Whoa… are you sure you want to be doing that? Hugging in public? SHAMEFUL!
— It should be noted that — in case you’re not watching this series and you’re only following it through my posts — the two of them don’t end up actually hugging. In fact, despite last week’s episode, all we’ve really seen from these two are hand-holding nonsense.
— But what stopped them from hugging each other? Two guys suddenly jump out of the bushes and start begging for Takeo’s help:
Our hero accepts without even hearing them out. Why?
‘Cause they’re bowing to him! And people don’t bow unless they have good intentions! I mean, how bafflingly optimistic. But that’s what this show is. It lives in this protective bubble away from the real world. There are no real conflicts here. Take, for example, the fact that so many girls in this universe — and even the grown women, too! — are oh-so-shallow because they aren’t in awe of Takeo’s manliness, but that’s not a conflict. Nothing results from it. We simply just brush it off as “Hurr hurr, young girls are like that!!” We paint those girls in broad strokes, so we don’t have to take them seriously. We can quickly return to our world of good feels and honorable manliness!
— Anyways, the judo club needs Takeo’s help to beat a rival school. That’s pretty much it. No big deal right? Well, Ore Monogatari!! tries to inject some drama into the situation.
Because he has to prepare himself for the big match in a month, Takeo won’t be able to see Rinko… at all!!!
— Um… really? You can’t exercise all day, everyday. That’s actually unhealthy and unsafe. There’s plenty of time for Takeo to see his girlfriend for an hour or two a day or even every other day. But nope, we can’t be reasonable. And Rinko’s completely fine with it, too.
She’s not even like a real girl with real reactions (see: last week’s episode). She’s just, “Work hard!” and “I’ll support you!” and all of that feelgood nonsense. Since she’s such an ideal Japanese maiden — always ready to cook and bake for Takeo, worrying herself sick that she’s impure because she admires his broad shoulders (oh me, oh my!) — Rinko doesn’t even mind at all that she’ll rarely see him for the next month. She understands, ’cause he’s working hard! And when they’re married and he’s gone for 12 hours a day, it’ll still be fine, ’cause he’s working hard! Pay attention, young ladies!
— This is one of those cheap episodes. Every show has one, and they usually crop up midway through a season.
Here, we see boring shots of Takeo training and sparring in the judo club. Hardly exciting stuff.
— One day after practice, Takeo finds Rinko waiting for him with a bag full of onigiri (fucking rice balls again). Of course, he appreciates her dutiful efforts, but… but… we weren’t supposed to see each other!
— Conveniently enough, he spots a sign that says, “Beware of gropers!”
Oh no, Rinko is a delicate flower that people would love to grope! But instead of just voicing his concerns to his girlfriend like a normal person, the guy goes, “But you shouldn’t come here again.” That’s it. Nothing else. No other reason. And our dainty Japanese maiden doesn’t protest. She doesn’t even ask why. Holy shit. HOLY SHIT. What a fake conflict!
— As usual, it falls to Makoto to assuage the girl’s hurt feelings as he accepts her bag of leftover, heart-shaped scones. Yawn. All’s well that ends well, I guess. Even that tiny of drama was quickly resolved, and worst of all, it wasn’t even resolved by the two people directly involved in the relationship.
— We get another montage of Takeo working hard, but this time, we see him and Rinko talking to each other through text messages:
Like I’ve said, it’s one of those low effort episodes.
— It’s the day of the match, and Takeo’s opponent is shocked to learn that our hero has a girlfriend. He thinks victory is assured, because hey, girlfriends are a huge distraction!
You’re right, buddy. No man has ever successfully accomplished anything great while being a good boyfriend in a relationship.
— You tell’em, Takeo! Girlfriends aren’t bad…
…even though you rarely spoke to her for an entire month. and only talked to her on the phone once! Girlfriends aren’t bad… when they stay da fuck outta da way!
— Unsurprisingly, Takeo wins:
— And with that, another episode full of fluff draws to a close.
This is so boring. The hope of having the couple get together early is so that the story can potentially explore the trials and tribulations of being in an actual relationship. That’s the idea, anyway. So much for that.
— The most exciting thing about this episode was the onigiri, which is why it’s in the title.