They were just roommates, tho!
LIAR GAME Ep. 13
Kikuzawa, one of the background mobs, suddenly steps up and says he has a surefire way to intercept the other team’s contraband. But of course, he’s not going to tell you what his trick is. But last week, we clocked early on that Yokoya doesn’t have clairvoyance; he’s obviously getting his information from someone. So likewise, Kikuzawa has no trick. He’s simply the traitor. He’s the one working with Yokoya. But of course, no one suspects a thing. Not even Fukunaga, who seemed somewhat clever in previous rounds, but has since been relegated to yet another clueless background character in round three. Fine, fine, let’s just wait for the penny to drop, i.e. Akiyama to figure everything out like he always does.
Sure enough, he does so by about the midway point of the episode. Cue the tiresome explanation. That’s one of the other problems with this show: if you spot the trick early, you still have to endure the exposition anyway. The rest of the episode is all about how Kikuzawa and Yokoya have been in cahoots the entire time, when it started, how they secretly communicated through a window, etc. But whatever, I’m mostly here for Nao’s facial expressions. She’s always so shocked every time something happens, big or small. It’s grown on me!
MARRIAGETOXIN Ep. 13
When we last left off, Toshiro’s sister, the new head of the Beast Clan, crashes the party. But she doesn’t stick around. All she does is pretty much announce her presence and take her brother with her. She even suggests throwing her hat into the marriage contest. Yawn. As if Hikari would ever pick anyone. I mean, look, hamster girl should technically win, right? After all, she’s got the key advantage: she’s met him before, so they might as well be childhood friends! But we get no progress. Why? Because she backs out. Kimie has the gall to pull the “I’m not good enough for you yet, but I’ll make you fall for me one day!” card. Ho ho ho, what a twist! The girl wusses out instead of the guy! But how much better does she need to get? She can practically control all of the critters now! Whatever, man.
Like every other season finale to an ongoing manga series, the show teases future foes. We already got Tonako at the start of the episode, but there’s also this Teruaki guy, whom we see bathing naked in a vat full of toxic critters.
I think I said it last week, but there’s always going to be a bigger, badder fish for Hikari to contend with. He’ll never find the right girl for him, because he’s always busy fighting off other assassins. More importantly, we’re never going to spend time with any of the girls to get to know them on a deeper level thanks to this show’s pseudo-harem structure. The setup was flawed from the start. MARRIAGETOXIN is just a shounen pretending to be a romance. Shockingly good animation quality, but that’s pretty much the only positive thing I can say about it.
I’ll just leave you with this parting shot of Shizuku, the water girl, taxiing the rest of them like some kinda circus animal:
Yo, pick her! If you gotta fight, you might as well marry a woman who can fight with you.
I Want to End This Love Game Ep. 12
Whenever someone was wussing out, this husband-wife streamer I occasionally watch on Twitch liked to tease each other by screaming, “Big pussy, no balls!” Crass, but it pretty much sums up this anime and the couple at the center of it. Even after an extended make-out session two episodes ago, and one of those generic “you got sick so lemme care for you” episodes last week, Yukiya and Miku are… drum roll …not together yet!
In fact, they don’t even take a step forward in this finale. Instead, we just get the two of them being cringe. And I know cringe is overused these days! I know, I know! It’s so lazy to default to everything being cringe! But just look at this example! Miku invites herself over to make daifuku mochi. This is her way of thanking Yukiya for for taking care of her. Rather than kiss the girl that he has LITERALLY already kissed, when Miku steps out of the room for a bio break, she comes back to find Yukiya making out with the daifuku she had touched. One step forward, a billion steps backwards.
In Yukiya’s mind, he’s still not good enough for her. He says that he’ll finally prove it… uh, during the sports festival! Wait, make it the summer! That’s the problem, though. He’ll just keep moving the goalposts because he has no balls. I-I-I’ll do it after I graduate and become a man. I-I-I’ll do it when I get a job and can provide for her! I-I do it when I get a promotio-… wait, she’s married with kids?
