Slowly whittling down this giant mess of shows.

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My Status as an Assassin Obviously Exceeds the Hero’s Ep. 4

Probably the dumbest episode that I’ve watched all season, which is saying something because I’m also watching a show where a guy gets girls to climax by just rubbing oil on their fingers. Kilika framed Amelia because she thinks her sister took everything from her. Uh oh, tragic backstory time! So as a child, she was tricked into summoning powerful monsters, which got Liam, her childhood friend slash love interest, killed. The guilt was so great that her father had to — just had to!!! — erase her memories… even though her sister resurrected Liam anyway. Huh? You don’t think she would’ve been relieved to see him? You think she would’ve stayed mind-broken anyway? Did you even try talking to her? Fine, you don’t have therapists. It’s anime, it’s fantasy, we’ll just pretend nobody talks to anybody about their problems.

Let’s assume the king was right. Everyone then had the brilliant fucking idea to turn their backs to the girl and isolate her. Why? Just in case she got her memories back even though Liam was right there. HE WAS RIGHT THERE. HE’S STILL THERE NEXT TO HER. JUST TELL HER THE TRUTH. So of course, Kilika started to slowly resent her sister, which nobody noticed because why would they? I mean, they were already messing with her mind, so just do it right, i.e. good ol’ gaslighting: “Honey, you thought you got your friend killed? What do you mean? He’s right there! You’re just having a nightmare!” But of course, everyone around Kilika tried nothing except the worst ideas possible. Finally, Kilika snapped and resorted to using her Mesmerize ability on everyone in order to get them to turn on Amelia. Basically, she mind-controlled them. Except Liam. He was never mind-controlled. He just played along with exiling Amelia because he thought this could help. Yeah, sure, double down on her delusions! Fucking hell, man. This whole situation is so ludicrous.

To make a long story short, she loses a duel to Akira, Amelia does some stuff to dispel the mind-controlling, and the king is finally guilted into restoring Kilika’s memories. All of a sudden, it’s okay to give her memories back? And you didn’t think to do this before because…? Whatever, man. Time to clean up this mess, which means someone’s gotta pay, right? No matter what you believed your sister may or may not have done to you, you can’t just go and frame her. You can’t just exile her. You can’t just try and kill her. You can’t just mind control the entire fucking army. Like yeah, there were reasons why she was resentful, but that doesn’t excuse her actions nor the king’s myopic attempts to help his daughter. Someone needs to take responsibility for this mess. If I’m one of the rank and file, I’d be pissed as hell that someone basically mind-fucked me.

But at the end of the episode, we throw a big ol’ party, because we all love Kilika! Let bygones be bygones! What a stupid, moronic story. What a stupid, moronic attempt to try and create a tragic misunderstanding that ended up having no consequences whatsoever. Liam’s not dead so why did you erase her memories in the first place, the king doesn’t get punished for being a stupid piece of shit dad, Kilika doesn’t get punished for literally mind controlling people and framing her sister, and last but not least, “haha I love my little sister so you should too” headass Akira gets to feel like he was right all along about how siblings should always make up. Yeah, so what if she had the entire army bearing down on you? It’s family!

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Campfire Cooking in Another World with My Absurd Skill S2 Ep. 4

It’s already boring when isekai protagonists are overpowered. It’s extra annoying when they still act scared. It’s like when your rich ass friend tries to relate to you by yapping about their bills. Uh-huh, sure, you have it so tough. This is how I feel when I see Mukoda trembling in his boots throughout his first dungeon experience. You’ve got a freaking Fenrir on your side! Your slime and dragon familiars are no slouch either. Bro, be real.

Anyway, the food this week comprise of a stew followed by an assorted meat plate. There are veggies in the stew, but I could go for more.

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Yano-kun’s Ordinary Days Ep. 5

With Hashiba around, Yano is starting to feel a little inadequate. We already know Kiyoko likes him, but like I said last week, she’s become complacent. She’s content to just fawn over him like a child or, even worse, a younger bro. So for him to slowly confront his feelings and slowly come to the realization that he might have feelings for her is at least some progress. After all, just watching him idiotically hurt himself on a weekly basis is honestly pretty frustrating. How the hell do you hurt yourself eating an apple pie? Kiyoko isn’t much better. I’ve never seen anyone over the age of five get sauce stuck on their face like this. To make it worse, she can’t even wipe it off herself. Hashiba has to reach across the table and wipe her face for her, which adds even more fuel to the fire. I’m sorry, but I don’t buy it. You can feel when something is on your skin unless, again, you’re a lil’ baby who’s learning how to eat.

