First up is The Klutzy Class Monitor and the Girl with the Short Skirt. Maybe you watched a certain show last season and thought to yourself, Y’know, I kinda like polar opposites! I want more of that! Well, Togo and Poem (yeah, that’s her name) are kinda like polar opposites, but in the least interesting way possible. The girl is your old school tsundere. All you gotta do is compliment her, and she’ll melt in your hands like chocolate. Unfortunately, she also gets very, very violent. Oh man, it’s so funny when the girl socks her love interest in the stomach. Peak 90s or 00s romcom antics! But in all seriousness, there isn’t much else to say about Poem. Uh… I guess she’s decent at math?

Togo, on the other hand, is our resident stickler for the rules. Oddly enough, he’s also an idiot, and we’re not just talking about math. For instance, his main justification for harping on Poem’s short skirt is because her underwear is too sexy. In his mind, her clothes will incite men’s carnal desires and thus endanger her. Basically, she’s asking for it. Unfortunately, Poem’s too busy blushing to realize just how problematic Togo’s beliefs are. Look, it doesn’t matter what you wear. You’re going to get attacked because people are scum.

So I’m sitting here, wondering if there are hidden depths to these characters that might make future episodes a little more palatable. Or is this show just gonna remain gimmicky? Well, the story has already gone and introduced another idiot, so I think gimmicky is the route the anime is taking. One apparently wasn’t enough, so we get another stickler in the form of Yu, a former delinquent. The only difference with the new guy is that he’s obsessed about his classmates’ health. Nevertheless, he’s already making the girls swoon. So maybe that’s all this show is going to be: a bunch of idiots running around screaming at the top of their lungs about rules, but nevertheless wooing their classmates. Yeah, that sounds terrible.

Next up is LIAR GAME with all caps for some reason. Our heroine is so honest and forthright that when she finds a 100-yen coin, she goes and turns it in to the police. A 100-yen. What a waste of time. You’re not actually making the world better when you do this sort of thing. You’d make a bigger difference dropping the coin off at some donation box. But this is the anime trying to set the stage. Basically, our heroine is not just naive, she’s also not all that bright. Seriously, honest doesn’t have to mean dumb. The whole traits aren’t even related. In any case, Nao’s going to need a lot of help in order to get through the eponymous LIAR GAME. Our girl is lil’ baby carp swimming in a sea full of sharks.

The premise to these shows are always the same. For instance, participation is practically mandatory. Nao seals her fate by simply opening a mysterious package in the mail. Somehow, you can never back out. Also, failure usually leads to utter ruin. In this specific scenario, Nao has to protect her money from her opponent, who has also received a similarly sized stack of cash. If she loses any of her money to her opponent, she’ll have to pay it back to the shady organization running the game. How will they enforce this? Shhh, just go along with the premise! It’s no fun if you poke holes into everything!

The point is, Nao clearly doesn’t wanna cheat the other person out of their money, but she also doesn’t want to be cheated either. Our girl doesn’t exactly have 100 million yen in her pocket to pay back if she loses. They even tack on a terminal father to hit you in the feels. So what’s an honest girl to do? Unfortunately, Nao’s so dumb that it’s painful. Her opponent just so happens to be her former teacher, and he was so kind to her in the past. Surely, he can be trusted with 100 million yen, right? Well, dude doesn’t even have to try. The old man is just like, “Yo, give your stash to me for safekeeping!” And that’s it. Nao goes and hands her money over. Sigh. It should be a crime to bully the mentally impaired. Seriously, I think Nao actually needs a 24/7 caretaker. I don’t think she should be allowed to wander the streets on her own.

Luckily, cool anime boy is here for the rescue! All you gotta do is look up a con man about to be released from prison, then bam, instant ally! But let’s back up for a second. When you just got scammed out of 100 million yen, I would question trying to get involved with someone who literally went to prison for lying. Even the guy was like, “Girl, are you for real?” But fine, Nao is desperate, and she has no one else to turn to. She’s already 100 million yen in the hole, so it’s not like she’s got anything to lose at this point. Nao might as well put her fate in the hands of some random dude she’s never met. Nao then employs the one simple trick that always works on anime boys: following them around like a sad puppy.

I’m not too concerned with the results of round one. Or even season one. The problem with these shows is that they never have a satisfying conclusion. I’m sure that after much blood, sweat, and tears, Nao will eventually emerge from this whole mess victorious — mentally scarred but victorious. She might even stop being so stupidly naive by the end of season. But you know what will happen next? The story will scheme up a reason to thrust Nao into yet even more rounds of the LIAR GAME. Why? I dunno, maybe this time, she has to save cool anime boy or whatever. We then do a little sequel tease before rolling the credits.

But do we ever find out what the mysterious organization is and why they’re forcing people to play these nasty games? Almost never. It’s the sort of writing where you come up with the premise first, then hope you can meander for as long as you can until you buy enough time to come up with a half-decent explanation. But usually by then, the anime adaptation will have ended a long time ago. Usually by then, no one is interested in producing the final, concluding season. People will then tut-tut you and state the obvious: “If you want to know the ending of the series, you gotta read the manga! Anime adaptations are designed to drive manga sales!” Yes, we know that. But it’s still shitty.