Sword Art Online – Alicization Ep. 12: One hot, steaming exposition dump on our faces

After spending quite some time on both Goblin Slayer and SSSS.GRIDMAN, I don’t want to dwell too much on SAO. I just wanna get back to Bloodborne. Look, SAO just is not as interesting comparatively, and the other two shows aren’t even good. Hell, SAO rarely even feels like an MMO these days. And with that, let’s start the show.

— Hopefully, Kirito and Eugeo facing off against Eldrie means there won’t be much to talk about, so I can get this post over with quickly.

—  Not only does their opponent fight with a whip, the whip can elongate in the middle of battle. Luckily, nothing is as strong as those chains attached to them. Nothing.

Kirito looking cool as always. No wonder this show has so many fans.

Uh, are you gonna tweet him to death?

— When they do the whole system call, generate element, form element to so-and-so shape, it’s basically no different from casting a spell. Nevertheless, some of the magic (no pun intended) is lost, so these battles come off as dry and boring to me.

Whip it good.

— So it’s 2v1, but Kirito and Eugeo still get their butts kicked. That’s when Eugeo remembers that this guy used to be the top swordsman of a place I don’t give a damn about (it’s not even real). They just grab people with great potential, erase their identities, and brainwash them into becoming Integrity Knights. For what purpose? Shrug. We’ll find out later, I’m sure.

— It’s just funny to me that it’s this easy to freak them out. Just go up to these Integrity Knights and tell them all about their previous lives. Eldrie is completely losing it, and as a result, some weird triangular prism starts coming out of his forehead. It’s funny ’cause all the bad guys had to do was make these dudes wear masks in order to conceal their identities. If Eugeo had never recognized Eldrie, then this never would’ve happened.

— Eugeo and Kirito continue to try and revive Eldrie’s memories, but out of nowhere, an arrow strikes Kirito in the foot. Our heroes look up to see… well, wouldja look at that? A guy clad in heavy armor from head to toe, so we have no clue who he is!

— So it’s time to run away, and for some reason, a lock of Kirito’s hair is giving him directions. A lock of his hair. Yeah, you heard me.

A magical doorway then allows both boys to escape. They are greeted by some short girl who quickly informs us that although they are currently inside the cathedral, because the entrance has been deleted, no one else can enter without her permission. Alright then.

— She then takes them to a giant library that apparently has all sorts of information about the Underworld. Why do I get the feeling that the show is about to take a hot, steaming exposition dump on us?

— Oh lord, here it comes…

— Yep.

— zzz

— Hahahahahahahaha… oh, she’s serious. Anyways, I’m not gonna provide too much commentary on this stupid origin story. I mean, c’mon, it’s as basic as you can get. Evil is hereditary, religion is nothing more than a tool to oppress the masses, Rath as a whole has no goddamn clue what’s happening right beneath its very nose, blah blah blah. Some people are going to be like, “Why blog something that bores you?” It’s funny, ’cause they never ask themselves why they read a blog that they obviously disagree with. Anyways…

Yawn. Is it over yet? Oh, it is? Cool. Great. See you guys whenever the next episode airs.

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