Yup, I’m feelin’ it too, buddy.
Wash It All Away Ep. 5
When Wakana fell off the float and landed on Kyusho, she had her mask on. You can clearly see this in the screenshot above. But afterwards, she put a finger to her lips and acts as if they had kissed. Sigh, maybe I’ll go catch up on Golden Kamuy or something. Got like 30 or 40 episodes to binge, though.
There was a Cute Girl in the Hero’s Party, so I Tried Confessing to Her Ep. 5
Oh no, it’s one of those “if I kill you, then I’m just as bad as you” nonsense spiel. Weak. Plus, that’s not even the worst part. Yoki doesn’t drag the bad guy back to town so that the latter can be tried for his crimes and thus jailed. Nope, he opts instead to toss the murderous Hero into a lake, then says, “If you’re lucky, you might make it back to your country.” Okay? So the bad guy can lick his wounds, then continue killing people? Yoki is so useless.
Tune In to the Midnight Heart Ep. 5
The girls decide to do a proxy confession service during lunchtime. Basically, people can anonymously confess whatever they want to the Broadcasting Club, then the girls will broadcast it to the whole school. Hence, proxy. Somehow, only one of the teachers has a problem with the club doing something like this. Well, you can probably predict where this is headed: the last and final proxy confession is from Apollo herself. Then right before the episode ends, she and Yamabuki have a conversation over a string telephone. This way, he can’t identify her voice from the four girls in the club.
If I were in his shoes, I would’ve just barged right in. Look, I’m not interested in playing her game of cat and mouse. Don’t even give her a chance to worm outta this. “But if you really love her, you would respect her wishes to blah blah blah.” Fuck off. She just admitted that she was wrong for disappearing on him in the first place. She doesn’t get to now dictate how this plays out. But of course, Yamabuki’s not gonna corner Apollo, which is why I don’t buy the next part: right before the credits roll, Apollo claims that she’d be willing to show herself. In the sixth episode? Yeah, no way. Why are you wasting my time with this tease?
Moreover, Apollo’s words aren’t congruent with her actions. She’s sorry that she abandoned him years ago? She’s sorry that she disappeared without a single warning? she ultimately feels that she betrayed him? Then again, why are she playing these mental games? But for the people who honestly enjoy this show, the mystery itself is the appeal. I’m not sure her actual identity even really matters to them. It’s the chase that they love (and I hate). Take the chase out and the series dies with it.
The Case Book of Arne Ep. 5
Welp, this sure took a turn. Arne accusing one of the maids at the end of last week’s episode was just a ploy. He wanted Lynn to review all of the information, and slowly narrow down the list of suspects one by one. It wasn’t the short maid, it wasn’t the other maid, it wasn’t the gardener, it wasn’t the security guard, and it wasn’t the cook either! Oh no, there’s only one possible suspect left! Ah yes, the butler. It’s always the roided out butler… wait, what? Turns out, he’s a vampire too, and he killed Lynn’s old man to revive Nachzehrer, his one true master. He then offers up his body to his true master, who looks more like a punk than a vampire. Nachzehrer and Arne proceed to have a shounen-esque battle, which probably shouldn’t surprise me considering how he took down the golem lady in the first episode. Still, I don’t exactly want my mysteries to have explosive action scenes where the combatants fight in midair. Sorry, didn’t particularly liked Robert Downey Jr’s version of Sherlock Holmes either. Yeah, I’m not exactly vibing with this show. If this is how we’re going to end every arc, then pass. It’s also just silly how this guy is revived and killed in just a third of an episode.
Jack-of-All-Trades, Party of None Ep. 5
Y’know, cliffhangers are kinda expected. Gotta keep the audience coming back every week, right? I just don’t expect the same cliffhanger two weeks in a row. The last episode ended with the black dragon being teleported to another floor. This episode ends with the black dragon finally teleporting in and threatening Orhun and his students. Narratively, this feels weird. We’re cutting back and forth between Orhun with the kids and the Hero’s Party asking their guild for a forced teleport. But these two timelines can’t happen concurrently, because that would mean the Hero’s Party ran on foot all the way back home before the black dragon even finished teleporting. Why would you tell the story that way?
Easygoing Territory Defense by the Optimistic Lord Ep. 4
When we last left off, a horde of armored lizards were on their way to attack the village. Naturally, the newly-erected ballistas take the lizards down effortlessly. Even when the soldiers switch over to wooden bolts, the armored lizards still go down effortlessly. Like everything else in this show, nothing takes any real effort. And as such, nothing feels like a real win. Why were the lizards attacking anyway? Animals don’t see a wall and randomly decide to fight it.