Now, I do have to clear one thing up. The episode actually ends with the two of them saying “I love you” to each other, and if you had no context whatsoever, you might they think they were being honest. You might think their smiles were genuine. But seconds ago, they were playing that stupid ass love game of theirs. These two kids have constantly retreated back to the love game throughout the series. They do it anytime they need to be straightforward and earnest, so you’ll have to excuse me if I don’t take those “I love yous” at the end seriously! There’s no reason to think they won’t wuss out again. It’s like the end of Inception. Does the totem drop or does it keep spinning? Who the hell knows anymore! You might say that it doesn’t matter — that Yukiya and Miku teasing each other is the journey we’re supposed to appreciate, because we already know that they’ll end up together. Do we, though? Do we? Yukiya is so gormless, after all. And other guys are gunning for her. You never know~
To make a long story short, Love is War did it a billion times better. Yes, it still took that show three damn seasons to get to the love confession, but at least they were funny about it.
Petals of Reincarnation Ep. 13
They — as in the people in charge of this adaptation — went into this series knowing full well that they couldn’t possibly cover the entire source material in one 13-episode season, but they still wanted to reach this arbitrary point in the story. And what point was that? Having Toya and Haito affirm each other as life partners. So they’re in love, right? Well… not exactly. Petals of Reincarnation takes the shounen tack where two characters promise to support each other til death, but god forbid you actually say you love each other. God forbid you even consider kissing each other (though Haito obviously wouldn’t mind). So that’s that. Toya explains his rationale to Haito, so she calms down and agrees to be his sword until the day they die. Coulda just done that from the start…
“But wait,” you’re probably asking, “what about the rest of the story?” Completely and utterly unresolved. Good Einstein still hasn’t recovered from the last fight. Meanwhile, Nightingale reprimands evil Einstein for disobeying orders. Roll credits, then we end on a shot of our heroes traveling to the Seed by boat. That’s it. That’s literally it. Unsatisfying, huh?
So I did a little digging. Not only did the adaptation try and squeeze 40-odd chapters of the manga into one season, each chapter was already longer than what you’d normally get in your average manga. So in all practicality, think 100+ odd chapters being adapted into one season. Why? Why do this? Any idiot can tell you that this is a bad idea, but they still went forward with this plan anyway. I so wish I could get the behind-the-scenes look on this show’s production. After all, you don’t need to dissect a healthy corpse. But when they’re rotting and festering on the autopsy table, doesn’t that just make you deathly curious?
The Barbarian’s Bride Ep. 12
If this is the last episode, which I believe it is, then it does not comport itself well. But who here can honestly say that they’re surprised? Certainly not me. But yeah, this episode sucks. It combines the two worst forms of anime storytelling: boring action and equally uninteresting exposition. Much of the first half resembles every terrible dragon encounter from a Soulsborne game: watching our heroes awkwardly flail at the dragon’s feet. The only thing we’re missing is the terrible camera.
Eventually, Serafina does enough damage to trigger a cutscene. Ho ho ho, the dragon is just testing them. And yes, it can talk. It can yap your ears off. To make a long (and very dull) story short, Serafina is a descendant of someone very special, but if she doesn’t understand that, then she needs to go see the world, blah blah blah, watch the sequel if and when it comes out. Better yet, buy the source material because we all know that’s ultimately why these dumb shows are adapted.
But wait, if dragons can talk, isn’t it bad that Veor and his people have been hunting and killing them for meat?! The fire dragon just nonchalantly hand-wav-… er, claw-waves this away: that dragon they killed was probably senile, and it’s totally okay and natural to kill the elderly, especially if it’s for sustenance. Hear that, Japan’s aging population?!
In the end, Serafina informs Veor that she intends to keep seeing and learning about the world around her. And when she’s done, she’ll finally settle down and marry him. Yup, she’s fallen in love.
Meanwhile, back in her old kingdom, the king tells her brother to set out on yet another expedition to invade the barbarians. Y’know, in case you needed more of a sequel hook than what we already got. As a treat, here’s one last bit of misogyny for the road: “But it seems, for all [Serafina’s] strength, she’s still a woman.” Why eat old, senile dragons when you can just eat the richroyalty?
