Literally, what are you doing, stepbro?
Oh Boy, Was I Wrong About Her Ep. 5
Despite it being painfully obvious that Haruki and Hayato are made for each other, the show is still rife with harem hijinks. Saki, Himeko’s friend, even joins the mix. Himeko thinks her friend dislikes her brother, but Saki is just tsundere. But really? Do we have to turn this into a harem?
Well, Haruki has one suitor that Hayato has to worry about. And since she has come to realize that she might have feelings for Hayato, it would only be fair if this super popular soccer player also sticks Hayato with a skosh of insecurities.
As for the rest of the episode… eh… the girls freak out over gaining a few kilos — four, to be exact. Haruki and Himeko thus embark on a mad quest to diet. Four. Dude, c’mon, it’s four kilos. Water retention probably gets you one or two kilos. And being full of food maybe gets you another kilo. They had just been eating, after all. And as crude as it might sound, if you haven’t taken a dump recently, that adds weight too. So in reality, you might have gained a kilo or two on your own? Whatever, man. Just don’t give yourself an eating disorder.
Love Unseen Beneath the Clear Night Sky Ep. 5
We’re finally privy to Koharu’s thoughts and feelings. It only lasts for about half of this week’s episode, but I’ll take it. Hell, I feel like we should’ve gotten this regularly from day one. Koharu unsurprisingly spends most of her time gushing about Kakeru. She thinks Kakeru is so nice and that he tries so hard to be understanding. Meanwhile, I feel like we just saw his roommate have to convince him to treat her normally. It’s all relative, right? We’ve gotten to be in his head for four episodes straight, and from my vantage point, I’m not impressed. But if other people treat Koharu even worse than he does — and it sounds like they straight up just leave her out of everything they do — then sure, he’s the nicest damn boy she’s ever met. To put it another way, she’s already deeply in love.
Well, the feeling’s mutual, but they’re both too scared and shy to outright admit that they like each other. Koharu teases Kakeru a bit. In response to Kakeru insisting that he would vote for her if she had entered a yukata-wearing contest, she replies, “That would almost be like you confessing your feelings for me.” if he had been smooth, he would’ve parlayed that into the start of a relationship. But no, he fumbles the opportunity. It’s a bit like watching young teenagers even though they’re in college, but I can at least understand Koharu’s insecurities. Some people simply are not comfortable with dating someone with a disability, and honestly…? Kakeru was in that same group until recently.
Anyway, a couple minor asides:
- There’s a sequence in the episode where Koharu’s world fills in bit by bit as she listens to Kakeru describe their surroundings. It’s a neat visual exercise.
- Damn, her mom is rather traditional. How many Japanese women still wear a yukata at home every day? I almost wanted to call it a kimono, and to be honest, I still can’t really tell the difference when the yukata isn’t short-sleeved.
Saved by the Ice Cold Prince’s Embrace Ep. 4
Clarence woos Katrina with his ability to magically conjure up ice sculptures of forest animals. He and his servants marvel over Katrina’s newfound ability to finish her meals like a big girl! Clarence then shares his own sob story about his difficult upbringing. I guess that’s why he feels so strongly about protecting her despite having only met the girl just recently. Still, they haven’t really explained why it’s his job to re-educate uppity noble girls like Charlotte.
Hana-Kimi S2 Ep. 6
Julia suspects that Izumi knows Mizuki’s secret, so much of the episode is her trying to figure out his feelings. Eventually, Izumi straight up tells Julia that he loves Mizuki. See? Doesn’t everything just get easier when you communicate? But of course, he’s not going to tell Mizuki his true feelings. Maybe he’s hoping that Julia will force his hand. But she won’t. After all, we’re only midway through the season.
Afterwards, the school nurse warns Julia that Mizuki would need to leave the school if her secret ever got out. Then fine, graduate from high school and stop lying about who you are. I still think this is an insane plot. I don’t care if the original manga was from the 90s, ’cause it was insane back then too.