Afterwards, emissaries from a neighboring territory arrive to assess Van. First, they need to determine if he’s a threat. Second, they also want to arrange a marriage between him and this poor, recently exiled daughter of a count. Ugh. Look, don’t forget that Van has the soul of a salaryman. He might look a child on the outside, but on the inside, he’s anything but. These light novelists keep churning out stories where these useless men fuck off to another world just so they can marry children. It’s shameless. Needless to say, Van effortless charms his future child bride.
The Invisible Man and His Soon-to-Be Wife Ep. 4
The main couple is making steady progress, so I don’t really understand why Yako is worried over Tonome’s latest client being an invisible person. It would be nuts to dump your girlfriend out of the blue like that.
We also find out how Kikira first got together with his partner. They literally started holding hands shortly after talking to each other for the first time. I can’t imagine jumping into a relationship that quickly, but hey, whatever floats their boat.
The rest of the episode is just slice-of-life stuff in the mountains. Basically, the entire office went camping after solving a case. Not much to talk about.
Frog dude reminded me how I used to read the Frog and Toad series as a kindergartener. I thought cold-blooded animals didn’t sweat, though.
Roll Over and Die Ep. 4
After Flum and Sara fall down a pit, they discover a research facility full of twisted experiments, a pit of full of dead bodies, a book with Flum’s name in it, and more of those spirals. Apparently, it’s the symbol for the Church of Origin. Well, this show is JRPG-like, so the church is always bad, god is dead and/or evil, so on and so forth. Sara knew all along too. Maybe that’s why she doesn’t mind flouting the rules despite being a nun. Still, I like this tropey storyline more than Flum’s angst over her party kicking her out.
At the end of the episode, Milikit gets up to answer the door, but I doubt it’s Flum. I bet she gets kidnapped by Dein.
On a somewhat related note, I saw a review suggesting that Sara should be shipped with the demon they just met. Alright, calm down, Epstein. She’s a child.
Dark Moon: The Blood Altar Ep. 4
See? This show is Twilight! Look how Sooha sparkles under the blood red moonlight! Wait, is she supposed to sparkle or the vampires? Ah, it doesn’t matter!
I always thought werewolves were supposed to be bipedal and look like a freaky cross between, y’know, a man and a wolf. But these boys might as well be puppies. I then looked up what Jacob looks like as a werewolf, and yeah… he’s literally just a wolf. That’s not how it works. That’s not how any of this works. And yeah, I had to look it up. Sure, I’m making Twilight jokes, but you think I’ve actually seen the movies? Hell no.
Also, Sooha makes it through yet another episode without once talking to a single person who is the same sex as her. Do other women even exist in this universe?! Sure they do! But only hags. And she’s probably a villain.
Nice title.
HELL MODE: The Hardcore Gamer Dominates in Another World with Garbage Balancing Ep. 4
I wasn’t looking for anyone to die, but Allen straight up defeats the giant bird on his first try. It’s the least interesting outcome possible. In traditional shounens, you would have a training arc where the protagonist fails, comes back to try again, fails but does a little better the second time, so on and so forth. Eventually, they inch their way to victory, and the moment is sweet… if you’re into that sort of thing. But like most isekai protagonists, Allen just wins. All of a sudden, he becomes an expert and starts farming the giant birds on the regular. So the floodgates are open, and Allen no longer even bothers to act like a kid anymore. He starts lugging his goods into town and bartering on his own. Now that his father has to hunt boars with a bunch of commoners again, Allen even convinces the adults to let him lead the newbies all by his lonesome. It’s a bit unbelievable, but that’s an isekai for ya.
Reincarnated as a Dragon Hatchling Ep. 4
It’s the same thing every week: the dragon murders all the fauna he comes across and gains exp. Well, almost. He ran from the metallic slime. But that was the only mob he couldn’t beat. He goes on to take down a pot thing and its buddies. Then he kills a bear made out of… clay? Sure, whatever. There’s also a flesh-eating flower. Always gotta have one of those. Last but not least, a cute lizard takes a bite out of the dragon, thereby poisoning him. But again, the lizard is cute so we can’t murder it, can we? Look at it, it’s a baby~
In the parallel storyline, the human girl goes looking for one of her former party members. That’s it. She feels guilty that they were idiots and she couldn’t stop them from being idiots. So technically, she’s being an idiot for risking her life for a bunch of idiots. It’s idiots all the way down.
We do meet a couple of new faces. Maybe they can spice things up a bit, but I wouldn’t put my money on it.
Scum of the Brave Ep. 4
Ishino is up to something, but we don’t really get much to work with on this front. He sends Jogamine to ask a drug dealer a question then read his mind. But thanks to Yashiro not wanting to get involved, we have no clue what she found out. Welp, that’s certainly one way to withhold information from the audience.