It’s also disappointing how Kiyoko supposedly put in an amazing karaoke performance, but we don’t even get to hear any of it.

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Kakuriyo -Bed & Breakfast for Spirits- Season 2 Ep. 4

When I saw the episode title — “I’m Opening a Food Truck” — I did not expect Aoi to literally stick a van on a boat and start slinging hamburgers out of it. Is that even safe? Well, either way, I haven’t had a hamburger in a while, so maybe I’ll go get some tomorrow. There’s not much I can say about the food, ’cause it’s just hamburgers. Hard to fuck that up. I would quibble over her choice of beverage though. If I’m eating something hot, rich and juicy like what a proper burger should be, I’d want something cold and refreshing to wash it down. An equally hot soda sounds rather unappealing.

Anyway, it’s funny to me that I have three shows on this list where I’m more interested in the food than the plot. To be fair, the food is all there is in Campfire Cooking in Another World with My Absurd Skill. There’s not much else to the show. No overarching plot to speculate about, no interesting character relationships to plumb. Pass the Monster Meat, Milady! at least has a bit of romance going for it. Last but not least, Kakuriyo -Bed & Breakfast for Spirits- certainly has the most plot, but it doesn’t actually interest me all that much. It doesn’t help that the storytelling is very clumsy this week, especially in the second half of the episode. Here’s some exposition on why Odanna has been imprisoned. Here’s some exposition on why there’s a power struggle between the nobles and the Hachiyo. Here’s some exposition on why some kid won’t eat his food. Meh, just get him a Happy Meal.

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Hero Without a Class: Who Even Needs Skills?! Ep. 5

The Sword God Cup has arrived, but we don’t get to see Lilia in action. She just loses offscreen; she’s that much of a butt monkey. But don’t get your hopes up, because we don’t even get to see Reiner fight either. She was supposed to, but Georg, the evil rival guild leader, went and got himself possessed by a demon lord in a sword. Everyone starts freaking out, because oh no, it’s the gosh darn demon lord! So naturally, the tournament is canceled. Sorry Reiner, you have a vagina, so you’re not allowed to do anything cool onscreen. Easiest paycheck Saori Hayami has ever collected.

Instead, we get to watch Arel win yet another fight without breaking a sweat. Look at the screenshot above. Bro doesn’t even look like he wants to be here. Again, a veteran voice actor collects an easy check. But like I said last week, what could possibly be next? We just beat the freaking demon lord. What’s above that? Is he going to fight God next? Is he going to ascend to the heavens and battle Sephiroth?

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Pass the Monster Meat, Milady! Ep. 4

After Melphie and the Duke reassure each other that they’re a perfect fit, the engagement is official. But in perfect anime fashion, they make the relationship feel so… transactional. Aristide has the responsibility of culling the monsters in his lands, and Melphie’s life mission is to turn wasted animal products into delicious food that anyone can eat. So yes, on the surface, they make the perfect team… for a business. But it’s more than that. They both desire someone who can accept them for who they are, warts and all. And Melphie is clearly attracted to him. But they can’t admit any of that to each other, which is just one of those things that is annoying about anime romances. Stop being coy all the time.

Anyway, as our girl prepares to leave, her stepmother has to snipe at her one last time. “You can’t come back here, you hear me?! And my boy will be the heir! My precious boy! Also, your mother sucked and you suck just like her!” Jesus, I know evil stepmothers are a thing in fiction, but do we have to do it each and every single time? Can’t I have a single story where the stepmother is actually a normal person? I just don’t get how a dude like Melphie’s father can go from the saintliest saint to ever saint in Melphie’s mother — the dear woman’s life work was trying to solve her people’s starvation! — to this nasty piece of work in Celia. How? Is he blind to his second wife’s behavior? Or is the sex that good? Seriously, how come Melphie has never taken her father aside and forced him to explain himself?

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My Gift Lvl 9999 Unlimited Gacha Ep. 4

Surprise, surprise, Light’s parents are dead. It took him 2.5 years just to finally pay them a visit, but he only spends a minuscule fraction of that same time grieving their loss. Hell, we devote just as much time watching one of his sycophants kiss his foot. It’s so dumb. Anyway, Light goes by “Dark” on the surface in order to hide his identity. He and two companions proceed to hit up another dungeon. Yawn.