Scenes from Awajima Ep. 12
I think I’m ambivalent about this ending, and I’ve sat here for the last half hour trying to come up with the words to explain myself. Alright, so Wakana’s book didn’t quite get the reception she wanted. People aren’t celebrating Emi Okabe’s life and what could’ve been, nor are they reflecting on Katsurako’s regrets. Instead, they’re honing in on the bullying story for the most part, and of course they would. If Wakana thought otherwise, then she was being naive. In the end, however, it’s up to the next generation to pick up the pieces and move forward. As a result, the Awajima Revue is preparing an adaptation of her book into a stage play. At the very least, they’re not running away from the scandal. They’re taking it head on, and Emi’s story won’t be forgotten. Will the adaptation succeed where the book failed? Who can say? But therein hope lies.
So all of that is fine. Where the ending falters a bit for me is when Wakana and Kinue have a sitdown chat to reflect on their time at Awajima. They eventually settle on the conclusion that they were complicit in Awajima’s cutthroat environment. Were they? Did we see that? Or were we simply told that? That’s the problem with the show’s omnibus format. On the one hand, we got a wide selection of stories. We got to see Awajima from every angle. On the other hand, we never delved too deeply into any of these characters’ lives outside of Emi and Katsurako. This is why I was so surprised to see Wakana had not only graduated, but that she had also become an established author. I felt like I never really got her story. For her to sit here and say she had played a role in the school’s troubled image, well, I don’t doubt her, but I don’t think the show succeeded in showing that whatsoever.
Scenes from Awajima is certainly one of the best shows this season. Hell, it might even be the best. But I didn’t walk away from this season finale fully sated.
Snowball Earth Ep. 13
The humanoid kaiju merges with whatever’s left of Hercules, so I am expecting one last battle. But you see the humanoid kaiju sticking out of the newly formed skull? Obvious weak point for anyone who has ever played a video game. As a result, Sagami somehow appears behind the humanoid kaiju — how did he even get up there? — and caps it in the head. He doesn’t actually put a stop to the kaiju’s rampage. In fact, it turns around and cleaves him in two. But this is enough of a distraction for Tetsuo to zoom in and cleave the kaiju in two. Well, guess what? This isn’t even our big bad’s true form. It’s just an avatar. Its actual body is elsewhere. Kind of a cop out if you ask me, but this ends the immediate threat on the mall and its inhabitants. Our heroes can breath easy, especially since we still have more than half an episode left. It’s all denouement from here on out.
Yeah, yeah, Sagami is dead. Big sad. You’ll have to excuse me for not crying over a dude who doomed humanity for his own ego. Meanwhile, Ao is recovering just fine. In fact, she blushes when Tetsuo includes her in the group of people he wants to protect. Apparently, up until now, she didn’t consider herself a person worthy of being saved. Something about being a kaiju tamer. Shrug, don’t ask me. As for Sagami’s kids, they all survive. After all, the story isn’t going to kill off children… er, except for the one girl who was body-snatched by the humanoid kaiju. Ah well, sucks to be her. And also, kinda sucks to be these kids too, because the villagers gave them kaiju meat to eat while they’re imprisoned — meat that came from their kaijus. Sorry, I know this is a post-apocalyptic story and all, so you can’t be picky, but I can’t imagine eating my cat even if I was starving.
Last but not least, the entire community will pack things up and move west. After all, the big bad knows where they are, so they gotta find a new safe spot. But Sagami tasked Tetsuo with saving Earth (i.e. unfucking his mess), so at some point, they’re going to have to stand their ground and fight. In fact, a quick search confirms that a second season has already been announced. But will we see Earth return to its former glory by the end of it? Probably not.
Eh, this was an unremarkable show that merely served to chew up a time slot. I don’t hate it, I don’t love it. It’s just there. And when the second season rolls around, I’ll probably give it the same treatment as I did now.
The Drops of God Ep. 12
This show is too funny. We spent all that time picking out the Third Apostle only for Issei to back out at the last second and forfeit the round. He did this immediately after hearing Shizuku’s description of the wine. Y’see, the Third Apostle is all about nostalgia, and it made Shizuku think of his mother. So I dunno, maybe Issei felt like he couldn’t take this moment away from his opponent. In the end, however, it just rankles Shizuku; nobody likes winning by default. In the end, he gets the standard shounen conclusion: I need to train even harder and gain even more experience! There, there, buddy, you’ll make it some day.