The rest of the episode just has Jogamine and Yashiro preventing a bunch of shady dudes from date raping a couple of teenagers. Yeah, you read that right. Yashiro grumbles a lot about doing the right thing, but he ends up doing the right thing anyway. Ever since Jogamine showed up, at least. Basically, the guy is tsundere for morals.
In the Clear Moonlit Dusk Ep. 4
The episode opens with Takiguchi yelling at Ichimura, but I memory-hole’d practically all of last week’s episode. As a result, I have no clue what she’s mad about. Whoops. It sounds like the two kids are trying to figure out if they like each other. Ichimura’s friends says it has to be love, because he’s just so obsessed with her. Meanwhile, Takiguchi doesn’t think she likes him, but she totally wants him to like her. That’s not love, you guys. That’s just infatuation.
Anyway, the two go on a date to eat gyoza. Yep, just gyoza. Man, I could really go for some. But the clean up is such a hassle. The hot oil gets everywhere, and when you’re full up on gyoza (or just food in general), you don’t really wanna start scrubbing the stove top. But if you let it sit, it’ll be harder to clean later… yeah, I’m yapping about gyoza, ’cause I don’t really want to get back to the show. But I guess I should.
Ichimura’s idiot friends show up, and she’s not used to them staring at her in this sort of situation. So Ichimura blocks their view with his body by sitting elbow to elbow with her. Ooooh, she’s being treated like a girlie girl! Pfft, sure. But again, Takiguchi is confused about her newfound feelings, so she wants romantic gestures, but she also doesn’t want romantic gestures. She wants to message him when they’re not together, but at school, she avoids him. She slaps his hand away when he reaches out to touch her face, but she can’t decide whether or not she would hate a kiss from him. Ah, man, this is exhausting.
…
It’s fine. I’m getting my feelgood romance fix elsewhere this season. I don’t need this show to be sensible.
Kunon the Sorcerer Can See Ep. 6
After painstaking years under Zeonly’s tutelage, where Kunon had to assist his master in developing all sorts of useful household tools like a mini oven or an insect trap for no compensation whatsoever, our protagonist finally manages to develop a magic eye that allows him to see. Of course, I can’t help but wonder how a brain that has never had to process visual imagery would suddenly cope with this newfound function… but whatever, it’s just magic!
So the show’s over, right? I mean, Kunon can see now. What else is there to do? Well, he plans on attending a mage academy. Zeonly’s expertise is earth magic, so he can only take Kunon so far. If the kid wants to expand his horizons, he’s going to have to find a master in water magic. More importantly, however, there’s a giant crab in Kunon’s room for some bizarre reason. It would be cool if his magic eye also gave him insight a la Bloodborne, so Kunon can see all sorts of extradimensional nether-creatures like Nyarlathotep or Cthulhu. Y’know, beings that are normally invisible to plain ol’ humans like you or me. But again, this is just a giant crab, so probably not.
Hana-Kimi Ep. 6
So Mizuki’s brother knows she’s here just to meet the high jumper. In fact, he only wants to drag her back home if Izumi fails his jump in the prelims. Basically, Mizuki’s brother is a bit of a siscon. The whole family is insane. Here’s Mizuki biting her brother like a dog, because he has the gall to try and drag her home. C’mon, bro, stop treating me like I’m insane! I’m only cross-dressing so I can be close to my crush. What’s the big deal!
Well, Izumi makes the jump, but still doesn’t advance. But baby steps, etc, etc. You almost want to cheer for the guy. But then you realize he’s in a romance series where his love interest is a stalker. All of a sudden, I’m unimmersed again. Look, Izumi already knows she’s a girl, and he doesn’t seem to mind that she’s obsessed with him. He even accepts her love and marriage charm. Just rip the bandaid off and get with her already. Why are we dragging this out? For what?
Kaya-chan Isn’t Scary Ep. 4
In the first story, a little girl is being chased by a spirit on all fours. I was surprised to see Kaya let to the ghost walk past her without doing anything about it. She ends up saving the girl later, so maybe she just wanted to delay her heroics for dramatic effect. Anyway, we learn that the ghost belongs to an elderly man who has recently gone missing. His spirit started haunting the little girl when she found what looks like a bag floating down a waterway. It’s hard to tell, because the show is censoring itself. I like these kinds of horror stories, though. Frankly, there’s a hard cap on how scary this show can be due to its cutesy art direction. Nevertheless, the implications are a little creepy. I can’t help but wonder how the old man ended up in a bag. Who killed him, why, and is the killer still out there? It’s the evil in real life that spooks me, not the ghosts.
In contrast, the second story doesn’t do anything for me. An evil doll influences a little girl into mimicking it. At first, she cuts her hair to resemble the doll. Later, we see her knock out one of her teeth. Sheesh. It’s a baby tooth, so the other one will eventually replace it. But still… Of course, Kaya saves the day once again. But again, it’s just an evil doll. Not much else to say about it.