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Shabake Ep. 4

Nah, I’m done. The show simply has too much fluff I don’t care about. For instance, this week’s episode is all about Nikichi and Sasuke, how they saved Ichitarou when they started out as his bodyguards, and how this led to them becoming friends. Yeah, I don’t care. I literally cannot give a shit about the hakutaku and inugami. The murder mystery itself gets less than a minute of screentime in this week’s episode, so I’m out. Shabake is far from being the worst show airing this season, but it’s not even fun to complain about. It’s simply not interesting enough to keep me watching. Most of all, I’ll never have to see that ugly hairstyle ever again.

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A Wild Last Boss Appeared! Ep. 5

This week’s episode is all about “golems,” but they’re not exactly what you expect them to be. For instance, the group is on their merry way to Lufas’s tomb, but it is really far away. As a result, our isekai hero constructs a “golem” to help facilitate their little roadtrip: an RV. Look, I don’t mind it when a fantasy JRPG slowly reveals that there used to be ancient civilization with advanced technology. That’s fine. That’s just world-building even if it is an overused trope. But this isn’t that. This is lazily grabbing a modern day vehicle and plopping it right into the middle of your fantasy world without any thought or care. It’s not amusing or neat. It’s stupid. I’m not even gonna talk about the hot springs scene.

In the second half of the episode, the gang finally reaches Lufas’s tomb, which has turned into a tourist trap. Adventurers from all around the world are trying to recover the weapon cache at the very top of the tomb. Unfortunately, the place itself is practically a dungeon, and its hallways are patrolled by “golems” hellbent on eliminating all intruders on sight. And again, by “golems,” I really mean something else: robots. In fact, there’s a robot maid on the highest floor. That’s right, yet another anime this season with adventurers and maids. We also have yet another anime this season where a trio needs to step in and prevent another group of adventurers from biting the dust in a dungeon. When you watch anime for long enough, everything starts to blend together into one shitty, unrecognizable slop. They all look the same, they all taste the same.

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My Friend’s Little Sister Has It In for Me! Ep. 4

We finally learn how the MC got to know his best bud and his best bud’s little sister. Basically, the MC was just as meddlesome back then as he is now. Seriously, who goes so far as to snoop on their best bud’s little sister just because she might hang out with a group of “delinquents.” Who insists on continually meddling even when said little sister tells you to knock it off? Well, we saw how he was with his cousin last week, so at least he’s consistent about being nosy and bothersome. By the way, they portray the best bud as someone who’s a bit kooky — someone who might be somewhat neurodivergent. That’s fine and all, but did they only do this because he’s the programmer of the group? C’mon, man.

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The Banished Court Magician Aims to Become the Strongest Ep. 4

Like with all “kicked from the party” shows, the hero’s original party starts to struggle without him. And again, like always, they can’t accept that it’s their fault. The prince insists that he’s been cursed even though he has explicitly been told that his condition is perfectly normal. Hell, even his father, another jackass classist, is starting to sing a different tune, but this simply makes the prince hate Alec even more. Very predictable writing. I don’t know how these writers get paid to copy each other endlessly. It’s like an Ouroboros of light novel slop.

As for Alec and what he’s up to, his buddies are trying to put him in a position to reclaim his lost confidence. Specifically, Ornest wants to know why Alec has been holding back. The latter finally opens up about how he feels as though he had let his mentor down. He wanted to reform Galdana, but he failed. His buddy then has to uplift him with encouraging words, which then leads to Alec getting all teary-eyed. Groan.

I’m sorry, but I’m not quite connecting the dots. You failed to accomplish a major life goal, so you’re not going to use your best spells in a critical situation with your dear friends? What kind of logic is that? I mean, am I wrong? How does any of this make sense? If, for example, he used his best spell, but he fucked up and ended up hurting someone, then sure, I can see how that might make him “gun shy.” I can see how an incident like that would make him want to hold back lest he hurt his party members. But holding back because you couldn’t convince a bunch of classists to respect you? C’mon, man, you’re trying too hard to turn this into some sort of deep emotional struggle that the MC has to overcome with the power of friendship. It just comes off silly and ridiculous.

Plus, I’ve seen so many shows lately where the hero lacks confidence in his own abilities. We saw one last season in Scooped Up by an S-Rank Adventurer. There’s also The Unaware Atelier Meister, but at least that show leaned into the comedy instead of trying to get you to pity the MC. I’m just sick of this archetype, because it’s a cheap attempt to garner pity from the audience.

