Shinmai Maou no Testament Ep. 1: Another demon lord candidate

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You know that feeling when your dad brings home two hot anime babes to be your little sisters? Yeah, you know what I’m talking about. And oh yeah, I’m publishing this post early, because I care. In the future, though, the posts will up later in the day.

— Food usually looks delicious in anime. Not in this show, though. Good lord, not in this show. Abandon all hope, ye food lovers.

— Meet Basara, the dude who’s about to get two sisters. Meet his father, who looks as though one of those 90’s anime catgirls have been undergoing hormone replacement therapy.

— Naturally, the restroom at this restaurant that they’re at is conveniently unisex. I’m not saying that this doesn’t happen. I’m just saying that it’s convenient. Why? ‘Cause how else are you going to walk in on your future imouto pulling her panties up in public?! Of course, she can’t lock the door, and we’ve got a ready excuse for that! Besides, it’s hard to worry about such things when you’ve got a javelin of light sticking out of your ass. Anyway, her name is Mio.

— God, everything about this show is so ugly.

— Yeah, this is a good idea, dude. This is how I always quiet girls in a public restroom:

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— Here’s the other imouto, ’cause you can’t have just one!

— And after a short introduction, our hero wakes up the next day to this. Did someone say something about a checklist of harem anime tropes? ‘Cause yeah… they’re not even clever about it anymore: “I thought a boy would like being woken up like this.”

Ugliest anime boobs in recent memory.

Ugh. Is this a light novel adaptation? Yes, yes it is. She also gets mad at him for owning an eroge.

— Check another item off of that list of tropes. She then knees him in the balls, because he’s such a pervert!!! Just because she was riding him cowgirl style just a minute ago doesn’t mean anything either.

— So the story goes something like… these girls were attacked by weirdos, and as such, they need Basara and his father’s protection. But of course, his father is an adult, so he’s going to make a hasty retreat from the story so that our hero can live an unsupervised life with his two new “sisters.”

Check. And apparently, Maria was the one who got that eroge for Basara as a move-in present.

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— Time for the hero to heroically defend his hot anime babe from jerks. Yawn. There isn’t even much of a narrative here. We’re just jumping from one trope to another in quick succession.

— Speaking of jumping from one trope to another, we’re now at the one where the couple shares a nice view of the city. It’s like a thing in anime, apparently. Anime characters just fucking love cityscapes. And they always act like it’s this special thing that they’re sharing with you. Instead of real actual intimacy, look at this sweet spot that I’ve found!!!

— Remember that hasty retreat I was talking about earlier? Yep. This shit writes itself. Just add water and heat for two minutes in the microwave. Ah, nothing like instant shitty harem anime in the coldest winter.

— But when our hero reenters his now unsupervised house, he learns that his imoutos aren’t just any regular pair of imoutos! Maria’s a succubus! Yeah, it’s still not original. As for Mio, uh, she’s apparently the next demon lord. Well, we gotta fit a demon lord into this generic-as-shit story somehow, right? The only difference here is that the harem lead isn’t a demon lord candidate himself…

— Haha, fourteen minutes into the episode, we finally get the OP. It’s full of naked characters, because that’s provocative or something. Nothing screams sex like shiny anime characters with a distinct lack of genitalia.

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— Basara’s standing in the presence of demons, but his biggest concern for the moment is that Mio had been lying to his face. Y-you mean you didn’t need my help from those jerks?! Y-you mean you didn’t appreciate the amazing view I showed you earlier? I don’t know what is real anymore!

— Blah blah blah, there are demons and heroes. The two demons here have chosen Basara’s shitty home as their base of operations in the human world.

— What the girls don’t know is that Basara has powers of his own! Special powers! He’s… a hero!

— He tells them to leave, then afterwards, he — like so many generic heroes in these generic harem anime — has visions of his troubled past. The differences between this story and Absolute Duo‘s is minute at best.

— Basara quickly learns the truth from his father. Mio’s the daughter of a peaceful demon lord, but he died and now, demons who don’t want to be peaceful are after her or whatever. I’m sure I’m missing a few details. I’m sure I might also be wrong about a thing or two, but really, do you care? ‘Cause I don’t. Long story short, Basara can’t kick her and Maria out. In fact, he’s gotta go protect them right now! Ah, if only he knew where to find the girl…

— B-but she wasn’t lying about dat cityscape! As a result, she takes Maria to see it before they must leave this quaint, little town! Take in that view, people. It’s fucking majestic!

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— Unfortunately, the moment is short-lived as they are quickly attacked by ugly dogs or whatever.