In the third and final story, we finally learn the truth about Kaya’s mother. To most people, she’s just a normal, loving mother — a normal, loving, and very pregnant mother. But to spiritually sensitive people like Kaya and that creepy-looking ojisan, they see something very different. Apparently, Kaya’s unborn brother is a specter. How did that even happen? Her father might want to get his sperm checked. Anyway, I joke, because this story has no resolution… yet. We’ll just have to wait and see what happens. Will the mother carry the pregnancy to term? Will Kaya “exorcise” the specter before that happens? Will her mother even survive this ordeal? We also can’t discount the possibility that the mother herself might also be evil.
But yeah, still a very entertaining episode overall. This and Journal with Witch have been my two biggest surprises of the season. I definitely didn’t expect to enjoy Kaya-chan Isn’t Scary this much.
Noble Reincarnation: Born Blessed, So I’ll Obtain Ultimate Power Ep. 5
This show just gets dumber and dumber by the week. At the start of the episode, Noah holds the knight selection exam. Naturally, the initial batch of recruits are unimpressive. After all, they’re all burly and ugly! Worst of all, they’re men. Who would want that! Naturally, the only person to succeed is a cutie-patootie with no muscle mass whatsoever. Nevertheless, she manages to puncture Noah’s shield. It’s not like she has skill or anything. She took a stab, and when it didn’t completely go through his shield, she pushed harder. Bravo, what a knight! Please enter my service! I love how the gooner who designed the knight not only forced her to show off her side boobs at all time, they even placed a beauty mark on one side. What a genius move. Needless to say, the girl immediately pledges her entire life to Noah. Why not? Who among us wouldn’t want to obey a child?
In the second half of the episode, Noah purchases a rare glass statue by the famous artist… uh, Lindsey. Yeah, just Lindsey. Anyway, there are only two of these rare glass statues in the entire world! Upon learning that one of his brothers has the other statue, Noah immediately shatters the one in front of him. Haw haw, y’see, now the one in his brother’s possession is even more valuable than ever! Hold on, lemme go kill my other son. Now my first son will be loved even more than ever! All hail the wise prince’s amazing logic! But seriously, this is so stupid. Fine, Noah doesn’t care about art. He only cares about “the people.” But it’s still fucking dumb to destroy something that other people consider a masterpiece. Operas don’t interest me, but I’m not going to crash every opera performance and piss on their parade. What is this nonsense? He could’ve just given the statue to his brother to complete the collection, and still spread rumors that there is only one left. What? Is the wise prince above lying?
The Villainess Is Adored by the Prince of the Neighbor(ing) Kingdom Ep. 4
Yes, of course Akari is another player who has been isekai’d much like Tiara. She’s also Japanese. Obviously, only Japanese people get isekai’d. They invented the genre, so they get first dibs. No, Aquasteed is going to wet his panties over her light magic. She still wants him, however, because she’s played the second game, and he’s her “favorite.” Right. Well, it’s a bit different when the love interests aren’t just bit and bytes on the screen. When they’re actually people, they get to choose who they marry and such…
…
…ah, who am I kidding? Aquasteed is as flat and dull as any video game character should be. Nevertheless, he defends Tiara from Akari, vows that his love for her is true and eternal, blah blah blah. Nevertheless, Akari warns Tiara not to lose against the second heroine. Naturally, I have to wonder if the new girl is a player as well. And what about the second game’s villainess. It’s a sequel, after all. Surely, it has a counterpart to Tiara, right?
Everything else about everything else:
I’m still playing Trails beyond the Horizon. What can I say? It’s a long game. It’s also a struggle to read every single inane line of dialogue. The light-hearted side quests that used to work so well in previous games simply don’t make much sense anymore at this late juncture in the series. On the one hand, the main scenario quests are dropping major revelations left and right — revelations with huge implications about the very nature of the characters’ existence — of the world itself! On the other hand, you have a side quest to go find a mama swallow that has gone missing. Sorry, but what? I don’t care. I really, really don’t care. Our worldview has been shattered, and you want me to go look for a bird? Get outta here.
Trails in the Sky is by no means a masterpiece, but I yearn for the simplicity of the older games in the series. There are just too many characters nowadays — too many aura-farming assholes left and right. While I’m still curious to see how the writers intend to resolve the fate of Zemuria as a whole, I’m no longer invested in any of the characters. I especially no longer care if anyone dies. Why? ‘Cause let’s be honest, who ever really stays dead? Millium sure as hell didn’t! Crow didn’t! Besides, it’s not like BIG MAJOR PLOT CHARACTER is dead anyways. They’re just… not in this plane of existence anymore.
Anyways, I’m looking forward to Dragon Quest VII Reimagined. I mean, talking about simplicity, the Dragon Quest series has never let us down on that front.