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Hands off: Sawaranaide Kotesashi-kun Ep. 4

Famous last words. So uh, according to one of the other dormmates, the nerdy-looking girl that you see above is supposedly a swimmer with enough talent to perhaps even win an Olympic medal. Yeah, I really doubt that. Just look at all the recent gold medalists. She looks nothing like them. She’s just another frail anime waif. Anyway, she wants to quit swimming altogether and become a manga artist. She still loves swimming, but she loses all confidence when she’s in an actual competition. Somehow, an orgasm-inducing massage is supposed to help her conquer her anxieties. Sure, whatever you say, pervy show.

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Alma-chan Wants to Be a Family! Ep. 4

Machina, the rival robot girl, ends up becoming buddies with Alma like we all predicted. Her creator Toko basically copied a prototype that Suzume had left behind, but her “child” is somewhat shoddily made. Rather than focus on build quality, Toko wasted her time including a self-destruct function instead. Yeah, she’s that kind of weirdo; she’s obsessed with Suzume and despises the fact that Enji is in the picture. But she might have a point, because Enji does seem like a pervert. Seriously, what an odd thing to say.

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Dad is a hero, Mom is a spirit, I’m a reincarnator Ep. 4

With the matters concerning Agiel finally settled, Sauvel takes this opportunity to finally introduce his lover Aria to the family. Unfortunately, the woman immediately starts lusting after Rovel. Kinda weird, man. Why do you NTR lovers gotta taint everything?

The other significant development occurs when the prince’s son locks eyes with Ellen. Look at that shoujo ass background; they’re definitely having a moment. Also weird. Why? Because Ellen is a freaking grown ass Japanese woman on the inside. Welp, it’s not Rovel’s daughter who needs protection from predators.

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Mechanical Marie Ep. 4

Arthur doesn’t take particularly good care of himself. For instance, he should be resting and recuperating right now, but he insists on working instead. The average person might see this and think, “Wow, what a grindset!” It’s all a matter of perspective, though. To me, he’s being stupid. By pushing himself beyond his limits, he’s just going to make himself even more sick, and thus create more work for himself and the people who care about him. But as the business world can attest — and perhaps this speaks to a lot of Japanese worker drones — the appearance of working hard is often enough to impress people. You don’t always have to work hard to succeed. You just have to convince others that you’re working hard. Well, to solve this problem, Marie dons a skimpy nurse’s costume and pins Arthur to the bed. That’s definitely a surefire way to convince him to stop working.

In the second half of the episode, Marie finds herself in yet another fight against Noah. The animation in this show is… to be quite frank, it’s shit. The animation was so distractingly bad that it was very difficult to take the conflict seriously.

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Li’l Miss Vampire Can’t Suck Right Ep. 3

Pretty unexciting episode. Luna visits a bunch of after school clubs to see if any of them are a good fit for her. Otori tries to tag along, but the gag here is that he’s nothing more than a background mob character. He does get the last laugh, though. In the end, Luna chooses to join his Art Club so she can spend time with him and him alone (and to practice sucking his blood). Speaking of which, Sakuma does offer up her blood again, but it never seems to work for one reason or another. Maybe it’s better this way. It almost kinda feels like she’s cheating if Luna drinks someone else’s blood.

As an aside, this is not how you play basketball.

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Tougen Anki Ep. 15

Chatter about what the Momotaros want to do, chatter about how the Onis are gonna save Kougasaki, chatter about how Mudano used to be elite, chatter about their recon abilities, chatter about how the perv now feels inadequate. What a pointless episode. All of this could’ve been an email.

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Gachiakuta Ep. 16

Some old man named Bundus interrogates Bro and Dear about the Cleaners’ somewhat enigmatic boss. They’re setting it up to make it seem like Dear is scary when he’s cranky, i.e. doesn’t get his proper sleep. But I mean, these are tertiary characters. This is what I was afraid of: the story’s pacing grinding to a halt just so we can spotlight a 10-year-old child who has barely mattered up until this point. I had completely forgotten all about him until he suddenly showed up again in last week’s episode. Like, who gives a shit?

Elsewhere, Zodyl eats a cockroach in order to, uh, shock Rudo out of his system…? Okay, man. Whatever rocks your boat. When Zodyl mentions how he’s mystified that he and Rudo could possibly have the same smell (according to Jabber), I wish Rudo would explain that not everyone in Sphere gets to live the good life. But no, munching on cockroaches is all we get.

Last and very least, Zanka seemingly loses to Jabber in a well-animated fight sequence, but I don’t care about either of these characters — not to mention the fact that I’ve already seen them fight before — so whatever. I bet Zanka still has that painted spell to protect him. I also bet we’ll get a flashback to explain his whole “I’m so mediocre” spiel. Meh.