Absolute Duo Ep. 3: What a mockery

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So sad.

— It looks like Tora quickly found himself a new partner. Maybe this is why he wasn’t too excited about the possibility of working with Thor.

— Julie announces to the class that she and Thor are highly compatible. Well, that seems innocent enough, right? Everyone reacts as if she just said something dirty, though. Thor then has to clarify that he’s totally not a sex-haver.

— Anyway, Bunny Teacher announces that it’s time for the students to have a mock battle with their Blazes, but as she also grins maliciously as she says this. It’s just too bad no one in her class is actually paying any attention or else they’d realize that the woman is up to no good.

— Later that day, Thor and Julie are sparring in preparation for the mock battle.

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Stay focused, Thor.

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I like how Julie attacks from the front…

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…yet it manages to make Thor swing his shield back. Y’know, it might be a good idea if you try to keep your shield in front of you.

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But he doesn’t, so he loses.

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Yeah, I’d say so.

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Psst, keep it in front of you~

— In other news, Julie has decided to name Thor’s right fist Mjollnir.

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Yeah, that sure is one impressive-looking fist.

— Even later that day, Thor randomly stumbles upon a stumbling Miyabi. I’d just call for help, but Thor decides to take it upon himself to pick up an unconscious girl.

— When Miyabi finally comes to, she understandably freaks out. C’mon, what did he expect? But does Thor put the girl down? Nah, he just keeps carrying her until she submits. ‘Cause hey, he totally saved her!!! From, uh, lying on the ground.

— Blah blah blah, Miyabi is working hard so that she won’t let her Duo partner down. Thor offers some sage advice that goes something like, “Oh, you should try hard, but not too hard.” That’s deep, bro.

— Once again, Thor has a bad dream at night. Looks like some girl sacrificed herself in order to save his life. Judging by her age, it’s probably a sister or something. Harem leads are always mentally fucked up because of their sisters.

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— The day of the mock battle has come, and it’s full of uninspired fight scenes.

— Here, we have two students cosplaying as a pair of nurses for no good reason. This was originally a light novel, right? Did the author honestly spend a paragraph or two describing their nurse outfits?

— Eventually, our Duo comes face to face with Tomoe and Miyabi. The former wields a long, chain-like weapon, and you normally wouldn’t think that a chain would be very useful in such a cramp environment such as a school hallway. But of course, this is anime, so the chain weapon has no problems bouncing off of the walls as though it’s made out of rubber. And of course, the dimensions of the hallway itself will subtly change to accommodate the needs of the scene.

— For some reason, Miyabi’s weapon is an impractically large spear. So what am I supposed to think? She’s weak on the outside — and she even admits that she’s not too smart — but her soul is strong? In any case, she slumps to the ground when Thor blocks her attack once, but he takes pity on her and says that she had delivered a nice blow. Everyone gets a gold star!

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— At the other end of the hallway, Julie is just putting her finishing touches on being the top haremette of the series. This is a harem, but it’s not like the other girls really stand much of a chance. Absolute Duo has made it known right from the get-go that Julie’s the main girl. It’s funny, too, because if I recall correctly, the harem anime that has actually drummed up a lot of talk and discussion are usually the ones where every girl stands an equal chance. Remember that show where one of the girls was the harem lead’s sister, but he didn’t know which one it was?

— Anyway, enough about that. Thor is looking forward to battling his best buddy, but it looks as though someone’s already been there and done that. And it was none other than Bunny Teacher! Well, that was fast. I thought she’d honestly try to scheme a little longer in the background of the story.

— Wait, what? You didn’t know that? What’s the point of going to this school and honing your abilities then if your Blaze can’t actually hurt anyone? Speaking of which, where are all the adults? Why is this school-wide mock battle being chaperoned by a single teacher?

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— Our Duo finds that they’re no match for Bunny Teacher. She even taunts them by destroying Tora’s Blaze, which inflicts some great pain on the kid. He was unconscious, then he wakes up, screams, then goes back to being unconscious. Good man. I’d think that while she’s doing that, Thor and Julie could’ve tried attacking her, but then that wouldn’t be fair to Bunny Teacher, now would it?

— In fact, the fight is so boring, Bunny Teacher has taken to admiring her own breasts in the midst of battle. But she made the mistake of triggering Thor by calling him weak, and this suddenly grants him newfound strength…!

— …to miss completely. But hey, he tried.

— Somehow, explosions appear all around the school, but you can’t tell me that the fight is moving that quickly through the halls. And again, where is everybody? Hell, where are the other students? They only had a mock battle, right? No one actually got injured right? Did they all just fuck off and go home instead of sticking around to see who would win? And why wouldn’t you notice that your own school is blowing up?

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— The fight continues, but I honestly don’t see why it is so hard for our Duo to win.

— Eventually, the power of teamwork allows Julie to distract Bunny Teacher enough that Thor can land a critical strike on her weapon. Uh, right, he can’t land a single hit on her, but he can just destroy her sword with his fist. So doesn’t that make him overpowered? Can’t he just destroy everyone’s Blaze with his fist then? It’s not like he even has to aim. He’s punching directly at the serrated blade.

— So the day after, we learn that Bunny Teacher had been apprehended. By who?

— But who cares when we have Julie tripping all over the harem lead?!

— And of course, the other haremettes will always arrive at just the right time.

— After the credits — why does this show insist on including shit after the credits? — Thor has his recurring nightmare like always, so he goes outside to gaze at the full moon.

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— When Julie asks who Otoha is, he gets all mad and literally prances back inside.

— That’s when Julie reveals a scar on her back, and announces that she, too, is an Avenger. Well, this anime is as bad as that movie, so I can see it.

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9 thoughts on “Absolute Duo Ep. 3: What a mockery”

  1. “What the hell are we doing with this LN adaptation ?”
    “idk lol”
    “That doesn’t make any sense !”
    “Who care ? We are getting money for that”

  2. Best episode yet, but needs more action (especially the teamwork due to how horrible it was), and bond between the duo.

  3. Next episode has a transfer student. Greeeat. Is it that blond girl? I bet she’s just a generic tsundere who’ll fall over on the MC.

  4. …What the hell was this episode. Nothing seem to make any real coherent sense; and the animation was sloppy at best. While at times i am usually lenient on animes if I enjoy them before I look a bit deeper into it….there is just nothing here.

    The only way I can describe this anime is just pure Otaku bait.

  5. You no like Avengers!? BLASPHEMY!!!!!!!………but besides that the episode was meh, nothing that offensive, except with all the stupid generic harem antics. Also I find it hilarious that the evil bunny teacher would be some kind of hitman when clearly she stands out like a freaking sore thumb.

  6. “Did the author honestly spend a paragraph or two describing their nurse outfits?”
    he didn’t, I don’t recall such thing like a duo team conformed by cosplayers in nurse outfit, I read like 4 volumes of this crap so I don’t think they’re foreshadowing either.

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