I wanted to get this post up a whole lot sooner, but as soon as I sat down to watch the episode, Comcast decided to take a giant dump. Naturally, calling them was no help. They just told me there was an outage in the area, and things would be fixed sometime in the middle of the night. Woo. So I’ve been marathoning The Office for the umpteenth time while I waited for my internet to be fixed. Oh well, at least it’s just Mayoiga.
— Quiet down, everyone! Masaki will finally tell us the truth! A while ago, she tagged along with her cousin Reiki, who was obsessed with locating the Lost Village. Along the way, they encountered fog! Ooooh, spooky! This is for all you Silent Hill fans out there!
— Eventually, it began to get dark, so Reiki and Masaki tried to return home. Along the way, however, her cousin saw one of those scary monsters of the psyche that everyone sees. Everyone but Masaki, of course. At some point, she tripped and fell down a… crevice? A cliff? It doesn’t matter. The flashback ends here. Back in the present, Masaki claims that when she came to, she found herself back on a highway. Uh-huh.
— A good, suspenseful thriller will keep the audience on edge, teasing us the entire way until we finally reach the explosive climax… ahem. In Mayoiga’s case, it definitely tries to string us along, but it’s never fun. Being teased is supposed to be fun. Do it incorrectly, and it can get frustrating, but for the most part, this is meant to be an enjoyable experience. But what is remotely enjoyable about Masaki’s story? Last week’s episode ended on a cliffhanger, and Masaki’s flaccid tale is what we end up getting. There’s nothing remotely compelling or intriguing about it. Oh, I came here with my cousin, then I got separated from him, and now I’m looking for him. Holy moly, talk about a snoozefest.
— And this isn’t the first time Mayoiga has let us down. Remember when the weird penguin monster first showed up, and we were like, “Damn, I guess I gotta keep watching!” Then what happened? We got a bunch of lame ass backstories.
— Remember when Mitsumune thought he saw Yottsun’s body floating down the river? Then what happened? Nothing. The group searched the area and found nothing.
— Remember when what’s-her-face thought she saw a giant Mitsumune in that dark tunnel? Then what happened? Again, nothing. The anime never does anything exciting with these cliffhangers. We’re not even being teased. Again, being teased is at least a teensy, tiny bit gratifying. At this point, I’m just dead on the inside. Masaki’s story doesn’t even elicit a groan. I just sat there bored.
— As expected, people find holes in Masaki’s story, and they continue to grill her. None of this engages me. There’s no grand mystery here. We’re just twiddling our thumbs until the series is over. At one point, people wonder if Reiji was actually Masaki’s lover, so Mitsumune looks all concerned. But Masaki corrects them by stating that Reiji is her cousin, so our protagonist is elated. I guess I’m supposed to be amused by his reactions, but no. It’s just old hat at this point.
— Naturally, Mitsumune defends the girl, but we’ve seen this before. He’s defending her the exact, same way he defended her in the past. It’s like I’m stuck in a time warp where I’m forced to relive the most boring day of my life over and over.
— According to Masaki, Reiji had this theory that there is possibly more than one weirdo village out there. Great. Maybe Mayoiga can get a sequel for all you fans out there.
— People wonder if the tunnel is the way out, but then Masaki tells–… actually, I don’t want to talk about this anymore. No matter what the truth is, it won’t be satisfying. After two months’ worth of episodes, Mayoiga has consistently failed to deliver on anything but stupid characters.
— And somehow, people keep going on and on about how Lovepon is the best character of the year. Yeah. It doesn’t matter if they love her unironically, I’m just like, “Why?” Seriously, I feel so disconnected from the anime community.
— You can’t have people standing around in one place forever, so the bus driver crashes the party and kidnaps Masaki. He literally just yoinks her out of the scene. Mitsumune comes along for the ride, because he needs to protect her. Likewise, Speedstar literally hangs onto the side of the bus, because he needs to protect Mitsumune. Great. How did the bus driver get the bus up here? Beats me!
— But again, Mayoiga will pretend as though something big will happen, aaaaaand… nothing interesting actually happens. I mean, the bus driver just wants to see his dead daughter, and he believes that a ghost should be able to help him do just that! So once again, a cliffhanger of sorts shows up in the story, and shortly afterwards, we get a flaccid follow-up.
— Various people do some more talking, but it’s hard to really care. The girl who saw the giant Mitsumune drones on about how she wishes she had someone to defend her from bullies. Hoo boy, that’s some scintillating character development right there.
— I read last week that some people are fans of the girl who speaks slowly, but nevertheless considers herself a detective. She’s barely had any impact on this story! What is there to even love? It’s like Stockholm Syndrome or something. Well, gee, everyone sucks, so… gotta love somebody!
— Right before the episode ends, Koharun joins Valkana for a nice, little jaunt through the forest when arrows start raining down on them. The attacker is none other than…!
This weirdo! Oh boy, another cliffhanger! You know what to expect next week! A fucking limp dick.
Why am I still watching Mayoiga if I despise it so much? Eh, may as well finish it at this point. Anyway, Concrete Revolutio and Kuromukuro later. The weekly post on Kiznaiver will probably be pushed back to Sunday.