Anyway, Izumi still hasn’t settled things with his lil’ bro Shin, and Mizuki never thinks before she acts. As a result, when she sees Shin hanging around Izumi’s school — isn’t Shin from all the way up in Hokkaido? — Mizuki goes chasing after the kid. Hell, she even tackles him to the ground. She’s so boorish. Earlier in the episode, she she had cheered Izumi up by telling him all about how she used to rip into her brother. She knew her brother loved her, so that’s why she felt she could say horrible things to him. I think this is supposed to show Izumi how bonds between siblings are ironclad; they can’t be easily broken so he should keep trying with Shin. But all I’m thinking is how much I hate that sort of dynamic. I hate it when your family takes the piss out of you, because they expect blood ties to trump everything. That’s terrible. Family and loved ones always take advantage of this and use it to cross all sorts of lines. Anyway, even after one and a half seasons worth of episodes, I still don’t understand what makes Mizuki appealing as a person.
Smoking Behind the Supermarket with You Ep. 4
In the first half of the episode, Sasaki’s coworker gives him grief over reading a physical newspaper, wearing reading glasses, and having a flip phone. I dunno, man, some of these complaints are pretty silly. What’s wrong with reading glasses? Fuck me for wanting to see, right? And smart phones are convenient, but there’s something to be said about wanting to disconnect from all the apps trying desperately to hog your attention and engagement. Some parents have resorted to giving their kids a flip phone over a smart phone. A recruiter for a company making “smart bed covers” reached out to me recently, and I just think it’s insane how everything has to be “smart” nowadays.
Sasaki gets a smartphone anyway, and he unsurprisingly doesn’t know how to use it. He freaks out when the front-facing camera turns on. Kinda weird. At his age, he should fall within the millennial bracket. That group should have no problems picking up new technology. Plus, the best way to ward off dementia is to constantly push yourself to learn new things, so I always shake my head whenever I see someone give up too easily. Like bro, it’s not going to explode if you press the wrong buttons. Just experiment until you get the hang of it. You need to have at least a baseline of self-sufficiency. Plus, when and if you have kids, how are you going to keep them safe if you can’t keep up with technology? But of course, Sasaki has to act like a helpless baby. This way, he has an excuse to beg Tayama for help.
It’s honestly kinda pathetic. Tayama is giving Sasaki pretty basic instructions. Open the app store, create an account for the app store (usually not necessary because setting up the phone should automatically do this), look up and download the newspaper app, create an account for the app, etc. This is like learning how to walk down the street or microwave a meal. How is any of this confusing? I don’t want to be one of those people who is like, “I only date smart people!” But y’know what? This sort of ignorance is pretty unattractive. Do I expect a layperson to know how to get enable developer’s options and make real custom changes? No. But not even knowing how to download an app? Dude, get outta here. Worst of all, Tayama ends up having to do the whole damn thing for him. He couldn’t even follow basic instructions. Well, she should get used to it if she decides to pursue this age-gap romance. He’ll probably need her to wipe his ass in a couple of decades.
Anyway, we went through all that just for Tayama to tease Sasaki by putting Yamada’s number on his phone. Obviously, he still has no clue that they’re the same person…
Second half of the episode simply has Sasaki catching Tayama off guard not once but twice. He calls her two-faced, but only because he thinks she’s nice despite her aloof exterior. This embarrasses her, which he mistakes as anger. Later, when everyone switches over to their summer uniforms, he acts like a major schoolboy over seeing Yamada’s bare arms. But when Tayama shows off her midriff, he turns into a mega-prude. Now it’s her turn to misunderstand him, thinking that he prefers arms to bellies. No, I think he’s just a really old, really tall schoolboy. Bro acts like a kid who has had to age up rapidly… like Tom Hanks’ character in Big.
Please Excuse My Younger Brothers Ep. 5
Another week, another episode full of nonstop infantilization. Good lord, a teen boy can dry his own damn hair. Hell, a really mature 7-year-old could probably be trusted with a blow dryer. What is wrong with these brothers? Also, I’m an only child, so I’m no expert when it comes to sibling dynamics… but would you guys really lick ice cream off of your brother’s arm? Really? Really?! This is getting kinda fetishistic.
Lately, Gen has been flirting with Ito hardcore without even realizing he’s doing it. Ito tries to be direct with him, but he denies doing anything weird. He’s lying or a dumbass. Most likely the latter. After all, Raku has to state the obvious. Raku even asks Gen to list out the qualities of his ideal girl, and Gen ends up describing Ito to a T. Guess we’re really doing it — we’re really going to have the two step-siblings fall in love.
By the way, the parents are back (only temporarily), but I actually think they support the idea! It’s funny, ’cause I’ve read stories that would paint the opposite picture. For instance, two friends start dating, then their single parents get to know each other. The single parents suddenly get married, and now they want their kids to split up even though the kids were a couple long before them. Unfair, right? But I think that’s how this sort of thing usually plays out over here. People don’t get excited about step-sibling bullshit unless you’re watching porn.
