Even Hana-Kimi gets it right once in a blue moon.
Oh Boy, Was I Wrong About Her Ep. 2
There isn’t a whole lot to talk about, because this show is just recycling old romcom tropes. For example, Haruki tries to hide the fact that she has tomboyish interests. She gets overwhelmed when people try to engage her in stereotypical girl talk. Cool. Super exciting.
Meanwhile, Hayato somehow doesn’t have a smartphone in this day and age, so he has to awkwardly reject both Haruki and Minamo when they ask for his contact info. He then gives us brilliant gems like “Maybe if I had a cell phone, [Haruki and I] could start getting to know each other better.” Ah, what a philosopher!
Next, Haruki continues having one-on-one encounters with Minamo, the veggies girl. Nothing wrong with platonic relationships, but I suspect this isn’t what the show is angling for. But why bother? Hayato and Haruki are so inevitable, this subplot feels pointless.
Afterwards, Haruki teases Hayato by doting on him in class, which draws everyone’s ire. ‘Cause, y’know, how dare he be friendly with the popular girl! I hate this trope so much. It’s bad enough that people idolize celebrities, but when you do it to your own classmate…? That’s weird, man.
The episode ends with Hayato and his sister Himeko making a pilgrimage to a conbini. This isn’t really something that crosses cultural barriers. It’d be like me getting excited over a 7-Eleven. I guess a nice, local bodega could merit a similar response, but I feel like that’s more of an East Coast thing. In any case, the siblings run into Haruki. The problem here is that Haruki doesn’t recognize Himeko, and Himeko still thinks Haruki is a boy. What gives? Why has Hayato kept his best friend’s gender a secret from his own sister? Just strange.
Love Unseen Beneath the Clear Night Sky Ep. 2
Koharu keeps losing her cane at the end of class, which gives Kakeru a reason to keep helping her. Wouldn’t it be interesting if this was all just a ruse on her part? Like she’s gunning for his attention? But I dunno, Koharu seems too wholesome… but that’s exactly what manipulators want you to think! Ah, I think my mind is just racing to make this show a little more exciting. Otherwise, all we have is Kakeru being confused over extremely basic ass things. For example, Yuko calls out to Koharu, who instantly turns to greet her friend. Normal, right? But Kakeru is all, “You could tell it was Hayase from just that?” Brother, are you okay? You don’t need vision for that! People recognize each other’s voices all the time! It’s called being friends.
The problem is that Kakeru has all these questions he wants to ask Koharu, but he thinks it would be rude to do so. I think it would be even worse to go through life not understanding each other, but sure, keep hiding behind social etiquette. But the funny thing is that he’s not particularly graceful in social situations himself! Once Yuko sits down and engages Koharu in a friendly conversation, Kakeru sits there awkwardly and silently like a dumb log. He eventually feels like a third wheel — even though he could’ve joined in at any point — he suddenly gets up to leave. You wanna tell me that’s not rude? Before he can bail on the girls, however, Yuko asks if he could guide them to the Memorial Hall, a sort of concert space where people can perform to an audience. How does Kakeru respond? “So why do I have to take you?” Man, this guy is just an ass. Him failing to ask Koharu questions about disability isn’t about politeness. He’s just a coward on top of being an ass.
We next see Kakeru sitting in on what sounds like a psychology lecture. The professor is talking about how attraction can develop from simply being near someone. For some reason, Kakeru’s mind drifts to his roommate. The obvious candidate should’ve been Koharu, but he is refusing to acknowledge the possibility that she is slowly seeping into his life. What is he so afraid of? In fact, when he sees her later that day, he tries to use what he had just learned — a concept called the suspension bridge effect — to convince himself that he couldn’t possibly feel any attraction towards Koharu. She asks him to reenact a scene from Titanic, which Kakeru naturally refuses ’cause again, he’s a coward. Later that night, he has a dream about that exact scene, but not with Koharu. Again, it’s his roommate. The funny thing is, in any other show, I would think Kakeru is closeted. But we already know that they’ll get together. The show isn’t called Love Unseen Beneath the Clear Night Sky for nothing! He isn’t spending every damn second with Koharu for nothing! So it’s super weird how Kakeru is having pseudo gay thoughts because god forbid he falls for a blind girl.
