Death March to the Parallel World Rhapsody Ep. 7: Perfectly innocent

When we last left off, Bargain Bin Kirito looks to add yet another loli to his collection. 

Naturally, she wakes up and immediately becomes infatuated with him. You can argue all you want that he isn’t a lolicon — you can argue that until you’re blue in the face — but who are you trying to fool here? “I’m not a lolicon! I just happened to write an isekai story where the self-insert character is surrounded by lolis!” Brilliant defense.

Afterwards, one of the lolis scolds him for going to a brothel instead of coming to her, but I swear that this guy isn’t a lolicon! See, it isn’t creepy if she’s the perverted one.

I also like the argument that the show is purposefully boring as shit. Yeah, so what if the story is aimless and the main character never does anything of interest! That’s the isekai experience, baby!

“B-b-but she’s really 130 years old!”

Yep, she looks 130 to me. Maybe even 140. Old ass hag.

And when I say aimless, I’m not exaggerating. For some odd reason, we waste a couple minutes watching BBK teach his lolis how to read and write.

Then we get to watch him lunch with his lolis. Again, this is all part of the isekai experience!

The food looks so good, the show cuts to these sandwiches twice!

But seriously, what are we doing this week? Is this going anywhere? I thought BBK might go and take the loli elf to some ley line to help her recover, but he’s now exploring the possibility of buying a cart.

Riveting horse wagon conversations and poorly drawn faces are all part of the isekai experience!

Camping lessons? We’re going camping now? But why?

Doesn’t matter I guess. Just gimme some of that delicious camping montage. Eat your heart out, Yuru Camp. You might have wholesome girls, but we’ve got salacious lolis! But don’t worry, ’cause BBK would never touch them. I mean, he can’t help it if aspiring artists want to draw him and these lolis in uncompromising fanart and doujins, wink wink, but he’d never do anything to them in the actual show.

Yep, just an innocent man working his wood in a forest while being surrounded by his loli slaves.

Sigh.

Sick chemistry talk, bro. Break out that phase diagram of water and teach those lolis a thing or two!

“Ackchyually…”

Oh god, the furries from last week are back. How did they even know that BBK and his lolis were camping out here? Did they sniff him out? Luckily, our hero drives them away with meat. That sure was a necessary scene. Can’t leave anything out of this adaptation, nope!

…aaaaaand the camping is over. We’re back in the city. I thought they were going camping so they could scout a place out or whatever, but nope. They just camped for the hell of it. And now we’re back to extreme cart-riding. On the bright side, 16 minutes into the episode, we finally get a whiff of a plot. The teensy, tiniest whiff. They could use the cart to take Mia back to her hometown… wherever the fuck that is. But they’ll have to talk it over later! So in the meantime, let’s go cart-riding with one of our loli slaves!

Oh no, storm clouds a’brewin’. But what does this mean? What will this lead to? We only have a couple of minutes left. Something exciting better happen soon.

But nope, BBK simply passes by another cart and an owl that looks suspicious, and before you know it, we’re back home to greet our loli elf.

Oh c’mon, you’ve already gone camping! You’ve gone cart-riding. Now we’re going to celebrate a loli simply waking up and walking about?

But once again, BBK notices someone watching him. Yep, 19 minutes into the episode, and all we’ve got going for us is a creepy owl.

Rat boy is finally awake, and he tells BBK all about how the loli elf was kidnapped and taken to a castle. She escaped, but evil dudes are still after her. But since this exposition is literally taking place at the last minute, it’s horribly rushed.

Not a lolicon! Nope! Lolis just cling to him. He can’t help that they’re scared of lightning and thunder! He can’t help that they all flock to him!

All of a sudden, they turn to find that the superb owl has followed them into the building!

Oh no, what is that! Who is th–… oh wait, episode’s over. I hope you enjoyed your shitty Yuru Camp knockoff.

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2 Replies to “Death March to the Parallel World Rhapsody Ep. 7: Perfectly innocent”

  1. Well I really do not know what to say to convince you otherwise Satou is a good boy, but deep down you can not stop seeing him like that a scary old man, on the other hand there are many things that happen in the novel and they are specified more, Summary too much the LN, it would have been very nice to see how Satou shared a camp with the girls at the campfire and it is also a pity that we will not see the appeared of Aze-san the true love of Satou :(

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