Ah yes, another mecha anime from Sunrise that features a disabled imouto. That’s fresh and exciting!
— I’m sure Ange would love to go and save her dear sister. Unfortunately, she’s in the middle of a training exercise. Not only that, a Misty-sama is paying the island a visit. Gee, why would such an important person want to have anything to do with Arzenal?
— Of course she would! ‘Cause look! Arzenal is now a tropical paradise! And since Normas are conveniently all girls — girls of the same weight, body type, and height, apparently — it’s eye-candy everywhere you turn. Wow!
— Haha, we can even afford a carousel. Island prison, my ass. The official explanation is that they only get one day a year to have fun and relax. This just happens to coincide with the obligatory beach episode that all anime series are required to have. I can’t wait to see Mushishi‘s beach episode!
— But there’s like a totally legit reason for why they’re all in bikinis, you guys. It’s tradition, y’see. Trah-dee-shuuun. And while we’re at it, we may as well insult Salia’s flat chest because that’s just the height of comedy.
— Mm-mmm, takoyaki! The perfect delicacy to kick off the festivities! You can’t have an anime series without it!
— Salia: It’s a day of hope for us so we can endure our cruel tomorrow.” Yeah, right. The first few episodes were cruel. Since then, however, the story has dropped the ball hard. No one has died since Salia took over, they have a sweet-as fuck outdoor bath, they get to buy whatever want with their money, and Ange even has a goddamn maid.
— Fact of the matter is, life here is not so bad. Don’t get me wrong, of course. I’m not asking for torture porn, and I’m definitely glad Zola didn’t stick around for long. Still, it’s just hilarious to hear these characters talk as if they’re trapped in some deplorable concentration camp. Festa is their only day of…. hope!!!
— In fact, the anime has been overall pretty tame since Ange’s romantic getaway with Tusk. I guess Sunrise is mediocre at everything, including turning our stomachs. Speaking of Tusk, I’m surprised he’s only been in one episode thus far.
— As it turns out, this Misty character is really a princess, and not only that, her family is in charge of Arzenal. Well then… But perhaps the plot will finally pick up the pace again, because our princess asks Emma Bronson if Ange is really here on this island. For whatever reason, Emma feigns ignorance, but Misty presses the issue anyway: “Then please find her. I want to see her. No matter what.”
— It’s the annual racing of the pigs, and one of Hilda’s cronies is worried that their lesbian lover has been avoiding them as of late. The other one suggests that Hilda’s probably just on her period. Haha, wimmen and their menstrual cycles…
— Our former princess can’t fully enjoy the festivities, however, because the uncertainty of her imouto’s fate is still weighing heavily upon her heart and soul. She finally gets word that Misty wants to meet her, but Ange’s character has gone a complete 180 from when she first arrived on this island. She’s gone from desperately trying all she could to escape Arzenal to, well, not even giving a shit that a living, breathing princess wants to have a face-to-face meeting with her. But here’s the kicker! Her sister is in trouble!
— And just minutes ago, she just told Momoka that there was no point in worrying too much about Silvia, because hey, what can she do, right? As long as she’s a prisoner here, there isn’t a damn thing she can do to help Silvia. Well, guess who can probably do something, though. Psst, it’s probably the princess who wants to see you!
— It’s just so very difficult to root for or even sympathize a tiny bit with Ange. She’s proven over and over again that she’s just not very bright. She constantly antagonized her peers when she first got here, and now, she’s turning her nose at a princess just because there’s a chance — a mere chance — that Misty might mock her. Boo-fucking-hoo.
— So what does Ange do? She puts on a bear suit in order to avoid being hassled any further about the Misty issue. Very smart.
— Speaking of the bear, it looks like that one character from Kuchuu Buranko.
— At one point, Ange heroically saves a loli from an out-of-control carousel. The sight of the little girl falling from her fake horse reminded our heroine of her poor sister! Apparently, Silvia lost the use of her leg by pulling a Christopher Reeve. It’s just too bad this memory can’t seem to give Ange any clues on how she could use a meeting with Misty to her advantage.
— Here’s a random attempt at lesbian sex on a runway, because these characters don’t have their own rooms. After interrupting this little tryst, however, Ange finally realizes that Misty is royalty. I mean, even if she didn’t know earlier that Misty was royalty, it’s still rather probable that Misty could still pull some strings to help Ange out. So why would you not want to meet the girl and at least try your luck?
— And instead of just taking up the offer to see the princess peacefully, our heroine opts instead to punch and kick her way there! I also like how a princess is this poorly guarded. Even better, she’s on an island full of prisoners and she’s still this poorly guarded.
— We cut to Hilda, who has been waiting around the corner to kidnap Momoka. Hmm…
— Meanwhile, the rest of the characters are having fun competing in events like… uh, the “Bun-eating in melting swimsuits contest.” No, you don’t get to see the swimsuits melt. Don’t ask.
— Sadly, Misty is just another Momoka. Basically, she looks up to Ange, so she absolutely can’t believe it either that our heroine is just a dirty Norma. She even swears to uncover the truth. Meh. Boring. We have yet to meet a single intelligent or nuanced character in this anime. Unfortunately for Misty, Ange simply insists that she is a Norma. She then takes Misty hostage in order to escape Arzenal. We now have two hostages. Why do I get the feeling that Ange and Hilda will be teaming up with each other very soon?
— Not surprisingly, Hilda also wants to escape from the island, and she’s hoping that our maid can somehow pilot a transport ship. I’m sure she can. It’s magic! Anyway, Ange runs into Hilda, they do a whole lot of talking, and long story short, they are unlikely bedfellows for now.
— As the festivities draw to a close — and Chris has won the grand prize — fireworks explode across the dusk sky. Ange and Hilda use this opportunity to load up the transport ship and make their unlikely escape. For once, Ange wants to do something that I somewhat agree with: leave Hilda behind. Why take her with you? She’s a horrible person. Unfortunately for our heroine, Momoka doesn’t close the hatch to the transport, so Hilda is able to launch herself onto the ship anyway. What’s up with that? Momoka has almost always obeyed Ange’s orders, but for some contrived reason, she now can’t? Because she now feels sorry for Hilda? The same person who just held a gun to her head a while ago? The same person who had been tormenting her master? C’mon.
— As the ship takes off, Hilda loses her balance and is about to fall off the ship. As such, Ange still has a chance to leave HIlda behind. But Hilda had already managed to make an emotional appeal to our heroine’s heart. As a result, Ange pulls Hilda back to safety… probably because she feels guilty for what had happened in the very first episode.
— Even so, I don’t agree with helping Hilda out. Christ, the girl has repeatedly tried to kill Ange. Not only that, she doesn’t even know if Hilda’s telling the truth. The horrible girl probably is telling the truth, because this is anime and they want to redeem Hilda’s character. But if I were in Ange’s shoes, there’s no way in hell I would pull my attempted murderer back to safety. Nuh-uh.
— Jill ominously tells Jasmine to call… the boy! I don’t see what Voyboy has to do with this anime.
— Back on the mainland, a bunch of men surround the transport ship, which has now landed in some forested area. It’s interesting how Arzenal is all women, and these soldiers here are all men. I wonder what this says — if anything — about Cross Ange’s universe. Probably nothing meaningful, but it’s something to keep in mind anyway. By the way, Ange leaves Misty behind in the bear suit for the soldiers to find.
— Then as the credits play, HIlda and Ange part ways, but not before telling each other not to die.
What? Are you guys lovers now?