So what is the rest of the episode about? Er, a love triangle, actually — a love triangle between Issei, Loulan, and Maki. Maki, jealous that she was only ever a side piece, tries to sabotage Loulan by having her pick out an important bottle for an upcoming dinner between two CEOs. But at the last second, the bottle is swapped with another one that has spoiled. Even so, Issei serves it anyway. ‘Cause y’know, it’s a metaphor. Spoiled wine symbolizes, uh, the spoiled friendship between the two CEOs, so they better kiss and make up. What? You don’t kiss your homies? But man, Issei is wasting his talents in Japan. They should send him over to the Middle East to broker peace. All he needs is French wines to get the job done.
Even though Issei deftly saves the day, Maki is undeterred. She immediately gets in Loulan’s ear, and tells the girl to fuck off back to China. And the hilarious part is that the girl just agrees! Wait until Issei is done so they can have a chat? No, perish the thought! I must self-exile myself immediately! So we get this cheesy Hollywood-ass sequence where Issei has to race against the clock to get to the airport before Loulan leaves forever. He can’t even call her, because she just… gave up her phone to Maki for some stupid reason. We hit every little trope along the way too! Oh no, there’s a traffic jam! Oh no, in his rush, Issei gets into a car accident! Oh no, even though he dragged his bloodied ass to the airport, Loulan’s flight has already departed! Luckily, Loulan wasn’t on the plane. Why? ‘Cause she couldn’t get through security due to the sommelier knife he had gifted her. Awwwwwwww~ but we could’ve avoided all of this if, y’know, Loulan just spoke to the damn guy. Or kept her phone. Or anything except run off like an idiot because his jilted side piece, whom she barely knows, told her to do so.
Seriously, I’m just cracking up over here. This show is pure ridiculousness. Even though this felt like a finale of sorts, I already know that The Drops of God is continuing well into the summer. And y’know what, I’m glad to keep watching it. This has been such an absurd ride since the very first episode. I can’t wait to see what other bullshit they cook up next.
Agents of the Four Seasons: Dance of Spring Ep. 14
Hinagiku and Rosei finally reunite, but even so, it still feels like they delay the big payoff for as long as they could. They delay it to the point that Rosei feels superfluous. Wait, nah, forget “feels.” He is superfluous. I don’t really know why he’s here other than to insist that Hinagiku is romantically straight.
So to set the stage, Hinagiku willingly goes to confront Misuzu alone (with Sakura, of course) in order to prevent the latter from setting off a bunch of bombs and thereby killing innocent people. Y’see, Misuzu is obsessed with Hinagiku, because our heroine is just so kind and caring. Our big bad villainess was also abused — it’s just abused women from start to finish — so she wishes she could’ve had someone like Hinagiku by her side. Too bad she’s crazy and warped. I never talked about it, but the reason why Hinagiku finally snapped and broke free from the terrorists was because Misuzu tried to pick out a lover for the girl (arranged marriage metaphor).
So I’m watching Sakura valiantly try to fight off MIsuzu’s bodyguard, while Misuzu backs Hinagiku into a corner. The girls are doing everything — literally everything. Once it seems like Hinagiku has nowhere left to go, Rosei and his guard finally comes bursting through the window to save the day. And this is a microcosm of the show as a whole. The girls do everything as they travel across the country, bringing spring back to the world. They also work out their feelings and traumas during the entire process, expressing and reaffirming their love for one another over and over and over. Meanwhile, we would sporadically cut to Rosei from time to time, who’s sitting and brooding in the dark. “MY GUILT, BRO, I FAILED HER. ARGH I LET HER GO… but I’m not going to see her.” Rinse and repeat for pretty much all of the previous thirteen fucking episodes. Hinagiku and Sakura should just be partners. Like this finale, they spend all this time together only for Rosei to swoop in and get the girl without doing anything! And I know Hinagiku and Sakura openly express their love for each other all the time, but it always stops short of being romantic. Why?
