Don’t worry, because this won’t be a regular thing. I’m just doing another quick impressions post to pare down the summer shows. Obviously, I can’t cover them all. But before we get to the new stuff, let’s wrap up some leftover spring series.
Netoge no Yome wa Onnanoko ja Nai to Omotta. Ep. 12 (Finale)
The Alley Cats and their allies ultimately prevail over the elite PVPers. Well, no surprise there. But how did they do it? By running out the clock. Obviously, our heroes can’t compete in terms of raw PVPing ability, but they have a whole bag of clever tricks for their unsuspecting opponents. I won’t recap the entire battle. I’ll just focus on the pivotal moment, which was when Kyou kept spamming potions to keep herself alive against Bats. While this is clever in an anime sort of way, it is also hella cheap. This is why MMOs have cooldowns on consumables. For people who don’t play MMOs, it means that when you use a consumable such as a potion, ether or what have you, you will then need to wait for a certain amount of time to pass before you can use the same consumable again. This prevents players like Kyou from abusing potentially game-breaking items in such a fashion. ‘Cause let’s face it… the only reason she has so many potions to begin with is because she’s filthy rich in real life, and most players frown on any sort of pay-to-win advantages. Hell, even Kyou’s own guildmates tried to wean her off of spending so much money on in-game items. But at the end of the day, she had to fall back into old habits in order for her guild to takeover the fort. So did anyone actually grow and mature over the course of this series?
Nishimura even finally relents and accepts that Ako is his wife, but of course, nobody ever has the guts in this anime to make-out or anything. I guess you could call it a compromise on his part, but I dunno… On the flip side of the coin, Ako is less of a shut-in these days, and Segawa is less neurotic about keeping her personal life and her school life separate. So is this progress? Ah, who cares… Netoge no Yome wa Onnanoko ja Nai to Omotta is actually not as bad as I thought it would be, but I’m ready to forget all about it and move on.
Seisen Cerberus Ep. 13 (Finale)
At the last second, Nambuuko decides to merge himself with Dagan Zot, but he makes one critical mistake: he enrages Hiiro. Everyone knows that when the hero is pissed off, their strength grows exponentially. So even though the kid had been useless for 99% of the story, he pretty much takes Nambuuko out in two moves. Tsk tsk tsk… if Nambuuko had never killed Saraato, none of this would’ve happened. Then it’s Dagan Zot’s turn to pick a fight with Hiiro. Even though the kid walked away from that one mage dude (Master something… I don’t even remember anymore) wholly unimpressed and unconvinced that he had learned anything, Hiiro suddenly realizes that he has great magical powers. And just like that, he also defeats Dagan Zot without breaking a sweat. Man…
So Hiiro gets his original heart back from Dagan Zot, but instead of putting it back in himself, he gives it to Saraato. This revives the girl, and the show gets its happy little ending. Even the 362-year-old loli-turned-catgirl has a bright future. I don’t think a single character underwent any sort of emotional development throughout the course of this anime. Well, Saraato can now cry. I assume it’s because she now has a human heart, but I guess her “father” inexplicably dying must also be pretty sad for the girl. By the way, what was up with that? Creepy old man just randomly died offscreen. Ah, whatever. This was a show for kids, so I’m not gonna hold anything against it. Seisen Cerberus is just another vapid, inconsequential adventure tale to come and go.
Alright, time for some summer shows…
Fukigen na Mononokean Ep. 1
Pure fluff. There’s nothing offensive about this show, but there’s nothing challenging about it either. What we have here is yet another story about yokais, and how we need to peacefully coexist with our surroundings or whatever. It’s the typical zen-like, peace-loving schtick that you see every now and then from anime. Our story kicks off when Ashiya stumbles across some big, furry thing on his way home. The yokai quickly attaches itself to him, and slowly saps the kid of energy. I’m writing this post while my 12 lbs. cat is sitting in my lap, so I can sympathize. As luck would have it, there’s an exorcist at Ashiya’s school. Abeno, the exorcist, points out that the furry yokai is lonely and just wants to play, so Ashiya plays with it until it’s happy enough to go back home to the underworld. But now, he owes Abeno a bunch of underworld money, and he’ll need to work it off as the latter’s assistant or something. Yawn. Like I said, the show is pure fluff. I don’t recommend going out of your way to watch it, and I doubt I’ll continue covering the show after this week.
Masou Gakuen HxH Ep. 1
You over there! Quick! Molest that unconscious girl! This is for the sake of humanity! Making a girl orgasm is the only way to energize her back to full fighting capacity! Even if she doesn’t want it, it’s for her own good! Well?! We haven’t got all day!
Truth be told, I didn’t find the anime all that cringeworthy or subversive. In fact, the whole thing was kinda boring. Maybe I’m just desensitized from all these years of watching anime, but haven’t we seen this sort of thing before? With Daimidaler? There was also some other mecha show where they had to make out and shit in order to fight. Meh, I can’t remember them all. Point is, this show doesn’t even have the shock value of, say, Manyuu Hikenchou. Anyways, there’s nothing interesting about Masou Gakuen HxH. A bunch of grown men pretending to be fifth graders is more bizarre than this. You can also easily find a doujinshi that is a hundred times more subversive and disturbing, so this show is nothing more than a passing novelty. For who? Beats me. People who can’t even commit to jerking off? Whatever. I can’t even pretend to have mock outrage for the whole molestation angle, because let’s face it, that’s endemic to the medium as a whole and not just a few isolated series.