We end the episode with Koharu asking if she could refer to Kakeru by his given name. She obviously likes him. My thing is, does she like him because they’re truly compatible? Or does she like him because every other guy avoids her for being blind? After all, that’s what we saw in the first episode. She and Yuko attended a drinking party, and yet not a single person wanted to socialize with them because of Koharu’s blindness. So what gives? Is Kakeru actually super nice relative to his peers? Are all Japanese dudes really this awkward about a disability? I feel like this can’t be true, but the anime sure is painting a certain picture…
Saved by the Ice Cold Prince’s Embrace Ep. 1
Oh, here’s the show with the wicked stepmother and stepsister. I also forgot this anime existed. Well, two things stand out right from the get go. First, the opening episode is only five and a half minutes long. The rest will probably be the same. Not only that, the ED takes up another ninety seconds. I typically don’t bother with shorts, but in terms of real content, I only have four minutes to burn through! Jack the playback speed up to 2x and we’re golden! Second, the show is technically animated, but barely. It’s like watching a visual novel on auto.
So what’s the gist? Stepsister committed a major faux pas, so she was supposed to be sent away to live with some cruel, cold-hearted prince. Instead, they sacrifice our heroine Katrina. Finally, she arrives at the prince’s mansion and comes face to face with the man himself when–… whoops, wouldja look at the time! Episode over!
But jokes aside, this is why I avoid anime shorts. I’m only sticking around for the novelty, and it’ll only waste two actual minutes of my life to watch.
Hana-Kimi S2 Ep. 1-3
I hate-watched the first season, because I simply think Mizuki is a terrible person. To quickly recap, she ran off to Japan, cross-dressed as a guy, and infiltrated an all-male school just to be close to her crush. In any other form of media, she would be considered a stalker who needs serious mental health. But here in anime land, it’s all “haha she’s making Nakatsu think he’s gay!” Which, coincidentally, plays a huge role in the opening episode of the second season.
Nakatsu starts off the new season by continuing to be flummoxed by his sexuality. To compound matters, a girl named Komari suddenly confesses to him. Nakatsu admits that she’s cute, b-b-but what about all these gay feelings he has for Mizuki!!! At one point, he tries to settle things once and for all by trying to steal a kiss from a sleeping Mizuki. See? Everyone fucking sucks here. Kids, definitely don’t do that. Anyway, when Mizuki sleep-mumbles Sano’s name, Nakatsu runs off. The next time we see him, he’s hanging out with Komari. Oh boy. Unfortunately, he starts going out with her just to feel straight. Yes, Mizuki is really a girl, but as far as Nakatsu’s concerned, she presents as a boy. A very effeminate boy, but a boy nonetheless. So Nakatsu should quit being in denial, which he sorta accomplishes by the end of the second episode. He eventually breaks things off with Komari, but I still feel bad for her. She deserves better. As for Nakatsu, he’s a lost cause. He confesses to Mizuki by the end of the second episode, but what’s the point? Even if he’s no longer uneasy with his sexuality, he’s never going to beat out Sano for her heart.
As for Mizuki and Sano, he’s pretty much her boyfriend in all but name. He literally tells a reporter that he got back into high jumps just to keep Mizuki close to him. And true to his word, Sano’s super affectionate with her all the time, but she’s too stupid to realize his obvious feelings. Some homies might hug like this and still keep things platonic, but the vast majority don’t! Instead, she gets sidetracked by that same reporter, who is hellbent on writing stories about Sano. I would say it’s weird for a woman to be this obsessed with a high school athlete, but Mizuki’s obsession is even more deranged. It’s just remarkable to me how weird everyone is. Nobody is freakin’ normal in this story (other than the girl who just got dumped, I guess). Everyone is just so unlikable, right down to the school nurse who hands Mizuki one of his nudes in order to help scare away the reporter. Y’see, they’re so messed up.
The third episode sees Julia join the cast. In case you forgot, Julia is Mizuki’s American bestie. Sheesh, now there are two of them! Is it really that easy for Americans to study abroad in Japan? I dunno about that… In any case, her sudden appearance is like a wrecking ball. Nakatsu is now jealous that a woman is flirting with his “man” Mizuki. Meanwhile, Mizuki can’t believe Nakatsu is into her, because she’s presenting as a guy. Ma’am, homosexuality exists? Nevertheless, Dr. Umeda assures her that Nakatsu is straight as an arrow. As a result, Mizuki’s brilliant plan is to be even manlier than ever in hopes of turning Nakatsu off. Meanwhile, Julia wants to help Mizuki with Sano by making the guy jealous. How do they intend to accomplish this? By having Julia pretend to be a straight couple with Mizuki. All this really does, however, is drive Nakatsu nutty. Sano merely pulls the “Durr, I can’t understand women” card. Meanwhile, Nanba the playboy shamelessly flirts with Julia. She has no issue socking him in the face for daring to touch her hair without permission, but Mr. Future Date Rape won’t take no or even a punch for an answer. Last but not least, Sano is still a coward who won’t just confess his feelings to Mizuki, but he’s content to snuggle with his “male” roommate at night while watching horror movies. Also, he’s got daddy issues or something. Phew. All of that in just one episode! I absolutely hate all of these characters, but I gotta admit they managed to jam a lot of drama into 24 short minutes. Talk about Days of Our Weeb Lives…
Smoking Behind the Supermarket with You Ep. 1
Why did they release the first six episodes of this show as half-episodes? Just as a preview? Did it actually help drive more people to watch this show? I only watched three of those mini-episodes. Nevertheless, this means the first episode doesn’t have any new content for me. Essentially, Sasaki is an overworked, 40-plus salaryman who has a crush on Yamada, the 24-year-old cashier at his local conbini. He doesn’t realize, however, that Tayama — the “cooler Daniel” — is literally the same woman. Basically, Sasaki is a dumbass. He also smokes, which is dumb and gross. But she also smokes, so I guess they’re destined to grow old with lung cancer together. But hey, I’ve been told that this series is cozy! Let’s see if that pans out. I still think he should just find someone his own age, though. I can’t imagine dating someone young enough to be my daughter. It would just weird me out.