Then there’s the weird “the other Hinagiku is dead” business. Here’s the logic: in order to cope with all the abuse, Hinagiku dissociated and created a split personality. Alright, sure. I haven’t studied psychology, but I’ve heard of this before. When Misuzu picked out a “lover” for Hinagiku, and said “lover” tried to rape the girl, the other personality — the one that we see now in the present day — took over, almost murdered every single terrorist in the vicinity (except Misuzu, of course), and the rest is history. Except for the fact that the “original” Hinagiku died…? Is that… possible? This Hinagiku — again, the original personality — is a separate spiritual entity who can now reunite with her mother in the afterlife? Like I said, I haven’t studied psychology nor do I believe in the existence of souls, so I’ll just leave it at that. The point is, the Hinagiku we see has been dealing with survivor’s guilt all season long, and she is unsure that she deserves Rosei’s love even though she loves him just as much as the original Hinagiku. Wait, what? This Hinagiku technically never spent any time with Rosei. Her memories of him belong to the dead one. That’s why this romance feels so damn odd to me. This Hinagiku spends most of her time with Sakura, but she pines for Rosei because she has latent feelings from her dead self. Right.
Meanwhile, Rosei’s just like… yeah, I loved her too, but I’m glad you’re here… so I love you! Is that romantic? Is that true love? He doesn’t know this Hinagiku at all. If we’re following the show’s logic, they’re different people, so he needs to start over. But he’s head over heels for her already? I dunno, man… something about all of this just doesn’t sit right with me. And y’know, this could all be fixed if we just got rid of Rosei, ’cause he didn’t do shit all season anyway. Why do we even need him? Why not just fold aspects of his character into Sakura and make them one person? Their entire journey together would instead become Sakura coming to grips with the fact that the old Hinagiku is dead and coming to love the new version. But instead, we end with this awkward “I romantically love Rosei, but you’re the girl I love the most, Sakura” conclusion. The last shot is literally her and Sakura holding hands. Not Hinagiku and Rosei; it’s Hinagiku and Sakura reiterating that they’ll always be together. But he’s the lover? It’s overwrought. Everything about this show — the emotions, the numerous, tortuous trips down memory lane, the conclusion, and even the relationships — are just overwrought when the author could’ve just kept it simple.
Scum of the Brave Ep. 24
When we last left off, Arthur Pendragon, i.e. Sara’s dad, revealed himself to be the leader of Half Dragon, the criminal organization behind all the experiments and distribution of drugs. But there’s no fight to be had… kinda. Last week was the final physical battle. This week is thus the final ideological battle. And if you have all the right ingredients, this should work. Either it’s a battle of wits between two great minds (which we obviously don’t have), or there’s so much tension, the resulting conversation feels like a jaunt on a razor’s edge. Any mistake devolves into chaos and someone dying. Buuuuuuuut we don’t get that either.
Most of the conversation is an exposition dump as Yashiro finally gets all the answers to the show’s many unanswered questions. The revelations, however, are mundane. Dark Lords need to cultivate chaos in order to justify the existence of Braves, and in turn, whenever a Dark Lord gets a little too uppity, e.g. Coffin Count of Storm, someone culls them. It’s like how we keep the population of wolves in check or whatever. On paper, this is the culmination of Yashiro’s cynical world view, and now that it’s staring directly in the face, he realizes he doesn’t like it one bit. Plus, his apprentices have had a profound effect on him. As a result, he more or less begs Arthur to keep up the idealistic facade. They, as in adults like him and Arthur, are ultimately hopeless, but the least they can do is help the next generation be better than them. Sure, logically it all makes sense. But like I said, the execution leaves me wanting. At no point did I feel like anyone was in danger or things could spiral out of control. It was a ho-hum conversation to cap off a ho-hum series.
