I actually enjoyed this week’s episode of Hatena Illusion, but it wasn’t for the right reasons. Like always, Makoto keeps pissing Hatena off. How dare he look at her… uh… wet, non-see-through dress? Then later, as the girls are getting ready to bathe, Makoto accidentally sees Hatena in nothing but a towel. You wanna know how you can tell that this story was written by a man?

L-O-fucking-L.

Let’s move on. The relationship between Hatena and Makoto can’t get any worse, right? Well, she finally tells him why she’s been having such a big problem with him: she thought that he was really a she. Of course, this is nothing we don’t already know, but it’s news to Makoto! Hearing this, our hero offers up what I thought to be a pretty sensible solution: he’ll move out and only drop by when it’s magic learning time!

But wait, Hatena doesn’t want that either! Um, I thought she hasn’t wanted him here since the first episode…

…she even admits this.

My head fucking hurts. This isn’t how you do tsundere. Tsundere isn’t complicated: you’re tsuntsun sometimes, and then you’re deredere other times. Hatena is not tsundere. She is tsundumbass. And sure, Makoto made a promise, but I like to think childhood promises are null and void when your friend starts acting like a jackass.

The rest of the episode’s plot isn’t really worth talking about, so I’ll just quickly sum it up. After all, I doubt you guys are watching this shit, so it falls upon me to do the dirty work. Hatena notices that her mother’s crest is missing. I dunno, it’s valuable, ‘kay? Everyone quickly realizes that Mariah, the buxomy blonde, is also missing. Welp, I guess she took it. So our master thief hurries to try and steal it back. She quickly learns that Mariah is none other than her own auntie! Dun dun dun! To make a long story short, damsel quickly becomes in distress. Boring ass hero shows up and fulfills his promise by saving the girl.

The end.

So what did I even enjoy about this episode? The hilarious animation:

I especially love the heavy reliance on “wide-angle shots.” Ain’t gotta be detailed if everything’s all zoomed out! You can tell that the animators just plain gave up. I would too if I had to work on this shit.

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Housekishou Richard-shi no Nazo Kantei Ep. 3

Another pretty unremarkable episode. The client of the week is a schoolboy, and the gemstone of the week is a rare yellow cat’s eye. What’s the sob story of the week? The kid thought his father had taken away their precious stray cat for good, but it turns out the old man was just trying to protect his pregnant wife from toxoplasmosis. The parasite is generally harmless to most people, but pregnant women and infants have weakened immune systems. In any case, the father-son pairing eventually make up, and the cat will probably get to return home once the baby is older and healthy. I guess that’s a heart-warming ending?

Near the end of the episode, Richard tells Seigi all about how gemstones can be used as asset management. If anything should happen to the father, the son will be able to sell his incredibly rare cat’s eye for quick cash. I dunno, man… I feel like giving a young kid something that small and valuable is a bit reckless. It’s pretty easy to lose something like that. Plus, there’s gotta be better ways to leave your money behind should the worst come to pass. Then again, I’m not rich enough to hand out rare gemstones, so maybe I just don’t understand.

On the side, Seigi and Shoko continue to advance their “relationship” at a snail’s pace. This week, she invites him to accompany her to a mineral show. Our hero of justice might not want to get ahead of himself, though. After all, he tends to get himself into trouble by jumping to conclusions. Maybe Shoko’s just excited that she’s found a friend. It’s not often that you bump into a fellow gemstone lover. I certainly don’t give a damn about gemstones, and I don’t know anyone in my life who does. Hell, I thought we millennials were busy trying to kill off this industry. Or is that just diamonds? Nah, I’m pretty sure we’re killing everything with our broke ass.