Mahou Shoujo Site Ep. 7: The crappy Avengers


Kosame explains to the girls that she can’t undo the effects of overusing their sticks. She can only heal their wounds. Well, I figured. If she could actually save them from dying early, then we wouldn’t have to bother with the rest of the plot.

— Hey, look, Nick Fury also has one working eye. Coincidence? I think not. Kosame intends to form an alliance between the girls from Aya’s site and the girls from her site It’s, like, the Avengers but for tortured mahou shoujos. I now half-expect Tsuyuno to turn to Aya in the last episode, and tell the girl that she suddenly doesn’t feel so good….

— Afterwards, Tsuyuno and Aya share a conversation in bed. It sounds like we have a beach episode coming up, ’cause that makes sense. Gee, we got middle school girls murdering each other, but what if they did it in their bathing suits?

— Normally, this would be cute, but eh….

— Oh hey, it’s the Toji no Miko girl. Huh, is she supposed to be a daughter of an important yakuza family or something?

— As for this girl, we last saw her bullying her butler. Surely, the show does not expect me to remember everyone’s names. Speaking of her butler…

— …fuck everything.

— And now, we have ourselves a transgendered mahou shoujo. Naturally, she’s also a target of bullying. Mahou Shoujo Site is just so full of warmth and love.

— God, look at that kid on the right.

— Anyways, the transgendered girl’s name is Kiyo, and even though she could take her revenge on her bullies now, she intends to wait until they’re adults with happy lives before she ruins them. Yeah, sure, but how do you know you’ll even live long enough to do any of that?

— Uh, yakuza girl only has one eye?

— Wait, maybe the animation just sucks, ’cause Nijimi now has no eyes.

— Oh hey, she’s got one eye back!

— And now the missing eye has swapped places. Man, I’m at the edge of my seat here! Which eye will disappear next!

— Oh ho ho, what a cheeky breeze. Basically, Tsuyuno manages to convince Nijimi to cooperate for now. She’ll help the girls capture a site administrator, then it’s right back to murdering Rina. Seriously, let’s see how long this lasts.

— According to Aya’s homeroom teacher, Sarina has gone missing. Oh no. Please. Someone save her.

— Meanwhile, Rina is a big, fat idiot, so she’s decided to transfer into Aya’s school. Naturally, she also has to end up with Aya’s class, because why not?

— Looks like someone’s about to snap!

— Tsuyuno immediately tackles Nijimi to the ground to prevent the dog idol from murdering Rina right then and there. At first, I was like, “Why don’t you just freeze time?” But I forgot that she and Aya had lost their sticks in that incident against Sarina. Whoops.

— Think fast, Aya! And thought fast, she did. She immediately steals Nijimi’s panties much to the boys’ delight.

— Look at the teacher on the right. He looks like one of the kids! If it weren’t for his stubble, you wouldn’t be able to tell him apart at all!

— Tsuyuno, however, refuses to be punished. She simply runs off with Nijimi’s panties. Ugh, gross. It’s likely still warm, too. Also, Nijimi was about to use it, right? So maybe it even has a bit of blood on it….

— So after hiding Nijimi’s panties somewhere safe — it’s probably not safe — the girls all meet up at the park to greet their new allies. Ah, our crappy Avengers have finally taken shape.

— Kiyo pauses when she takes a look at Tsuyuno, but then says nothing. Um, okay.

— So the new girls show off their powers, and it really feels like the author ran out of ideas. For instance, yakuza girl can harden anything she wants. This allows her to cut said thing with her katana. Uh, lame.

— The girl who sexually abuses her butler has a broomstick that can fly. Boring.

— All this dork over here can do is run fast. Like fuck, man. Technically, her stick enhances all of her physical attributes, but it’s still pathetic compared to an app that can freeze time.

— Last but not least, Kiyo has telepathy. Okay, Professor X, calm your panties.

— The girls then say Kiyo is simply a cross dresser. Huh, really? I thought she was transgendered. So which is it?

— Everyone on Team B — let’s just call them Team A & B — starts bickering, so even though Nijimi wants to murder the shit out of Rina, Team A looks a hell of a lot more stable than their newfound allies. Out of nowhere, Kosame wants to cut herself in broad daylight.

— Meanwhile, we get to catch a glimpse of what Sarina’s been up to. It turns out she’s the one who took all of Team A’s sticks (minus Nijimi’s panties, of course). Nana wants the sticks back, but the girl refuses. She still intends on getting her payback, but we already know that motivations suck, so… yeah…

— After that short diversion, however, we return our attention to Aya and company. Rina has decided to also transfer into our heroine’s home. Gosh, her parents must be so patient. It’s too bad the dad is real dick.

— And Kaname is, of course, doing his usual oniichan bullshit.

— We may not have a beach episode ready for you eager beavers yet, but we certainly have middle school girls frolicking in the bath!

— Unfortunately, the fun is short-lived, because you’re watching Mahou Shoujo Site. Kosame calls Aya up to deliver some bad news, but the viewers don’t get to hear said bad news. All we get to see is Aya falling to her knees and crying. Ugh. This storytelling sucks ass.

— I really want to relegate either this show or Dorei-ku to the “Everything Else” trash heap. Which one, though? I’ve got some serious thinking to do….

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