Afterwards, we have a quick scene to show that life simply goes on. For example, the Coffin Count of Storm is now just a part-timer at Ed’s bar. Apparently, they forced her to undergo surgery to take away her Dark Lord powers. The girls continue on their paths to become righteous Braves. Meanwhile, Yashiro gleefully takes on a new apprentice — a wayward boy with a name that sounds like it’s straight out of the Yakuza video game series — much to the girls’ chagrin. They’re mad he made them jump through hoops, but readily accepts the new kid. Well, maybe the boy reminds Yashiro of himself. Either way, I can’t say I’ll be missing this show. The execution was always mediocre at best. The characterization was too weak to justify such a safe and played out premise. If anything, I think I would have preferred to see the Coffin Count of Storms lure Yashiro over to the “dark side,” ’cause maybe this would’ve tipped the scales and break them out of this cynical, self-perpetuating cycle of violence that the Braves and Dark Lords are trapped in. Why is it so bad if one side wins? Why is it so bad for the Braves to lose their purpose in a Dark Lords-less world? Would you let criminals run free just because the alternative means cops are out of a job? No, that’s stupid.
Mission: Yozakura Family S2 Ep. 12
Unfortunately, they were never gonna let Kyochiro die, so Taiyo uses his Profuse Blooming (read: love) to purify Tsubomi’s poisonous blood and save his brother-in-law. The first half of the episode is just an extension of their encounter during the spy exam: Taiyo finally proves that he can take over as Mutsumi’s most important protector. It’s just… the emotional beats don’t land like they should, because the show is repetitive. When Kyochirou tried to confront the former Yozakura heads on his own, he had a startling realization: he thought he was protecting Mutsumi, but all this time, she was protecting him and the rest of the family! So back to the present, as a restrained Taiyo watches Kyochirou run away from him and the family, he comes to a startling revelation: all this time, Kyochiro’s been protecting him and the rest of the family! See what I mean? You might protest, “Bro, it’s the parallels!” But we literally just got Kyochiro’s “startling revelation” two episodes ago. That’s why it’s so fresh in my mind. You can’t hit someone twice in the same area in such a short window. They’re still numb from the first hit. And that’s the real problem with Kyochiro’s little solo escapade: the story resolves it way too quickly. He barely spent any time away from the family at all. That sense of potential loss — the “startling realization” that the Yozakuras could truly lose him for good — never had time to sink in. Sure, they were never gonna let Kyochiro die, but they could’ve done more than go through the motions. Let me believe!!!
Anyway, Momo shows up and delivers the predictable villain spiel about how he had been manipulating everything from the start in order to revive his wife (who currently exists as a still-beating heart in a jar). When the kids are grossed out, he crashes out, then “blasts off” again like Team Rocket. In other words, the story will continue in the fall. Meh.
Final thoughts? The second season was a lot like the first season: a lot of aimlessness until the story suddenly decided to lock in. But even then, the flaws are too large to ignore.
Wistoria: Wand and Sword S2 Ep. 12
Guess what? Will doesn’t join Elfie’s faction. OH MY GOD I CAN’T BELIEVE IT WHO COULD HAVE PREDICTED THIS? Well, that’s all I need to say about this development. Actually, just one more thing — one more fucking absurd thing: Elfie didn’t lose Will in a contest of magical prowess. Nope, she lost him due to rock-paper-scissors. So dumb. This is so, so dumb. Of course, a bunch of plot stuff happens afterwards, but who cares at this point? Oh no, there’s a traitor in the tower!!! Yeah, no shit there’s a traitor! It’s the fucking author! The phone call is coming from inside the house! Will and Elfie is like that stupid consent meme. He consents, she consents, but do you know who doesn’t consent? The person who created them!
But wait, maybe I’m being too mean. Y’see, there was this sad story about a visual novel developer. He was being lambasted for his game’s unrealistic story in the reviews, so you wanna know how he responded? He first apologized, then explained that the romance probably felt off because he had never experienced love before. Oof. Now I wonder about Wistoria‘s author… hm.
Anyway, the third season has already been confirmed. People love yearning.
Everything else about everything else:
I saw that the replica show had a bittersweet ending — something about both doppelgangers merging back with their originals, but the originals kept the memories. Eh, I think that’s weak. I don’t wanna deal with that. My instinct to avoid investing completely into the show was correct, I think.
I actually have two new summer shows I haven’t covered. I’ll probably have some first impressions post up for them by tomorrow morning.