Anyway, we can’t get the relationship ball rolling until Ito deals with all of the brothers, and that includes the shut-in. The guy almost never leaves his room. All he does is play Final Hunter (a legally distinct Monster Hunter, I’m sure) all day. He has cripplingly low self-esteem, and thinks he isn’t worthy of anybody’s attention. Why haven’t his parents gotten him any help? Well, duh, they’re too busy having their own little love nest all the way up in Hokkaido. Pathetic.
Anyway, being the busybody that she is, Ito tries to reach out to Syu by barging into his room, but that clearly won’t work. So instead, she becomes a degenerate gamer herself. She literally creates a character in Final Hunter, tracks him down in the open field somehow, and befriends him. We then get a montage of their adventures in the game before the credits roll. While I commend Ito’s hard work and dedication, I really hope this doesn’t end up being the panacea that somehow cures Syu of his issues. It would be too silly. Kid barely sees direct sunlight for years and years, but his stepsister has a few gaming sessions with him and now he’s cured? He’s ready to go to the beach with his brothers? Yeah, don’t do that. That’s cheap.
Rich Girl Caretaker Ep. 5
You’re right, Itsuki! This doesn’t solve the fundamental problem. Unfortunately, I don’t think he and I are referring to the same thing. So let’s back this up a bit. Itsuki loses his job when Hinako’s mask slips. Y’see, her father was trying to sell her off for money. They call it an arranged marriage, but let’s call a spade a spade. He wasn’t trying to choose the best husband for his daughter; he just wanted to enrich his company’s coffers. Well, everything gets called off when Hinako invokes the three-second rule in the company of VIPs, and guess whose fault that is? That’s right, it’s Itsuki’s! So of course, he gets fired. After a pep talk from Narika, however, Itsuki tries to force his way back into Hinako’s life like some kind of action hero. Apparently, sparring with your childhood friend allows you to toss grown men — grown men who are employed as bodyguards — with ease. Sure. When Itsuki finally reaches Hinako, she suggests having him take her hostage in order to extort her father. That’s when he tells her that this wouldn’t solve the fundamental problem. What am I referring to then?
Well, Shizuna has a different tactic. Y’see, thanks to Itsuki’s influence, Hinako has finally made real friends at school — friends with equally rich, influential parents. This is ultimately what convinces her father to relent. He reasons that multiple wealthy connections are far better than one (goody, he knows basic math). If this means Hinako’s mask has to slip once in a blue moon, then so be it. As a result, Itsuki gets his job back. Yay, happy ending, right? No, because Hinako’s father still only cares about money. Not once did his daughter’s happiness figure into his decision-making process. And yet, he has this to say to Itsuki at the end of the episode: “I want a son-in-law to inherit the business for appearances, but the one I really want running things is Hinako.” What a joke. Nobody has the balls to call him out, though.
Anyway, Hinako was probably in love with Itsuki before, but she’s now finally aware of her own feelings. Okay.
The Duke’s Son Claims He Won’t Love Me Yet Showers Me with Adoration Ep. 5
Oof, looks like the animation budget has bailed on us.
Under his highness’s orders — I’m not capitalizing “highness” ’cause he ain’t my king — Julius takes his wife out on a date to a botanical garden. It’s not very exciting to watch, but don’t blame the garden. San Francisco has one, and it’s pretty neat. They hold all sorts of interesting events and workshops. No, the problem here is that the characters are boring, so their relationship is boring as well. Nothing exciting happens until an interloper shows up, which is kinda sad when you think about it. On their wedding day, Julius coldly informed Elsa that their union would be nothing more than a marriage of convenience. But today, amidst all the pretty flowers, he’s about to retract his words only for that dastardly Jarmo to show up! Normally, I hate this sort of thing. I hate even the mere potential for someone to cheat. But y’see, this romance doesn’t have a pulse. It’s dead in the water. If we need a slimeball like Jarmo to shock the patient back to life, so be it.