— Maria: “Keep struggling uselessly, and make me wet!” Welp, I haven’t been updating “Say What?” lately, but I guess I should now.

— An enemy knocks Mio over a ledge, and she starts thinking, “Oh no! I can’t die here!” Naturally, this gives Basara the opportunity to heroically arrive just in the nick of time to catch her falling body. Puh-leeze. If she’s a fucking demon lord candidate, are you really telling me that a little fall would kill her?

— Then when the girls ask him why he’s decided to help them, he answers that he simply came to get his family. He even has the picture file open and ready to show off on his phone and everything. What a beast.

— Anyway, that’s it for the first episode. Am I glad I decided to do away with Harem Hill this season? Could you imagine blogging these light novel adaptations all in one day as opposed to spreading them across the week? Yeah.

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19 thoughts on “Shinmai Maou no Testament Ep. 1: Another demon lord candidate

  1. Anonymous

    Hey, is it possible for you to blog about JoJo’s bizarre adventure? It starts tomorrow and has nothing you usually complain about. (There’s already 48 episodes but you can jump in tomorrow to see if you like it).

    Also, GJ on the review, I love reading these.

    Reply
  2. il-Palazzo

    “– Ugliest anime boobs in recent memory.”
    Nah, Dragnar is still worse.

    Ditching Harem Hill is sounds like a very good idea for this season, or for last season for that matter.

    Reply
  3. Roghek

    The same story written over and over again.
    No way I’m going to watch this show but something about this genre intrigues me, is there a way to fix this story, or any of it’s many sibling clones?
    They are aimed at an audience who likes it, otherwise they wouldn’t be making any more of them.
    Is just that conflict feels oh so trivial an uninteresting, or the bland characters?
    Or is the just no hope.

    Reply
    1. Anonymous

      It’s easy to make and requirs no thought. And apparently it sells, otherwise they would try to put more effort into their shows :/

      Reply
  4. spectreandy

    As bad as this shit-show is, I think the general consensus is that Absolute Duo is worse of these two. At least that’s what I gathered from /a/’s threads.
    Holy shit, is that saying something. And ta-da, both LN adaptations, what a surprise (not really anymore).

    The studio working on this show has a incredibly shitty track record and pretty only does LN adaptations. Maybe that’s partly the reason why nobody has expectations for this show. So shitty art and a typical demon lord storyline. Did they make this shit up in one afternoon because they wanted to go home before dinner time?
    At least this shit has more potential to spawn body pillows and a respectable amount of doujin. As if that’s somehow indicative of its “quality”.

    Supernatural and big-titted imouto. At least it’s something to laugh at since SAO II finished.

    Reply
  5. M0rg0th

    You know what you’re in for when the “hero” is more interested in meeting (& romancing) his new sisters than actually finding out who his new mother is supposed to be. Naturally one of the sisters makes the assumption she should wake up the “hero” by sitting on his crotch and then be disgusted by how perverted he is. It’s like these characters enact stereotypical scenes without even grasping the subtext of these scenes! This episode had the kind of silly writing where you wonder whether the characters are even aware of what situation they find themselves in…

    Reply
  6. Killer Queen Arbee

    I do wonder… if modern anime girls can punch the bland protags blasting them to space due to a sexual misunderstanding… why can’t they do the same with actual perverts?

    Reply
  7. Archmage

    So uhh the succubus girl is stronger than the demon lord? Wat
    Hero and demon lord’s first meeting sure is freaking rapey.

    Reply
  8. lost

    Utterly yawn-inducing. It seems weird to say but honestly it’d probably have a better chance of being interesting *without* the demon subplot.

    Reply
  9. ironherc

    So what’s worse,absolute duo or this? this is probably worse since while AD is generic as hell with it’s stupid harem tropes, this is just ecchi garbage. While I find this amazingly generic in both premise and plot……the only interesting thing i find from all this is the idea of hero clans. But instead of exploring that concept a bit obviously we cannot focus on any of that, we must focus on all the ecchi harem antics we’ve seen for a few years now. Also, what’s with Japan’s obsession with Demon Lords? Their D&D games must be boring as hell if that’s all they can come up with for their fantasy settings.

    Reply
  10. Lordreynolds

    Hey, It is called harem HILL. Means you gotta climb it.
    A slow, heavy, agonizingly mind rending boring climb.

    Do not let it beat you! Fight on! Soldier on! Its not like this mountain is a self regurgitating, endless milestone to stacking up shit so high that even the heavens shy away from it!!

    You han do it! Beat the shitty harem (cancerous tumor like)healign factor! WE ARE COUNTING ON YOU! How is your sex life?

    Reply

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