Monday Blues: Week 5 of Hundred and Seisen Cerberus

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You’re probably thinking, “Why are you even watching these shows? You could be watching Concrete Revolutio or Rakugo Shinjuu instead!” Well, you’re not wrong, but here’s the thing. Have you seen my recent posts on Kabaneri of the Iron Fortress and Kuromukuro? I put a lot of thought and effort into those posts, and I’m quite happy with how they turned out. But if I had to do seven or eight of those posts every week, I’d burn out really quick. Do I like Hundred? Hell no. Do I enjoy Seisen Cerberus? Not a chance. But it’s something easy I can process, and it’s fun to just rag on some bad shows every once in a while. And there’s nothing else to watch on Monday, so here we are.

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I haven’t touched either of these two shows in quite a few weeks, so in theory, it would make sense for me to fill you in on what has happened while we’ve been gone. But the truth is that these shows are ass, so there’s not much to cover. In Hundred, we’re still in that early process of meeting all of the haremettes. At the same time, you learn that Hayato is a Variant, which means he’s half Savage, half human. It’s as dumb as it sounds; he’s super strong in battle, but he hasn’t quite learned how to control himself yet. To quell the beast inside him, Emilia has french kiss him. Nope, you didn’t misread that. They literally swap germs in order to pacify the hero when he goes berserk. Sigh… currently, Hayato is tasked with guarding some famous idol.

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In Seisen Cerberus, our hero, who is appropriately named Hiiro, is dead set on avenging his parents’ deaths at the hand of the evil dragon Dagan Zot. It’s a terrible name, I know. To do so, however, he needs to retrieve the Gran Trowa or some shit. It’s an artifact that used to belong to his dad, I think, but it has now fallen into the hands of some evildoer. We’ll get to the evil doer in a moment. In the meantime, all you need to know about our hero is that, well, he frankly kinda sucks. Amusingly enough, Hiiro literally trains by fighting slimes. Better yet, he fights against baby slimes. To cap it all off, the baby slimes repeatedly whip his ass up and down the court. The kid has no combat skills whatsoever! Still, a cute girl falls into his lap, then one with really big breasts, and last but not least, throw in a little kid just for shits and giggles. And with that, Hiiro’s RPG party is ready to leave on their journey.

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My question of the week is what’s worse? Rampant fanservice?

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Or a braindead heroine? Saraato has barely shown any skin. And to Seisen Cerberus’s credit, we don’t have the obligatory childhood friend, the obligatory blonde tsunderekko, the obligatory idol who happens to be a childhood friend anyway, so on and so forth. But to the show’s absolute detriment, Saraato is about as smart as a fucking mushroom. Wait, no, that’s an insult to fungi everywhere.

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So fanservice or vegetable? That’s a tough call, man.

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Saraato is cringe-inducing, and sadly, Erin is hardly any better.

Moving along, you probably won’t be very surprised to learn that Hundred is an adaptation of a light novel series. As a result, this week’s action-packed episode features a date with Emilia followed by a date with the idol Sakura.

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It may as well be slice-of-life. Towards the end of the date with Sakura, it is revealed that Hayato has met her in the past. Funny how people never seem to recognize each other in anime. Furthermore, she has a tragic story where she’s been experimented on. Boo hoo, that’s sad, etc. With Hundred being so appallingly boring, Seisen Cerberus has this in the bag, right? At least the characters there actually go on adventures, right?

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Yes, Hiiro and his buddies definitely go on adventures, but the problem is that it’s so fucking ass. Everything about it is so fucking ass.

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At some point, our hero goes up against turd golems. I’m really not joking when I say they look like turds.

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And I wish I had a GIF creator so you could see just how bad the animation is in the scene above. Point is, you either get no action or terrible action. You literally have a moment in which a loli merchant pops out of a treasure chest, then some of the heroes escape by being thrown into said treasure chest. Like yeah, Seisen Cerberus has a more fleshed out universe, but is it a universe I really want to learn more about? Again, which is better?

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Hayato comes from a long line of overpowered main characters. He has a natural affinity with Hundred weapons, he can go berserk and kick everyone’s ass, and oh yeah, he gets all the babes. On the other hand, Hiiro isn’t overpowered at all. That’s a good thing, right?

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Actually, it’s embarrassing just how bad Hiiro is. I don’t remember a single episode in which he doesn’t get his ass handed to him. In this week’s episode, he gets destroyed twice.