After a brief exchange of words, Julius stomps off with Elsa in tow. It then starts raining. Convenient how the weather matches up with Julius’s mood. Maybe he should be a weatherman. Even worse, however, is how the rain dredges up bad memories. Basically, he once had a good day out with his mom until they saw his father being unfaithful at a cafe. Someone had poor opsec! Anyway, it started raining, so his mom took her anger out on the rain, told young Julius how she never wanted to come out again, blah blah blah. Bog standard sob story for our bog standard male lead. Back in the present, Julius succumbs to a cold thanks to the weather (and also probably all those late nights at the “office”). Luckily, Elsa’s pureheartedness is the pick-me-up he needs! Fucking yawn. Time for me to go use the defibrillator on myself.
There’s an after credits scene where Julius is ordered to attend a soiree at Count Parnilla’s house, so at least the drama-farming siblings can keep trying to shake things up. Do I want either Elsa or Julius to cheat? Of course not. But a little chaos wouldn’t hurt.
The Ogre’s Bride Ep. 5
So many red flags in this episode. So, so many red flags. Reiya understands that Yuzu wants to be independent, but he won’t allow her to work her old job. Instead, she’ll just work for him. She later admits happily to her bestie, “I’m grateful he’s letting me work at all.” When Yuzu finally returns to school, she notices how everyone clears out when Touko and her fiance Toukichi show up. That’s because demons and their demon brides are special! You can’t just casually talk to them! Needless to say, when Touko blabs about Yuzu becoming an ogre’s bride — OMG, an ogre?! — our girl becomes an instant celebrity.
At lunch, Touko brings up Reiya’s fiancee — former, to be exact. Basically, every demon male enters into an arranged marriage until they find their human bride. She then takes precedence. But Yuzu knows nothing about this — nor did Reiya ever bring up his now defunct engagement — so she starts worrying. If I didn’t know any better, I would think Touko was trying to stir up drama outta jealousy. But she’s just dumb. It’s probably the toxoplasmosis (’cause her fiance’s a cat demon).
Anyway, Yuzu starts working in the office right next to Reiya. She ends up feeling insecure and inadequate because Reiya’s secretary Araki knows exactly what his boss needs at all times. Dude is so gay, and obviously, I don’t mean that in a pejorative sense. Araki is just that in love with Reiya. In fact, he swore to serve Reiya when they first met as kids. Just look at this description: “His blood-red eyes are beautiful. His expression is dark and mature. His entire body is shrouded in powerful demonic energy. He has the imposing air of a king!” Trust me, I have never described one of my homies that way. But sure, Araki is super straight, wink wink. Don’t worry, buddy. Your dreams will live on in AO3 fanfics.
But here’s the part that makes me want to scrub my skin until it’s red, because uuuuuugh. One night, Reiya returns home with gifts upon gifts upon gifts. Each one comes with a letter. One of them read: “Yuzu, happy first birthday. I’m so glad you were born. From, Reiya.” Here’s another letter: “Dear three-year old Yuzu. Are you being demanding yet?” Let’s keep going. “Dear thirteen-year-old Yuzu. You’re in middle school now. You must look cute in your uniform.” “Dear seventeen-year-old Yuzu. I had a perfume made for you. I’ll be seeing you soon.” If it isn’t clear what he’s doing, Reiya is giving Yuzu both a present and a handwritten letter for every single missed birthday of her short life. This is so fucking weird, man. Yuzu is only 18, so what is this? Retroactive grooming? But of course, Yuzu is crying tears of joy. She’s not remotely skeezed out. If anything, she’s falling for him even harder. And to celebrate her current age, Reiya gifts her a heart-shaped necklace. Most women I know find heart-shaped jewelry mega-tacky, but hey, considering… everything else, we ended on a mildest of red flags.
Oh, I almost forgot! Whenever Yuzu needs a favor, she has to give Reiya a kiss. Yup, add it to the pile.
Hanaori-san Still Wants to Fight in the Next Life Ep. 4
Not only does Ayame have pink hair, she’s also a former hero from another world. Do they all share the same look or what? Ayame is kind of like a twisted mirror of Meteor, because she’s consumed with bloodlust. She intends to defeat both Ryusei and Meteor for EXP. Literally. But of course, the good guys beat her through a series of unfortunate events. Then we’re right back to silly comedy. For example, Sakura tries to put Ryusei and Meteor through couple’s therapy, because the entire school thinks they’re dating. Well, he did give her a ring. I’m still skeptical that these two will get together before the season ends, though.
My investment in this anime continues to plummet, but hey, it’s easy enough to watch. I don’t laugh at the humor, but I also don’t really have to pay close attention to it. I just let it wash over me, and before I know it, the episode is over.