Plunderer Ep. 2: I’m too cool for you, babe

Ad: hero with a dark past seeks more girls to perv on before settling down with “the one.”

— The episode starts off by giving us a short glimpse of the Waste War. Yo, there were giant turtles shooting lasers out of their mouths.

— We then learn about legendary heroes who did legendarily heroic things like carve the number of slain enemies into their bodies. Very, very heroic.

— I also had to laugh at the juxtaposition of the notion that peace has arrived against this massive field of graves. Can’t have conflicts if all my enemies are dead.

— Back in the present, Licht proceeds to show off by moving too fast for his opponent to keep up. He could probably beat the guy in two seconds, but there are twenty-four minutes to this episode.

— In fact, every single step our hero takes unleashes a torrent of violent wind (no fart jokes).

— On the other hand, the bad guy is the sort of idiot who thinks he can still claim victory even though he has been thoroughly humiliated up to this point. Some people just have to learn the hard way.

— As for the animation quality, this ain’t My Hero Academia. If Deku and friends are S-tier, then Plunderer is like… B-tier. Maybe even C-tier.

— In the end, the bad guy says “Uncle,” so not only does Hina get her old points back, she gets the bad guy’s points as well. Her number is now 760. Before this whole mess went down, her number had represented the distance she walked in order to find her so-called ace. But what does her number mean now? It’s a sum of that distance and whatever the hell the bad guy’s number is supposed to count, right? So when you meet new people and see their numbers, you have absolutely no confidence in what their numbers actually represent. It could be anything. You could lose your original number to schmoe B, then beat schmoe C and take their number. It’s an anime Whose Line Is It Anyway? The rules are made up and the numbers don’t matter!

— Now, there’s a small chance that a fan might pop in and go, “Ackchyually…” But does Plunderer have fans? More importantly, who the hell reads this blog anyways?

— In the aftermath, Licht ignores Hina’s tears of joy and swipes the oh-so-important Ballot out of her hands. See, he’s trying to be the bad guy. Trying, because this is so obviously the case. If the bad guy wanted Hina’s Ballot so badly, it stands to reason that everyone else would too. Our heroine may as well have slapped a giant “kick me” poster to her back.

— Nevertheless, the girl slumps away in tears, convinced that she has been played by two different men today. She eventually bumps into Nana, who tells Hina to take a closer look at the ugly stuffed animal that Licht had left behind.

— All of a sudden, it disappears in a confetti of flowers, leaving behind just Hina’s Ballot. Nana then explains what we had already guessed: Licht pretended to steal the Ballot so that no one would go after Hina. But now that we’ve pulled the oh-so-precious artifact out in the open — the sun’s not even down! — so fucking much for that!

— So we get the obligatory painful farewell scene in which Hina tries to chase Licht down before he exits stage left. She tells him our her time with him and Nana made her sooooo happy. Dude, you’ve known them for like what? Half a day? So of course, the badass loner hero rides off into the sunset because he knows deep down that I’m just no good for you, babe. Pretty standard male fantasy.

— We get to see how young Hina traveled across the world all by her lonesome. I’m not sure how a kid managed that. And considering how naive she is, I’m not sure how she managed that without learning any street smarts.

— Most of all, I just wish I understood what Hina truly wants. Yes, her mother told her to find this legendary ace… but then what? What would she even do if she got her hands on one?

— Again, Hina cries. This time, however, one of the bad guy’s soldiers walks up to the poor girl and confirms that she still has her Ballot. Whoops! But he apparently isn’t after this super valuable ball that can make you a buncha money. Rather, his goal all along was to confirm Licht’s whereabouts. The dude proceeds to pull out a headset and make his report to his superior. A headset, yo. A piece of modern technology.

— At this point, I have to imagine that the world used to be Earth or at least something very close to it. And typical human wars (or the folly of arrogant science) had to go and destroy everything that we know and love, thereby reverting us back to this pseudo fantasy-esque setting that we currently have. It would be hilarious if the abyss that they refer to is actually just… well, Earth. Arrrgh, it was there all along! But c’mon, the show can’t be that creatively bankrupt, right?

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