swear, they simply record Lilith’s voice actor saying “Arata!” in that whiny inflection once, then just replay this sound clip over and over whenever it is needed. She never has anything to contribute but this.

— Lieselotte tries to recruit Arata to her side. She even promises to help him save his precious cousin. They thus seal their contract with a kiss. That was pretty much expected. What wasn’t exactly expected was how long the kiss ended up being. Yo, I don’t need to see a pair of poorly drawn anime characters tongue each other, disgusting strands of saliva and all. Someone must have watched Cruel Intentions. Since I have to suffer for my readers, they get to see it too.

— Lieselotte: “A-Amazing… This is the first time I’ve had anything so amazing… I mean, it was my first kiss with a boy, but I didn’t think it’d be so stimulating.” Oh, good thing you told us it was your first kiss with a boy. We wouldn’t want the audience to think that you’re dirty or anything. They might burn the Trinity Seven manga in their collection.

— And now that the girl has absorbed the harem lead’s powers, she just has to do as the harem lead does. I would expect no less. As you can see from the screenshot, however, Levy and Mira somehow manage to escape this rapey fate. They will thus do battle with Lieselotte while the other girls, including Lilith, continue to be useless.

— The ensuing battle is boring. I’m going to skip talking about it. You just have to know there’s way too much talking for a battle scene. Our haremettes are constantly dropping massive, steaming piles of infodumps on the harem lead. It’s quite sickening, honestly.

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— Long story short, Levy strips down to her underwear, because this is somehow necessary to chop off Lieselotte’s black wings. Oh well. It beings being forced to be completely naked, I suppose. You can tell the writer favors Levy, because she is never humiliated like the other haremettes. She remains untainted. This forces Lieselote to retreat, but Selina is still in serious trouble. Nothing has really been resolved just yet.

— As a result, Mira and Akio reluctantly take the harem lead under their tutelage. They admit they need him to defeat Lieselotte. Even so, the training goes about as well as you’d expect it to. Ho hum.

— But besides that, you don’t really see anything. You don’t see any real training. You don’t see our hero put in any actual work. It’s just a whole lot of talking. That’s why these shows are brimming with fanservice. They don’t know how to actually tell a story, so we’ll flash some tits and ass every once in a while to keep the audience hooked. But inbetween those fanservicey moments, you get nothing but one boring infodumping conversation after the other.

— Eventually, Lieselotte’s powers return to her, so she feels the need to tentacle-rape the school. So what does she do with the male students? You’ll never know… Still, the headmaster saves them. What a great teacher.

— Again, these are the demons that have attacked the school. Trinity Seven has run out of both money and talent.

— Lieselotte shows up to fight the headmaster, but again, they just stand in one place and talk, talk, talk. Alright. I’m done. On to the next show. I didn’t think another magic-related show could somehow be worse than Mahou Sensou, but here we are…


Ushinawareta Mirai no Motomete Ep. 7

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— We kicking things off with more flattering shots of Jennifer as always.

— All of the girls but Nagisa go over to Kaori’s house to bake sweets for the upcoming festival. Good lord. Naturally, Kaori is an excellent baker. Gotta have those waifu skills perfected if you want to bag yourself an ambitious harem lead… oh, we just have Sou. Whoops.

— Elsewhere, the boys gets to work with their hands. ‘Cause they are boys! And they’re going to grow up to be manly men! And the entire time they’re working on this project, Sou bitches up and down that the girls are wasting their time on baking.

— I swear I just heard this dumb joke before in another anime…

— Exciting footage of our heroes sitting around, eating scones.

— Then the girls bake some more! Amazing! Encore! Encore!

— For some reason, Yui excuses herself from the rest of the girls to sneak into Kaori’s room. There, she swipes her friend’s toy bear, promising to return it later. Yep, I’m at the edge of my seat. It’s the great bear heist of November 2014.

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— Now that she has alone with Kaori — ’cause AIri wouldn’t leave them alone earlier — Yui wonders if the latter has any feelings for Sou. After all, she says, if things continue like this… but she never quite spits out what she wants to say. Still, the clues here aren’t subtle, but we’ve already discussed Yui’s role in the story in a previous post, so I’ll just leave it at that. Kaori’s not too bright, however, so she just thinks Yui wants the harem lead for herself. Well, that is a possibility… So when the group splits up later to buy some stuff, Kaori idiotically pairs Yui up with her own creato–… I mean, Sou.

— Exciting shopping action! Fun for the whole group! Man, I always wanted to see some hot supermarket footage! Aw yeah, select those ingredients, girl!

— Tonight! We dine… with sandwiches! Man, the heart-pumping developments never end with this anime!

— When they get back home, Yui spends some more quality time with Sou, which allows her to reminisce about the good ol’ times. Yeah, it doesn’t get any more blatant than that. Also, Yui cointinues to be a haremette. One that Sou saw naked at the start of the series. And one that he could bang in the source material. That’s just… sick…

— When Kaori drops by to bring cookies for Sou and Yui, she only hears the latter say, “I think that person must be very important to me.” She then has a sad look on her face. You can already guess where this is going. Yo, if you didn’t want to lose Sou to another girl to begin with, then why the fuck did you pair those two up all day long? Even the drama is dumb.

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— At the end of the episode, Nagisa finally drops by, so Sou shows off the project he had been working on all day. But the biggest development is that he and Yui are now on a first-name basis, and this makes Kaori sad. The last time she was sad, a bus ran her over, so…


Week 7’s Poll

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3 thoughts on “Fall 2014 Harem Hill, Week 7: Does milady require assistance?”

  1. Bow is black, seems to wield evil/dark powers, it’s kinda perverted, oh boy I hope Tigre doesn’t turn into a Demon King of some sort, we’ve enough with Arata this season.

    “Lieselotte: “A-Amazing… This is the first time I’ve had anything so amazing… I mean, it was my first kiss with a boy, but I didn’t think it’d be so stimulating.”

    That’s one of the nonsense I hate the most, every bachelorette in (harem) anime is virgin and/or they never kissed someone before the harem lead, no matter how sadists or lewd they may be, they need to state that fact, I think less is more in this case.
    Anyway, this episode was boring, Arata’s training montage is the worst I’ve ever seen, just a bunch of explosions, that’s soo lazy, even some still images would’ve been better.

    I must confess that I laughed when they showed Sachi’s parents dead, especially her father, poor guy, however the entire scene was deprived of any originality, why they must die run over by a truck? that happens like billion of times in anime, hell, we even saw the same shit here before, remember that poor cat, guess what: it got run over too.

    My less disliked harem of this season so far is Vanadis… with each passing day is hardest to determine which harem is worst.

    1. oh boy I hope Tigre doesn’t turn into a Demon King of some sort, we’ve enough with Arata this season.

      He probably will be. All the girls are in love with him as soon as they lay eyes on him.

      Trinity Seven probably has no budget, and the studio just wants to get it out the door.

      1. That would explain why Tigre’s marksman skill are godlike level or I should say demonlike level XD.
        Trinity Seven just keep being a bad formulaic harem, is a mix of harems we’ve seen before like Highschool DxD and Ichiban Ushiro no Dai Maou.

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