Please Excuse My Younger Brothers Ep. 2
Yeah, I wasn’t really interested in this show, but… gotta be fair, I guess. I make fun of so many harems and pseudo-harems, so why not a reverse one? Ideally, however, this show wouldn’t even be in this category. Ideally, we’d have a wholesome anime about blended families coming together to support one another. After all, it isn’t easy meshing two completely different groups together. Living with someone always creates friction, especially if you’ve literally never met them before (thanks Mom). But it’s so painfully obvious what this show is angling for. At one point, Gen is buck ass naked except for a towel, and he more or less gets on top of Ito. If the show isn’t a romance, then what the fuck is it?
Plus, the show even shamelessly finds an excuse to get the parents out of the picture. It’s been two episodes! Two! All of a sudden, dad’s job has been relocated, and mom is going with him! Y’all just gonna leave all these kids behind? It’s fucking stupid! Not only that, there’s a big debate over whether or not Ito should go with them. Y’see, Gen is still putting up walls, and he thinks she would be happier with their parents. But Ito starts thinking about how much she cherishes her stepbrothers already–… it’s been two episodes! This feels like a midseason development if not a breakthrough for the finale. But we’re doing it in episode two? Pfft, I guess the stepsiblings are tight-knit already.
Rich Girl Caretaker Ep. 2
Bro, you’re down to just 20000 yen a month? I thought it was per day! Well, the screenshot above is probably a mistranslation, because he later calls this same lump sum “a daily allowance.” I still think it’s a piss poor amount for essentially babysitting one of the richest girls in the country. After all, Itsuki has to serve as Hinako’s lap pillow during lunch breaks, bribe her with potato chips when she’s being bratty, wipe her mouth when she eats said potato chips, and even wash her hair at night. This is just the first day. There are babysitters out there who don’t have to do this much and still get paid more. Itsuki is getting shafted. Hinako isn’t much of a love interest either. She’s more like a daughter than a potential girlfriend.
Other than that, however, the rest of the episode is pretty standard (read: boring). Itsuki’s the new transfer student, but everyone gives him the cold shoulder because they saw him walking to school with Hinako. C’mon, is this really a thing? Do Japanese kids really treat popular students like idols? Because I’ve been watching anime for decades and I still find this behavior weird and off-putting. But it’s not the only shitty thing about this school. Two kids walk up to Itsuki during break time and introduce themselves as “ascended commoners.” What a douchey term. Itsuki then meets another girl who is offended that he’s never heard of the “Tennoji Group.” Everyone is insufferable here; they’re all high on their own farts.
Right before the episode ends, we meet yet another girl. This one, however, recognizes Itsuki and practically tackles him to the ground in an attempt to hug him. She’s clearly the childhood friend, and her closeness to him will likely color Hinako green with envy. But in her current state, there’s nothing really attractive about Hinako. This might be one of those shows where the canon couple is vastly inferior to the other options.
The Duke’s Son Claims He Won’t Love Me Yet Showers Me with Adoration Ep. 2
Our newly wedded Elsa couldn’t be happier. She spends her days tending to her vegetable garden, harvesting said vegetables and hand delivering them to the chefs, then she settles in for an exciting day of sewing with the maids! Oh, my husband needs a new shirt, so I started spinning the thread myself! Elsa’s just living her best trad wife life! Sadly, husband-wife relations remain frosty. Gosh, what’s a trad wife to do in this scenario? Unfortunately, Elsa doesn’t have the technological wonder known as Tiktok to help her out with this little conundrum.
I’m onto this show! It can’t fool me! Over and over again, the show tries to trick me with explanations for Julius’s coldness. His parents openly cheated on each other, so he thinks marriages are a sham! He can’t trust women! What if they poison him! He’s an intelligence operative who pumps women for information, so he doesn’t know what to do with Elsa’s pure-hearted kindness! Boo hoo, Julius is so emotionally damaged! Muh psychological drama because mommy and daddy didn’t love each other!* Only an innocent maiden’s love can heal my troubled heart! Uh-huh, sure.