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I’m sure it’s a running joke at this point. The animators are just having a ball every time Hiiro confidently leaps into battle and just gets absolutely wrecked. It’d be funny if the guy wasn’t so goddamn cocky. So you’ve got Hayato’s fake humbleness versus Hiiro’s arrogant ineptitude. Not only that, he has the ability to go berserk too! But instead of being clad in some lame-looking armor, I guess… he’s Edward Cullen now? Again, I guess the latter is sorta amusing in a sad way, but Seisen Cerberus is pulling ahead by only the slimmest margins.

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Last but not least, we gotta talk villains. Do we even have bad guys in Hundred? We’ve got those boring Savage creatures, I guess. They’re absolute caricatures, though. They’re just these giant, semi-insect-like beings that show up and destroy stuff without any rhyme or reason. They’re there because Hundred needs to pretend it has a fucking plot when it’s really just interested in ecchi antics.

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On the other hand, Seisun Cerberus’s main antagonist seems to be some dude who’s attempting to… uh… manipulate the stock market? He’s driving up the price of magic stones, which I’m sure he’ll profit from. Man, so compelling. And then he’s a crooked arms dealer, I guess, by selling this weird-ass weapon to both sides of a conflict. You gotta give Seisun Cerberus credit here for trying, but the execution is hilarious.

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In the end, I guess Seisun Cerberus is the slightly better show, but just barely.

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8 thoughts on “Monday Blues: Week 5 of Hundred and Seisen Cerberus

  1. fgfdfh

    “My question of the week is what’s worse?”

    Fanservice>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>braindead characters. At least fanservice can be occasionally amusing. And the artists have a chance to draw boobs. Okay, those shows are pretty bad at drawing sexy scenes most of the time, but that’s still better than watching some idiots screwing around. Watching anime braindead is as interesting as watching paint dry.

    Reply
    1. ioncarryon

      As someone who gave up on Berserk eons ago for a similar reason I have to agree, though at least here the dopey moeblob isn’t a product of forced shock scenarios and atrocious work ethic.

      Also, I have to say that you never really know how painful it is to watch paint dry until you actually attempt it. It’s a shame when any aspect of what is supposed to be entertainment actually reflects that level of mentally eroding boredom haha

      Reply
  2. ioncarryon

    “But it’s something easy I can process, and it’s fun to just rag on some bad shows every once in a while.”
    Welcoming words, mate. Glad to have you back, and glad your days are warmer than before.
    That said, thanks for the brief recap. Perfect jumping-on point for me to get back into the MoeSucks swing.

    Seisen Cerberus: I suppose we’re supposed to clap like seals when an anime pulls the old trick of inserting JRPG tropes/references again. Used to be funny when I first came across it. Now it feels like the BBT of anime approaches.

    Also: “We were injected with a vaccine made with savage fluids” ayy

    I wonder if it would be amazing or exhausting to have the protagonist never once really be the great hero his attitude pretends he can be. Imagine if the whole series is him just eating dirt constantly until there’s a big build up in the final climax….only for him to eat dirt again. I’ve never seen such a loser before. The idea is hilarious but I don’t know.

    What do you think, mate?

    Reply
    1. E Minor Post author

      An anime Don Quixote would be pretty funny. Not a straight up loser like you’re suggesting, but at least a very naive and idealistic fool.

      Reply
      1. ioncarryon

        haha Nice, I can dig that actually. Sadly they’d probably ruin it with copious amounts of moe for cash-grabbing and merchandising, though honestly if the hero was naive and idealistic enough at least he’d have a reason to be typically dimwitted and/or anxious about the inevitable romance (and fanservice) scenarios.

        Reply
  3. Cpunt

    What is japan and anime’s obsession with light novels? Aren’t they just really shitty short stories that are written like someone was writing them on their cell phone on the subway to work? Even fanfiction is at least more well written and fleshed out than this (even if it is terrible in it’s own ways)

    Reply
  4. Karandi

    I started both of these shows and dropped both. Cerberus was terrible from the get-go but I kind of tried to hang in there because there was a dragon. Not even that could save it and by episode three I was actually reading while the episode was streaming until I realised what I was doing and simply turned it off. Hundred made it an extra week but I can only handle one completely cliche bit of silliness at a time and that position is currently held by Asterisk. SO Hundred had to go.
    Glad I’m not the only one finding these hard to get into. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

    Reply
  5. Archapp

    It’s kinda sad that it took some delineation on your part for me to realize these were actually two different series’.

    Reply

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