Kakuriyo no Yadomeshi Ep. 9: No consequences

Nobody ever gets in trouble in this world. Nobody. I bet you could kill someone and even get away with it. If I seem snarkier than usual, it’s because I’m still dealing with a cold.

— Don’t you think it’s creepy if Aoi ends up marrying the same ayakashi that had saved her back in the day? I dunno, just the idea of some guy sitting around, waiting for a girl to come of age so that he can wife her is unpleasant to me.

— Anyways, the storeroom is underground, and it starts to rain. Needless to say, Aoi is in grave danger as the whole place begins to flood. Even if she doesn’t drown, she’ll likely get hypothermia.

— I was wrong last week, though. For some reason, I thought she lost the pendant that Odanna had given her. Well, she still has it, and it begins to glow brighter than ever. Predictably enough, it leads Odanna right to the girl. But I thought he had a very important meeting to attend. Maybe he just had a hunch that the girl would get herself in trouble. She tends to do that.

— So in the end, Aoi is saved. She even gets to be held by a hot dude. Win-win-win.

— The girl eventually wakes up back at Moonflower. She should probably be more concerned about her health, but she rushes off to see Odanna because he’s about to punish some very naughty employees. It turns out that the darumas were responsible for locking the girl in the underground storeroom. They could’ve killed her, but you already know what the girl’s gonna do. She’s going to ask Odanna to spare them, which is patently ridiculous.

— We also learn that Odanna had left the meeting to Byakuya. Still, none of this would’ve happened if Aoi would’ve just left all the shopping to Ginji. She insisted, however, on picking each ingredient with her very own hand, because… why? Whatever. Also, none of this would’ve happened if she would’ve just waited a day to do the shopping. We’re told that the royal couple are coming later tonight, but if you go in the morning, there’s plenty of time to cook a beef stew by nighttime. Seriously, how long do you guys honestly think a beef stew takes to cook? She has an empty restaurant — the whole place is being reserved for the royal couple — and she only has two people to cook for. Gimme a break with the whole time crunch nonsense.

— The chief in charge of the darumas wants to take responsibility for their actions, but I just can’t shake the fact that they almost killed someone. Do crimes not matter in the hidden realm?!

— Aoi suddenly bursts into the room and tells the chief that he can’t quit. Why? Because she doesn’t want him to get in trouble for the darumas’ crime? No, her reason is far dumber than that. She doesn’t want the chief to quit until she’s tried his kaiseki. God, my head hurts.

— Odanna just breaks out laughing but OMG THIS IS SUCH A SILLY SITUATION YOU GUISE

— There aren’t any goddamn consequences in this entire stupid story. Aoi gets herself in trouble all the time and nobody ever gets mad at her. Three employees nearly killed Odanna’s bride, and he’s just going to laugh this shit off because Aoi wants to eat a full course meal. We’re living in some kind of juvenile la-la-land where nothing matters. No wonder the irresponsible Shiro had a blast here.

My head… and now the chief is laughing. I’m the only one not laughing, apparently.

— The girl gets woozy in the middle of the meeting, because she’s still feeling the after effects of nearly drowning. I like how she faces one direction, then spins completely around just so that she can fall into a bishie’s arms.

— Then Odanna whips out a dorayaki as if he’s been carrying one on him all day long.

— Aoi starts to panic, because she only has four hours left before the royal couple arrives. Oh no, that’s not enough time to make a stew! Again, I don’t think a stew takes that long to make unless you work at the pace of a snail, but whatever. The girl must literally think that she needs to have it simmering all day to break down the tough tissues, but I’ve made stews that turned out fine in two to three hours.

— Another option is to reschedule, but the girl absolutely refuses.

— The anime teases us some more about the potential identity of Aoi’s benefactor, but I’m over it.

— So we get a cooking montage, but none of it is animated. Gonzo is rather lazy these days. Considering how this and that Tiramisu anime is the only thing they’re working on right now, I really don’t get the lack of effort. Also, it’s funny that she’s making rice, because she almost forgot to serve it to the royal couple.

— For someone who owns a restaurant, she holds her knife like a beginner.

— Welp, here comes the royal couple. Wait, I thought the wife was born in the Showa period. She looks mighty young for someone from that time period. Maybe people just age slower in the hidden realm.

— Dude, it’s literally not a hole-in-the-wall. The definition of the term “hole-in-the-wall” is in its own words. Hole. In. The. Wall.

First course looks like a side dish. Nevertheless, the royal wife is impressed that Aoi can make mayonnaise by hand. Aye yai yai… you just have to whisk oil and egg yolks together.

Second course also looks like a side dish. At the very least, it should be served with rice. You always eat this stuff with rice.

Third course is finally the stewed pork belly. You definitely eat this with rice. Otherwise, the pork fat is just too rich. It even comes with eggs, so hoo boy… get ready for a cholesterol bomb.

— At one point, the royal wife is overcome with nostalgia, so she begins to shed a few tears. Aoi thinks, however, that maybe they don’t like the pork belly. As a result, she hilariously reaches out for the plate of food before even asking her diner if the dish is satisfactory or not.

— Finally, the woman asks for some rice.

— Then of course, the customary soup.

— Last but not least, the girl continues to pimp out her fancy pink bowl when she serves the dessert… it, uh, doesn’t look very appetizing. In any case, the whole meal was very simple. Aoi made such a big deal about it, but she served four very homey courses. Judging by the looks of the dishes and the techniques required to make them, she could’ve done the majority of the prep work way ahead of time. Aoi only has herself to blame for being in such a time crunch.

— The girl ends up fainting again, but hey, at least the royal couple is happy. I hope she got a good tip. As she sleeps, Odanna watches over her. He and Ginji also discuss Aoi’s kidnapping. They’re pretty confident that an unknown party had assisted the darumas, because those guys don’t have any magical powers.

— Maybe it’s even this dude… whoever it is.

— But for now, all’s well that ends well. The girl wakes up to Ginji back in his fox form for some reason, and as she prepares to come up with new dishes for her restaurant, she can’t help but think back to the blonde girl that had lured her away in the first place. Hm.

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