Harem Something or Other Pt. 9: I can’t believe my demon lord is this illegal

Ever since Darling in the FranXX stopped airing, “Harem Something or Other” has been the most popular series of posts on this blog. I’m not sure if I should be happy about that. 

How Not to Summon a Demon Lord Ep. 10

Plot Content:

— I also know an Alicia, and she’s about the most useless thing on this planet. Let’s see if this Alicia will prove to be the same. Who knows — maybe the name’s just cursed.

— Looking pretty cross-eyed there, buddy.

— Pour magic power into the demon lord to revive her. Sweet, got it. Let’s get this over with already.

— You’d think a demon lord’s soul lodged in some catgirl’s vagina would look a little cooler than a purple ball of yarn.

— Alicia is super pumped that the harbinger of death is being resurrected. That girl is messed up.

— At first, Krebs-whatever looks fearsome. But upon closer inspection…

— …it’s just another dumb loli. Are you telling me Diablo fisted a catgirl for this?

— Krebs-whatever wants to murder Diablo, but she’s forgotten how to do so. She wants to murder people, but she can’t remember why she would want to. As a result, she’ll just be another haremette instead. God, lolis are useless.

— Shera proceeds to tame the loli demon lord with dry-ass biscuits. Oh boy.

— Out of nowhere, this ugly thing shows up to greet Krebs-whatever. It then volunteers to murder every person around her, but she instantly turns him down. Remember, this demon lord only wants to eat biscuits, not humans. Look, if this demon lord isn’t cutting it, just replace her. Elect another demon lord. Make demon-lording great again.

— This new dude — his name is Eulerex — isn’t happy that Krebs-whatever isn’t bloodthirsty, so his solution is to just kill her. He’s hoping that maybe the next reincarnation of the demon lord won’t be such a useless loli. Y’know, maybe he’s onto something. Unfortunately, Edelgard is dead set on serving this broken demon lord no matter what. It’s kinda like when your party elects an idiot, but you’re in way too deep, so you just double-down on the idiot in order to save face.

Since Edelgard is no match for Eulerex, it’s time for Diablo to flex his muscles once more for his haremettes. Look, nobody punches a hole in my girls’ stomachs but me!

— So uh… what’s the difference between a demon and a fallen? If you actually know, don’t feel compelled to answer that question. Honestly, I don’t really care.

— After a very short duel, Diablo wins again. Of course he does.

— Even so, Eulerex tries to surprise attack Krebs-whatever, thereby forcing Rem to protect someone who is more or less her daughter. Diablo then lands another attack on the weird bird dude. Eulerex is thus forced to respect Diablo’s strength. And with that, he flies off. I guess it’s okay to just let him live?

— Basically, the loli demon lord has a clean slate, so you can raise her to be a better person. For instance, Shera teaches Krebs-whatever to be grateful that Rem saved her life.

— Meanwhile, Alicia continues to be annoyed that no one wants to murder anyone.

— Since they can’t keep referring to the new loli by her fearsome name  when they enter the city (I guess it’s the equivalent of Voldemort in this dumb universe), they decide to rename her Klem, i.e. generic anime loli name.

— While Diablo is having fun in his room, Alicia continues to obsess over the fact that all mortals must die in her room. Girl needs to lighten up.

— Meanwhile, Saddler has recovered from his self-inflicted petrification, and now he’s determined to get his revenge. I guess he’ll be Diablo’s last opponent for this adaptation. And the sad thing is that they’ll probably give this show a sequel.

Harem Content:

— Rem truly is flat-chested.

— Apparently, Diablo’s magic can’t get to Krebs-whatever if he simply touches Rem’s stomach. So the alternative is naturally her vagina.

— Why is the pinky extended though…? I thought we were only going for one hole.

— Look, this is a matter of life or death, so just finger the catgirl already. We haven’t got all night.

— Quick, we need to see this from the vagina’s perspective.

— The madlad actually did it! Dude’s never even kissed a girl, but he just jumps right ahead to fingering a girl.

— Yeah, “magic power.”

— After extracting the demon lord from Rem, Diablo carries her all the way back to the city. Uh, I sure hope he washed that hand first.

— Diablo had to use up a lot of magic energy tonight, but have no fear ’cause Shera is here!

— I’ve been playing Dragon Quest XI, and I think this is close that stupid puff puff thing that you find in every city.

— It gets to a certain point where it’s not even hot anymore. It’s just weird. If you’re going to pull this dumb shit, why is the guy full clothed? If this is escapism for the audience, don’t you want to imagine yourself being naked with these two girls?

— Y’see, this is what actually happens when your party stays overnight at an inn in JRPGs. I mean, what did you really think the Final Fantasy XV boys were up to?

The Master of Ragnarok & Blesser of Einherjar Ep. 10

Plot Content:

— The girl that looks a lot like Mitsuki is really some divine emperor, but around Yuuto and gang, she refers to herself as Princess Leafa.

— Why is she here? She wants to see the world, learn a thing or two about the “Black One,” so on and so forth. She even wants to visit his workshop, but despite her charms, Yuuto eventually shoots her down.

— Anyways, Leafa is a powerful mage. She can’t quite send Yuuto back to his world, but she knows someone who might be able to. Remember when Sigyn cast her spell and our hero started to feel not so good? Well, Loptr’s woman basically has the ability to undo an individual from any bonds. The only problem here, of course, is that Sigyn is the enemy.

— In the second half of the episode, Steinthor and the Lightning Clan attacks again. Using his big bag of ancient military strategies, Yuuto appears to win again. Unfortunately, what our hero doesn’t realize is that the Lightning Clan and the Panther Clan have teamed up. So just when it looks like the Wolf Clan is about to win yet another battle, Christina reports that Loptr is leading a mounted army that numbers 10,000 strong.

