Urrggggggggggggggh. Usually, you’re supposed to want to see or hear a character’s backstory. Usually. As soon as the episode started playing, however, it was like all the energy got sucked out of me. I just knew Lili’s story was going to be so lame. Y’see, her parents went into a dungeon in order to make money! Unfortunately, they died. They literally died. So this world has people suffering in poverty. It has starving, downtrodden adventurers. It’s just too bad we never get to see any of that unless it’s convenient, i.e. whenever we need to feel sorry for the cute loli character. Poverty in general is just not a very important world-building element without that crucial loli factor. But unfortunately for Lili, the world was full of evil, evil men! And they all have….
…LEVEL 1 SMIRK!
And also Throw Stone. They are all squires. As a kid, I used the fuck out of that ability in Final Fantasy Tactics, so you know this anime has done its research!
And these evil men mistreated poor Lili terribly.
This time, they upgraded to Throw Chicken Wing. Man, I never leveled Squire up that far.
Well, in a free world, Lili can just quit her job, and find other forms of employment!!! Heh, not so fast, buddy!
LEVEL 1 SMIRK!
LEVEL 1 CAST BLAME! We don’t have cops or public defenders in this world, because that would probably require citizens to pay taxes. So let’s just blame the loli and get on with our lives.
So in the end, Lili had no choice but to return to the smirking adventurers. Wasn’t that an awesome backstory, guys?
— Elsewhere, Eina talks to Loki about the Soma familia and the alcohol that they worship. This is probably crucial information, but I don’t find it terribly interesting when it’s discussed in such a dry and boring manner, i.e. let’s just sit in a room and listen to one character prattle on and one.
— As for our hero, his dearest mother asks him if his loli is reliable. Yes, moooooom. God, moooom. Just trust my judgment on this, moooooom.
— Later, Bellri meets up with Lili to go dungeon-grinding some more, but it’s time for our hero to graduate to the tenth floor. The tenth floor! What’s so special about it? It’s where large monsters begin showing up, I guess.
And uh, they have level 2 smirk? I’m not quite sure. Man, I wish there was a GameFAQs guide for this shit. Or maybe the anime about adventurers scaling a dungeon should probably focus a little more on the dungeon aspect of the story.
— Outside the dungeon, Eina runs into Eyes, and they can’t help but talk about Bellri. It’s really a small world. So small, there’s really nothing to talk about but some boring kid over and over. Luckily for them, a bunch of adventurers happen to walk by and loudly discuss how Bellri is about to get fucked over. That’s what I do, too. Whenever I’m about to commit a crime, I’ll scream it at the top of my lungs in a crowded area full of other adventurers. But thanks to this, Bellri fans need not worry. One of his many mommies will come to his rescue.
— Bellri starts fighting the ogres one-by-one, and he doesn’t seem to have any trouble doing so. But do you see that turd? Apparently, the turd lures in monsters, so Bellri soon finds himself swarmed by ogres.
— Lili takes this opportunity to thus steal Bellri’s precious dagger once again. The kid’s really an idiot. Hestia went to such great lengths to get him a weapon specially forged by a goddess, but some supporter hands him some generic baselard, and he’s like, “LOL SURE, I’LL USE IT!”
— Unfortunately for Lili, she doesn’t make it very far before she runs into a smirking adventurer. He then proceeds to beat her up and rip her cloak off. Geez. But then that asshole runs into even more smirking adventurers! And they’re all EVIL, EVIL DUDES. THE WORLD IS 99% EVIL MEN.
— Lili begs for help and even gives away the key to all the money she had been saving up…
…but in the end, she is thrown to the man-eating ants. U…guu…
— Oh my God, just get on with the story already. We all know Bellri’s going to show up at the last second to help the loli. Yes, despite all that she’s done to him, he will help her at all costs. What a nice guy. What a true gentleman!
M….milady! Dost thou require my assistance?! But it’s not like he got here on his own or anything. Oh, don’t worry. Someone’s always babysitting dear Bellri.
“BUT I WAS SUCH A HORRIBLE BITCH TO YOU!” It’s true. She was.
She even hits him across the face. Many thanks! Much gratitude!
BUT MILADY! THOU ART… A LADEH.
Yo, all women are precious. And all men are jerks. Except me.
And just like that, the taming is complete. With all of the other girls mothering him, he needs his own sad sack of shit to baby.
— Elsewhere, Eyes stumbles upon Bellri’s armguard. But what about his magical dagger? What about the weapon that Hestia is still working herself ragged in order to pay off? Oh, I’m sure our hero will eventually recover it in next week’s episode. Still, the lack of desperation here seems a bit off. It’s almost as if he doesn’t care about it enough. Well, of course not.