Rewrite Ep. 1
You know you’re watching an adaptation of some lame visual novel when the main character utters, “The deserted city stimulates my boyish sense of adventure.” Only a visual novel character could say something so corny. Shortly afterwards, a woman shows up to the kid’s house, and tells him to find her lost daughter. Just like that. On his way through a forest, the kid encounters a random pig-like thing, so he literally stands there and comments on the creature’s appearance. Um, okay. Just because this is a visual novel adaptation, that doesn’t mean you need to include every bizarre visual novel idiosyncrasies into the anime. Unfortunately, the story is overburdened by Tennouji’s voiceovers. There isn’t a scene in which he doesn’t provide a running commentary. With a visually fluid format like anime, we should be relying on the medium’s strengths to convey the same information. But like most visual novel adaptations, Rewrite takes the lazy route. Tennouji will literally pause in the middle of an empty stairwell and talk out loud to himself. Also, the girl’s uniforms look ridiculous, which isn’t really a visual novel thing, but I’ll pin the blame on it anyways.
For now, the majority of the plot remains a mystery despite the first episode’s doubled runtime. At night, Tennouji keeps getting bitten at night by some silver-haired ghost. During the day, we are slowly introduced to the show’s Key-esque heroines. What makes them Key-esque? Oh, just the fact that they’re dumb as bricks. Meanwhile, the main character tries to be clever and sometimes even meta in his commentary, but it doesn’t really work. Think Kanon or Clannad, but without KyoAni’s direction. I don’t even like KyoAni, but they have a knack for this sort of thing. It’s not that Yuichi had better lines or anything, but his voice actor did have superior delivery. Anyways, Tennouji spends the latter half of the episode trying to enlist the help of the infamous school witch, because she might be able to help him with his bitey ghost problems. But when he sneaks into the school at night, he finds himself being chased by said ghost. In his attempt to get away, he slips into… another dimension? There, he meets two pixie-like creatures, and together, they stumble upon some large, scary beast that threatens to kill them all. Thankfully, bitey ghost makes her reappearance and whips the beast to death with her ribbons. Oh my God, I’m so bored.
The dimension falls apart, and Tennouji finds himself back at school. He finally locates the school witch, and the episode comes to an end. Ultimately, I’m pretty unimpressed. The characters aren’t interesting, and the delivery isn’t remotely compelling. Oh no, I’m being bitten by a loli ghost. Help. Save me. Knowing Key, however, there’s going to be some tear-jerky shit by the end of the series.
Scared Rider Xechs Ep. 1
Did… did I miss something? What is the context? Who are these five guys? What are they fighting against? What are their powers? Dirigents? Life after God? You mind taking a minute to explain what the hell you’re talking about? Some shows have too much exposition. I feel like this show had none. I realize I can read the show’s synopsis to fill in the missing information, but c’mon, I shouldn’t have to do that. I could forgive the complete lack of information if the opening episode had balls-to-the-walls action, but a large portion of it featured nothing more than some sourpuss strumming away at his guitar. Also, I sincerely thought the name of the show was Sacred Rider Xechs. But no, it’s Scared. Don’t even ask. And… does this show actually have two EDs? WTF? All I have left to add is that the animation is really terrible, and the art direction is completely phoned in. This is probably the lowest effort show I’ve seen thus far in this young season. The bad guys are apparently shambling mudmen. Worst of all, our heroes are supposed to be pretty boys, but then they cover themselves up in these drab outfits that even the Super Sentai would be embarrassed to wear. But even without their suits, they’re all strangely elongated in an attempt to make them look tall and dashing. Blech.
Servamp Ep. 1
I have a black cat. I would be so sad if she turned into a vampire, much less a morose one. Well, that’s exactly what happens to Mahiru. Kid comes across a sad-looking cat one day, and decides to adopt it. He names it Kuro, and all is well. Nope. All of a sudden, he’s now stuck with some asshole vampire who eats all his food and leaves a mess everywhere. And apparently, if he says the vampire’s name while the latter is in “human” form, the two of them will enter a contract. Unluckily for Mahiru, his “black cat’s” name also happens to be Kuro. Clever. But for the contract to be binding, Kuro has to drink Mahiru’s blood. Since neither of them want to be stuck to each other, this should be a simple problem to fix, right? Nah. Another vampire attacks Kuro, and threatens the lives of people around them. Since Mahiru is your generic hero with a strong sense of justice (we may as well call him Seigi…), he tries to fight the evil vampire by himself. Despite Kuro’s reluctance, he decides to help his master out… and, well, I’m sure you can imagine what happens next.
I remember when vampires used to be cool, but at best, Kuro’s a pretty-boy Pokemon, and at worst, he’s in some BDSM, master/slave dynamic with a 15-year-old kid. Ugh. I’m going to go pray that my cat stays a cat, and I don’t even believe in God.
Alright, that’s enough for tonight. I’m too tired to even go back and proofread this post. I’ll do it tomorrow during my lunch break or something. Ugh. Five new shows, and not a single one has any potential. This is going to be one long summer. I’ll be back tomorrow night with another batch of these quick write-ups. Yay…