— Meanwhile, Scarfior might have died in a really comical fashion during a 2v1 battle against Steinthor.

Harem Content:

— During a New Years’ celebration party, the girls all beg for Yuuto’s seed. Felicity starts stripping (well, she does have a stripper name), so everyone else follows suit. When in Rome…

— Right before his battle against the Lightning Clan, Leafa gives Yuuto a mouth-to-mouth good luck kiss.

Yuuna and the Haunted Hot Springs Ep. 9

— In this week’s episode, Chisaki finally finds the time to pay the haunted hot springs a visit. She basically just wants to know if Kogarashi truly is shacking up with a hot and naked ghost babe. But what’s the point? It’s not as if she can see Yuuna anyways.

— Unfortunately, the first thing the girl sees is a half-naked Oboro doing her best to liberate Kogarashi of his precious man seed. Man, we’re all about seeds this week!

— Even though Chisaki is visiting, Kogarashi won’t be around… or so he claims. But c’mon, what kind of harem anime would this be if the harem lead isn’t going to be here to reap the benefits?

— Koyuzu gets right down to business.

— Meanwhile, Sagiri is in awe of Chisaki. Apparently, the girl has our ninja beat in everything but being, well, a ninja.

— Later, the girls all take a bath together, but this place is foggier than Silent Hill. Like with a lot of ecchi shows, you’re going to have to buy the blu-rays if you want to see anything. But I mean, if you’re fiending for fap material that badly, you could do a whole lot better than this anime without spending so much money.

— It doesn’t take long before the girls start talking about Kogarashi. I mean, what else would a room full of girls talk about, silly!

— Basically, Oboro wants advice on how to seduce the guy, but Chisaki objects because… y’know, she likes him even if she won’t admit it. Oboro also claims that she has no intention of marrying Kogarashi; she just wants his seed. We’ll see how long she can keep up this charade, though. Look, every hot girl is destined to fall in love with him eventually. It’s just a matter of when.

— Later that night, Chisaki gropes Yuuna again, ’cause that’s what girls do at sleepovers, right?

— Meanwhile, Koyuzu transforms into an adult version of herself. So, uh, is this still illegal?

— The girls then test the tanuki’s transformation powers? First Yuuna, then Chisaki. Finally, both of them together. I dunno, the anime already used this gimmick when Genshiro forced Yuuna to cosplay. The show’s just being repetitive now.

— This is definitely illegal.

— In the middle of the night, Chisaki thinks she’s suffering from night terrors, but it’s really just a ghost lying on top of her. Wait, that is night terrors…

— Then of course, Kogarashi returns in the middle of the night despite previously claiming that he had to work overnight. Look, this wouldn’t be a harem anime if he wasn’t here.

— Chisaki starts thinking that Kogarashi is not such a bad dude, which only serves to make her panic even more. Y’know, doki doki and all that. As a result, she tries to escape from the room, but Yuuna’s not about to let that happen.

— Then in his sleep, Kogarashi somehow manages to loosen Chisaki’s robe and render her topless. Yeah, in his “sleep.” That’ll fly in court.

— Not to be outdone by both Dragon Quest XI and How Not to Summon a Demon Lord, Chisaki also tries her hand at puff puff. God only knows how a person can sleep through this.

— When the girl then tries to crawl away in the opposite direction, Kogarashi proceeds to sleep-strip Chisaki even further. Can’t blame him ’cause he’s asleep!

— Koyuzu then wakes up, but she thinks she’s dreaming. As a result, she starts… sucking on Chisaki’s breasts? Dude, this poor girl is just being molested back and forth by every person in this room for the sake of comedy.

— Chisaki then falls backwards and right onto Kogarashi’s face. Only now does he wake up and see the full moon right in front of him. This all could have been prevented if she had just had the courage to leave the room as soon as he came in.

— The girl then thinks that the harem lead would lose all reason and attack them in their sleep, ’cause y’know, men are just mindless sex-starved perverts. But instead, he takes a blanket and covers both Chisaki and Yuuna. I mean, he could’ve gone an extra step further and find somewhere else to sleep for the night, but I guess the bare minimum will do.

— The guy can’t even get back to sleep before Oboro brazenly walks into the room and tries once more to seduce him. Chisaki is still awake, so she starts thinking more dumb stereotypes about men.

— But Kogarashi is your prototypical pure pure anime boi, so he shoots Oboro down once again. I guess casual sex and one night stands are out of the question. Look, everyone’s allowed to have their own value systems and standards, but…

The article also cites a survey from the Japan Family Planning Association, which found that 45 percent of women and more than a quarter of men between the ages of 16 to 24 “were not interested in or despised sexual contact.”

…don’t you guys think you might be putting sex on a pedestal? I won’t argue that sex is likely more meaningful when two (or more if you’re into that sort of thing) individuals are in love. And of course, if you’re in a monogamous relationship, you probably should honor your partner’s wishes and not engage others in casual, NSA sexual relations. But between two adults with no prior commitments, sex doesn’t have to be so complicated. It doesn’t need to come with any pre-requisites other than consent. It’s just a lil’ bit of fun.

— Anyways, Kogarashi’s answer makes Chisaki fall in love with him even more. Meanwhile, Oboro reluctantly leaves the room, but she still intends to claim his seed for her own one day. She just needs to make him for in love with her now.

— The next day, everyone gathers in front of the inn to see Chisaki off. And even though Kogarashi proved otherwise, she still warns Yuuna not to do anything that might get him “in the mood.” Pfft.

Your moment of zen:

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