We also learn early on, however, that Julius never eats his vegetables. Therein lies the truth, you guys: he’s just constipated. Julius is a dick to Elsa because he’s literally full of shit. Luckily, his childhood friend Rebeka clues Elsa in on the fact that his birthday is coming up. As a result, she’s going to make him gratin, his favorite meal. Sure, it’s like cheese, meat and potatoes, which aren’t super conducive to doing your business. The cake won’t help either. But our trad wife will also sneak in minced veggies. Haha, what is he — a fucking child? Yeah, I guess. Bro says hi to his wife like twice a day at most. He ain’t a man yet. Seriously, though, dude’s 24 years old and can’t even eat his vegetables. Maybe she should also pre-chew his gratin for him. Well, rest assured, Elsa will thaw his heart eventually — one bowel movement at a time.
One quick aside: at a tea party, Serafina tries to intimidate Elsa, but our heroine is too trusting and naive to even notice. But I got a little confused, because Serafina initially introduced herself as “I am Serafina of the ducal house of Parnilla.” When Rebeka later pulls rank, however, it turns out that Serafina’s father is just a count? Was she simply lying? I guess that’s the simplest explanation. In any case, Serafina’s failed stunt is the equivalent to our modern day “do you know who I am?!” The only response this sort of behavior deserves is laughter.
*In case I need to spell it out, I’m just being facetious.
The Ogre’s Bride Ep. 2
I saw a clip today of Aubrey Plaza talking about what it’s like to be on set. She’s not always acting, so the contrast is jarring. According to her, the production crew will baby actors as if they can’t do anything. She then reasons that some actors are so weird because they spend all their time on set. As such, they become spoiled and can’t even do anything for themselves. They are infantilized. Why do I bring this up? Because that’s what this episode feels like.
Reiya brings Yuzu home to an estate full of servants ready to serve her every need, and I really mean that in every sense of the word. As soon as she gets to her room, a lady servant immediately rips Yuzu’s clothes off. She’s not even allowed to change herself! Not to be outdone, her future husband doesn’t even let her walk on her own two feet. Bro, her arm got burned, not her legs. Anyway, as she slumbers after a long day, Reiya sets in motion a plan to get rid of her family without even consulting her. Sure, her parents are abusive losers. And sure, it would be better if her grandparents could adopt her. But c’mon, this is still her family! She should obviously be consulted first! Or is she just a doll to look pretty by Reiya’s side? Is this romantic? Does it get your heart thumping when you are infantilized? Plus, can you really trust a dude who talks about other women this way?
Anyway, we get some clumsy exposition to explain why Reiya is so in love with Yuzu already: it’s just magic. When demons see their fated one, their heart starts racing. That’s just how it works. Of course, the show understands that you can’t just meet your fated someone. With all the people in this world, there’s no guarantee that you would ever meet your elusive person. And before Reiya had set his eyes upon Yuzu, he was content to enter into a strategic marriage with a demon lady. Good thing that fox douche burned Yuzu’s arm then, huh? If he hadn’t done that, she would never have run away from home and thus bumped into Reiya. They should invite him to the wedding.
On a somewhat lighter note, Reiya creates miniature versions of himself to protect Yuzu. She, however, easily distracts them with an iPad. Even high and mighty ogres are not immune to brainrot.
Hanaori-san Still Wants to Fight in the Next Life Ep. 1
This is a hard one to categorize. I have it here in “Romance Roundup,” because the synopsis is pretty clear:
Once the Demon King, now a shut-in NEET—Ryuusei Narukami’s second life is anything but peaceful! When Meteor Hanaori, the Hero who once defeated him, suddenly returns as a normal high school girl, his world is thrown into chaos. Determined to change, Ryuusei reenters society as a teacher and ends up teaching at her school! Their explosive reunion reignites the past—and sparks an unexpected love!
But it’s also a reverse isekai. Like the synopsis says, the main character is a former demon lord, and in his new life, he’s hounded by Hanaori, the former hero(ine). If you watch the show, however, the pacing sends a completely different messsage: it feel like a bunch of 4-komas slapped together. The first episode was nonstop bits and gags; it doesn’t feel like it’s trying to tell a coherent story much less a romance. So yeah, I don’t really know what to make of this show yet. And yes, it’s so dumb that Narukami ends up being Hanaori’s homeroom teacher. It’s too bad, because I kinda like the banter between the two main characters.
Your moment of zen:
Just ten years? Back in my day, we had a hundred years of solitude, and we liked it!